Navigating Chaos with Grace & Ease

My dear friend, the wise and beautiful Rev. Cynthia James, sent out a blog the other day filled with important and potent advice on dealing with the times we are in.

She has graciously given me permission to share this with you:

These last few months have been quite a ride. A pandemic, social unrest, and political upsets have created upset, division and emotional disturbance. It has been hard to keep up day to day with all of the changes.

I, personally, have had to find more ways to become clear, stay focused and stay still within myself. Quite frankly, I have had to learn how to navigate the chaos of these times.

Let me share what I mean by first beginning with definitions.

To Navigate: to move on, over, or through (water, air, or land) in a ship or aircraft; to manage or direct a course.

The word chaos derives from a Greek word meaning “chasm” or “void,” which makes sense, given that chaos also refers to the formless state of matter before the cosmos was created. It also means a state of utter confusion or disorder; a total lack of organization or order. any confused, or disorderly mass.

Many of my clients, worldwide, describe their current life situation as chaotic. People are working virtually. Homes are now combinations of workplace, home schooling, parenting, and family life.

People are experiencing depression from having no time or space for themselves. Children are going “stir-crazy” and young people are becoming rebellious. They simply want to get out, be with friends and connect. Single people are desperate to date and commune. Families are suffering from lack of in-person connection.

Some people call this the “nervous” factor. This means that people no longer have the luxury of a leisurely approach to life and/or business. Instead, chaotic conditions start their day and do not stop. Even while sleeping, people feel anxious and disturbed.

We are in a time of great transition. In childbirth, transition is the last phase and the most difficult phase of labor. Contractions intensify. It can be so powerful that some women begin to doubt their ability to birth the baby naturally and start requesting medications. Irritability and upset can also increase. Every woman has been told about this phase but when it is occurring, managing the pain and energy becomes hard.

I think humanity is experiencing the same thing. Everything is intensifying and many of us doubt our ability to navigate these uncharted waters. We know life changes. We know that we cannot predict the future. We also know that human beings don’t always deal with change easily. Even though we consciously know that… we have become anxious, intolerant, impatient, and even cranky.

So, what is the answer? How do we manage these times? I want to give you some tools.

Tools To Manage Chaos

  1. Get in touch with your INNER ADVISOR/INTUITIVE NATURE. Use the pathway of the body to lead you to your sanctuary. Simple meditation or breathing techniques can support.
  2. Find PEOPLE that are willing to hold you in love, and to support only the highest vision for your life. You do not want naysayers. You want people that have strong faith and can stand with you through trying times.
  3. Activate FAITH and AFFIRM the Truth of your life through the spoken word (i.e., I live in a safe Universe or No matter how I feel, in this moment, I am okay.) These simple statements can create powerful shifts.
  4. Invite LOVE in (even virtually) -. Texts, zoom, emails, and phone calls make a difference.
  5. Tell the TRUTH about your fears, doubts and challenges. You cannot run; they will chase you. Sometimes you have to think about or write your feelings before expressing them. However, you do it is fine. Just do it! You do not want to carry that energy in your body. Get a counselor, coach or therapist if needed.
  6. RELEASE rage and anger. – Writing or journaling is a powerful tool. James W. Pennebaker, author and professor, did a lot of research on the power to heal through writing. Studies show that when individuals write about emotional experiences, significant physical and mental health improvements follow.
  7. OBSERVE your resistance. This energy is a messenger. PAUSE. What are you afraid of? What dream or person are you running from? What do you need to move into a more powerful way of being? What support what really support you in this moment?
  8. Practice FORGIVENESS of your thoughts, feelings and projections. Holding on to people and events does not support you. Take some time to release the judgements of yourself and others. Then, claim and proclaim what you desire.
  9. FALL IN LOVE WITH YOURSELF (acknowledge and embrace where you are on the path and your wins). Do loving things to and for yourself daily. You matter.
  10. MOVE YOUR BODY. Ask it what it needs. Move, run, swim, walk, bike, or hike. Movement is medicine and will support you releasing unwanted energy.

