Do you give up too easily?

Dear Soulmate Manifesters,

We live in a society of instant gratification and many of us have lost the fine art of getting to know someone. While it’s true that sometimes when soulmates meet, sparks fly and it’s completely obvious to both parties that the ONE has been found, more often than not this isn’t what happens.

I’ve spoken to many, now happily married couples, who once had an idea or fantasy in their head that their beloved would have dark brown hair, or light blond hair or some other physical feature. And then, they met a redhead and felt certain he or she could not be the ONE. Fortunately, they were smart enough to become friends with this wrong-colored-hair person and eventually they fell in love and discovered that their soulmate had been right in front of them all along.

Rather than judging someone by their physical features, or questioning whether or not there is “instant chemistry” (which I believe, for certain people with emotional baggage, can be a sign that you have found someone who fits your past negative patterns not your future), it’s important to seriously examine how you “feel” when you are dating someone. Do you feel heard? Seen? Understood? Is there an ease to your communication? One of the reasons why a Soulmate Wish List is so useful is that it’s there remind you about the traits and qualities that are MOST important to you.

While you are in your manifestation process it’s possible that you will meet potential mates that initially “seem” like they have great potential, only to discover they are not the ONE. This is a good thing. Don’t give up. It just means that you are that much closer than you were before. And, when you meet someone new give them a chance…don’t give up so easily.

Wishing you love, laughter, and magical kisses,

Arielle

My new book Wabi Sabi Love is now available!  Finding your Soulmate is just the beginning.  Read how successful couples keep the soulmate fire burning.  Receive a priceless bonus bundle of advanced love attraction resources and techniques when you order your copy right here:   Wabi Sabi Love

LOVE Recycling- Part 2

Dear Soulmate Manifesters,

I love going to weddings and this past weekend we had an amazing time at the wedding of our dear friends Kim & Nova. The setting couldn’t have been more perfect – Napa in the Spring – flowers in full bloom, warm breezes, and love so palpable you could feel it everywhere and in everyone. The bride was stunning and beautiful and deliriously happy, an even though her wedding day was probably 15 years later than she expected, her groom was worth the wait.

Theirs is a modern-day love story.

The groom mentioned to his friend, Jimmy, that he was ready to meet a great woman. Jimmy, in a flash of genius, knew the perfect woman for him, Kim.

And, thus a love-match was made.

As I heard the story of how they met, I was reminded of a party I once went to when I lived in Los Angeles. My friend Rita asked her single friends (both men & women) to come to a Sunday brunch and to bring two things – something delicious to eat and a former boyfriend or girlfriend. The idea was to bring some one really wonderful, someone that we were still friends with but, for whatever reason, were no longer dating. Rita’s idea was till fill her home with pre-screened (you might even say test-driven) great singles and let them all get together to mingle.

I remember being in the house and the place was just buzzing with excitement. It was easy to talk to everyone because we all had a story to share about who we had brought to the party and why. What I enjoyed best was that I felt really comfortable. Surrounded by friends, old and new, we all wanted to the same thing – to connect and meet someone but without any awkward pressure.

Last week we began this conversation about sharing the great guys & gals we meet with our friends…here’s a way to take it one step further – create a gathering like Rita did. You never know who is going to walk through the door.

Wishing you love, laughter, and magical kisses,

Arielle

My new book Wabi Sabi Love is now available!  Finding your Soulmate is just the beginning.  Read how successful couples keep the soulmate fire burning.  Receive a priceless bonus bundle of advanced love attraction resources and techniques when you order your copy right here:   Wabi Sabi Love

Love Recycling

Dear Soulmate Manifesters,

Synchronicity is a wonderous thing and I love to pay attention to the seemingly random yet connected things that happen in my life.

One day, many years ago, my friend Cathy called to tell me about a man, Joe, she wanted to fix me up with on a blind date. Cathy shared that Joe was tall, handsome, successful, lots of fun, spiritual and, oh, by the way, she had been dating him for the past month.

Whoa.

Hold on sister. Why are you trying to fix me up with this great guy if you’re dating him?

Cathy explained that Joe was a fabulous guy but he just wasn’t right for her and she thought that someone in her circle should benefit from meeting him and she chose me. I thought it was pretty strange but agreed to meet him.

