3 Ways Menopause CAN improve Your Love Life

My good friend, Ellen Dolgen, is on a mission to educate women about menopause, and today she has graciously shared with us an important message. Please enjoy!

 

Hand me a microphone, ladies! I’ve got an announcement – menopause can improve your love life!

Ellen DolgenSure, when I entered peri-menopause, I never thought I’d say that. Like many women, I was irritable, sweaty, sleepless, and felt like a permanent fog had taken over my brain. Not to mention my vagina suddenly fled to the Sahara desert. Yes, it was dry and parched! I had no idea what was happening-let alone how to get the help I needed.

I learned that what I was experiencing wasn’t just normal. It was fixable!

Here are three ways to throw your love life into high gear:

1.    Be Confident

My menopausal journey has given me the most attractive quality around: confidence. I love myself. To be the woman I want to be, both for the people I love and for myself, I have learned to put myself at the top of my To-Do List. I take care of myself with the same commitment with which I care for my family and friends!  Confidence is sexy! It has unleashed joy and a renewed sense of self and freedom.

2.   Shed Your Inhibitions

“Women always try to tame themselves as they get older, but the ones that look best are often a bit wilder. Thinking about age all the time is the biggest prison women can make for themselves,” Miuccia Prada once said. Get wild – be free and uninhibited in and out of the bedroom.Explore new places to make love – every room offers new opportunities.   Try out some new positions and sensual stimulation (candles, toys, massage oils, lingerie just to name a few). The sky is the limit! Let loose!

3.   Have A Happy Vagina

I’m not about to stay hush-hush about my vagina. It’s a beautiful part of me and as such I’ve learned to listen to my vagina.If you find that you’re all lubed up and sex is still “meh,” it’s time to find-and treat-the root cause of any pain.

Communication is the key to any healthy relationship, so don’t be embarrassed to tell your partner what you need in and out of the bedroom! Spice it up!

In fact, research published in the American Journal of Medicine shows that women’s sexual satisfaction actually tends to increase with age, even despite the hormonal throws of menopause.

When you are selfish in the sack, your partner doesn’t have to worry that you’re not enjoying yourself-he can see that you are! Be greedy and both of you will have better sex. Yes, please!

Take responsibility for your own orgasm – you are deserving of pleasure! Explore your own body and then tell your partner what feels good for you. BTW faking orgasms will guarantee that your sex life with your partner will not improve. Remember, you are deserving of pleasure, so be honest (not mean!) and you can increase your chances for a fulfilling sex life for both of you.

Ladies, it’s time to take back our bedrooms! During our menopausal years, our sex lives have so much from which they can benefit: a strong sense of self, deep relationships, and bodies we actually know how to use! “The big O” does not mean “the big Ouch.” Nip your vaginal dryness in the bud and you’ll really have something to celebrate. Recapture the rapture in bed.

 

Be sure to download Ellen’s new FREE eBook, MENOPAUSE MONDAYS: The Girlfriend’s Guide to Surviving and Thriving During Perimenopause and Menopause for more tips!

Wishing you love, laughter and magical kisses,

Arielle

Getting Clean with Iyanla Van Zant

Iyanla Van Zant glided into the room chanting words of love and truth on a blanket of beautiful music. The crowd of more than a thousand welcomed her with a standing ovation and the fun began at the Chicago Celebrate Your Life event a few weeks ago.

IyanlaThis was my first time hearing her at a live event and she knocked my socks off. She is as funny as Jerry Seinfeld, as deep and soulfully wise as Jean Houston and as mesmerizing as Marianne Williamson.

What a treat to be in her presence!

She talked a lot about the hard work of building trust in order to build the faith necessary to manifest our good. She stressed the importance of learning to trust your self and learning to trust God.

She calls God her “Sugar Daddy!” (I love that)

Iyanla implored us to forgive ourselves for thinking we have ever done anything wrong and, in spite of bad or poor choices and decisions in the past, we must remember that we have survived.

She explained that “trust is a knowing and faith is a demonstration of what you know.”

Iyanla also shared about losing her beautiful daughter to colon cancer more than twelve years ago. In moments of grief, her daughter, who she calls an “angel of light,” sent her messages to release the “physicality” and told her “I am right here.”

She explained how the pain of losing a child never goes away but it does get easier and you can and must allow yourself to be happy.