I have found her advice to be very useful and if you would like even more from her, Cynthia is offering all of you 30 days of free access to her Possibility Portal for women.

Be sure to check it out!

Wishing you love, laughter and magical kisses,

Arielle

Watching Barbra Streisand on Oprah Changed My Love Life

One evening in November 1996, I turned on my VHS (remember that?) to watch a taped episode of The Oprah Show.

Her special guest was Barbra Streisand who was glowing and giddy as she discussed her tall, dark and handsome fiancé, actor James Brolin.

Back then, I lived in Beverly Hills, and the dish around tinsel town was that La Streisand was a very difficult diva and a recluse as well.

While watching her exuding love and happiness about her engagement, I had a mind-blowing light bulb moment:

“Barbra’s 54 and I’m 43 and I’m not a recluse or a diva,” I thought. “If God has the perfect man for her, then I’m going to be a piece of cake.”

I mean really, how many perfect matches could there be for someone like her?

One week earlier I had been on a bad date with a guy who said to me while discussing my successful business:

“I’ll bet you scare the shit out of most men.”

OMG!!! I knew I was strong and powerful and now he was confirming my biggest fear: that I was too old, too intimidating and too successful to find my ideal soulmate.

My Streisand/Oprah light bulb moment” totally shifted my mindset and I put myself into a state of knowing and trusting that not only was my perfect someone was out there, I was going to manifest him!

So, I created a program for myself and, within a year, I was engaged to my amazing soulmate, Brian, and we have now been happily married for 22 years.

And, then I shared my program with other single, successful women and it worked for them too.

It turns out that I have a superpower when it comes to manifesting love, not just for me, but for women (and men) of all ages and sizes in 40 countries around the world.

I have literally guided tens of thousands of people into the arms of their beloved.

After months of being in lockdown and hearing from so many single women about how lonely they have been, I realized that Covid does not have to get in the way of finding love.

In fact, when I really thought deeply about it, I realized that Covid actually makes it easier and faster to find love (if you know how to do it).

Now, I know this sounds counter-intuitive, perhaps it even sounds crazy, but it’s absolutely true.

And I’ve already witnessed how well this approach works! (It just worked for one friend who is divorced three times and is now age 72).

So, I’ve decided to clear my schedule and dedicate all of my teaching time for the next year to working one-on-one with a dozen women who are committed to manifesting their soulmate/life partner.

I’m inviting you to immerse yourself with me for 9 months where I will put you on the fast track to your dream love life.

Find out all about this never before offered opportunity here.

In 9 months you can manifest that special someone who is your devoted partner, your lover, your best friend, and your safe place to land.

It’s easier and more fun than you can possibly imagine when you have the right guide (me!) walking you, step by step, through the process.

I only have 12 places in this new program and I’m looking for women who are ready for a miracle in their love life, women who are ready to create 100% success and happiness in love.

Does that sound like you?

If the answer is yes, I may select you to be one of the women I take under my wing in my NEW, exclusive, 9-month one-on-one mentoring program.

Apply Now: The Soulmate Secret Mentoring Program

This is the first time ever I’m offering my private mentoring program and it may be the only time I do this where I can devote this amount of time to personally sharing this information.

And the best part is, we can get started right away.

Acceptance to this program is by application only, and I’m looking for heart-centered women who are committed to creating a more extraordinary and fulfilling life in addition to meeting their soulmate.

If you’re ready to learn my secrets to manifesting and creating a miraculous love life, you’ll want to apply right away as this program is limited to 12 women only.

We will be scheduling the interviews in the next few days.

Apply now For Your Soulmate Secret Mentoring Program.

I can’t wait to hear from you, and I look forward to guiding you to your miraculous love life.

Wishing you love, laughter and magical kisses,

Arielle

p.s. I’m not sure when I’ll ever be able to offer this exclusive one-on-one 9 month mentoring program again. If it’s something you are called to do, I encourage you to put your application in right away, as we’re expecting many more applicants than we’ll be able to accept.

