Hi Arielle and Brian,

My name is Sharon. I am 42 years old. I have practiced some sort of metaphysics since I was in my teens. The last 15 years I have been mainly focused on manifesting my soul mate. During these many years, I have felt angry and discouraged many times because he is still not here.

The surprising thing is, every time I became angry and discouraged I felt that even though it was not working I had no other choice but to move forward because I had learned a little bit more and it was impossible to live in that place that I passed again. Also, I knew the past was filled with pain and did not see much sense in returning to a place that did not work before.

I have read tons of books, made many, many list that at least 10 years old. I have meditated, you name it and I have done it and is still doing it. I continue to use “new aged” techniques to manifest my soul mate because I do believe they work and have realized just how much they have helped me grow into the person who I know is now ready and deserves the man and type of marriage that I seek.

Everything else in my life is great. I just have this deep longing for my soul mate and the type of marriage I know is right for me even though I did not see any examples around me growing up. I do meet men often but, I am unwilling to go out on dates just for the sake of going out or being in a relationship with a man that I know is not right for me.

I feel comfortable identifying men that I cannot envision having the type of marriage I know I deserve and desire since, I have learned through my practice to be very honest with myself and to look at the not so nice parts of my personality and determine whether I am what I am asking the Universe to bring to me.

My question is, what additional work do I need to do within to manifest my soul mate?

Regards,

Sharon

Hi Sharon,

Before we get started we just want to give you thanks and praise for the commitment and discipline you’ve had over the years to grow as a person and open your heart to all the possibilities this wonderful journey has to offer. We also commend you for the discernment you’ve used as well as relying on your intuition in not jumping into a relationship that didn’t feel right to you. It is a beautiful example so many of us could follow.

Sharon, please consider this suggestion to add to your repertoire—continue to do all the great things you’re doing to explore your deeper self, continue to shine a light on your shadow self and please stick with all the exercises and prescriptions in THE SOULMATE SECRET. But do the work with this intention–”I’m going to have as much FUN as I possibly can!” So the next time you feel discouraged or angered move into your heart space and send yourself, your friends and the world more love. This will lighten your load and immediately lift your spirits. You might even consider going out on those dates you’ve turned down in the past just to have more fun and develop more friendships.. It feels like your intuition is well tuned (for knowing who the “right” guy is for you) so having a good time only benefits you and the world. And who knows maybe after the 3rd or 4th date the sparks might fly!!!!! Wouldn’t that be fun Sharon??? And please honestly reassess your definition of marriage—it might be just right but it might also be that you’ve set the “bar” a little too high for any man to jump over. It always works best when you can create enough space of love, acceptance and trust for the man to grow into his higher self and allow him to find his way and (most importantly) follow your guidance in this process as well. You’ll never have that opportunity if the checklist is too long or your demands are unrealistic.

Sharon-you are an amazing person and just “know’ your Soulmate is close by—so be as patient as possible because spirit has no timetable and do your best to detach from any results, expectations or expected outcomes and trust the Universe will support you in delivering your Soulmate to you…in the meantime have as much FUN as your heart desires!!! You obviously deserve Big Love in your life!!

love,
Arielle and Brian

Dear Arielle & Brian,

I have been fortunate enough to come across your recent work, The Soulmate Secret. The guidance you provide is sound and amazingly simple. The ideas suggest much of what the Hindu religion teaches, of which I am a faithful follower. I find it very refreshing!

I hope to further seek your insight on a question that may innately seem contrary to what you are trying to teach in your book, but plagues me nonetheless. As I was reading, I kept wondering to myself, why are there individuals whom love seems to elude, but then there are others who–without the use of feng shui, living as if, or any of the other suggestions you offer–just find, with minimal to no effort, what most of us are searching for? At the risk of sounding ungrateful, it is frustrating and unfair to know that without having done anything wrong, someone like myself is put in the position of constantly wanting something that just falls into many others’ laps.

I have discussed the issue at great lengths with a few of my close friends, and while comforting and supportive, there has been little progress in my journey towards coming to terms with this disparity and understanding it for what it is. I am hoping you might be able to find a moment to share with me your thoughts on the matter.

I do appreciate your time and I look forward to hearing from you!

Regards,

Mallika

Hi Mallika,

We think the simple answer is Karma. Please continue to be grateful for your beauty, intuition and intelligence and TRUST that there is good reason why it isn’t “easy” and “know” that YOU DO have the power to manifest the love of your life. Also be patient and know that you are not in charge–SPIRIT is and it does not operate in our time/space dimension.

