Love, Attraction, & Gray Hair!

Gray hair getting you down?

Here’s some science based good news!

Whether you are dating or partnered, according to a joint study between psychologists from the University of St. Andrews and the University of Liverpool, a more mature appearance is exactly what some men find the most attractive. (“Mature” is code for gray hair in this instance.)

The study looked at how likely men (and women) are to be attracted to certain hair and eye color in their chosen partners, and they found that for men, the best indicator of preferences was the hair and eye color of their mothers. When nearly 700 volunteer participants (including 394 men) were asked about the hair and eye color of themselves, their parents, and their partners, they found that overwhelmingly, men were attracted to the same coloring that their mothers had.

The study found that “healthy” hair is more important than hair color unless you have an unnatural color in your hair, in which case it works against you.

I love this photo of my friends Alice and Stephen Josephs. Alice went gray in her forties and Stephen was just fine with that (his Mom was gray by her fifties.) From the first time I met Alice, I have envied her gorgeous gray hair and her loving and exuberant personality.Alice and Stephen Josephs

For more than twenty years, I have been coloring my hair every two weeks trying to stave off the fact that underneath, my hair is gray. Even though Brian has been encouraging me to go gray forever (his Mom was gray in her early forties), I have been resistant. No more. I have finally decided to go for it (and if I don’t like it, I can always revert back to hair coloring.)

As soon as I accomplish this transformation, I promise to post some photos of my new “mature” look. Fingers crossed!

FREE – Release Fear, Stress, Anxiety, Starts TODAY!

For the past 15 years I have been utilizing The Sedona Method release technique for everything from frustration, anger, fear, anxiety, to negative thinking, and even hypoglycemia symptoms. It’s super fast and very easy and I swear to you it really, really works!

For the next three days, starting TODAY, you can access The Sedona Method for FREE. You won’t have to buy a thing to get the process, and there are no strings attached.

It helps you let go of uncomfortable emotions, right on the spot, without getting stuck in them or having to figure out why you even have them.

Click here to get your 3 day pass!

The Everything Book

When I first got married there were many days when I wished that Brian came with an Owner’s Manual! There seemed to be so many things I didn’t know about him and things he had told me but I had “forgotten,” and I knew if I had an owner’s manual, life together would be so much easier (and more fun!).

This is why I wrote The Everything Book: The Essential Details About The One You Love.

It’s a “fill in the blank” book to complete and share with your partner. It is designed to capture the essential details about the one you love. And, it’s a fun and playful way to communicate with your partner exactly what will make you happy!

Whether you’ve been together three months or thirty years (or more!), there is always more to learn about the one you love. Unless you have a photographic memory, it’s hard to remember all the facts, as well as the little details that make someone feel special.

Wishing you love, laughter and magical kisses,

Arielle

*To read more on the study cited above and discover ALL the things men find attractive in women click here!

Making Yourself Happy (or happier!)

Making Yourself Happy (or happier!)
Want the insider tips on what the happiest people in the world do to live long, healthy, and HAPPY lives?
Dan Buettner, an explorer, National Geographic Fellow, award-winning journalist and New York Times bestselling author has written The Blue Zones of Happiness
His book is based on happiness you can actually measure. The first kind of happiness is determined by asking people to rate their life satisfaction level on a scale of 1 to 10. The second kind of happiness is purpose, and it’s measured by people rating how engaged they are with their lives, and if they’re doing meaningful things every day. The third measurement is how much people enjoy their lives on a day -to-day or moment-to-moment basis. That’s determined by asking people to remember their last 24 hours and report how many times they felt joy, laughed, or smiled.

Where do the happiest people live? According to Buettner:

Singapore is the happiest country in Asia, and it epitomizes the kind of happiness that comes from life satisfaction. People there like a clear and easy path to success, and they don’t mind working hard. They prefer security over freedom, and they want to live out largely conservative values.

People experience life the best in Costa Rica. It’s green, there’s easy access to nature, and there’s a feeling of equality as everybody has their basic needs covered. They prioritize social interaction, and they will almost never work extra hours if it means they have to forego a good party. They also prioritize family — Sunday afternoons are spent with family and big long lunches. They are also religious, and research shows that religious/spiritual people are happier.

In Denmark, people live with more purpose than anywhere else. All their health care, social security, and education is covered. They have almost all their daily needs taken care of, so they don’t need to “keep up with the Joneses.” This pushes people into careers they love. The Danes work 37 hours a week, belong to clubs, and are able to pursue their passions and use their strengths.

Can Money Buy You Happiness? Yes and No.

Buettner says that millionaires are generally happier than people who make $30,000 a year. But earning $75,000 is about the cap. If you make more than that, then your day-to-day experience doesn’t get any better — you just have more stuff. This 75k marker is an average and is also on a sliding scale based on where you live.

