Romance, Food & Your Appetite for Love & Life

Dating, whether you love it or loathe it, is an indispensable part of the soulmate manifestation process (and regular date nights are essential once you are a couple). Eventually, there will be a “first dinner date.” What you order will let him or her know if you have a healthy appetite for love and life.

On these early dates, we want to let our large appetite for life, our enthusiasm for life, really shine through as much as possible.

For those of you with gluten or other sensitivities (I fall into this category), it might be best just to order something you know is “safe” for you to eat rather than engage in a big conversation with the server, which will lead to a talk about your various ailments which might make you appear “high maintenance.”

If you are vegan or vegetarian, no problem, as long as you aren’t sitting in judgment if your date orders a steak. If you are a strident vegan, and you can’t watch anyone eat meat products, that is something to figure out BEFORE you go out on a dinner date.

For those of you “foodies” out there… be adventurous and let your date know that you love trying new things.  Foodies need to find each other!

One other thought:  Judging how someone else eats, even if you believe they are harming themselves, is toxic to you, not them.

What got me thinking about all of this was a blog I recently read by Katie Oldenburg (via The Frisky) on this topic.  Here’s what she thinks your first date food order says about you… you decide for yourself!

Anything With Garlic: I have no self-awareness or foresight … or I don’t like you.

Tacos: I’m impulsive and a short-term thinker.

Burger And Fries: I want something delicious because I’m hungry. It’s not glamorous and you may judge me for it, so go ahead.

Buffalo Wings: I’m adventurous and not afraid of getting down and dirty.

Pasta: I’m a romantic. There’s something seductive about a savory plate of pasta, as long as sauce isn’t dripping all over the place.

Steak: I’m dominant and powerful. Anybody who wants to slice into a big filet with a steak knife says “I’m in control” (and maybe that attitude will spill into the bedroom later on).

Chicken: I play it safe. May be perceived as boring.

Pizza: I’m down-to-earth. I’m not too uppity, but I also might not be very adventurous.

Meatloaf: I’m not here to impress you. There’s nothing impressive or sexy about meatloaf, therefore there’s nothing impressive or sexy about this date.

Quesadilla: I’m fun, easy going and playful.

Surf And Turf: I’m fancy, sort of materialistic and don’t care about money, because you’re paying.

Salmon: I like you and consider your feelings. I chose a lean piece of fish that’s not too smelly or hearty, tastes good and is classy.

Chicken Fingers: I am a child trapped in an adult’s body and am unaware that you’re probably judging me.

One last thought.  When I was dating, I would generally eat something before going out to dinner, because I didn’t want anyone to see just how ravenous I can become when I get hungry and I am a super sloppy, messy eater.  I would generally order something that I liked ”enough” that wouldn’t end up all over me or them.

Wishing you love, laughter, and magical kisses,

Arielle

Mindful Resolutions for a Happier 2019

Did you glide through 2018 with a big smile on your face?

Was 2018 a year of grace and ease under pressure?

If not, here are some amazing tips for a kinder, gentler 2019.

My friend Julie Potiker, author of  “Life Falls Apart, but You Don’t Have To: Mindful Methods for Staying Calm In the Midst of Chaos,” offers super useful tips to make sure 2019 is a year of serenity and mindfulness.

  1. Take In the Good: In 2019, turn your focus toward experiencing the fullness of every beautiful, joyful, silly, fun, or wonderful experience you have. Savor the positive mental state for a few moments to create new neural bridges; what fires together, wires together! By letting the good feelings land, you are pushing the mental state into a neural trait, resulting in a happier brain.

 

  1. Label Negative Emotions: Practice R.A.I.N. When you experience anger, frustration, sadness, or any other negative emotion, recognize it by saying, “Oh, that’s anger” (or whatever the emotion is) coming up right now.” The mere mention of the emotion calms down the brain. Then allow it to be there for a few moments while you gently investigate why it’s there. Finally, nourish yourself by looking inward and asking what you need to hear or do right now to help yourself feel better.

 

  1. Do What Gives You Joy: Life is full of emotional chaos, but bringing it back to focused activities that give joy to your soul can mean the difference between making or breaking it day to day, year to year. Take a few minutes to write down a list of everything you can think of that brings you joy — little things and big things alike — then commit to doing one thing from that list every day.

 

  1. Get Grounded: When you feel anxiety ramping up, focus your attention downward and feel your feet on the floor. Breathe deeply, keeping your focus on the sensation of your feet (i.e., bare, in socks or shoes, whatever — feel it all, just as it is) on the floor. This is an instant tool to break the cycle of anxiety.

