Texting as a Love Language

Several years ago, the New York Times quoted an online dater as saying:

“Dating culture has evolved to a cycle of text messages, each one requiring the code-breaking skills of a cold war spy to interpret.”

Yes. This is true.

AND, now there is a way to break the code.

I’ve just finished reading a game changing book about love and texting.

Speaking in Thumbs, A Psychiatrist Decode Your Relationship Texts So You Don’t Have To is written by psychiatrist, Mimi Winsberg. (She is the former resident shrink for Facebook).

It’s a mind-blowing, revealing, and informative work on what to say, what not to say, and how to say it in texting when it comes to love.

Before I share more, I want to say (for the millionth time) that I think doing a lot of texting in the beginning of connecting with a stranger can lead to a huge waste of time.

I suggest you get to a video chat as fast as possible but set it up with a 15-minute time limit. This way you can use ALL of your senses to evaluate and determine if you want to meet this person IRL.

The book is filled with science and research, along with anecdotal stories, informed by the author’s many years as a professional of interpreting behavior.

In the short space below, I am going to give you just a few of the take-aways, AND I strongly suggest you read this book in its entirety.

FACT: Texting is now the dominant mode of communication.

But it is not the MOST effective way to determine if your hot, new, potential date is worth your time and energy. With texting you rely on word choice, semantics and grammar (and emoji’s!) in the absence of taking cues from body language, eye contact and vocal tone.

If you read this book, you will discover how to decode the text messages and improve how your messages are perceived and received.


** Using too many emoji’s can make you appear over eager. (introverts use emoji’s the most)

** Putting a period at the end of a sentence can be perceived as rude or arrogant and even picky.

** Overuse of exclamation points correlate with higher levels of neuroticism and a lack of openness. (and may even come off as amateurish and insecure)

** Men are most likely to respond to short messages. The shorter the better. Anything over 360 characters, typically three sentences, will scare them away. Ask one question at a time, even better than a question, create a statement that can open a conversation up to multiple possible directions. For example, “this amazing Spring weather has me excited on so many levels.”

** Phrases that MAY imply you (or them) are a liar include: “To be honest,” “I’m not going to lie,” and “I swear.”

** Texting compatibility is when you both text at a similar rate and frequency…and there don’t seem to be any rules or “normal” for this. A relationship prospect that texts too much or too little will be perceived as annoying or aloof. If you sent someone a lengthy, heartfelt text and you get a two word reply back, it feels bad…and I would say don’t make any assumptions. Just take your foot off the gas and at the right time have a real conversation (not via text) about it. Perhaps they were busy. Perhaps they were triggered by what you said, just don’t make assumptions and fall apart. Be brave and have a conversation.

** Learning to interpret text messages can reveal whether or not you are dealing with an anxious or avoidant person or someone who is prone to be very controlling, and so much more.

** TMI, too soon, is what the author calls “instamacy.” People who rush into a relationship are pleasers, can lack boundaries, and can be the text equivalent of a drunken stranger pouring their heart out to you in a bar.” Instamacy, while fun and flattering, is a presumption of connection that does not exist.

In the very beginning, use texting to simply decide whether or not (and how quickly) you will speak by phone or video chat. It’s easy to spend hours or days or more having flirty texts that you think are indicative of a “match” only to end up deeply disappointed when you find out your imagination has gone wild and you can’t stand the sound of their voice, the way they look or smell, or that they can converse via text but not in real life, etc.

Beyond covering all of the ground mentioned above, this book is also a solid handbook on what it takes to have a great, long lasting, meaningful relationship. And, for those of you already in a relationship, you will find nearly all of the book useful as well.

Wishing you love, laughter, and magical kisses,


Pick a Partner That Has Your Back

For better or worse.

Through thick and thin.

Will take a bullet for you.

Is solid as a rock.

Always has your back and is your biggest cheerleader and safe place to land.

As humans we need to feel physically and emotionally safe, especially with our beloved.

Choosing a soulmate/life partner is the most important decision most people will ever make.