Can you control your level of happiness? Dan says:

When we breakdown how much control we have over our own happiness:

  • 40 percent is dictated by genes
  • 15 percent is determined by luck (chronic illnesses like clinical depression and chronic pain will obviously take a toll on happiness)
  • 40-50 percent is determined by the individual

That means we have a lot of influence over our own happiness.

Things to do:

Your happiness will go up 15 percent if you make a new happy friend. Also, volunteer, even if you think you don’t have the time. People who find meaningful ways to give back are happier. Also, do your best to always sleep 7.5 hours a night. People who sleep 6 hours a night are 30 percent less happy than people who sleep more.

Learn more secrets of the world’s happiest people and places in The Blue Zones of Happiness.

Wishing you love, laughter and magical kisses,
Arielle
p.s. Thanks to mindbodygreen.com for inspiring this blog.
When I first got married there were many days when I wished that Brian came with an Owner’s Manual! There seemed to be so many things I didn’t know about him and things he had told me but I had “forgotten,” and I knew if I had an owner’s manual, life together would be so much easier (and more fun!).

This is why I wrote The Everything Book: The Essential Details About The One You Love.

It’s a “fill in the blank” book to complete and share with your partner. It is designed to capture the essential details about the one you love. And, it’s a fun and playful way to communicate with your partner exactly what will make you happy!

The Everything Book is for you if:
  • You want a happier, more satisfying intimate relationship
  • You are committed to making your beloved’s dreams come true
  • You need an easy reference book on your partners history and dreams to their favorite everything from colors, sizes, gifts, bucket list items, etc.
  • You need ways to help your partner when they are struggling
Whether you’ve been together three months or thirty years (or more!), there is always more to learn about the one you love. Unless you have a photographic memory, it’s hard to remember all the facts, as well as the little details that make someone feel special.

Celebrate A Soulful 4th of July

Happy Summer! This is my favorite time of year…I love the
warm weather, the long days, and spectacular sunsets.

Not to mention the BBQ’s, juicy array of peaches,
plums, and golden
cherries to eat!

Are you ready to create some fun on the 4th of July?

If you don’t already have plans, here are a few ideas to consider:

  • Create a pot-luck soiree at your home or at a local park where you can see fireworks.
  • Invite your favorite friends over for a movie marathon. I recently watched a Warren Beatty film from 30 years ago, Heaven Can Wait, totally fun & delightful.
  • Take a fun friend or niece to the mall and pick out great “hot-date” outfits for each other — try on things you would never normally reach for and see what happens!
  • Ladies, host a min-spa party where you do mani/pedi’s with outlandish colors.
  • Be adventurous and go to a singles meet-up – nearly every city has them. You can always take a friend with you.
  • If “fitness” is your thing and you want to find fun folks to go hiking, biking, weight-lifting, canoeing, kayaking, diving with and more, check out this site…they have lots of locations http://www.fitness-singles.com/

I want to encourage you to get outside your comfort zone and generate some opportunities to meet new people. Your soulmate could be just one new friend away!

And, most importantly, take a little time to have gratitude for all the FREEDOM you have in your life.

 

Ready for Summer LOVE?

 

Summer has just begun and if you don’t want to spend it alone, we can fast track you on your road to love!

Dr. Claire Zammit, founder of Feminine Power & bestselling author and I have developed a break-through approach that especially works for conscious, gifted women to attract an extraordinary partner and create happy, fulfilling and lasting love.

In our FREE 90 minute webinar we share:

    • How and why to make finding love a priority in your life
    • Why you need to give up magical thinking when it comes to love
    • Ways to let go of your old limited thinking stories about love.
    • How to achieve clarity on what your soul is most calling for
    • How to determine who you area most compatible with
    • The best way to determine your “must haves” and deal breakers
    • Ways to consciously and immediately lift your love frequency
    • How the Law of Attraction REALLY works to powerfully manifest a soulmate
    • The easy to learn super skills of dating and MORE!

Bestselling author Dr. John Gray has called Claire & Arielle the “go-to” experts in this field. They’ve created extraordinary marriages themselves and helped thousands of women do the same.

Conscious women rave about our approach:

“Thanks to Claire and Arielle not only have I found ‘a man,’ I found The Man.” —Diely

“I just got engaged! Your wisdom made a huge difference.” —Barbara

Now it’s your turn!

The Husband Super Store

I once heard a story called Shopping for the Perfect Husband. The tale is set in the “Perfect Husband” super store, a five-story building where women go to find their perfect match.

On each of the five floors there are men with various qualities. The main rule was that once you reached any given floor, you had to select a man from that floor. If you didn’t, you could go to the next floor, not knowing for sure what you would find. The trick was that you couldn’t return to a lower floor unless you planned to leave the store husband-less.