Get all the details and apply now.

Is the Universe Friendly?

You probably already know that Albert Einstein, who won a Nobel Prize for Physics, and was famous for his theory of relativity, which revolutionized our understanding of space, time, gravity, and the Universe, was a genius. But did you also know he was quite the philosopher?

Einstein wrote that the most important question facing humanity is, ‘Is the Universe a friendly place?’

He explained that, “ if we decide that the Universe is an unfriendly place, then we will use our technology, our scientific discoveries and our natural resources to achieve safety and power by creating bigger walls to keep out the unfriendliness and bigger weapons to destroy all that is unfriendly and I believe that we are getting to a place where technology is powerful enough that we may either completely isolate or destroy ourselves as well in this process.”

Einstein went on to say: “If we decide that the Universe is neither friendly nor unfriendly and that God is essentially ‘playing dice with the universe’, then we are simply victims to the random toss of the dice and our lives have no real purpose or meaning.”

“But if we decide that the Universe is a friendly place, then we will use our technology, our scientific discoveries and our natural resources to create tools and models for understanding the Universe. Because power and safety will come through understanding its workings and its motives.”

So, if like me, you choose to believe that we live in a friendly Universe, in these super crazy times, it requires a recipe of emotional management as well as being able to surf the waves of uncertainty. It requires that we be with “not knowing,” and most importantly, trust that good things are happening (on both the seen and the unseen plane). Not an easy task, but when the going gets tough, just remember Einstein’s conclusion:

“God does not play dice with the Universe.”

Wishing you love and laughter,

Arielle

I don’t care how spiritual you are

Do you want to know what makes me swoon?

Beautiful, insightful, profound writing.

I recently discovered this essay on Facebook, written by Taylor Rose Godfrey and have gotten her permission to share it with all of you. She really dives deep into the heart of true spirituality.

“I don’t care how spiritual you are. How long you can melt in the sweat lodge. How many peyote journeys that have blown your mind, or how well you can hold crow pose. Honestly. I don’t. I don’t care what planets fall in what houses on your birth chart, how many crystals you have or how vegan your diet is.

I want to know how human you are. Can you sit at the feet of the dying despite the discomfort? Can you be with your grief, or mine, without trying to advise, fix or maintain it? I want to know that you can show up at the table no matter how shiny, chakra- aligned or complete you are- or not. Can you hold loving space for your beloved in the depths of your own healing without trying to be big?

It doesn’t flatter me how many online healing trainings you have, that you live in the desert or in a log cabin, or that you’ve mastered the art of tantra.

What turns me on is busy hands. Planting roots. That despite how tired you are, you make that phone call, you board that plane, you love your children, you feed your family.

I have no interest in how well you can ascend to 5D, astral travel or have out of body sex. I want to see how beautifully you integrate into ordinary reality with your unique magic, how you find beauty and gratitude in what’s surrounding you, and how present you can be in your relationships.

I want to know that you can show up and do the hard and holy things on this gorgeously messy Earth. I want to see that you can be sincere, grounded and compassionate as equally as you are empowered, fiery and magnetic. I want to know that even during your achievements, you can step back and be humble enough to still be a student.

What’s beautiful and sexy and authentic is how well you can continue to celebrate others no matter how advanced you’ve become. What’s truly flattering is how much you can give despite how full you’ve made yourself. What’s honestly valuable is how better of a human you can be, in a world that is high off of spiritual materialism and jumping the next escape goat for “freedom.”

At the end of the day I don’t care how brave you are. How productive, how popular, how enlightened you are. At the end of the day, I want to know that you were kind. That you were real. I want to know that you can step down from the pedestal from time to time to kiss the earth and let your hair get dirty and your feet get muddy, and join the dance with us all.”

Let’s be more like this. Let’s be kind, and humble and seek to find beauty and gratitude in the messy world around us. Thanks Taylor.

Wishing you love and laughter,

Arielle

Being With What Is

We are now a full six months into living with the Corona pandemic.

