Is this a reason NOT to love them?

People can be annoying.

It’s just a basic fact of life.

And when we are annoyed, it creates upset and stress in our body, mind and spirit.

Not to mention the trouble we can cause if we get annoyed and then immediately lash out and create even more drama.

It’s taken me years to train myself to allow myself the time to just “be” with the upset, to not react, or overreact to the situation.

As I am “just being,” I give myself the space to try to figure out what I am annoyed about, and then decide whether or not there is something to do about it.

Sometimes a conversation is in order to talk things through, but most of the time, once I ask myself the following question, I can soften and release my emotions.

That question is: Is this a reason not to love them?

Nearly 99% of the time, whoever you are annoyed at didn’t do something on purpose. They were just being their human, imperfect self (and I am pretty sure my imperfect self can be annoying to others).

Indulging in feelings of anger, annoyance, or the like are just harming me. According to the scientific research done by the Institute of Heartmath, negative emotions such as anger and resentment actually suppress our immune system for up to eight hours!

When I stay personally responsible for my reactions and responses to annoyances, it supports me in reaching my daily goal of santosha, which is Sanskrit for contentment.

Wishing you love, laughter, and SERENITY!

Arielle

When Is It OK to Lie?

I’ve been thinking about honesty and lying lately… a lot!

It began several weeks ago while I was listening to Dr. Laura on the radio.

A male caller was sharing that he had recently had a one night stand while on a business trip and he was feeling a huge amount of regret and remorse and was asking Dr. Laura if he should confess to his wife of 10 years with whom he had 3 young children.

He said he loved his wife and his kids and he would never cheat again.

Dr. Laura’s advice took me by surprise.

She told the caller that it would be “selfish” of him to confess to his wife and turn their lives upside down.

And, that since he had committed to never doing it again, he should keep quiet and suffer in silence.

Clearly, this is a lie by omission.

And, it’s also a lie that might keep a mostly happy family intact.

This got me thinking about all the different kinds of lies that exist, from
half-truths to little white lies, to the newest version now known as “alternative facts.”

There is a part of me that agrees with Dr. Laura, and another part that wonders if that is really the best way to go.

Years ago I had a client, Brad Blanton, who wrote a book called Radical Honesty.

It’s exactly what it sounds like and he said that the ONLY lie he would ever condone is if the Nazi’s were banging on your door and you had Jews hidden in your attic, then lying would be the right thing to do.

Many of us consider ourselves basically honest people who tell little lies all the time.

These are lies we are ok with: We lie to not hurt someone’s feelings, or we lie to get out of making plans we don’t want to do (you know, “wow, thanks for the invite but I’ll be in Timbuktu that day…”).

I don’t have any real conclusions here, except to say this is what has been on my mind and if I had a working magic wand, I would wave it at the world and ask for a return to basic values such as honesty, integrity, civility and a whole lot more compassion for ourselves, and fellow humans.

Wishing you love, laughter, and magical kisses,

Arielle

Are You Highly Sensitive?

One of the biggest AHA moments of my life was when I discovered that I wasn’t crazy…. I found out that being super sensitive to loud noises and bright lights (and more) is actually a condition with a name – it’s called being a Highly Sensitive Person (HSP).

What a relief it was to discover not only a name for my peculiar reactions to life, but that there are also solutions. (Some are below!)

About 20% of the population is born with heightened sensitivities. One definition of HSP is described as having hypersensitivity to external stimuli, a greater depth of cognitive processing, and high emotional reactivity.

How do you know if you are an HSP?

  • You become overwhelmed from too much stimulation.
  • You feel drained from emotionally charged situations.
  • You have sensitivity to loud noises, certain smells, or bright lights.
  • You are susceptible to feeling other people’s negative emotions in your body such as anger or stress.

For someone born with heightened sensitivities, your path to creating your dream life can be filled with ease, grace and flow OR it can be a hard journey of struggle, hard work and burnout.

Other signs of being an HSP include:

  • Patterns of behavior that you keep repeating over and over again that prevent you from having what you want.
  • Self-sabotaging success, or finding yourself procrastinating to take action towards a goal even when you have a viable plan.
  • Having a cycle of working really hard and burning out before you reach a goal.

When you are on the path of hard work and burnout, it means that you are subconsciously making decisions and taking actions based on your inner voice of fear and criticism. This voice of fear will alternately tell you to hold back and not take a chance and then tell you that you should be working harder. This leaves you feeling stuck, frustrated and depleted.

Here’s a simple exercise you can do to override this fear-based voice and instead listen to your empowering voice of confidence which will lead you on the path of ease and flow.

