It seems like nearly everyone I know is in the midst of a physical and emotional transformation, myself included. Symptoms range from serious challenges (cancer, Lyme disease, etc.) to very annoying (but not life-threatening) things like chronic headaches, vertigo, reflux, food sensitivities, parasites, blood flow, sleeplessness, etc.).
As I deal with my own issues, while having spent thousands of dollars during the past five years on western, eastern medical treatments, woo-woo energetic healings, medical intuitives, EFT release techniques, herbs, aromatherapy, homeopathic remedies, flower remedies, cleanses, acupuncture, vitamins, consultants and just about anything else you can dream up, my chronic conditions are still there. Every treatment helps a little, but is not a cure.
Looking into my own psyche and observing my friends in the same boat, I see a pattern: We are all very driven creatives who enjoy producing results, making a difference in the world. That is the “outer” part of it.
Going deeper, it’s clear that we are also trying, sometimes desperately, to fill up parts of our soul. Seeking love in the form of our success. The way we fill these holes is different with each of us. Certainly ego plays a big role. My identity is still tied to my outer abilities.
Busyness is also a big piece of this. I recently diagnosed myself with what I call “chronic shpilkes.” Shpilkes is a Yiddish word that means having “ants in your pants.” It also means impatience and agitation. You might also call it an “adrenalin addiction.”
While my soul is clearly screaming for a kinder, gentler, more peaceful day-to-day existence, and while my mind knows, believes, and understands that I can “do less and accomplish more,” the reality is that I often am still in overdoing mode.
As are my friends.
Here’s what I know for sure about this:
It’s not about having “more.”
It’s not about having more organic juices, more yoga classes, more money, more results, more success, more books, more sex, more this or more that.
It’s about really, truly getting to enough.
I am enough.
You are enough.
I now see that nobody out there has the “cure” to my issue because nothing is wrong. This is my journey to figure out.
The question that I am now sitting with is:
What will it take for me to get to knowing and being that I am enough?
Wishing you love, laughter and magical kisses,