Joe and I went to a very chic restaurant for dinner. He was everything Cathy had said and more plus he spent most of the evening massaging my feet. (I have a weakness for great foot rubs)

By the end of the evening all I could think of was: wow, great guy but not for me. Who can I fix him up with? It turned out I really wasn’t a perfect match for him so we decided to become pals.

A few weeks later my friend Holly asked me if I new any great guys I could fix her up with…I thought about it for a few seconds and said, “Yes, you’ve just got to meet Joe!”

So, Holly & Joe went to lunch. And they became…….really great friends.

And yet, again no love match for Joe. But…just a few months later, Joe introduced Holly to his best friend, Jack, who Holly instantly fell in love with and later married.

We never know when or where we will meet our soulmate but when we approach every new person as a possible “friend” unimaginable possibilities could unfold.

Wishing you love, laughter, and magical kisses,

Arielle

My new book Wabi Sabi Love is now available!  Finding your Soulmate is just the beginning.  Read how successful couples keep the soulmate fire burning.  Receive a priceless bonus bundle of advanced love attraction resources and techniques when you order your copy right here:   Wabi Sabi Love

Do the right thing

Dear Soulmate Manifesters,

It was the Fall of 1991 and I remember looking into his big brown eyes and feeling my heart expand to the far reaches of the Universe. My body was tingling and I was filled with the yummiest sensations. My mind was filled with the thoughts such as “he must be my twin-soul,” “finally I’ve found my One,” “this is so amazing.” It was like the best possible drug and I was willing to become an addict.

The problem was that (a) I didn’t know a thing about him (b) I was completely delusional (c) he was ALREADY married (d) even though my body was saying YES there was a sane voice in the back of my head saying “hey, hello, hellloooooo, anyone home? Wake up!”

I spent a few weeks in this delirious state of stolen moments (he would fly into town for a few hours and fly home to be with his family), hours on the phone, fantasies that somehow all these feelings MUST mean this is meant to be, right? Wrong.

There was nothing right about this situation. (one obvious clue: I wasn’t talking about this with anyone, especially my closest friends)

I was compromising my values on so many levels.

Did I really want a guy who would behave this way? No.

Did I want to spend any part of my life being the other woman? No.

How long was I willing to be swept away with these dramatic feelings and make up all kinds of crazy stories that somehow we must be meant to be together?

Luckily not long at all.

In a moment of searing clarity I decided to tell him that we were through. We would not be friends. We would not stay in touch. He offered to leave his wife and move 500 miles to be near me but I just said no. I didn’t trust someone who was willing to throw away their life to be with someone that they truly didn’t know.

Were there moments when I thought “how can something that feels this good be so wrong?” YES and I let the thoughts and the feelings float by as I stayed anchored in my heart of hearts that chose to do the right thing.

Was it hard? Making the decision was the hardest part. Was it the right decision? Absolutely, one million percent.

This experience led me to get very clear about the type of man and the kind of relationship my heart truly desired. And as most of you know, that all came to fruition a few years later when I manifested Brian.

True love is never about compromising your values or morals. Learn to trust that at the right time and with the right circumstances love (not just hormonal frenzy) will be yours.

Wishing you love, laughter, and magical kisses,

Arielle

My new book Wabi Sabi Love is now available!  Finding your Soulmate is just the beginning.  Read how successful couples keep the soulmate fire burning.  Receive a priceless bonus bundle of advanced love attraction resources and techniques when you order your copy right here:   Wabi Sabi Love

Are you ripe yet?

Dear Soulmate Manifesters,

I’ve recently received a few emails from men and women who are frustrated because they feel they have been actively “searching” for their soulmate without success. I would like to address this issue since it seems to be a big one for many people and I know that a small shift in perspective can make all the difference.

My suggestion is to focus more on “magnetizing” your soulmate to you rather than actively “looking out there” for that person.

Words and feelings are important. “Searching” can sometimes come from a place of desperation instead of the natural flow of love. Remember, that ultimately there is nothing for you to do but there is something and someone for you to BECOME.

Become the loving, giving magnet for love that you are at your core.
Discover true happiness within you and the life you have right now.
Give love to those already in your life.
Practice surrendering to the Universe and to all THAT IS.
When the time is right and you are ripe, love will find you.

Wishing you love, laughter, and magical kisses,

Arielle

My new book Wabi Sabi Love is now available!  Finding your Soulmate is just the beginning.  Read how successful couples keep the soulmate fire burning.  Receive a priceless bonus bundle of advanced love attraction resources and techniques when you order your copy right here:   Wabi Sabi Love

My Soulmate Came Knocking on My Door!