Think of someone you really admire and respect, and write down all the qualities you really love and respect about them. Then in detail describe how this person demonstrates the qualities you love about them. You will notice that the qualities that really resonate with you about the person you respect are the qualities people admire most about you and see in YOU.

Now close your eyes and feel these special qualities inside yourself. Think of all the evidence in how you demonstrate them into the world.  THESE special qualities ARE the key to how you get on the path of creating your dream life with ease and flow. When you are resonating the most beautiful qualities of your soul, you make decisions that are empowering and authentic.

If you are a highly sensitive person and want to know the simple four-step formula that creates your dream life with ease and flow, then please join my friend, HSP expert Debbie Lynn Grace, on November 9 for a complimentary webinar. To register, CLICK here.

 

Wishing you love, laughter & magical kisses,

Arielle

Don’t Blame the Victim

A big part of having success with the Law of Attraction is understanding that “thoughts are things” and that our feelings, thoughts, and beliefs help to co-create our reality. Other factors that also influence our lives include karma, divine timing, destiny, free will, and that omnipresent reality of “shit happens.”

When something really bad happens to someone – let’s say a serious diagnosis, losing a job, a big car crash, and then a supposedly well-meaning “spiritual friend” asks them, ” What thoughts were you having that would cause this?”…well, this scenario just makes me crazy.

We would never ask an abused toddler, “Hey kid, what thoughts did you have that created these beatings?”

So, unless someone is sitting around thinking, “Wow, wouldn’t it be cool if I manage to get stage 4 colon cancer so I can scare myself and my family and go on a multi-year journey to fight the cancer and maybe live?”

It’s highly unlikely any of us have consciously had that thought or any thought to choose a bad event. So, while it is true that we cause things with our thoughts, fears, and beliefs, it is also true that there are other factors that are at work here.

We all benefit from being more aware and more mindful of our thoughts and as much as possible, try to keep our thoughts positive, but it’s also not useful to “blame the victim,” and kick them when they’re down by suggesting they caused the problem.

We are not privy to their soul’s purpose and path. We don’t know what trials and tribulations they agreed to before incarnating in this lifetime, so let’s do what we signed up for: to be their friend, cheerleader, support system, safe place to land. Let’s hug them with our arms and provide emotional safety for them.

I often tell my closest friends that I am always there for them when they need a place to rant and rave and vent. I can create a safe place for their expression and then bring them back into a loving frequency (and they do the same for me).

Here’s to a kinder, gentler world of loving support for all.

Wishing you love, laughter & magical kisses,

Arielle

New, Fast, Fun Ways to MORE Pleasure, Less Stress

I don’t know about you, but lately, it seems that everyone I know is totally stressed out, not just from their own lives, but from the “frequency in the field” – hurricane disasters, political nightmares, money worries, illness, etc.

Even if you are safe, dry, and your life is peachy right now, chances are you are picking up on the energies of those around you.

It’s almost unavoidable.

This is why I’m such a big advocate for all of us to become daily “pleasure puppies” and find ways each day to consciously choose to reduce our stress levels and add more pleasure.

For women, this means doing things that build oxytocin (the cuddling/bonding hormone), and for men, this means ways to build testosterone.

I’ve been doing more research and here are some new ways to do both:

To rebuild oxytocin, ladies, try this:

  • Tell someone you love them.
  • Share a meal.
  • Pray and/or meditate.
  • Volunteer and donate to charity.
  • Cuddle your pets.
  • Get and give 8 hugs a day.
  • Share an adrenaline rush (roller coaster anyone?)
  • Get onto social media – YES – Facebook is good for you!

Men, to rebuild testosterone try this:

  • Exercise, especially weight lifting, and high-intensity interval training.
  • Play or watch your favorite sport on TV.
  • Do the Power Pose: Stand with legs shoulder-width apart. Put your hands into fists on your waist (Like Superman), tilt your chin up and look at the ceiling and for two solid minutes shout out empowering phrases such as: I am strong, I am courageous, I am powerful, I am energized, I am on purpose, etc.

And one activity that builds both oxytocin and testosterone is to have sex with someone you love!

Wishing you love, laughter and magical kisses,

Arielle

Louise Hay’s Mirror Work for more LOVE

It’s hard to imagine a world without Louise Hay in it…she transitioned last week on August 30th – exactly two years after her longtime friend Wayne Dyer passed.

 

For decades, I have admired Louise and looked up to her as my icon for spiritual growth, and aging gracefully and powerfully.

 

I loved her fierce courageousness, her willingness to do and say the right thing with the causes that called to her, and her brilliance, personal style and joie de vivre always inspired me.