We would suggest focusing more on your own personal growth, nurture more and more self love and “FEELING’ what it will be like when that Beautiful, Aware, Conscious, Loving Man shows up for you in such a big way that it will immediately dissolve any time to wonder or worry about what other people are doing with their love lives–you will be having too much fun living out your own dreams.

Mallika, please know we’re your biggest fans and that we’re holding a powerful loving intention that your Soulmate is nearby and your hearts will connect soon.

Wishing you love, laughter and magical kisses,
Arielle and Brian

Arielle Ford has spent the past 25 years living and promoting consciousness through all forms of media. She is one of the founding partners of the Spiritual Cinema Circle, a DVD club dedicated to providing movies about love and compassion. She is the author of seven books including the HOT CHOCOLATE FOR THE MYSTICAL SOUL series and her newest book THE SOULMATE SECRET: Manifest The Love of Your Life With The Law of Attraction. Her husband and soulmate Brian Hilliard is a business consultant with a life-long interest in spirituality and the practice of compassion. They live in La Jolla, CA www.soulmatesecret.com

Disclaimer: Arielle Ford, Brian Hilliard, the Big Love column and its publishers assume no responsibility for any consequence relating directly or indirectly to any action or inaction you take based on the information, services or other material related to this column.

The BIGGEST Mistake Women Make with Men (without even realizing it!)

Gina is a great coach. She’s smart, beautiful, and successful. She’s well traveled and well respected. She has great friends. Gina’s life is full.

Gina loves to make people feel special. She loves sharing ideas and giving advice.

When Gina meets a man she likes, she gives him phone calls, little gifts, and often her body without asking for anything in return.

Gina is a generous woman.

Gina thinks by giving more, she’ll be more appreciated and loved. (Her friends adore her.)

But guess what?

Gina’s giving is preventing her from getting what she wants most…a successful, intimate romantic relationship.

Gina thinks the more she gives to a man, the more he will appreciate her and want her. Gina is sadly mistaken.

Little boys may appreciate what Gina offers, but a real man does not want a generous woman. No matter how much he says he does.

Oh, he will snack for a while. (Is there a man among us who doesn’t enjoy free treats?)

But he won’t fall in love.

So when Gina gives more by doing for him, performing for him, giving him ideas and advice, he doesn’t love it. He resents it. He finds it disrespectful.

And ultimately, he leaves.

Most men do not wake up in the morning and thank God for sending a woman to tell him what to do.

Men cannot fall in love with women who give too much.

Men fall in love with women who love themselves first and know how to give back in appreciation.

Men must “do good” to “feel good”.

Women must “feel good” to “do good”.

(Think about this for a moment.)

If you are “doing good” for someone without “feeling good” about it, you are giving too much. (Unless of course, you are a man.) (There are many “men” in women’s bodies.)

When we give equally to a man, we neutralize the chemistry.

When we give more, we block intimacy.

When we give less and appreciate what he offers, we fall in love.

So the next time you want to give to a man you like…your date, your husband, your teenage son…

Ask yourself, “Am I giving too much?”

If the answer is “yes”, then stop what you are doing (or saying) and wait for him to give you something. (It could be a compliment, a dinner invitation or a piece of advice, whatever…)

Then say “thank you”.

It can be uncomfortable to receive what a man has to offer. (Especially since it will never be how or what you would give.) (Ever.)

But it is important to acknowledge him and say “thanks”. (At the very least, he is giving you information about who he is.)

When you stop giving too much and learn to appreciate and respect what a man can give…you will be rewarded! (Big time!)

Dear Soulmate Manifesters,

Greetings! I’m Carol Allen, relationship coach and Vedic astrologer. Arielle and her soulmate, Brian, are on vacation so she’s graciously asked me to share with you some of what I’ve discovered in my almost two decades of working with single women looking for their BIG LOVE (as Arielle calls it…).

Sadly, I see the same things needlessly stop otherwise fantastic singles again and again.

So perhaps you’ve noticed these issues in your own love life:
1. You don’t TRULY believe that your dream partner can be found and will want you, too.

2. You aren’t TRULY on a MISSION to make your dreams of love come true, thinking it should all magically “work out” – so you take too little action, or the wrong action.

3. You let the pain of things not going the way you’d hoped eclipse the vision of what you want, causing you to spiral back through #1 and #2…
Any of that sound familiar?

Well, here’s the good news – all of that can change with just one thing – INFORMATION. Seriously, the right information is the key to everything you want. But most people don’t have a clue what to do to change their single status, so they run on the wrong assumptions, fears, and outmoded ideas causing them to make choices and engage in behaviors that then virtually guarantee they’ll stay single.