Dear Soulmate Manifesters,

One of the questions I am asked most often is from working moms who want to know “how will I ever meet someone when I am so busy with my kids, work, carpool, etc?” The first thing I always share with them is this true story of how my friend Peggy McColl, at age 46, manifested her soulmate:


After my divorce, I was a stay-at-home mom running an Internet business, working in a home office with very little face-to-face contact with people. I lived in a residential neighborhood filled with families and, to my knowledge, not a single unattached man. Although I believed my soulmate was out there somewhere, it was hard not to notice the years ticking by as I waited for him to arrive. I also wondered how in the world he was going to find me, given that I worked from home and spent most of my days in semi-isolation.

Gradually, I let go of my need to know where or how he was going to come into my life, and one day early in January, I simply decided the following: My soulmate and I are going to meet easily, effortlessly, and perfectly. This, in fact, became my daily mantra, and I developed an unwavering emotion of faith. One day shortly thereafter, I went for a walk with my dog, Noelle. After catching sight of another dog on the front lawn of a neighbor’s house, Noelle bolted over to say “hello” to this new dog in the neighborhood. The moment the dog’s owner walked out of the house, I thought, Hmmm . . . he’s handsome! We started chatting, and in the middle of our conversation I found myself having another thought: This is the kind of guy that I would like to be with. He seemed gentle, kind, and caring, and he obviously liked dogs. Plus, he was handsome and masculine looking. From that point on, I stayed open to the way that Mr. Right would show up in my life, resisting the urge to “make something happen” and having faith in the Universe, its timing, and its wisdom.

Then, one snowy winter morning, my doorbell rang, and there was my new neighbor asking me to take care of his dog because his doggy babysitter wasn’t available and he was called into work (he was a pilot on call). After he returned from work, I invited him in for coffee, and the rest, as they say, is history.

We fell in love and within a short period of time were an item. Two and a half years later we married. I just love this story. It’s a great reminder that, it’s not your job to know how or where or when you will your soulmate, but it is your job to tell the Universe exactly what you desire and then trust that it is already on the way to you.


Take time each day to feel what it feels like to be living your life with your soulmate. Experience the love, the joy, and the fun you will have together. Then give thanks and gratitude to the Universe/God/Goddess/All that Is, for delivering to you your perfect right partner.

If you need a little help getting into the right state of open-heartedness, please do this 5-minute “Heartlight” feelingization. You can download it for free at: www.soulmatesecret.com

Wishing you love, laughter, and magical kisses,

Arielle

My new book Wabi Sabi Love is now available!  Finding your Soulmate is just the beginning.  Read how successful couples keep the soulmate fire burning.  Receive a priceless bonus bundle of advanced love attraction resources and techniques when you order your copy right here:   Wabi Sabi Love

Buddy System for Love

Dear Soulmate Manifesters,

When we open to our most vulnerable feelings, needs and the desire to share our life with another (a most human desire), we may feel scared, intimidated, or maybe even hopeless. This is why I believe it’s really useful to find the perfect buddy to walk this path with you. We all want to feel supported, nurtured and understood and this is precisely the value of a buddy.

Your buddy may be someone who is also in the process of manifesting a soulmate or it can be someone who is looking for support in another area of their life. It can be a man or a woman, a close friend or someone relatively new to your life. The most important thing is that it’s someone you trust, feel safe with, and someone who can hold the vision of BIG LOVE for you, especially on the days when your faith may waver.

If the perfect buddy doesn’t immediately come to mind, ask yourself these questions:

-Who do I know that really wants to see me happy and in love?

-Does this person have my best interests at heart?

-Do I trust them?

-Would they take the time to work through the steps in The Soulmate Secret with me? (remember those steps work for manifesting more than just a soulmate)

If you still can’t figure out a great buddy, then ask that one be sent to you. Each day say a simple prayer of gratitude:

Dear God, Goddess and All that Is,
I give thanks that my perfect buddy has arrived in my life and is supporting my dreams with me.
And so it is.

I can’t imagine my life without my buddy, Peggy. Three mornings each weekwe get on the phone and share our hopes, dreams, wishes and projects for the week. We support each other and when necessary, hold each other accountable to accomplish what we say we are planning to do.

Today, give yourself the gift of a buddy.