For me, and most everyone I know, it’s been a very bumpy ride.

It’s kind of like white-water river rafting. Periods of smooth tranquil waters followed by occasional terrifying rapids where I’m holding on tight, hoping not to capsize.

There’s no map. We don’t know when or where the river ends.

Nobody does.

No one.

There are people who speculate. (and some crazy people who promise a return to normal is minutes away) but No. One. Knows.

Now, for me the question is, “How do I best enjoy the ride?’

It’s a constant, daily, sometimes minute by minute endeavor.

I find solace in the people and things I can count on. I have so much gratitude and appreciation for those that share my view of the world. There is a level of comfort and safety knowing that we are there for each other.

So, this is what IS right now.

And my plan is too have as much fun as possible in whatever way are safe and possible as well as giving myself the space to be royally pissed off from time to time.

Wishing you love and laughter,

Arielle

Sitting Shiva for America

I woke up this morning feeling a sense of great loss, loss for so many things…the loss of civility in our country, the loss of life from Covid, and cancer, and guns, and innocent black men and women being killed, innocent protesters being gunned down, the violence in our streets.

The seemingly impossible divide between left and right.

The loss of stability and security.

The loss of freedom to hug our friends, and so much more.

Later, when I looked at my Facebook feed I found more loss.

Friends mourning the loss of loved ones, beloved pets, careers that were once promising that have disappeared.

Grief. Mourning. Fear. Uncertainty.

On my walk this afternoon it came to me that as a Jew I might want to try sitting Shiva.

In the Jewish tradition when someone dies, after the burial, you go home and for seven days, your friends and family come and sit with you to remember and to mourn the dead.

You cover your mirrors, light candles, and in lieu of flowers, most bring a dish of Jewish comfort food.

We reminisce, remember and recapture memories of a loved one.

Surprisingly, there is often laughter as you recall the fun and zany things your dead loved one did or said. It really helps.

And, if there are ten Jews present, then each day the Mourners Kaddish is chanted.

In my own virtual version of sitting Shiva, in this time of lockdown and Covid, I won’t be with nine other Jews, so I’ve asked my dear friend, Liana Chaouli, to make this short video to use as a daily prayer to connect with our collective grief and loss. It is also a prayer for peace.

Whether you are Buddhist, Hindu, Christian, Muslim, Pagan or a non-believer, if you are experiencing grief for someone or the current state of the world, may this video be a balm for your soul.

Below is the video:

Wishing you love and laughter,

Arielle

“The reality is you will grieve forever. You will not get over the loss of a loved one; you will learn to live with it. You will heal and you will rebuild yourself around the loss you have suffered. You will be whole again, but you will never be the same again. Nor should you be the same, nor should you ever want to.”

~Elizabeth Kubler-Ross

Relationship Role Modeling from the Obamas

Sixteen years ago Barack and Michelle Obama’s marriage was about to crumble.

Michelle told her mother she wasn’t sure their marriage would survive.

Barack told his grandmother that Michelle’s constant nagging was driving him crazy.

They were drowning in debt from the Ivy League law school loans.

Michelle was the major breadwinner with her high profile, corporate job and two young girls to care for and she felt fat, unseen and unheard.

With Barack’s busy travel schedule, they barely had any family time. And she was tired of picking up after him.

One morning Michelle woke up at 5am. Barack was gently snoring next to her. All she could think about was getting out of bed and going to the gym….it had been months! Part of her resisted going….the girls would soon be up and would need to fed….but the other part of her thought, Barack’s a smart guy, he’ll figure out how to feed them.

Once she arrived at the gym she got on the stairmaster and quickly had a Wabi Sabi epiphany.

She realized she had been WAITING for Barack to make her happy.

BUT, she now saw that it was up to her, to make herself happy.

When she got home, she found Barak and the girls at the breakfast table were she announced the NEW RULES of the Obama household.

First, she was finally going to take her mother’s offer to begin helping out with caring the kids.