Selecting your partner requires that you go beyond the “feelings” (yes, we all want to feel the magic and romance of being in love) AND we need to be strategic and mindful when determining if this person has the capacity to participate in a long term, happy relationship.

Since humans don’t automatically come with a “guarantee or warranty,” it’s up to us to slowly take time to get to know them.

Are they honest?

Financially responsible?

Open and willing and available to make a long-term commitment?

We need to find out if they have emotional intelligence, empathy, impulse control, humility, curiosity, love, and heart connection to navigate life’s ups and downs with us.

To discover all of this, we need to have lots of to see them in action. This takes time.

And, just as you are not perfect, neither are they, and learning to love each other in spite of the flaws (but not the red flags) is what a mature, adult love relationship is ultimately all about.

Wishing you love, laughter, and magical kisses,


Why Writing a Book Is an Act of Self Love

As someone who has written 12 books, had a big career as a book publicist and a literary agent, I’ve been deep in the publishing world for most of my life.

Yesterday I was talking an old friend who was interviewing me for an article she is writing for a major publication about becoming an author in your later years, and I had an epiphany:

I realized that sharing my life experience (whether in fiction or non-fiction) was and is an act of self-love.

Through the simple act of telling my stories I re-enforce so many things such as:

I have learned and earned a great deal of wisdom.

I’m a survivor and a thriver.

My ups and downs can provide inspiration, motivation, and education.

With each book I’ve written I’ve healed dark and broken places in myself and shown a light on the good I’ve received.

I’ve shared transformational processes that can deeply improve your life.

And, most importantly, with the completion of every book (whether it was successful in the marketplace or not), I have felt satisfied, fulfilled, and accomplished.

While the act of writing is mostly solitary, the process of creating a book takes a village.

All writers need (and crave) input from friendly and trustable people for assistance and feedback. ALL WRITERS need this.

If you are part of the 82% of Americans who plan to write a book someday, and you are ready to get started, I’m excited to introduce you to one of my friends, Christine Kloser, who is a true gem in the author space.

She’s a best-selling author, award-winning publisher and transformational author coach who has trained nearly 80,000 authors in 127 countries.

She’s endorsed by top thought leaders like Neale Donald Walsch, Lisa Nichols, Gay Hendricks, SARK, Michael Gerber and more… plus top publishers and literary agents. She’s as “real deal” as it gets.

Christine is hosting a phenomenal, free, five-day author training starting May 17th called the Book Breakthrough Quest.

Based on her 17-year track record of success, and my personal relationship with her, I fully trust Christine to guide you with integrity, ethics, care, skill and knowledge. Whether the book you write is read by 100 people or one million (or more!), you will never regret having spent the time and energy reminding yourself of all that you have become.

Do yourself a favor and register now.

Wishing you love, laughter, and magical kisses,


How To be the BEST Grandparent

On Saturday I organized a Celebration of Life for my mother with more than 70 family and close friends in attendance at the Catamaran resort overlooking the water.

We had a decadent buffet, face-painters, temporary tattoos, and butterfly wings for the kids, a musical performance by our dear friends Ron Bohmer and Sandra Joseph (they starred in Phantom of the Opera for 10 years as the Phantom and Christine) along with many heart opening and funny tributes.

(At the end of blog is a link to see one of the songs)

Mom was a true feminine badass kicking down doors and breaking glass ceilings with a smile and a sweet disposition winning over everyone, everywhere she went.

Before “women’s lib” was a thing, she launched her own commercial insurance agency and became the first woman in the world to have her own Lloyds of London syndicate. When she went to London for meetings, they sent a Rolls Royce to pick her up at the airport, treating her like the royalty she was.

She had a wicked sense of humor and loved a dirty joke with a dirty martini.

Her favorite things in life included, first and foremost her family and friends, especially her soulmate Howard. She excelled at throwing and attending parties, was crazy about art, Broadway musicals, playing piano, attending performances of the symphony and Opera, travel, especially cruising (she went on 49 cruises!), she loved to fly and was a multi-rated pilot, and she loved hanging out and kibbitzing.

On March 25, 1981, she became a grandmother to Ashley, the first of 10, and her motto became “spoil your grandchildren.”

