Today I want to share a special story with you from my friend Debbie Lynn Grace. Debbie explains why so many people are “over-givers,” and what’s behind the urge to do that. Whether you are single, or in any kind of relationship in which you are over-giving, please read this.
When I was a child I wanted to be like everybody else. To fit in. To belong. I would look at all the kids around me and try to be like them so I would get accepted. And yet, no matter how much I tried, I had a label that followed me around and always made me feel different. I was called “too sensitive.” I could sense things or people around me that weren’t right. I would cry easily. And I would try to express my feelings, but all I got in return for my vulnerability was being told I’m too sensitive.
What I didn’t know at the time, is that there are people all over the world who are like me are called Highly Sensitive People. In fact, it’s been estimated that up to 20% of the population are born with a different wiring in your brain that results in you experiencing your senses more acutely than other people
Unfortunately, this knowledge wasn’t known then, so I had to figure out how to fit in through my own logic. I learned that if I couldn’t be like everybody else, then at least I could make people happy. I figured if I made them happy, then they would like me and not tease me.
By the time I entered the dating world, I really wanted a loving mate. And it came naturally to me to show my love for a man by being the giver. While I have a generous nature, I would unconsciously take giving to the extreme. I would look for ways to make my man happy and in the process, didn’t have any clue how to RECEIVE from the man and allow him to make me happy. And then when the man left, I’d wonder what was wrong with me.
Being an “over-giver” is a very common way that some one who is Highly Sensitive uses to cope with their sensitive nature. It’s a completely unconscious act, because we really do want others to be happy. Unfortunately, when you give to the point of depletion, especially in a personal relationship, you don’t allow yourself to receive. Which is the very thing you want – to receive love from your mate (and your friends, family and co-workers.)
Through my own personal development and upon discovering my true gift as an intuitive, I have not only come to peace with being a highly sensitive person. I embrace it as the beautiful gift that God bestowed upon me. And it led me to my life’s work to help others who are highly sensitive learn how to embrace their sensitive nature, have simple tools that help with their sensitivities, and to have thriving, loving relationships and an abundant and fulfilling life.
If you know that you are a “highly sensitive person” or an empath and have struggled in any aspect of your life because of your sensitive nature, I invite you to join me on October 18th for a call on “The Four Step Life Success Formula for Highly Sensitive People!” Click here to get complimentary access to the live webinar.
Wishing you love, laughter and magical kisses,