You need to know things like:
– The top four places women meet their husbands.
– The top two reasons men stop calling.
– The #1 mindset you MUST have to create attraction.
– How to tell if a guy is right for you by date #2, before you’ve lost your heart…

I’ve put this and so much more into a CD/DVD program that I promise will make a massive, positive difference in the way you meet, date, and mate with men. Best of all, Arielle is one of three amazing guest speakers sharing her soulmate secrets for manifesting love, and some of her favorite success stories. (She ROCKED the house…)

To learn more about it, or to sign up for my free astrology and love newsletter, click here: CAROL ALLEN

It’s great you’re turning to resources like Arielle for inspiration and support. You truly can have all that you desire, you just need to believe it, go on a “love mission” making the right effort, and keep the faith no matter what…

Wishing you BIG LOVE!

Carol Allen

Planet Earth took a big hit with the loss of Michael Jackson. So much of his music was the soundtrack for various times in my life that it’s hard to comprehend that he’s gone. As I watched the news and the replays of some of his amazing performances, I began to wonder, “who was Michael Jackson’s soulmate?”

Many of you already know that I believe we get more than one soulmate in a lifetime and that we bring in soulmates of many different flavors: romantic, friendship, business partners, children, pets and more. My definition of a soulmate is simply this: It’s someone you can completely be yourself with. Someone whom you love unconditionally and they love you unconditionally. And, when you look into their eyes you have the experience of being at home.

In the book EAT PRAY LOVE, Elizabeth Gilbert defines a soulmate this way: “People think a soulmate is your perfect fit, and that’s what everyone wants. But a true soulmate is a mirror, the person who shows you everything that’s holding you back, the person who brings you to your own attention so you can change your life. A true soulmate is probably the most important person you’ll ever meet, because they tear down your walls and smack you awake. Soulmates come into your life just to reveal another level of yourself to you, and then they leave.” (thanks Moira for this reminder)

I put the question, ‘Who was Michael Jackson’s soulmate?’ on my Facebook page and here are some of the responses that came back: Elizabeth Taylor (the most popular response), Deepak Chopra, Macaulay Caulkin, Lisa Marie Presley, his music, Diana Ross, Liza Minelli, Donna Summer, Bubbles (his pet chimpanzee) and his children. Only Michael can say who his soulmates in life were but I think his untimely passing is a strong reminder of just how precious life is. Whether or not you have manifested your romantic soulmate, you can spend time everyday sharing your love with the friends, family, neighbors, co-workers and strangers in your life. And finally, be sure to share that big heart full of love you possess on yourself! Every time you pass a mirror, blow yourself a kiss and say out loud, “I love you and you look marvelous!”

Wishing you love, laughter and Magical Kisses,

Arielle

Is love definable? For some, love is a sentiment. For many, love is a behavior. For others love is a bartering tool. For me, love is the most delicious thing in the world. On Friday night Brian and I went to Los Angeles to experience the purest form of unconditional love that we know about, being in the presence of Amma, the hugging saint from India.

A dozen years ago I went to receive a hug from Amma and asked her to heal my heart of anything “that might stop me from finding my soulmate.” A year later (June 22, 1998) she married Brian and I in a Hindu ceremony.

Amma has blessed more than 28 million people around the world by hugging them. That alone is an amazing feat. She often sits for 12 hours or more hugging people, wiping away their tears, laughing with them, feeding them chocolates. But that is only part of her mission. Amma is one of the greatest humanitarians of our time. She builds hospitals, schools, orphanages, old age homes and so much more. After the Tsunami in 2004 she donated millions and helped rebuild entire villages.

Her mission is all about seva – selfless service.

One of the things I enjoy most about being in Amma’s presence is watching how her face lights up each time someone new is sitting before her. She smiles broadly and her eyes twinkle with delight as if to say “you are the most precious, wonderful being I have ever set eyes on.” It is simply amazing to witness, experience and most importantly, feel her unconditional love.

Between now and the end of July, Amma will be visiting New Mexico, Boston Toronto, Dallas, Chicago, Iowa, New York and Washington, DC. The hugs are free. For details, please visit www.amma.org

Wishing you love, laughter and Amma’s hugs,

Arielle

Everyday I am blessed to hear from readers of The Soulmate Secret Most of the time they share happy news about new love beginning to blossom. Sometimes I hear from those of you who are “doing everything but without results.” If that sounds like you, hear are some gentle suggestions:

1) Stop trying. This isn’t about trying, doing, wishing or hoping. It’s about being and sometimes it’s hard to BE when you are caught up in wanting.