She shared with me that she planned to have one-on-one time and travel with each grandkid and that is what she did.

She felt it was her role to teach them how to appreciate the good life and allow them to have unique experiences.

Ashley shared this:

“As the grandmother of the century and giver of all good fun, I know she would want me to drive home her core values:

  1. Forgiveness – she loved to share the stories of her prodigal children and encouraged us all to engage in heroic acts of forgiving.
  2. Kindness – the kindness she bestowed on her ex-daughters-in-law, and any honorary family member adopted in was the model for inclusion.
  3. Gathering – as evidenced by her opening ask on every phone call: when are you coming to visit? No one appreciated gatherings more than she did and all absences were noted.
  4. Enjoy it Now: you can’t take it with you. Spoil your grandchildren.”

Granddaughter Sarah shared this:

“Maya Angelou said, “I’ve learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel”.

I will never forget how my Grandma made me feel. She made me feel loved, wanted, worthy, and special. On the days where I doubted myself or my abilities, a phone call with Grandma made me stronger. She was always encouraging and believed in me more than I believe in myself. She was also quick to tell me when I was just being dumb about something or when it was time to move on… and that is a valuable person to have in your life.

A few of the things I’m going to miss:

  • the way my name sounded with her Brooklyn accent, or how she called me “her little Sarah” even at the age of 36.
  • how blunt and direct she was with me when I was whining.
  • how when I visited her, we could get a pedicure, go to lunch, see a movie, and call it a productive day, deserving of a nap.”

Granddaughter Eve, shared this:

“For my fifth-grade graduation I got to go all the way to Florida BY MYSELF to stay with Grandma and Grandpa. I was over the moon. It was like being an only child for a whole week – choosing what we did, what we ate, where we went, shopping for clothes that weren’t hand me downs or matching sets with my sisters… it was amazing.

Then after several days of Heaven, Grandma gave me the big surprise. We were going… on… a cruise!!!! 4 nights in the Caribbean. A sail away party, mocktails, live shows, kids club, dessert anytime I wanted, karaoke… THIS was what enjoying yourself looked like!

As someone, who even as a small child took everything in life too seriously, this kind of fun was eye opening. It was one of the most important lessons I learned from Grandma. Life is to be enjoyed with the people you love.

In honor of Grandma, I vow to always take that trip, relax at the spa, make opportunities to gather the people I love, and to always go to the lengths that she did to make my children, family, and friends feel as wanted and special as she did for me.”

I hope you enjoyed this Masterclass in grandparenting. Also, to see a very special performance by Ron & Sandra click below. My late sister Debbie came to Sandra in a dream and specifically requested they sing this for Mom.

Watch Here!

Wishing you love, laughter, and magical kisses,


Why Your Desire Is Already a Reality

The core basis of my belief and understanding about manifestation (whether you are manifesting love, a car, a new career, or a new little black dress) is this:

There is no “time.” The past, present, and future all happen simultaneously.

When we have a desire for something, it’s because some part of us “already knows that this is possible for us,” on an unseen level.

Your dream is not some random thing out there somewhere; it is already in existence, calling upon you to dream it into your existence.

To do this, we must be willing to own and embrace the dream or desire and then take the necessary, appropriate action steps to bring it into 3-D reality.

The secret sauce for this is what I call Feelingizations™ – a process to get out of your head and into your heart to deeply feel that what you have asked for IS already yours.

In 1944, Max Planck, the father of quantum theory, explained that there is a Universal field of energy that connects everything and everyone and he called this the Divine Matrix.

According to my amazing friend, Gregg Braden, author of The Divine Matrix: Bridging Time, Space, Miracles and Belief:

“The Divine Matrix is our world.

It is also everything in our world.

It is us and all that we love, hate, create and experience.

Living in the Divine Matrix, we are as artists expressing our innermost passions, fears, dreams and desires through the essence of a mysterious quantum canvas.

But we are the canvas, as well as the images upon the canvas.

We’re the paints, as well as the brushes.

In the Divine Matrix, we are the container

Within which all things exist, the bridge between

The creations of our inner and outer worlds,

And the mirror that shows us what we have created.