Iyanla came to understand the meaning and purpose of the early departure of her daughter’s physical body and chose to honor her by continuing her work with essential oils, combining them with herbs that are designed to facilitate healing and restore balance to the body, mind and spirit.

She advocates cleaning and clearing how we think, what we feel, and what we believe, do, and expect by using these amazing products that are made with African black soap.

I’ve been using them and can tell you they are awesome. We all get “slimed” on a daily basis by our own thoughts and beliefs as well as being in the energy of others. With these products you can clear these energies and infuse yourself with the ability to attract goodness into your life. Check them out at www.MasterPeaceBodyWash.com

You can get your own dose of Iyanla later this year when her show, Iyanla, Fix My Life! premieres on Oprah’s OWN network September 19th.

Wishing you love, laughter and magical kisses,

Arielle

What’s In The Way of Love?

When it comes to having more LOVE in your life, total clarity on how you desire to feel is the first step.

For those of you who are hyper focused on the “form” your love comes in, I am inviting you to shift into the “feeling space” and for just now, let go of your wish list regarding the physical form (on all levels) you think you need. (The Divine may have something in mind for you that is beyond your ability to conceive of right now.)

Here’s a little exercise to try every morning for the next week that will assist you in having and feeling more love in your life.

When you begin to wake up, before you even open your eyes, imagine that your life is filled with more love than you ever thought possible.

Using your imagination, begin to sense all the loving people in your life from soulmates to friends to family to pets (and don’t forget yourself!)

imagesIn this moment, how are you feeling?

Loved? Happy? Safe? Serene? Excited? Relieved? Filled with gratitude? Content?

Allow yourself to experience the depth of your positive emotions for all the love connections in your life.

In your mind, whisper to each of them words of love, appreciation and gratitude for all the ways they enrich your life.

You do not need to know how or when this reality came to be, just feel the deliciousness of their divine presence and breathe them in.

Thank them for the gift of sharing a life with you.

Tell them that you now know and trust that they are always with you.

Beam your love to each of them.

Put a big smile on your face, swallow the smile and let it land in every organ of your body, and when you are ready, gently open your eyes and begin your day.

Wishing you love, laughter, and magical kisses,

Arielle

P.S. Join me for the Soulmate Secret Weekend Workshop, at Omega Institute in Rhinebeck, NY, July 10-12th. This workshop goes beyond the book, and includes new transformative feelingizations and a fire-ritual to kick start your love life into high gear! This stunning, holistic, rural retreat center is two hours north of NYC.  More info here!

Top 10 Ways To Have Fun This Summer

Summer funMy favorite season has arrived – Summer!

 

I love that the sun is out till past 8pm, and we can enjoy the warm breezes, and all the yummy, juicy fruit that is in season.

 

To make the most of this special time, I do extra long range planning to create memorable, special summer events that will be fun for all.

 

1) What’s summer without a picnic? Select your favorite spot in nature and plan a gourmet picnic with some of your favorite peeps and fave foods. This summer there are four Full Moons and three New Moons. The Full Moons are on June 2, July 2, July 31 and Aug. 29 and the New Moons are June 16, July 16 and August 14. Pick one of these dates to create a special manifestation ceremony and invite friends to participate in the ritual and the picnic.

 

2) Check the entertainment section of your local paper and find an outdoor concert to go to. We have tickets for the San Diego Pops by the Bay in August to see Esperanza Spaulding…can’t wait! (And with many outdoor concerts, if you can’t afford the tickets, you can always go nearby and still enjoy the music.)

 

Jumping on the beach3) Plan a beach or lake day with one person that you love talking to. Every summer my friend Margaret and I meet at La Jolla Shores Beach for our annual beach day. It’s a 20-year tradition and gives us lots of time to catch up.

 

4) 4th of July is a natural for a fun and creative gathering. Plan early and make it a night to remember with friends and family.

 

5) Make watermelon sorbet. I found a simple recipe on the internet last summer….super delicious and very easy to put together.

 

6) Finally read that one novel you’ve been thinking about. It doesn’t have to be a literary heavyweight book, just something that will bring you joy. I love mysteries and chick lit. Just finished Girl On A Train – it’s a 10!

 

7) Do at least one thing that will give you a BIG adrenalin rush. Things like a crazy, scary rollercoaster ride, bungee jumping, try the trapeze, go hang gliding, the big slide at the water park, or climb the wall at the gym!

