Tag Archives: suffering

Are You Addicted To Suffering?

Posted by Jul 5, 2011 , , Leave a Comment

I’ve noticed that some people are actually addicted to suffering…they’ve been living in the pain of their “poor me” story for so long that they just can’t let it go. I’m pretty sure they aren’t even aware that they are attached to suffering.

Recently my friend Kute Blackson wrote a beautiful blog on this topic that I want to share with you now:

Suffering can become a very dangerous addiction. An unhealthy way to feel. An ultimately unfulfilling way to feel alive. You can get so used to suffering that it becomes comfortable and familiar. Suffering is the ego’s way of feeling important.

Whether you are a businessman or a buddha, pain is inevitable. There is no way to avoid it. Just by virtue of being in a human body there will be some pain. Trying to avoid pain will only create more suffering. Embrace pain to release yourself from suffering.

Suffering is optional. Suffering is a choice.

Suffering comes from your story about what is happening in your life and less about what is actually happening. What is happening is simply what is happening. The suffering part comes from all your interpretations and meanings about the experience.

Change your story and the way you are interpreting reality and you begin to change your reality. When you change your reality within yourself you shift your experience of your reality outside. Once you understand this, you only suffer if you choose to.

What stories are you telling yourself about your life, your partner, your current experience that is causing you suffering?

Here are 7 Keys to creating suffering:

Continue reading →

Pain vs. Suffering in Love

Posted by Apr 14, 2011 , , , , , Leave a Comment

I have known the excruciating pain of heartbreak and lately I’ve been thinking a lot about the reality and concept of suffering and how the words “pain and suffering” are so often linked together. Having experienced a lot of both in my life, here’s what I’ve learned so far: Pain is unavoidable, but do we have a choice about suffering?

Years ago, after a particularly bad breakup, I remember feeling as if a 747 jumbo jet had crash-landed in the middle of my chest. The pain was nearly unbearable and at times I felt like I would die. Crushed and hopeless, I wondered how I would survive.

I was indeed in pain and I was suffering.

Strange as it might sound, I am beyond grateful for that incident. It paved the way for the life I have today. Through that experience, I became clear about the traits and qualities I wanted in a soulmate and the level of commitment I desired in a relationship. The pain was real and unavoidable, but I now see that the suffering part might have been optional.

If (and I know this is a big IF), I had been able to understand that I was in the heart of a learning curve about love and relationships, and had I known that the pain would eventually dissipate and ultimately lead me to my greatest joy, then I think the suffering would have been a choice (at least to some degree).

I share this with you in the spirit of shining a light on whatever painful areas of your life you are now experiencing. You may want to write in your journal and begin a dialogue with your pain and see if you can find the future gifts it will bring you. Then ask the part of you that is suffering how and where you can find relief and even…..entertain the possibility of excitement about the future you can co-create with the Universe.

Want to try a Magical Manifesting Tool?  Click Here for the Love Mandala and magnetize yourself to Love: Send My Mandala

My new book Wabi Sabi Love is now available!  Finding your Soulmate is just the beginning.  Read how successful couples keep the soulmate fire burning.  Receive a priceless bonus bundle of advanced love attraction resources and techniques when you order your copy right here:   Wabi Sabi Love