2) Take some time off. Give yourself a break. Decide that for the next week, or month, or three months you are going to take your attentionoff of your love life completely and focus on having as much fun as possible. I recently decided to take off the entire summer from worrying. I even wrote a vow for myself:
This summer I will take time everyday to really enjoy my favorite season. I will consciously take more time to appreciate the sun, the views, the warm breezes, the freshest produce, everything. Most importantly, I am giving up WORRYING until after Labor Day. My heart is open, loving, carefree and I am SMILING 🙂

3) Engage a short-term therapist, counselor or coach to explore the possibility that you have some emotional blocks left to clear. Maybe you do, maybe you don’t, either way the support can’t hurt.

4) Stop judging yourself and the process and give yourself the love and attention you deserve.

5) Surrender to Divine Timing.

6) Spend some time in meditation, silence, nature or ideally all three.

7) Create a summer project. Choose one person in your life that could benefit from your attention and shower them with love, appreciation, gratitude.

Remember to breathe and nourish your soul this summer. Often the key to manifesting is to completely surrender and trust and know that love is already yours.

Wishing you love, laughter and magical kisses,

Arielle

The newest addition to our family is a rescue kitty that we brought home three years ago.  Back then, he was a tiny little thing with giant ears, a roaring purr and an other-worldly look about him that inspired his name – Yoda.  Our first night together was torture.  He meowed all night long, which was deeply upsetting to our two other cats, Rumi and Felix.  I had hoped they would embrace young Yoda like a long-lost little brother who needed their comfort and nurturing – but, unfortunately, that was not yet to be.  Thankfully, within a few days Yoda adapted to his new digs, but Rumi and Felix still went out of their way to avoid him.

We don’t know anything about Yoda’s earliest days except that he had been abandoned.  In spite of these inauspicious beginnings, Yoda boldly approached his two feline brothers with an attitude of eager expectation, as if he were absolutely convinced of his innate lovability and it was only a matter of time before the rest of us recognized it as well.  We quickly nicknamed Yoda our “pleasure pig” because the little guy has an amazing ability to elicit love from everyone around him. When Brian or I are not cuddling and stroking him, he is nuzzled up to the older cats to be licked and groomed.

This morning, as I watched Yoda enthusiastically park himself next to Felix, I realized that even though Felix still occasionally swats at or ignores Yoda, most of the time he just automatically begins to groom his little brother.  In his funny feline way, Yoda is the perfect example of the art of “living as if,” which I explain in detail in The Soulmate Secret.   Unlike many of us humans, Yoda knows that there is plenty of love in the world and that he is worthy of giving and receiving that love.  Unburdened by the pain of the past, he joyfully anticipates that the love he feels toward his new feline brothers will be returned.  And the vast majority of the time, it is!

If you choose, you can take a lesson from wise Yoda:  Be the loving person that you are; live in the knowingness that you deserve to have a loving, committed relationship; and take every opportunity to let love in – even if it comes to you in the form of a cat.

Dear Soulmate Manifesters,

Carol Allen & soulmate Bill

If you’ve read my book, “The Soulmate Secret” you may remember that right after I met Brian I had my Vedic astrologer look at both of our charts. He said that our relationship is “the most fated he’d ever seen,” and he predicted we would get married. Eventually he even selected our wedding dates. (We had three weddings!)

In case you were wondering, what the heck is Vedic astrology? It’s the ancient system of astrology from India and it’s AMAZING for looking at relationships and compatibility. In fact, it’s still used by the majority of the Hindu population to arrange marriages. They do what I did, call their astrologer to see if a marriage candidate is a good “match” or not. For years I’ve been consulting a friend of mine, Carol Allen. She’s both a Vedic astrologer and a relationship coach. She combines the best “out of this world” advice with the most cutting-edge “real world” advice in a great newsletter you can sign up for at the attached link.

If you’re thinking to yourself, “astrology is silly…” you haven’t seen Vedic astrology. Her newsletter is 90% relationship advice (because even Carol will tell you, it’s more important what you DO in love, than what the stars are doing), and I highly recommend it.

Carol offers an amazing compatibility report called, “The Right Man Report” that will to tell you if your relationships are “fated” and a good match, and what to do if they’re not…the report is only $19.97 (and it’s 100% money-back guaranteed). You deserve all the support and help you can get on your journey to find and keep lasting love, and Carol can help.

Check it out by visiting CAROL ALLEN

Wishing you love, laughter and magical kisses,

Arielle