Get the Most from Your Single Days

Today’s wisdom is from my dear friend and bestselling author of Calling In the One, Katherine Woodward Thomas who shares how to get the most out of your remaining days as a single!

If you’ve been without a partner for a long time now, living the single life (you know, sleeping in the middle of the bed, falling asleep with the TV on, taking up all the space on the counter of the bathroom), then I’m here to tell you, “Don’t despair!”

These single years can be an extraordinary time of growth, where you can come home to the center of yourself, connect more deeply with your own feelings, needs and desires, discover your own authentic voice, and reflect upon the impact your beliefs and assumptions have had on your past relationships. And do this in a way that supports you to evolve your consciousness to a healthier place from which to create your next relationship.

In short, you actually have the time and the space right now to identify and release your internal barriers to loving partnership, and to prepare yourself to co-create a relationship that reflects the highest possibility you hold of deeply nourishing, inspired, happy, healthy love!

The kinds of shifts that are possible in these precious times of solitude will, however, require much of you. For in order to dramatically transform your relationship patterns, you must be willing to see clearly how you yourself co-created the old ones, as well as take responsibility to begin showing up in completely new ways.

As a mature adult, and not simply a child in a grown-up body who is holding others hostage to your old wounds from childhood.

As a person who is willing to let go of your solo dance in service to becoming ready to be a part of a couple.

And being willing to take full responsibility for those things within yourself that you’ve been blaming others for.

Becoming ready for authentic, happy, healthy love isn’t always easy. But it is always well worth the effort on the other side.

While setting an intention to find love is a good thing, it is really just the beginning of the journey. A reference point for all that you will be focused on transforming in yourself as you become the woman or man you would need to be in order to create a great relationship – one that would represent the fulfillment of your deepest longings.

When you have the courage to say yes to the possibility of love, it will often mean facing things about yourself you’ve not been willing to really look at until now. Such as the part of you that may not actually want to be in a committed relationship. Or maybe the part of you that doesn’t actually want to risk being sexual again. Or the part of you that doesn’t want anyone else’s wants and needs to interfere with getting your own tended to.

Using your single time as a time to prepare for love, often means a radical departure from your old, automatic, and probably pretty comfortable ways of doing things!

I’m talking about those patterns and habits that may identify who you think you are, such as “I am fiercely independent and never ask anyone for help,” or “I’m such a loving person that I always take care of other people before myself.”

Everything you think about yourself is suddenly suspect.

Is it really your nature to be that independent? Or is it a defense against being disappointed again like you were when you were a child? A creative and compensatory response to no one really ever being there for you in the way you needed when you were young?

Is it really loving to self abandon constantly, and to source your value from pleasing other people? Or is it a destructive pattern that keeps you invisible and makes it nearly impossible for you to ever fully commit yourself to someone else because you don’t trust that your authentic self will ever be taken care of?

This time alone grants you the ability to consciously challenge these old ways of seeing yourself, and to begin identifying and practicing new ways of showing up in relationship to yourself and others that are most likely outside of who we’ve known yourself to be.

So, I encourage you to use this time wisely. Moving into a place of stillness for a while and getting into a deeper relationship with yourself can be the most vital and wonderful preparation for receiving a beloved into your life.

If more people took advantage of this time alone, there would be a lot more healthy and happy unions we could point to as role models for what we ourselves are committed to creating.

It all comes down to really doing the work to transform yourself from the inside out while you are still single. To recreate yourself anew, and to focus on becoming the best potential partner you have the capacity to be . . .

So that when you do call in your wonderful, made-for-you soulmate, you’ll actually be worthy of their devotion and their love.

I hope you enjoyed this.  A big thank you to Katherine for sharing this with us.

For those of you who want to experience her genius first hand, there is a no-cost teleseminar coming up. Register here.

Wishing you love, laughter and magical kisses,

Arielle

P.S. Katherine Woodward Thomas, MA, MFT is the national bestselling author of Calling in “The One.” She is a licensed psychotherapist and creator of the Calling in “The One” 7-week Interactive Online Course, which has supported many thousands of people around the globe in finding their soulmate. She is a creative and inspired transformative educator with over 20 years experience designing and facilitating leading-edge seminars that support the emergence of life-altering shifts in consciousness both in individuals and in groups. Register here.

