According to my late sister Debbie’s favorite holy man, Rabbi Ezagui of Chabad La Jolla, marriage is the highest calling of mankind. He says:
“True love is loving the person for what they love, who they are, for what they stand for. If you go into a marriage loving what you love, not what they love, that is not love. Real love is not finding someone to hold your hand and find common ground with; the institution of marriage is to push you out of your comfort zone, to lift you up above what you need, so that you can provide what you’re needed for,” says Rabbi Ezagui.
Marriage is about finding out what you truly need. It also fulfills our need to be needed. Rabbi Ezagui quotes Rebbe Lubavitch, who said: “When you learn to love someone else as you love yourself, when you get to that level and you can truly authentically say that other person is me (at a soul level), that is the purpose of life.”
Rabbi Ezagui’s mentor Rabbi Mendl Futerfas claims that as long as the man treats his wife like a queen, he will be a king, an attitude that should be ingrained long before the wedding and carried on long after reality of life kicks in. People with strong marriages consider this idea as non-negotiable.
“Ultimately the purpose of marriage is to find in my soul what I am needed for,” explains the wise Rabbi.
Wow, now that is really deep. I think about it often….
Wishing you love, laughter and magical kisses,