 

8) Speaking of scary – get up close and intimate with someone (whether it’s a blind date or your mate of 30 years) by answering the 36 Questions by Dr. Arthur Aron (You can get the questions via google).

 

9) Host a movie night at your place – make it a potluck dinner and pick a genre. I love stupid funny movies like Legally Blond and Beverly Hills Chihuahua (which is surprisingly good!)

 

10) Find an ice cream truck or old fashioned ice cream parlor (take a friend or two) and eat your favorite treat from your childhood while sharing memories of your summer breaks as a kid.

 

Summer is going pass by in a flash so remember, if you do what you have always done, you will get what you have always gotten, so to make this summer different and special, make a plan today!

 

Wishing you love, laughter and magical kisses,

 

Arielle

When Life Sucks

Whether you’ve lost your job,

Been dumped by a lover,

Had a family member or friend (or you) get seriously ill,

Or someone has died…

There are days, even months or years, when life sucks.

Surviving these times with grace isn’t easy, but it is possible.

When this happens to me, the first thing I do is allow myself to feel as upset and miserable as I do.

Trying to suppress my true feelings, ignore them, or pretend they aren’t there is just a set up for more bad feelings.

Next, I share my feelings with someone I really trust. Someone who won’t automatically try to “fix” me but has enough emotional intelligence just to sit and listen and hold the space for me. Someone who can be with me in all my misery. (These are rare people, choose wisely.)

 

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Then I go into research mode and look for solutions that might make the situation better or more tolerable. And, if I find solutions, I don’t try to do everything at once but rather take baby steps.

And, I also take time to chill out and give myself a break by eliminating responsibilities that can wait while I sort things out.

I take time to remember that even though things suck right now, it won’t always be this way. In fact, most of the best things that have ever happened to me were initiated or a result of the worst things that have ever happened. (Really!)

Most importantly, I make a daily gratitude list of all the good in my life.

Wishing you love, laughter and magical kisses,

Arielle

The Opposite of the Bucket List

We all know what a bucket list is – those lifelong dreams of things we want to experience or acquire…things we imagine are going to fulfill or exceed our expectations.

Several months ago I shared with you when I fulfilled one of my bucket list items of seeing Stevie Wonder live in concert. It was awesome, amazing, dazzling, spectacular ….everything I hoped it would be.

Bucket lists are a good thing.

I have now discovered what the opposite of a bucket list is.

Turns out that every January 1st my New Year’s Resolution list has the same items on it…year after year. Things such as:

    • Learn to speak Italian. (I can almost read an Italian menu but that’s about it)
    • Do weight training three times a week. (if I get to Pilates once a week it’s a miracle)
    • Go snow skiing.  (I haven’t been on ski’s since 1993)
    • Scuba dive the Red Sea (I haven’t been diving since 1996)
    • Cook a traditional Thanksgiving Dinner from scratch. (I’ve never cooked a turkey)
    • Take up ballroom dancing and learn the Samba. (I no longer even watch Dancing With The Stars)

I have finally realized that I will most likely never do any of these. Leaving them on my “To Do” list takes up energetic bandwidth. I have finally moved ALL these items to a new list – my F*#k It List.

Poof. Gone.  Vanished.

No more wishing, hoping, fantasizing.

The truth is, none of these are a high priority and I want to free up my mind and spirit to enjoy the things I truly have a passion for.

Now it’s time to go take a nap!

Puppy nap

 

 

 

 

 

Wishing you love, laughter and magical kisses,

Arielle

Spiritual Benefits of Shopping and Tithing

We go shopping for all kinds of reasons:

  • The fridge is empty and we need bread, milk and eggs.
  • We’re craving chocolate or cheesecake.
  • We need new shoes and a little black dress.

We shop for necessity, for fun, excitement and for all kinds of reasons. I am not a big shopper. These days I would rather be getting rid of stuff rather than acquiring new stuff, except when it’s something to which I can attribute meaning or purpose.

I’ve discovered we can shop for spiritual expansion.

Here’s how I do it:

When I accomplish something really big, something I have worked long and hard for, I buy myself what I call a “push present.” I recently completed writing my tenth book and bought myself a beautiful new ring that I wear nearly everyday.

ringsHow’s does this expand me spiritually?

The ring is a physical, constant reminder and proof of my abundance and prosperity that comes from the part of me that is connected to the Divine. And, every time I look at this ring it makes me smile and remember that I have accomplished something that I am really proud of.