In the Divine Matrix, you are the seed of the miracle as well as the miracle itself.”

Remember, the key to manifesting is to feel as though your dream or desire is accomplished and your prayers are already answered.

Wishing you love, laughter, and magical kisses,


Access to Your FREE Feelingizations™!

My BEST Survive and Thrive Mantras

I spent the weekend with a tribe of 80+ like-minded, conscious souls that I hadn’t seen in two years.

Upon arrival we were all tested for Covid before receiving our color-coded name badges in an effort to keep all of us feeling safe.

Green meant yes, lets hug.

Yellow meant you can come close enough to easily talk but no touching.

Red meant stay at least seven feet away from me.

During our many interactive group activities we discussed how we fared during the Pandemic, on all levels: spiritually, emotionally, physically, and with our businesses.

We had many heart-opening, vulnerable shares about all that we had experienced and witnessed, along with the things we did to keep ourselves healthy, sane, and connected.

Learning to live with and accept “uncertainty” was the #1 common denominator for all of us as well as the various ways we managed our monkey minds.

Today I thought I would share with you some of the personal “mantras” I would repeat to myself when finding myself in various states of upset.

These “reminders” helped me stay present, release fear, embrace joy and pleasure.

Here are a few of my favorites:

“You’ll figure it out, I promise.”

I found this so soothing when stuff would come up that felt like a huge, unfixable burden and I quickly fell into a pool of despair until I reminded myself I would figure it out.

“In this moment I have everything that I need.”

~ from A Course in Miracles

When feeling like I was I a state of lack I would remember this truth and know that it is always true – I have enough food to eat, water to drink, and a home to sleep on so in this moment I do have everything that I need.

“Your body is not a temple. It’s an amusement park, enjoy the ride!”

~ Anthony Bourdain

No explanation needed!

“It’s a both/and world. It’s both the way you say it is and the way I say it is.”

This is something I say almost every day, mostly when I am on social media and coming across opposing points of view and I’m on the verge of “unfriending” someone.

“In this moment the only thing lacking in any situation is that which you are not giving.”

~ A Course in Miracles

“Just because I can doesn’t mean I should.”

My tendency is to take on too much. For instance: Yes, I can do 10 zoom meeting in a day, but just because I can it’s not good for me. So now, as I make my schedule for the day, I remind myself to do less even though I can always do more.

Most of us are still adjusting and integrating the changes that have been forced upon us these past two years, so remember to be kind and gentle with yourself.

Wishing you love, laughter, and magical kisses,


Got Triggers? Get Glimmers!

Many of us suffer from deep childhood wounds, others of us are scarred from life in general. Given the state of the world, we’ve all been traumatized on various levels.

And, we all have individual things that “trigger” us into feelings that impact our mental stability where we are reminded of past trauma or previous negative experiences and we suddenly feel unsafe, endangered, frightened, overwhelmed, etc.

Whether it’s conflict or unkind words from another, worry about money or a bad health diagnosis, being confronted with a growling barking dog (or nasty person), the smell of ozone in the air before a storm, or the flash of lightening or crack of thunder, or being stuck in traffic, missing your train, there are myriad daily occurrences that can set up your triggers leading to more stress, more anxiety and panic attacks. Often being triggered will put us into a state of fight or flight, known as survival state.

So, what is the opposite of a trigger?


Glimmers are small moments that spark joy or peace, which can help cue our nervous system to feel safe or calm.

According to psychotherapist and author Deb Dana, who coined the use of the term’s triggers and glimmers, “trauma reshapes our system so that we are more prone to pathways of protection than to pathways of connection.” This keeps us in a survival state instead of a thriving state.

When trauma is triggered, we are trapped in an unhealthy, hyper-vigilant state but when we are guided by our “glimmers,” we redirect our nervous system to feeing safe, connected to ourselves and other people. Glimmers are cues’ that signal safety and once you figure out what your “glimmers” are they can act an antidote to the triggers.