Second, every night that Barack was in town, the whole family would eat dinner together at 6:30.

Third, Sundays are family day. No exceptions.

And finally, a weekly date night would be put on the calendar.

Today, as we all know, The Obama’s have a fabulous relationship and they and Michelle’s mom, were all happy together in the White House for eight years. They will soon celebrate their 28th anniversary.

By taking personal responsibility for your own happiness and making space for your partner to be who and what they are, magic can and often does happen. It’s when we are blaming and shaming that no progress can be made.

Wabi Sabi Love offers ways to turn conflict into compassion and create a more loving relationship…..with yourself and your partner.

The simple act of being WILLING to find the beauty and perfection in our own imperfections and especially the imperfections, quirks and weirdness of our partners, that is the essence of Wabi Sabi Love.

Discover how to add some Wabi Sabi Love to your relationships.

Wishing you love, laughter & magical kisses,

Arielle

The Alchemy of Tragedy

I wasn’t born an optimist.

In fact… quite the opposite.

I was a moody, sullen, often seriously depressed child and young adult.

One night, at age 26, I decided that I was going to find the secret of happiness.

I was at a party in Coconut Grove, Florida, at the waterfront home of a millionaire, surrounded by people seemingly having a great time. I felt like such an outsider amidst the laughing, smiling party-goers. I had never felt so alone.

I wanted to have a great time, I just didn’t know how.

I thought it was something that just “happened” to lucky people.

In that moment, as I stood on the dock overlooking beautiful Biscayne Bay, I promised myself that I would do whatever it took to discover the secret to happiness.

During the next several years I went to therapy, read a lot of books, attended workshops and discovered that most of the time happiness is a choice. Even when really bad stuff is happening!

I found out that I am an HSP – a highly sensitive person and essentially very shy. I had to break through my fear of people and really make an effort to learn how to connect, make small talk, and allow myself to “be seen.”

It wasn’t easy but on a deep intuitive level I knew that in order to live, I had to be willing to do what the amazing Dr. Susan Jeffers advised, “feel the fear and do it anyway.”

And eventually I radically evolved into a happy, outgoing, optimist.

On a soul level I discovered that I could source my own happiness, in spite of the circumstances.

I now believe that I live in a friendly Universe.

During the past five months of Pandemic lockdown, I really have had to dig deep to recoup my core happiness.

Part of my process has been to give myself permission to say no to everyone and everything that I didn’t have the energy for. (which was nearly everyone and everything).
Even though I had been brought up to believe that it’s selfish to think of yourself first, it became clear to me that my survival depended on my ability to give myself a new and deep level of love and selfcare.

And then, slowly, I began to notice, moments of joy popping up.

  • I found the ability to smile and laugh again.
  • I discovered I was having more moments of ok’ness than not.
  • And, I made major changes in the way I “do” life.

I started resting much more and only making plans a few hours at a time. I gave up thinking (or worrying) about the future (or about the past and what I no longer could do).

Not only am I happy again, I am physically restored, and the Universe sends me near-daily signs that I am on the right track. My creative projects are flowing, ideas appear like gifts from the heavens and I mostly feel peaceful.

While I could say this has been a very difficult time in my life, in many unexpected ways it has also been surprisingly good.

How is this possible?

Because the positive lifestyle changes that I’ve made, will impact the rest of my life and most likely wouldn’t have happened without the loss of my former “normal” lifestyle.

These times have helped me find “gold” during this collective dark night of the soul. Many of these tried and true maxims seem to be coming true:

  • There is always a silver lining.
  • Make lemonade out of lemons.
  • There’s a pony in here somewhere (when the room you are in is full of manure).
  • Have an attitude of gratitude.
  • When one door closes, another opens.
  • This is a blessing in disguise.

Where have you found “gold” in the world as we currently know it?

Wishing you love, laughter & magical kisses,

Arielle

26 pounds, a muffin top, and true happiness…

Thirty-six years ago I was obsessed with the ambition to attain physical perfection.