Marianne and Joan, lifelong best friends, set off to find Mr. Soulmate. On the first floor there was a small sign that read:

“These guys love children and have good jobs.”

Joan thought that was great, but she was also curious to see what was on the second floor.
Marianne followed her up the escalator where they found a somewhat larger sign that said:

“These guys are super handsome, love children and have great jobs.”

Marianne exclaimed with delight: “Wow! Exactly what I need. Let’s take a look around.”

But, Joan said, “No, let’s go up another level and see what’s there.” Marianne followed Joan with slight reluctance.

On the third floor, the two women were astonished to find another larger sign. This time it read:

“These guys are not only super handsome, love children and have great jobs, but they are also happy to help with housework!”

Marianne’s jaw dropped. Her excitement level grew, but she could see that Joan was even more curious to see what was possible on the fourth floor.

Up the escalator they went where they encountered a slightly larger sign that virtually screamed out at them:

“Our fourth floor husbands are super handsome, love children, have great jobs, enjoy helping with housework and are great in bed!”

They were on a roll now.

Nothing could stop them. Convinced that the fifth floor would offer even better husband options, Marianne and Joan confidently took the escalator to the final floor. There they found a tiny, torn sign that read:

“This floor offers proof that women are impossible to please.”

Sometimes, in our quest for perfection, we miss out on what will make us happy…..

Wishing you love, laughter and magical kisses,

Arielle

Snuggling for Long Lasting Love

For my podcast, BIG LOVE, I just interviewed Dr. Helen Fisher, one of the world’s leading researchers on love and the brain. She is a Senior Research Fellow at the Kinsey Institute and Chief Scientific advisor to Match.com, plus she has written six bestsellers on romantic love and sex.

Dr. Fisher uses MRI’s to actually see into the brains of couples and observe if they are still in love, or not, by the way the brain lights up.

One of the most fascinating things she discovered is that the state of “being in love” can actually last a lifetime and she has the science to prove it. (in the podcast, she explains how and why).

Staying in love requires some active practices including doing novel things together, planned sex (don’t wait to be spontaneous or in the mood), and one of my favorites, snuggling!

According to Dr. Fisher we should watch TV and movies together on a couch large enough for two so that we are embracing.

“When we’re touched by a romantic partner, we experience a surge in the hormone oxytocin, often called the “love hormone,” in the brain, which helps to sustain feelings of deep attachment. Walk arm in arm, hold hands, put your foot gently on top of the other person’s under the table, or learn to sleep in the other person’s arms, advises Dr. Fisher. “We’ve evolved all kinds of brain mechanisms to fall madly in love and stay in love,” she says, and touch is high among them.”

Wishing you love, laughter and magical kisses,

Arielle

Love Yourself Most

My amazing friend, Sheri Salata, is a deep, loving, soulful woman who had the career of her dreams for 21 years including titles as Executive Producer of the Oprah Show and co-CEO of OWN network. When she decided to move on and “produce” her own life she was one hundred pounds overweight, no man in site, and nearly 57 years old. Today her book, The Beautiful No, arrives in stores, and I’ve invited her to be a guest blogger on the topic of

What I Know About Love.

Let me cut to the chase.

I never really internalized the wisdom” you’ve gotta love yourself first and then”. I would nod my head in agreement, but it didn’t land in my bones.

It sounded right and I would pay it lip service but that was about it. And I think I was not alone. There are a whole bunch of us who, when being really honest, are puzzled by the concept. What does it mean to love ourselves first? What kind of love is it?

For decades and decades, I waited to be anointed by the love of my soulmate. His desire for me, his delight in the way I move through the world, his interest in the words I utter, his declaration of my physical beauty. The kind of devotion that would deem me lovable. And once I took my place on that lovable podium, I would find it a snap to “love myself”. I moved through the world and through failed attempts at soulmate love with those shadow beliefs driving my every move.

But not too long ago, I was flipping through Insta when I saw post that stopped me cold. It said “Love yourself first. Love yourself most.”

Love yourself MOST. What a powerful shift in perspective. If I decided that there would be no one else on earth EVER who would treasure and cherish me more than ME, the unrequited “search” would be over. I would have found not only the love of my life but the love of my dreams. The kind of love that walks beside me through everything. Then I could partner with my soulmate man and just love him, no strings attached. I would bring my worthiness, my overflowing love cup, my healed self, my whole self to a commingling of equals who share the love that they have created inside of them with each other. Who don’t need, require, or demand that the other be anything but who they are. Who don’t need, require, or demand that the other make them feel lovable.

That’s what I want now. It’s a far different love dream than the one I had when I was a young woman. It’s deeper, richer and truer. And in my grasp this very instant even when the partner of my dreams is on his energetic way and not right in front of me.

True love. The truest love.

Sheri’s book and message, “The Beautiful No,” is for all of us …single, partnered, or somewhere in between.       
Reading it is like having the juiciest lunch ever with a new, wise, dear friend!