 

The #1 predictor of relationship Success…

Today I wanted to share with you fascinating research that my friend and licensed relationship expert, Randy Bennett, recently brought to my attention.

It has to do with a remarkable “secret weapon” that researchers discovered can actually transform your relationship from a miserable, stale, boring, emotionally-starved desert into a lush garden full of fun, intimacy and passion.

Sound impossible?  Think again…enjoy!

Imagine the WORST argument you’ve ever had with a man.

You’re yelling, he’s yelling…you’re crying…he doesn’t even seem to care.

He retreats to the garage or turns on the TV, you don’t speak for days, and any look from either of you feels like a poison dart straight to the heart.

You may have thought, “We’re getting close to the end of what was once a promising, loving relationship.”

Instead of living in the love boat…your relationship feels more like it’s trapped in the “kill or be killed” hunger games.

How does that sound?  Familiar?

Every relationship has conflict… but how can a relationship possibly survive with this type of conflict?

Believe it or not it can, and I am going to show you how in this article.

These are skills every man and woman (single, dating, married or committed) should know

Why Fighting Can Actually be Good…

Now, if you’re like most people…you think fighting is bad…bordering-on-evil bad.

Well, that’s not necessarily the case.

Fighting is actually NOT the number one cause – or even a predictor – of relationship failure.

Not even close.  So next time you get into a committed relationship… don’t be afraid to get into a fight.

Actually, fighting can stimulate positive change in a relationship assuming there isn’t a mix of psychological warfare, back-stabbing and needless put-downs added to the fight.

Let me prove my point.

Researchers from the University of Washington were curious why some couples could fight and then within hours be right back in each other’s arms again, seemingly HAPPIER than before they fought, while other couples kept growing closer…to divorce court!

Going into the study, the researchers believed that the words “I’m sorry,” we’re the key to effective relationship repair.

But after analyzing more than 600 couples over a 14-year stretch, the researches were stunned to find out that they were wrong.

They found that, while almost all couples apologized, only a percentage of them effectively repaired the relationship after the argument.

There was something else going on…something the researchers NEVER expected.

What These Researches Found Left Them Stunned…

It wasn’t what the couple was actually saying or doing DURING or immediately after the fight itself…the key was in what the couple was doing the days, weeks, months and years before and after their fights.

After analyzing couples who stick it out, these researchers realized that for every negative event, the couple had at least 5 POSITIVE events.

That means for every negative event, there were 5 positive events.

That was their secret weapon.

We’re not talking big deals here like a weekend away to the tropics or a piece of jewelry or flowers every time there’s a big fight… just simple little things, such as…

  • A little kiss good morning…
  • A long hug and sign of affection when you return home.. 
  • A compliment about your appearance…
  • A love note…
  • A kind word…
  • A thoughtful gesture…

In other words, it’s the “little things” that actually make a HUGE difference.

What does this mean for you?  For a brand new relationship?

The little deposits you make into the love bank on a day-to-day basis overwhelm any withdrawals that are made when you have the periodic all-out-war type of fights.

That means… you want to make a lot of love deposits.

And that’s how those at-each-other’s-throat couples can seem like they’re on the verge of breaking up one day, and then appear to be deeply in love as if they are newly dating the next day-all because they’re using that secret weapon against all of the negativity.

How to Reclaim that Dating Spark in Your Relationship…

The take-away here is that you already hold the secret weapon for once again having a close, loving, emotionally-fulfilling connection with your man (OR a new relationship).

You just have to put that secret weapon to work, starting RIGHT NOW.

It doesn’t mean that you stop fighting – that’s completely unrealistic.

What it means is that the next time you DO get in a fight, keep in mind the concept of outweighing a handful of negatives with a barrel full of positives.

In fact, I challenge the couples I counsel to aim for the Rule of Six: for every negative interaction you have with your man, you have to override it with at least six positive interactions.

It’s like money in the love bank.

When the overwhelming majority of your interactions are positive ones, the smaller number of negative interactions isn’t powerful enough to take down your relationship.

Positive interactions build a relationship fortress, and they’re your secret weapon for creating emotional intimacy between you and your man.