I had this idea that if I could weigh a certain amount, have my measurements be an exact number, have my hair the best length and all ten of fingernails “long” at the same time, I would be perfect and with that perfectly happy.

I spent a year working out two hours a day lifting weights, running, doing sit-ups and squats. I carefully measured and tracked everything I ate, and I weighed myself daily (ok, multiple times a day).

And, then one day it happened. I got up, stood on the scale, took out my measuring tape and voila – perfection had been reached. For a few moments I was in bliss. 

This occurred while I was at Club Med in the Bahamas on a vacation by myself. (I had recently broken up with my boyfriend.) It was only Day Two of my holiday and I didn’t have anyone to share my “good news” with.

I realized that I couldn’t just walk up to strangers and tell them, “Hey – look at me, I’m perfect!”

I quickly sank into a bit of a depression as I realized I had just spent a year chasing a dream that wasn’t fulfilling me…
The gift of all of this was that I stopped the insanity of restricting myself on so many levels. I quit measuring my food and counting calories.

I decided to exercise a more reasonable five times a week for an hour, and most importantly, I no longer looked to the scale to tell me how I would feel about my body.

A few years later, I discovered the ancient Japanese aesthetic of Wabi Sabi which seeks to find beauty and perfection in imperfection.

Slowly, I began to let go of my notions of perfection (in all areas of my life) and find fun ways to reframe the things I formerly judged about myself. I declared myself a Wabi Sabi Artisan.

Rather than beat myself up over my less-than-ideal spelling skills, I embraced “typos.”

I found humorous ways to forgive myself for having a bad memory and forgetting names.

I forewarned my dining companions that my food was likely to spill into my lap and possibly get onto theirs!

Over the past few years I have developed a “muffin-top.”

It’s that extra roll of fat that pops up over my jeans at the waistline. Each time I notice it, I have this thought, “oh no, it’s time to go on a diet!” But, of course, I never do start that diet.

I finally decided it’s time to stop judging and hating my muffin top and I asked the wiser, Wabi Sabi artisan part of me to find the beauty and perfection in it instead.

Here’s what she said:

“Your adorable muffin top is proof of your fabulous life. You are happy, satisfied and content and you get to eat delicious, nourishing food. Your muffin top surrounds you with an extra layer of protection should you get stranded in a desert with no food for a week. Your muffin top is a daily reminder that life is to be lived and enjoyed and that eating is one of life’s great pleasures that peaks all of your senses so hurray for the muffin top!”
So for those of you who also have a “muffin-top” share with me what you are learning to love about yours!

Today, 26 pounds heavier than the other photo but a million times happier, I happily embrace imperfection.

If you want more Wabi Sabi visit: www.arielleford.com/wabisabilove/gifts/

Wishing you love, laughter and magical kisses,

Arielle

Making Room For Surprises & Miracles

There once was a woman who saw on TV that her neighborhood was about to be flooded and the officials said everyone should evacuate.

She believed that God would save her, and she ignored the warning.

Then a city worker knocked on her door and told her to leave for higher ground and she said no, “God will save me.”

Then the floods came, and she had to run up to the second floor to stay dry.

A boat soon came to her second story window to rescue her and she said no, “God will save me.”

The water then filled the third floor and she ended up on the roof of her home.

A helicopter came and she said no, “God will save me.”

She was soon swept away by the rising water and drowned.

When she got to heaven she yelled at God and said, “why didn’t you save me?”

God said, “I sent you a warning on TV, a warning to your front door, a rescue boat and a helicopter, why didn’t you listen?”

I share this story with you today because I often see people, in their manifesting process, focused on a very specific outcome, not knowing whether or not that outcome will save them or really make them happy. It’s important to remember that our ultimate goal is happiness and satisfaction and allow room for surprises and even miracles to occur.

We must stay open to signs, symbols, and helpful people that cross our path.

The road to manifestation is not always a straight line, and in the end, we may manifest something unexpected but much more fulfilling.

Make room for surprises, and miracles.

Wishing you love, laughter and magical kisses,

Arielle