Wishing you love, laughter and magical kisses,

Arielle

My new book Wabi Sabi Love is now available!  Finding your Soulmate is just the beginning.  Read how successful couples keep the soulmate fire burning.  Receive a priceless bonus bundle of advanced love attraction resources and techniques when you order your copy right here:   Wabi Sabi Love

You Don’t Have to Be Perfect to Attract a Soulmate

Dear Soulmate Manifesters,

My friend Bob Grant, has been a therapist and relationship coach for the past 17 years. Recently we were talking about the misconception by so many women (and some men) that they have to be “perfect” before they can attract a mate. Bob has a LOT to say about this and I thought I would share it with you:


You Don’t Have to Be Perfect to Attract a Man…

Perfect Is Overrated…I promise. Men don’t need a woman to be flawless to be attracted to her.

After years of listening to women in my private practice, many women seem to think that men expect nothing less than perfection. If you were to visit some popular men’s websites such as; (www.askmen.com) or (www.maximum.com) you would certainly think that unless a woman is both highly attractive and incredibly accommodating, that men have no interest. This is not really accurate. At least not in the way you might think.

I often illustrate this to women by asking this question:

“If you had a choice between two men and everything about them was exactly the same, with the exception of one being worth millions and one being poor, who would you prefer? Would you select the wealthy one, or the one who was poor?”

Answer: If they were equal in all other aspects, most women state that they would choose the wealthy gentleman. I mean, why not if everything else is equal?

Now when men hear this some are likely to say, “That’s right, all a woman cares about is a guy who makes a lot of money.” In fact, that conclusion would be incorrect. A man would be wrong to assume that just because a woman likes the characteristic of a man with money that she cannot love a man unless he is wealthy. In fact, most women I speak with tell me this, “It isn’t that he has to make a certain amount, but I would like to know that he has the potential to make enough for me to feel comfortable.” In fact, most women are willing and/or expect to help out financially.

This same standard applies to men. If given the choice between a woman whom they believe is very attractive, or one who appears to take no interest in her appearance, they will choose the attractive one. This doesn’t mean that they will only consider a woman who is striking. Take a look at most married men and you will see that plenty of women who would not be considered “perfect” have husbands who choose to marry them. Why would this be? The answer is that the quality of being authentic is actually more potent in the arena of love than perfection. Being authentic causes a woman to act in such a manner that is enchanting.

This woman is well aware that she has issues (don’t we all) and yet, she understands the balance between improving herself and being comfortable with where she is currently in her life. She doesn’t work hard at convincing others (i.e. men) that she is perfect. Rather she is very attune to the needs of her heart, and takes full responsibility for meeting those needs. Men find such a woman adorable.

Here’s an exercise that will illustrate my point. The next time you are in a crowded area take a moment and casually look around at the men. Take at least 5 minutes and you will find that the men are all looking at the women. ALL OF THE WOMEN!
They will be looking at the tall ones, short ones, skinny ones, curvy ones and on and on and on…. Don’t take my word for it. Try it and see for yourself.

You will discover that as a woman, you have exactly what men are looking for. .

My new book Wabi Sabi Love is now available!  Finding your Soulmate is just the beginning.  Read how successful couples keep the soulmate fire burning.  Receive a priceless bonus bundle of advanced love attraction resources and techniques when you order your copy right here:   Wabi Sabi Love

The 2010: The Destination of Your Dreams

Dear Soulmate Manifesters,

As we begin this New Year and new decade, I have made my BIG list for 2010 and shared it with my mastermind buddy, Peggy McColl. We are going to continue our practice of speaking three mornings each week to support each other in our goals and dreams. To inspire you to have your best year ever, I thought I would share with you my sister’s Huffington Post blog on how to make 2010 the Destination of Your Dreams.


The 2010: The Destination of Your Dreams
by Debbie Ford

It’s so easy to make promises about the year ahead. You will follow your diet, be more financially responsible, be kinder to your spouse, spend more time at the gym…But, for most, the promises you make today will be empty dreams six months from now. So let’s examine this. I would suggest this happens because real change doesn’t occur when you just want something or wish for another reality. Real change happens when you feel genuinely inspired, turned on by possibility and unwilling to settle for anything less. It happens when you commit with all of yourself to a new way of life, to a new future. So how do you do this?

