Arielle Ford, author of The Soulmate Secret: Manifest The Love of Your Life With The Law of Attraction and her husband Brian Hilliard, a business consultant, answer your questions about life, love and relationships. They believe that whether you are eighteen or eighty years old finding Big Love is always possible. Email your questions to: firstname.lastname@example.org
Dear Arielle and Brian:
I have been in a relationship for nearly five years. I feel very safe, comfortable and care deeply for this person. He loves me unconditionally and he is there for me more than anyone I have ever been with. The problem is that I don’t feel like he is my “soul mate”. How do I know if he is the ONE?
First of all Virginia, we would like to take this moment to really honor what you’ve manifested in your relationship over the last five years with your partner. Those wonderful attributes of safety and comfort are extremely nourishing and extremely rewarding. And for you to care for somebody as much as you do and to have somebody LOVE you unconditionally are a blessing and certainly a solid foundation for a LOVING relationship.
To assist you with your question, “How do I know if he is the ONE?“, we would ask you to please shift your attention and feelings to your heart regarding yourself and your partner. If it helps focus your breath and the experience of something or someone you feel infinite love for into your heart for 10 seconds or so and then send that love, care and appreciation to yourself and your partner (The Institute Of HeartMath refers to this effective technique as Heart Lock-ins). This will add buoyancy and regenerative energy to your entire system as well as to allow you to get in touch with a perspective of greater clarity and expanded awareness. Now, if you’re comfortable, please look and “feel into” your partner as “Soul” or as some might refer to as “essence.” With this deeper recognition we have a unique opportunity to realize (and feel) that our relationship can potentially be unconditional and limitless. Connecting with each other’s Soul or essence gives us the sacred opportunity to reveal our deeper selves and therefore communicate our deepest fears and insecurities to each other. Communicating those vulnerabilities from our hearts feeds us, supports us and nurtures our ability to love our partners and ourselves more than we ever imagined. It will also help you (with honesty and courage) to look at the possibility that you have projected your own fears, judgments and unfair demands and expectations onto the relationship. If you have found this to be true please be easy and gentle with yourself but use that reservoir of love you have been building up through your Heart Lock-ins and direct that frequency of love to dissolve those energies around your fears and anxieties as well as “take out” some of the significance of those judgments and any feelings of anger and despair if that might be weighing you down. You might begin to see the issues and dynamics impacting your relationship in a different light and therefore respond quite differently to each interaction or potential conflict. There is a good chance you could even see your partner in an entirely different light as well—-maybe even as THE ONE!!!!
Virginia, Romantic Soul Love is the doorway through which we can become bigger-our lives, our laughter, and most definitely the LOVE the two of you will share. But wherever this sacred journey takes you we only wish for you Big, Big Love. Every once in a while take your wonderful guy by the hand and let loose with some big FUN—-you might even consider “Dancing Under The Stars” or “Taking a Walk in the Rain”–however daring you want to be just hold onto each other’s hands and dive into the infinite “Ocean of Love and Mercy” with this beautiful guy and commit to open up your heart a little more every step of the way and see what happens!!! Something in the process might just shift and you could find yourself in the grips of “BIG LOVE.”
Arielle & Brian
Arielle Ford has spent the past 25 years living and promoting consciousness through all forms of media. She is one of the founding partners of the Spiritual Cinema Circle, a DVD club dedicated to providing movies about love and compassion. She is the author of seven books including the HOT CHOCOLATE FOR THE MYSTICAL SOUL series and her newest book THE SOULMATE SECRET: Manifest The Love of Your Life With The Law of Attraction. Her husband and soulmate Brian Hilliard is a business consultant with a life-long interest in spirituality and the practice of compassion. They live in La Jolla, CA www.soulmatesecret.com
Disclaimer: Arielle Ford, Brian Hilliard, the Big Love column and its publishers assume no responsibility for any consequence relating directly or indirectly to any action or inaction you take based on the information, services or other material related to this column.