 

  1. Transform Suffering Into Love (Tonglen): When you experience suffering — whether from a personal tragedy, an international one, or anything in between — use the Receiving-Sending meditation to transform that suffering into love. Breathe in the pain and sorrow; breathe out love and compassion. Breathe in the suffering; breathe out peace.

 

This year, let mindfulness help you become more resilient. Feel your frustration or disappointment or whatever it is that comes up for you, then turn to one of your Mindful Methods tools to comfort yourself, as you would comfort a dear friend. You are that dear friend! You can enjoy the present more without ruminating on the past or worrying as much about the future.

I would suggest you print these out and post somewhere as a daily reminder!

Wishing you love, laughter and magical kisses,

Arielle

P.S. Julie is hosting at nonprofit retreat center A Ship In the Woods in Escondido, CA. She is donating all proceeds from ticket sales and onsite book sales to the A Ship In the Woods 501(c)(3) charitable organization.  Please visit:

The Importance of Beauty

More than 30 years ago, a new friend invited me to her apartment for a visit.  As we sat in her cozy living room, she served me tea in a delicate china cup that was placed on a beautiful mahogany tray that held a tiny silver teaspoon, a small plate of petit fours, a shiny silver vase holding one perfectly shaped pink rose, and a white lace trimmed cloth napkin. I felt like I was having high tea with royalty!

I told her she shouldn’t have gone to all the trouble as I would have been just as happy with a mug of tea and a paper napkin. She smiled sweetly and said to me, “Darling, this is how I serve myself tea every day.” This elegant woman then explained to me that life is short and that we must insist on having as much beauty as possible in our lives, in every way possible.  

When I left her home I immediately went to Bed, Bath and Beyond and bought myself two trays, six linen napkins, two small matching vases to begin living beautifully myself. (Fortunately, I already had some inherited china teacups.) Since that day, when at home, I rarely use paper napkins.

A few years later I became friends with another woman, who worked mostly from home.  Whenever I would visit her, she was always meticulously turned out: hair, makeup, clothing, and jewelry to match. I asked her why she went to so much trouble since most days she never saw anyone else. She explained to me that she considered herself a work of art and each day she reveled in putting herself together as colorfully and stylishly as possible.

As someone who works from home, most days I am in my yoga pants, hair in a ponytail and makeup-free unless I have a Skype or Zoom interview, but at least a few days a week I make an effort to consider myself a work of art and invest a little more time into my appearance.

In Italy, one of my favorite place on earth, they actually have a lifestyle describing this, it’s called ‘bella figura’ and it basically means making every area of your life as beautiful as it can be.

I would love to know how you add more beauty to your life!

Wishing you love, laughter, and magical kisses,

Arielle

Love, Life and What Is Most Needed

One day, many years ago, Brian and I were in Tiffany’s, simply browsing all the pretty shiny and sparkling things.  As we looked through the glass cabinet at a diamond bracelet, a very elegant man in a suit, behind the counter, asked if I would like to try it on.  I immediately said to him: “Oh no thanks, I certainly don’t need anything like this.”

His instant reply floored me: “Madam, this is not about “need,” this is all about “want.”

He was right, and in that moment he gave me a distinction I had never thought about: the difference between “need” vs. “want.”

Our basic needs: air, food, water, shelter, security are obviously the most important ones and essential to life.

But, what about everything else?

Some examples:

cars2I want to eat cheesecake, red velvet cupcakes, macadamia nut chocolate chip cookies and gobs of pasta.  I am gluten and sugar sensitive, so I need to eat healthy foods. The choice is up to me.  My “wants” can hurt me.

I want to drive the big, expensive Tesla sedan.  And, I work from home and only need a very small car to get to the market in.

Now, does that mean I can’t ever have my “wants?”

No, of course not, but knowing the difference is very useful when making decisions (And, I indulge my sweet tooth nearly every day, but I limit myself to 3 small bites.)

For those of you seeking your soulmate, it’s often hard to discern between a want and a need.  One way to do it is to ask yourself this question: “Will this want/need contribute to my long-term happiness?”  If this answer is yes, then I would put it in the “need” category.

I have learned over the years that the more I let go of my “wants” and get comfortable and committed to handling my needs, knowing that I always have “enough” makes my life easier, more fun and certainly more peaceful.

Wishing you love, laughter, and magical kisses,

Arielle

 

P.S. If your heart’s desire is to manifest the love of your life, and you are willing to dedicate your time, attention and intention to making it happen, then I invite you to join me August 19-21 at the beautiful Omega Institute to discover how to quickly and easily make it happen! (This is the only time this year I am offering this weekend workshop)