To feel inspired and lit up and to make room for optimism, enthusiasm, and lasting change, you must lighten your emotional load by addressing your past issues, your emotional blocks, your negative beliefs, your feelings of unworthiness and any infantile desires that drive you to repeatedly head off in a direction counter to your dreams. If you drop your commitments, it is not because you want to be seen as a quitter or a loser but because unconsciously you are more committed to an outdated self — an old identity that feels comfortable and safe even though it might have stopped serving you years ago. Often, psychological laziness will have you switch your life over to autopilot and fall asleep at the wheel rather than stay awake to what will fulfill your heart’s deepest desires and your soul’s purpose.

On this eve of a new year, a very fertile time to look over your past and commit to a new future, you can ask these simple questions to unload some old baggage and steer your life in the direction of a brilliant and thrilling future — the ride of your life.

1) What are your deepest desires for this new year?

2) What are you willing to give up to get them? What habits, limiting beliefs, unhealthy relationships or situations?

3) When did you become unwilling to do whatever it takes to have what you want?

4) What cravings or unmet needs will drive you away from your desired destination?

5) What structure of support will you need to ensure this new future?

6) Who could you count on to be your co-pilot to ensure that you will neither fall short of the runway nor overshoot your desired outcome? Who will help you stay awake?

If you wish to fly to new heights, begin by setting your sights on a destination you can reach and then create a flight plan, a map that will be your guide. And if at any time you don’t feel like following your flight path, stop, take a deep breath, call forth your vision for your future, then pick up your phone, dial your co-pilot and ask them to remind you that veering off your route really isn’t worth the pain of repeating the past. Veering off will only leave you in the same repetitive pattern of wanting, wishing, fantasizing, and then feeling intensely disappointed when you land at a destination other than the phenomenal future that awaits you.

So today, YOU have the power to choose the destination of your dreams, create a flight plan and stick to it. So gather your courage, your strength and your commitment and get onboard, making 2010 the most inspiring year of your life. Join Debbie for a free 21-Day Consciousness Cleanse program, a daily boost, on Oprah.com This amazing 21-Day course will help you clear out any old, negative patterns that may have been stopping you from manifesting the love of your life.


Wishing you love, laughter and magical kisses,

Arielle

My new book Wabi Sabi Love is now available!  Finding your Soulmate is just the beginning.  Read how successful couples keep the soulmate fire burning.  Receive a priceless bonus bundle of advanced love attraction resources and techniques when you order your copy right here:   Wabi Sabi Love

My favorite birthday gifts of all time (I now gift to you)

Dear Soulmate Manifesters,

I thought I would share with you the best gifts I have ever received.

1) The gift of self-care and self-love. It took many years of therapy, self-help workshops, prayer, meditation and WILLINGNESS, but learning to love myself enough to take care of all of me – physically, emotionally and spiritually is the best gift ever. Receiving this gift, that I gave myself, is what allowed me to be ready to manifest Brian.

2) The gift of not taking anything personally. Big thanks to don Miguel Ruiz for writing The Four Agreements, which taught me to never take anything personally. Miguel says that “nothing others do is because of you. What others say and do is a projection of their own reality. When you are immune to the opinions and actions of others, you won’t be the victim of needless suffering.” Amen.

3) Learning to be quiet. I have learned that just because I have something to say (an opinion, judgment, point of view) doesn’t necessarily mean I need to share it. Sometimes by just staying quiet and letting others speak up is more “right” for me than trying to “be right” about something.

4) Choosing love over fear.When I think back to earlier years (especially in my 20’s and 30’s) when I would obsess about things and spin into a black hole of worry, I wish I knew then what I know now: that I and I alone control my thoughts and behaviors and that I always have a choice of choosing love over fear. Whew. Glad I finally got that gift.

I have two birthday wishes for this year: (1) that I continue to have even bigger and better opportunities to share my truth with all who wish to hear it: Big love is possible for everyone, at every age, if you are willing to put in a little time, attention and intention into your desires. (2) a trip to India in the Fall.

Wishing you love, laughter and magical kisses,

Arielle

p.s. if you go to a gas station that has TV screens by the pump, look for me during the month of January as a guest expert on Pump Top TV.

My new book Wabi Sabi Love is now available!  Finding your Soulmate is just the beginning.  Read how successful couples keep the soulmate fire burning.  Receive a priceless bonus bundle of advanced love attraction resources and techniques when you order your copy right here:   Wabi Sabi Love