And that will lay the groundwork for developing a deeply fulfilling, blissful relationship that will flourish for decades to come.

I wish you the best,

Randall E. Bennett, MA, LMFT, LCPC

P.S.  The Rule of Six is one of the simplest, but most effective methods that I teach, but there’s another, even more powerful one that I share in this video.

It has to do with a somewhat unusual way of talking to your man that connects to his “love frequency.” 

It’s shockingly simple and is something that ANY woman can do – it’s natural, it’s easy, and it’s actually fun.

And it’s the best skill to attract men to you, like bees to honey. And best of all, it works extremely quickly as I explain here.

Wishing you love, laughter and magical kisses,

Arielle

LOVE before First Sight!

If you believe that on some level we are all connected… that the “unified field” really does exist (and according to quantum physics it does), then great news – you are already connected to your soulmate on the cosmic level.

When I was manifesting my soulmate, I instinctively knew this and so every day I would take time to meditate and then I would “talk” to my soulmate. I didn’t know his name, or where he was, but I would share my day with him and always let him know that I was ready for him to arrive whenever the time was right for him. I believe that one of the reasons Brian and I “recognized” each other when we finally did meet on the physical plane is because I had already begun the relationship with him.

One of my students, Patricia Arroyo, a Ph.D. psychologist and certified coach, recently emailed me to share the fabulous news that ten months ago she manifested her soulmate and that “talking to her soulmate” was one of the Soulmate Secret tools she used that really supported her in the process. The “feelingizations” were a powerful daily reminder that she is the source of love and that by remembering and re-experiencing love she was able to dispel feelings of desperation and loneliness. She also shared with me that believing and knowing that her soulmate was also “looking for her” was a real eye-opener! (Patricia is available as a coach on how to manifest a soulmate so if you want some extra support. You can email her at drparroyo@nullicloud.com)

Remember, BIG LOVE is possible – you just need to commit to putting in a little time, energy, intention and attention on your love life.

Wishing you love, laughter and magical kisses,

Arielle

Are You A Great Date?

Many years ago I was having lunch with my friend Scott and we were talking about men, women, sex, love and dating. It was a very fun conversation….one that I never forgot, because he said to me: “the most important thing a woman can do on a date is to be enthusiastic. If she is showing up as interested in getting to know me, then I will want to know more about her.”

This was quite surprising for me because I was showing up on dates trying to instantly figure out, “Is he the one for me?” “How can he make me happy?”

I wasn’t there with very much enthusiasm….so, that conversation with Scott was turning point for me. It changed, forever, how I interacted on dates.

Bringing an attitude of enthusiasm and curiosity to a date makes sense doesn’t it? And, since the point of dating is to get to know someone, I thought I would share with you some great questions that will add a fun factor and open up the conversation:

If you could have dinner with 3 people, living or dead, who would you invite & why?
What are you doing to make the world a better place?
What’s the best thing you have ever eaten?
What is your vision for a great relationship?
Where do you see yourself in 5 years?
What are your favorite guilty pleasures?
What are a few of the things on your “bucket list?”
If you were going to save a species… which one would it be and why?
What was your favorite book or fairytale when you were a child?
Who is your celebrity crush? (mine is Sting)
What has been your best ever travel experience?

Here’s another good reason to bring your enthusiasm and really get to know someone….even if the “date” isn’t your soulmate, he or she might become a friend and ultimately introduce you to your soulmate. This has happened to several people I know.

Wishing you love, laughter and magical kisses,

Arielle

NEW Cosmic Soulmate Ritual for July 22

The Jewish celebration of Tu B’Av, the holiday of love, happens next Monday on July 22. It is a cosmic window in time where the potential of two souls to reunite is greater than any other day of the year. Tu B’Av is the one day in the kabbalistic calendar where there is a complete unification between the spiritual and physical worlds, offering balanced cosmic support perfect for awakening love, discovering soulmates, strengthening relationships and making new beginnings of all kinds.

To take advantage of this auspicious and magical time I would suggest the following ritual:

Go to the most romantic place in nature you can get to – a place that you want to someday take your soulmate.

Plan to be there either at 12:00noon, at sunrise or at sunset.
Bring a pink or red blanket or pillow to sit on.