 

Nearly 30 years go, I did her groundbreaking mirror work with her and it was a life changing day for me.

 

I remember sitting with Louise as she held a mirror in front of my face and told me to look into my own eyes and make a series of positive statements to myself including “I love you.”  It was hard because I really felt like I was lying to myself.  Somehow, I got through the process and then, as a daily practice, I did mirror work on my own, and learned to understand that not only did I really love myself, but that I was also lovable!

 

All of your self-talk, the dialogue in your head, is a stream of affirmations.

 

These affirmations are messages to your subconscious that are establishing habitual ways of thinking and behaving.

 

Positive affirmations plant healing thoughts and ideas that support you in developing self-confidence and self-esteem, and creating peace of mind and inner joy.

 

If you want to change your life, then it’s necessary to retrain your thinking and speaking into positive patterns. Mirror work, with its positive affirmations, opens the door. In essence, you are saying to your subconscious mind, “I am taking responsibility. I am aware that there is something I can do to change.” When you pay attention to your thoughts, you can begin to eliminate the ones creating experiences you do not want in your life.

 

Twice a day, stand in front of a mirror, look into your eyes, and repeat positive affirmations ten times. For instance, for self love you might say: “I want to like you. I want to really learn to love you. Let’s go for it and really have some fun.”

 

Then say: “I’m learning to really like you. I’m learning to really love you.

 

If doubts or fears or negative thoughts come up, just recognize them for what they are – old limiting beliefs that want to stay around. Say to them gently: “I no longer need you.”

 

And then repeat your positive affirmations again.

 

That which we constantly affirm becomes true for us.

 

Wishing you love, laughter, and magical kisses,

 Arielle

 

P.S. To learn how to do this from the master herself, LOUISE HAY, sign up for her Loving Yourself: 21 Days to Improved Self-Esteem Online Video Course to achieve the love, the prosperity, and the relationships you’ve been longing for.

Turning Cranky into Happy

I am not sure if it’s the eclipse energy from last week, or the constantly bad news on TV, or Mercury Retrograde, or what, but I have been feeling a bit cranky lately.

 

So, I have been digging deep into my spiritual tool-kit.

 

This morning, I added extra lavender to my bath, while doing rounds of  EFT tapping on “I’m cranky and I totally and completely love myself.”

 

On the way to the grocery store, I listened to one of my favorite spiritual teachers, which was uplifting, and I spent a long time cuddling on the back deck with my cat Max.

 

Then I remembered to do my daily “pleasure puppy” stuff (today it was a red velvet cupcake for dessert after a very healthy dinner) and I’ve been searching extra hard on Facebook for funny things to share (and found a bunch!).

 

Finally, I spent an hour coloring and now I feel like me again.

 

Happy. Satisfied. Content and optimistic.

 

I will probably never know why I was feeling cranky, and perhaps it isn’t necessary to know why.  Let’s suppose the reason is “eclipse energy.”  How does knowing that help me?  I don’t think it does.  What’s important is that I have the tools to cleanse and shift the energy in order to let it all go and return me to me.

 

I believe that my happiness is my personal responsibility and I am so grateful that over the years I have assembled an effective spiritual “tool kit.”

 

What’s in your “tool kit?”

 

Wishing you love, laughter, and magical kisses,

Arielle

 

P.S. FREE Online Seminar, “The 6 Love Codes” that work for conscious women to attract a high quality life-partner and create lasting love  Get Instant Access NOW!

Forgiveness: Essential For More Love

Maybe it’s just me, but when someone does something mean or upsetting (to me or anyone I know and love), I find getting to real forgiveness is super hard.

 

I just want to dig in and make them bad and wrong, and I find myself thinking of ways to get revenge.  And yes, I know better, and in spite of “not wanting to,” I do make myself forgive… even if it sometimes takes me a while to get there.

 

At its essence, forgiveness is the willingness to let go of the hurt and give up suffering.

 

It’s a decision to no longer find value in anger or blame and it’s a letting go of the desire to judge another or ourselves because of something that happened in the past.

 

It’s a choice to feel love rather than to judge or condemn, and it’s often not easy… and it doesn’t mean that we forget… but we do let go.

 

Forgiveness is something we do for ourselves so we no longer have to carry negativity.

 

It releases us from the past and allows us to heal and let go and be more at peace in the present moment.

 

When I am stuck in “I’ve been done wrong,” one of the practices that works well for me is to sit down and write a letter to the one I need to forgive. This is not a letter that will ever be sent, but a chance to write down and FULLY express how hurt and wronged I feel… to write down what happened from my perspective.

 

Once I’ve written it all down… I add to the end of the letter, “I forgive, you, I bless you and I set you free.”