When I buy myself a push present I also “tithe” the same amount I spend to someone or something that provides me with spiritual sustenance. This creates even more fulfillment with me.

What is expanding you spiritually these days?

Wishing you love, laughter and magical kisses,

Arielle

What Do Men Want?

What do men want? That’s a big question and one that I have been researching for years. In fact, when my next book comes out next January, I will be unveiling my take on this topic as well.

I recently came across Kate, who has great information and a story about what men want. If you are looking to gain insight into the mind of a man, this is worth checking out.

Below is the start of her wisdom and if you want more, you can click on the link at the end for a video that goes deeper. (…and in full disclosure, she does have a $37 product to sell with the full scoop of what she has to teach on this topic.)

Kate says:

Having a man close to you is a wonderful feeling…

  • The warmth of his embrace…
  • The smell of his skin…
  • The safety and comfort when you’re near him…

And one of the most frustrating things a woman can feel is the suspicion that you might have accidentally pushed him away…

That you may have even scared a good man off for good.

Well, the truth is this (WARNING – I’m not going to sugar-coat this): The reason he doesn’t want you or desire you is simply because you never made him feel like you really “GET” him.

imagesYou Gotta Show Him You GET Him!

Let me explain…

Most women think it’s enough to make herself look appealing by fixing her hair, makeup, and clothes. The usual “peacocking” stuff that captures his eye. The thought goes that, if you make yourself LOOK good enough, he’ll desire you and fall in love with you. But this is backwards. And it feels “desperate” to men.

YES, you absolutely do need to be appealing to the eye (and that does NOT mean you need to look like a supermodel or have backbreaking boobs.) There is no question that this will initiate interest. HOWEVER… What he REALLY needs to feel is that you UNDERSTAND him as a MAN…. And you’d be VERY surprised how easy it is to send a guy the wrong signal and make him think you don’t get him AT ALL.

For example: A lot of women pretend to understand a man in order to pry open his heart. But it backfires on her when she doesn’t do it the right way. Like when she pretends to be interested in his hobbies or sports or television shows, but it’s just her faking “good behavior.” You know, that “getting to know you” pretending that both men and women sometimes do.

QUICK SECRET: Men And Women Have Developed a Keen Radar For BS!

Most human conversations (these days, anyway) tend to have the feel of: “Mmm hmmm. Mmm hmmm. Just waiting for my turn to speak.”

To be fair, we all get a little nervous on dates. And we want to yak it up and make a good impression. But sometimes we gotta drop the whole “Facebook culture” thing and not need to broadcast ourselves or our lives.  SO when a woman pretends (even if she’s really sure she’s putting up a good act of interest), an alarm goes off in his head when he figures it out (and believe me, he DOES) – and then slams the door to his love on you.

It can happen on the first date – or the umpteenth… There’s no statute of limitations here. You have to show him that you not only understand MEN – but the unique things about HIM as a man.

  • Do you know WHY men brag? (Hint: This presentation will explain that whole “egotistical braggart” thing some guys do.)
  • Do you know what the sign of a man’s interest is that you’re probably missing? (Yup, it’s the presentation, too…)
  • Do you know how to make him feel like a man, and not just a possible meal ticket? (That’s a real concern for a lot of guys.)

So, we men know when a woman “GETS” us – and is on our team – and when it’s just a trick to get us to dig her. But if you show him the “Secret Signal” he’s looking for – he instantly melts for you. If you show him this Signal, you can have just about any man spellbound – IRRESISTIBLY desiring you. (It’s almost like cheating.) Oh, and if you think that the “Secret Signal” men are looking for is SEX – that’s NOT it!

TIP: the “worst” mistake you can make is to sleep with him too quickly just because you think he might “move on” if you don’t…

Let me explain…

I just got off the phone with Rebecca – a client, who’s now a close friend of mine. After losing her husband to another woman, at the age of 39, well – she’s falling back in love, and talking about a new baby. Now, if you had seen Rebecca just 3 months ago at the mall, where they had an argument so loud and scary that the police had to escort them out (no joke)… You would NEVER have thought this was possible. But she pulled it off… I gotta hand it to her.

You see, what Rebecca discovered was the ONE thing that men desire most of all from women. And if you think it’s that same three letter word that starts with S and ends with X….NOPE. Not that at all.