Also bring a favorite celebratory beverage and a champagne flute.
And bring, a journal, a container of sea salt and a bell (if you have one).

Find a comfortable place to sit and before you sit, place your blanket or pillow on the ground and then make a wide circle around it with sea salt, then sit down.

Write in your journal what you are most grateful for about the life you now lead, and what you are grateful for that is soon to come with the arrival of your soulmate. Then close your eyes and say a prayer of gratitude and meditate for awhile.

When you are done, open your eyes, pour your drink and raise a toast to your soulmate and tell him or her (in your mind) that the cosmic welcome mat is now out and you look forward to meeting them on the physical plane in the near future.

Then, if you have brought your bell, ring in many times.

If you can, take a photo of yourself in this space to add to your altar.

Finally, if you can attend any gatherings or parties where you are likely to meet someone new, on either July 21 or July 22, be sure to go!

Wishing you love, laughter, and magical kisses!

Arielle

Fun 4th of July Ideas

Happy Summer! This is my favorite time of year…I love the warm weather, the long days, and spectacular sunsets. Not to mention the BBQ’s, juicy array of peaches, plums and cherries to eat!Are you ready to create some fun for this long 4th of July weekend?

 

If you don’t already have plans, here are a few ideas to consider:

  • create a pot-luck singles soiree at your home or at a local park where you can see fireworks.
  • invite your favorite single friends over for a movie marathon.
  • take a fun friend or niece to the mall and pick out great “hot-date” outfits for each other – try on things you would never normally reach for and see what happens!
  • host a mini-spa party where you do mani/pedi’s with outlandish colors.
  • be adventurous and go to a singles meet-up – nearly every city has them. You can always take a friend with you.
  • if “fitness” is your thing and you want to find fun folks to go hiking, biking, weight-lifting, canoeing, kayaking, diving with and more, check out this site…they have lots of locations http://www.fitness-singles.com/
  • get onto google and discover at least 3 new things to do for singles in your city.
  • plan your summer vacation. Check out http://www.singlecruises.com and other travel services for singles.

I want to encourage you to get outside your comfort zone and generate some opportunities to meet new people. Your soulmate could be just one new friend away!

Wishing you love, laughter, and magical kisses!

Arielle

Martha Stewart’s Love Life!

Many The other day I was working out on my elliptical machine, channel surfing, when I came across the TODAY SHOW. Matt Lauer was interviewing Martha Stewart, 71, about her love life. Martha is now hoping to meet Mr. Right with and has put up her profile up online. She was on the show to meet the two men she narrowed down from a pool of 1,000 of bachelors she connected with on Match.com.

The two men are Larry and Stan, both 68 and divorced.

Larry, an international steel trade executive, describes himself on the site as a “romantic above all” who craves “the intimacy of a one-on-one relationship.”

He told Matt Lauer that he shares Stewart’s feelings about looking for love at a certain age.

“When I read the profile, she expressed the same feelings that all of us this age have, a lot of trepidation and the fear of it – and we’re usually not afraid of much,” he said.

“But then when she said the learning, curiosity, adventure: That’s really what we’re looking for.”

Both men professed a love of sports, cultural events and being social – a must for any guy who wants to keep up with Stewart.

Stewart’s profile brought a staggering 20,000 page views to Match.com after she announced she’d joined the site under the handle “thegoodlonglife.”

She stressed that the profile is no joke, and her search for love is genuine. The men will follow up their very public introduction by taking her on individual dates.

“None of these have been set up. None of this is fake,” she said on “Today.” “I just want everybody to know that because I want other women in a similar situation to mine to realize that it can be done.”

What I really love about this story is that Martha, in spite of her fame and fortune, is making a bold stand for herself to find love. If Martha can do it, you can do it!

On Thursday, I am offering a free teleseminar where I am going to reveal 3 proven techniques to manifest love. I hope you will join me….you can sign up here.

Wishing you love, laughter and magical kisses,

Arielle

Throw yourself a Pity Party

I want you to think of your 3 most prominent negative beliefs or stories about WHY you are not already with your soulmate.

Is it because someone has betrayed you and you have a belief that all Men (or women) lie or cheat or something like that?

Is one of your beliefs or stories that there is something wrong with you and that is the cause of your aloneness?

Or do you believe that you are too old or too fat or too broke or too damaged?

