The Big Lie: All You Need Is Love
We all know the Beatles tune, All You Need Is Love, which has hypnotized generations to believe that when it comes to romance, love conquers all.
All You Need Is Love is right up there with the Disney films and fairytales that sold us on “with love comes happily ever after.”
If this was true, the divorce rate for first marriages wouldn’t be over 50% (and second marriage divorce rate is 62% and, it’s 71% for third marriages.)
So, if love isn’t enough to make a relationship work, what is?
Before we get into that…
Imagine, you have a passion for Victorian-style houses, and you have decided NOW is the time to buy a home.
You find a house that from the outside is super cute in style and neighborhood.
From the outside you are already falling in love with the house.
The broker takes you on a tour and they are trying to wow you with all the best features of the home such as original moldings, a working fireplace, etc.
At first glance the house appears to be a good fit for you.
The home has the right number of bedrooms and bathrooms (all on the small side) and there are some obvious changes you want to make: You don’t love the color of the paint on the walls. The closets are very small and there isn’t enough storage space for your things.
The floors are old and creaky. The kitchen is dated and needs a remodel, but if you buy the house, it will be a long time before you have the extra money to do the updates.
Buying a home will be one of the most important decisions of your life.
On the outside, this house looks like what you have always dreamed of.
And you have a fear, a limiting belief, that there aren’t many Victorian homes for sale where you live. But you love how the house looks despite the many compromises you’d have to make. You begin trying to convince yourself that you can be happy in this home.
There is no one holding a gun to your head saying you must buy a house right now.
But in this scenario, you’ve decided now is the time to buy, even though you already know that in spite of loving how the exterior looks, the interior is coming with some real structural issues.
Have you ever done this with a relationship?
Most of us have. We’ve found someone that looked like our dream person, the red flags appeared, and yet we were willing to ignore the red flags hoping that we could change the man/woman into our dream life partner.
And you probably now regret wasting a lot of time.
In our quest to manifest our soulmate/life partner, it’s essential that we look beyond the physical and superficial and carefully take the time to make sure you two have shared values, a shared vision for the future, along with connection, compatibility, chemistry, and good communication.
Homes can be torn down, remodeled and fixed up. Most adults come fully formed and unlikely to change.
Wishing you love, laughter and magical kisses,
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