Again, so many women assume that this is what men want, and ALL they want. It’s such a well-known and accepted fact about men that it must be true… right?

Actually, no.

SECRET TIP: What Do Men Want?

I’ll give you a little hint about what he needs – It’s called APPRECIATION. Men THRIVE on appreciation. In fact, he wants to feel this more than he wants to feel love from you.

Why? Because it’s one of the signals that tells him he’s doing things RIGHT. It’s the ONE way he knows he’s making you happy, when you appreciate him. Appreciation is the male form of LOVE!  It’s also one of the reasons he falls in love in the first place. But, inevitably, the appreciation starts to wane. And then the distance creeps in….He seems distant or hard to reach.

OR – if you’re just going out on a first date with him, but things fizzle – and you never hear from him again. What happened? Chances are, you missed showing him THIS secret signal.

Here – let me show you how to stop this from ever happening again…

If you’d like to know what this Secret Signal is that makes men desire you uncontrollably, I’d like you to watch this new video presentation. And you’ll also discover something incredibly exciting – a NEW way for you to unlock the secrets of the male mind. Don’t let something interrupt you – Go Here NOW!

FYI, the video is about a half hour and you can start and stop it whenever you wish.

Wishing you love, laughter and magical kisses,

Arielle

Got Faith?

Lately I’ve been thinking a lot about faith and trust….and asking myself, how much of it do I really have? And, what does it take to have 100% faith and trust that my life is unfolding exactly as it should?

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As someone who has had ongoing success implementing the Law of Attraction, I sometimes wonder if my desires arise because part of me already knows what is coming, or…do I influence what is coming because I create the conditions for it to arise?

Maybe it’s a little of both!

Here’s the part I know for sure: once I drop my desire into the Universal soup, it’s time to surrender and trust that what I have asked for IS ALREADY MINE.   So, wherever you are in your manifesting process….don’t forget this piece of the pie.

Mother Nature knows how to do her job.  You wouldn’t go pulling on the leaves of your tomato plant at 3:00am saying to it “grow faster, grow faster” now would you?

Here are a few of my favorite quotes on this topic:

“Faith is to believe what you do not see; the reward of this faith is to see what you believe.”
-Saint Augustine

“Faith is believing that the outcome will be what it should be, no matter what it is.”
-Colette Baron-Reid

“Faith is an oasis in the heart which will never be reached by the caravan of thinking.”
-Khalil Gibran

“Faith is the bird that feels the light when the dawn is still dark.”
-Tagore

Practicing “faith” takes a bit of discipline…we need to stay aware of our thoughts and beliefs and not let our monkey mind get the best of us. As a constant reminder, I’ve recently put a post it note on my computer that says “Got Faith?”  Yay!

Wishing you love, laughter and magical kisses,

Arielle

P.S. Single and don’t want to be?  If so, please join me at the Omega Institute, Rhinebeck, NEW YORK – July 10-12th for The Soulmate Secret workshop that will give your love life a power boost! This stunning, rural retreat center, two hours north of NYC, is the ideal environment to go deep and the work  shop goes beyond the book and includes new transformative feelingizations and a fire-ritual to kick start your love life into high gear! Register here!

Life Is Short, Stop Waiting for “Someday”

Now that I am in the “final third” of my life, I totally get the “life is short” thing.

It’s really true. Life is short, and it goes by really, really fast.

Lifeis ShortLately I have been thinking about “if I knew then what I know now,” all the things I would have done differently.

I spent most of my life thinking that acquiring things and reaching goals were most important. The old, “I will be happy when” scenario.

What’s really true (at least for me) is that the biggest moments of joy and satisfaction have all come from experiences, not stuff.

I often would stretch or push myself to buy things – a new car, more clothes but when it came to experiences, somehow those didn’t seem as important.

Today I find that having great seats to an awesome concert or play or traveling to exotic places is where I most want to focus my attention. The memories of these experiences fill me up in ways that a new pair of shoes never will.

Here are a few questions to think about:

  • What are the experiences that will fill you up?
  • What is stopping you from doing them now?
  • Are you willing to make at least one of these experiences a priority for 2015?

Wishing you love, laughter and magical kisses,

Arielle

P.S. If spending 8 days in Bali exploring the sacred sites, temples, meeting with Shamans and Healers and being with me & Brian is something that appeals to you, please join us. More info here: www.heartlabtours.com