Wishing you love, laughter and magical kisses,

Arielle

Happy Money and LOVE

You may already know this…. the #1 source of conflict in marriages and the biggest cause of divorce is money.

Why?

According to my dear friend, Ken Honda, author of Happy Money: The Japanese Art of Making Peace with Your Money, it doesn’t have to be this way.

Ken is a bestselling author (over 7 million books sold around the world!) who has spent years helping the people of Japan heal their relationships with money and become more abundant and peaceful.

Why is money such a big issue in relationships?

According to Ken it’s as if you & your beloved grew up in different countries when it comes to how to handle money.

Universally there is almost always a “spender” and a “saver” with every couple and that leads to making your partner bad and wrong because they do money differently than you do.

Fortunately, he has solutions to bring happiness and harmony to the family finances.

One of the fascinating things I have learned from Ken is that some money “smiles” while other money “cries!” There really is such a thing as Happy Money.

In his book he explains how to have a Happy Money mindset, how to cultivate a loving relationship with money, and why spending money on good food, art and luxury items will make you more abundant.

If you would like to have Happy Money, click here.

Wishing you love, laughter and Happy Money!

Arielle

Is it time to Scare Yourself?

I am in the midst of a new project, something I’ve never attempted before, and I’ve been keeping a journal of the process. I promise to share all about it at that right time but for today here’s what I want you to know.

Over the weekend I read my journal and I had forgotten how absolutely terrified I was when I began it.

My first journal entry revealed that I was sick with nerves and severe anxiety as I began this project. I was filled with self-doubt and fear of failing. At one point I felt like I would pass out just thinking about the enormity of what I was committing to while having thoughts such as:

“Who am I to attempt this?”

‘”I don’t know how to do this.”

“I’m not smart enough to do this.”

“No one will ever be interested in this project.”

“I’ll end up looking like such as loser for attempting this.”

These and many other negative thoughts consumed my monkey mind, initially.

But, I didn’t let it stop me.

Now I am giddy and inspired by my project. I am so happy and excited that I tackled it, in spite of my early trepidation. I think this project could end up as my greatest achievement at some point.

What is stopping you from your next grand achievement?

In the words of the late, great Dr. Susan Jeffers, “feel the fear and do it anyway!”

Wishing you love, laughter and magical kisses,

Arielle

The Fastest Path to Loving Yourself More

Unless you are in a dark place of self-loathing (in which case please find a professional counselor to help you work through it), I know that the fastest way to love yourself more is to be in a healthy, happy, love relationship.

I have come across so many people who tell me that they are “working” on loving themselves, and once they do THEN, they will begin dating.”

I believe you can do both at the same time.

The good news is that working on yourself is a great thing and you can find strategies to be more loving and kind and accepting of yourself and you need to know that the critical voice in your head can be lessened but folks, honestly, you’re never going to eliminate it entirely.

All of us mere mortals have a voice that doubts us from time to time. And it’s normal. Even super famous celebrities do.

Oprah once said that at the end of EVERY interview she has done, whether it was Beyonce or Obama, all asked her the same, “Was that ok?”

Please stop waiting for love.

When you find your beloved, and you see how much love they have for you shining forth from their eyes, there is nothing more healing than that.

As Harville Hendrix teachers, the purpose of soulmate love is for the deepest healing of your core wounds.

And, if you need support in manifesting the love of your life, please listen to my free 90-minute webinar (with Feminine Power creator Claire Zammit) at www.soulmatepassion44.com
Wishing you love, laughter and magical kisses,

Arielle

How to BE with NOT KNOWING

One of the first things I learned in Journalism school is the importance to provide the Who, What, When, Where, and How in every story.

As someone who always wanted to know all of those things, especially when I am trying to make BIG decisions and choices in my life, learning how to BE with NOT KNOWING changed my life.

Once I realized it was impossible to always know what to do and how to be, I figured out a few things that made my life easier.=-

#1 Eventually, I would find an answer and until then I can “trust” that this will happen and I can be less stressed in the in-between time.

#2 Just because what I “want” isn’t happening, doesn’t mean something great isn’t on the way, and most of the time something bigger and better occurs.

#3 Life experience has shown me that some of the worst things I’ve ever experienced turned out to be the best because they got me to places I couldn’t even imagine existed.

Life is a mystery and there are factors influencing us that we can’t really ‘know,” such as karma and divine timing.

I’ve learned to stay both in action with my desires and to also simultaneously stay surrendered and detached from the outcome. It requires staying aware and present and most days it keeps me sane.
Wishing you love, laughter and magical kisses,

Arielle

P.S. Last Chance: If manifesting a soulmate is your priority, then I invite you to my last weekend workshop of the year at the breathtakingly beautiful Esalen, May 8-10.

Details here.