Lets take just a few minutes and think about your 3 most predominant beliefs or stories….then, if you are willing to finally overcome these stories, do this exercise.

Write down the entire story and make a strong argument for why it is absolutely your TRUTH.

Give every ugly detail and feel free to exaggerate it and make it even worse than you remember.

Read through this a few times and then burn the pages as you say this prayer:

Dear God, Goddess and All That Is,    

I am now willing to release this story about why I cannot have Big Love in my life.

I am now willing to forgive and let go of this completely.

In this moment I give thanks that my heart and mind are now being healed from these past beliefs, stories and wounds.

I am grateful for this healing and I am now open, willing and available to have deep love in my life.

And so it is.  

Then sit down and write a new story, in which your former beliefs existed to prepare you for Big Love.

For instance, I once had a boyfriend, Joe, who was extremely controlling, constantly lied to me, and cheated on me.

For years after the relationship ended I felt the pain of this experience….until I did the pity party process.

When I did this process my new story became this:

Because of my experience with the lying, cheating, controlling Joe, I have now learned that I deserve to be loved, cherished and adored by a man who is honest, trustworthy and faithful.

Being with Joe was an important piece of my personal growth so I can now forgive him, forgive myself and I am grateful for the experience.

I then wrote out how wonderful my next relationship would be, how satisfied and content and loved I felt in this new relationship.

Are you ready to let go of your old story?

Are you ready to write your new story….the story that will magnetize to you the love of your life?

This process is just one of the many things we will be doing in my upcoming Soulmate Secret 7 Week Online Course.

To discover more about this I will be hosting a free preview call on May 16th, register here.

Wishing you love, laughter and magical kisses,

Arielle

Is Your Pet One of Your Soulmates?

My definition of a soulmate is: someone you can completely be yourself with. Someone with whom you share unconditional love and when you look into their eyes you have the experience of being “home.”

If you accept this definition, you can begin to acknowledge ALL the soulmates already in your life. It may be your kids, parents, siblings, friends, and co-workers AND it can also be your pets.

Not every pet is a soulmate, just as not every friend or relative feels like a soulmate, but when you have one, you know it. There is a special heart connection that is undeniable.

One of my feline soulmates, our beautiful heart chakra on paws, Sheba, left us this morning from stomach cancer. Sheba arrived in our back yard 9 years ago and adopted us. She was a BIG SPIRIT, a sweet indoor/outdoor explorer who lived in my office. She was my brilliant muse and companion. She had a passion for cashmere sweaters to sleep on and Brian spoiled her every day by providing a buffet of different tasty delights for her to eat. For a skinny cat she had a huge appetite. We are so grateful she chose us as her family and we knew she loved us as much as we loved her.

Take some time today to make a list of all the soulmates you already have in your life and think about ways to let them know how important they are to you.

One of the fastest ways to become magnetic to a romantic soulmate is to begin to appreciate all the love you already have in your life. Start sharing your love.

Wishing you love, laughter and magical kisses,

Arielle

The 3 steps to getting ANY guy to commit to you (+ a present for you!)

This year something big is happening. 

My friend Matthew Hussey, the star of NBC’s new show Ready For Love is quickly becoming famous in America.

If you haven’t heard of him yet, you soon will.

Eva Longoria read his brand new book and called him “a genius who has cracked the code on men and relationships.”

He’s blowing up.

Luckily for us, I knew him BEFORE he got big ; )

He created a system to get women a date with the guy they want within 30 days, and then keep him! It gives you the behind the scenes secrets to how men think, and how to have your ideal guy chasing you for a relationship.

It’s a fool-proof guide for transforming the state of your love life.

The great news for us is that he’s put his famous advice in his brand new book ‘Get The Guy’, available on Amazon now.

EXCITING NEWS FOR YOU…

As a present for my followers, I have a free chapter from his book for you to read.

In this free chapter, you’ll learn:

– Why he thinks he’s not ready to commit
– Why men say they can’t commit and then marry the next woman they meet
– The 3 tips to get ANY man to commit (even if right now he’s unsure)

This free chapter is a genuine MUST read.

There’s no catch, just enjoy this chapter from the book. If you want the rest, feel free to grab a copy of your own!