 

Then, I write a second letter from them to me.  I actually channel them and have them tell ME the story of what happened from their perspective… which usually results in finding out that they never really meant to cause harm… and then, I end that letter with “I forgive, you, I bless you and I set you free.”

 

When it comes to love, I know that being able and willing to learn to forgive is essential to all healthy relationships.  And sometimes, it’s necessary to forgive and to also eliminate certain people from your life if they are toxic or detrimental to your core happiness.

 

Wishing you love & freedom,

 Arielle

 

Swearing – The surprising benefits!

I have potty mouth.

Somehow swearing, especially dropping “F-bombs,” makes me feel better and it seems whenever I watch cable news, I swear like a sailor.

Since I always like to find the “good” in everything, I’ve done some research to find out what’s “good” about cussing!

Researchers say there are plenty of ways that a good, salty swear word is good for your physical and emotional health.

Benefits include: increased circulation, elevated endorphins, and an overall sense of calm and well-being.

According to researcher Richard Stephens, of Keele University in England, swearing activates the “fight or flight” response, leading to a surge of adrenaline, which leads to a reduction in pain! Next time you stub your toe – shout a big “Oh F$#k” and see if it works for you.

It’s also been found that swearing gives us a greater sense of power and control over a bad situation and can boost our confidence.

Psycholinguists have remarked that “taboo words communicate emotional information more effectively than non-taboo words” and allow us to vent anger without getting physical.

Additionally, researchers found that to be true in office settings, where “witty uses of coarse, casual profanity” boosted morale and lowered stress among low-level workers.

And, a new study just released found something really fascinating: the more people swear, the more honest and fundamentally sincere they seem to be in their interactions with others.

In fact, a team of researchers from the Netherlands, the UK, the USA, and Hong Kong reports that people who use profanity are less likely to be associated with lying and deception.

Personally, my favorite swear words are “F$#K” and “MotherF$#ker.”

Somehow saying these words just gives me a big release and puts a smile on my face.

To offset any potential “bad” that might come from swearing, my amazing acupuncturist, Amorah Kelly, has taught me to end my sessions by “puffing out seeds of love to the world.” When I do this, I feel a shift in my body to a calmer, more centered place.

And just a bit of trivia to add to the mix:

Did you know that in the film The Wolf of Wall Street, the word F$#k was used 500 times? It was used as a noun, a verb, an adjective, an interjection, and an infix (that’s an affix inserted inside a word – as in, absof$#kinglutely).

Maybe the best advice comes from Mark Twain who said, “When angry, count to four; when very angry, swear.”

Wishing you love, laughter, and magical kisses,

Arielle

Learning to Love The Unlovable

Some people are easier to love than others.

It’s easy to love the people who love, support, and nurture you.

The ones that accept you for who you are.

The ones that will always be there for you.

And then there are the difficult ones.

The judgmental and sometimes downright mean ones.

The ones that drive you crazy and/or make you miserable or both!

I once heard Marianne Williamson describe it this way:

If you saw a small child fall down and skin their knee, you would quickly wrap your arms around them and give them comfort.  But when an adult is acting out and misbehaving or being cruel, we can’t see the wounds that are the source of their pain and actions.

Most of the time, whatever they are doing or saying, has little to do with you, they are acting out of old pain, disappointment, etc., and you have become the unfortunate victim of their history.

The challenge for me (and many of us) is that when these people are related to us, we need to find a way to stay open to loving and accepting them.

And most importantly, forgiving them.

Not an easy task.

One of my favorite processes in my spiritual tool kit, one that harnesses the power of forgiveness while being wonderfully healing, is called Ho’Oponopono.

It can be utilized not only for forgiveness, but all kinds of emotional healing and reconciliation.  I first learned about it from Joe Vitale and his book Zero Limits.

So, what is this miraculous thing, Ho’Oponopono?

It’s crazy easy and simple to do. You begin by taking full responsibility for what is going on.  Then, close your eyes and imagine that you and this difficult person are one and say to yourself:

I love you, please forgive me, I’m sorry, and thank you.

Ho’oponopono is based on the idea that anything that happens to you (or that you perceive) and the entire world where you live, is your own creation and thus, it is entirely your responsibility.

One hundred percent, no exceptions.

What has happened is your responsibility AND, it doesn’t mean it’s your fault – it just means that you are responsible for healing yourself in order to heal whatever or whoever it is that appears to you as a problem.

You simply repeat these four simple phases several times:

I love you, please forgive me, I’m sorry, and thank you.

I find that when I do this (sometimes I do it everyday), it really makes a difference.

Wishing you love, laughter and magical kisses,

Arielle