For me, when I’m triggered, the glimmers I use include:

  • Getting a long hug from my husband Brian.
  • Imagining that I am wrapped in the arms of the hugging saint, Amma, while she whispers loving words in my ear.
  • Walking on the beach, deeply breathing in the salty sea air.
  • Listening to my favorite soothing music.
  • Calling a good friend and laughing.
  • Taking an aromatherapy bath with lavender.
  • Having a cuddle session with my cat Max.
  • Unfriending disagreeable or nasty people on social media.

What are the people, places, feelings, smells, sensations that glimmer you back into feeling safe and connected?


The Rainbow Effect

This morning, before I got out of bed, I looked out the window and was delighted to see a magnificent, vibrant, and very wide rainbow.

As I enjoyed the magic of the moment, it reminded me that our deepest desires are a lot like rainbows – just because we can’t always see them, doesn’t mean they are not there.

I believe that our desires are signs, clues from our souls, that what we are asking for IS already ours, even when we can’t immediately see it.

Desire is our souls’ way of letting know what our possibilities and probabilities are – otherwise the desire would never arise.

As Rumi once said: what you are seeking is seeking you.

Wishing you love, laughter, and magical kisses,


The Power of Ruby Red Slippers and Prayer

Many years ago, I had a career changing meeting set up with a powerful CEO that I was terrified of. I had heard stories, from reliable sources, that he was a master of the dark forces and that he always got his way.

I prepared for the meeting in three ways:

First, I was very clear about the outcome I was desiring.

Second, I bought a pair of dark red patent leather shoes that I named my ruby red slippers and I wore them as a reminder that I had as much or more power than he did.

Third, For the week leading up to the meeting I practiced the technique with a long Hawaiian name, Ho’oponopono.

This is a simple but truly effective method for forgiving, healing, letting go, releasing, recovering, becoming whole, and loving more deeply by silently repeating four phrases:

Please forgive me, I’m sorry, I love you and thank you. As you are repeating these phrases you imagine yourself together with the person or situation surrounded and wrapped by the Divine.

Whether the man I was meeting was really a wicked wizard or just a weird CEO trying to frighten people, the theory is that everything and everyone that comes into your life is a reflection of your own internal state. So, it is actually yourself you must heal no matter where you see the problem.

Did it work?


I left the meeting with an offer that exceeded all of my expectations and was more than pleased with the outcome. (And, yes, he was definitely a weird wizard with mindboggling talent.)

I have used this technique many times with great success…. if you have something in your life that needs manifesting, forgiveness, healing (and who doesn’t?), give it a try!

Wishing you love, laughter, and magical kisses,


For more about this read ZERO LIMITS by the amazing Joe Vitale, bestselling author of more than 40 books.

We Are Never Alone

As so many of us find ourselves praying more often, more fervently than ever as bombs drop on Ukraine, the world economy is in turmoil, the pandemic continues, experiencing inner peace can be a real struggle.

I’ve been on several global prayer webcasts, collectively praying and holding strong intentions for peace, for healings, for miracles, even though at times I couldn’t imagine what kind of miracle to pray for.

As I write this, I am watching the online Celebration of Life for the magnificent Bob Proctor.

Mary Morrissey opened the event by reading the poem below. For me it’s such a beautiful reminder that we are never alone and that we are intricately part of a power, a force, an energy of love that we don’t need to understand but rather a guide to trust that we are always held and wrapped in the arms of God.

by James Dillet Freeman

Do you need Me?
I am there.
You cannot see Me, yet I am the light you see by.
You cannot hear Me, yet I speak through your voice.
You cannot feel Me, yet I am the power at work in your hands.
I am at work, though you do not understand My ways.
I am at work, though you do not recognize My works.
I am not strange visions. I am not mysteries.
Only in absolute stillness, beyond self, can you know Me as I am, and then but as a feeling and a faith.
Yet I am there. Yet I hear. Yet I answer.
When you need Me, I am there.
Even if you deny Me, I am there.
Even when you feel most alone, I am there.
Even in your fears, I am there.
Even in your pain, I am there.
I am there when you pray and when you do not pray.
I am in you, and you are in Me.
Only in your mind can you feel separate from Me, for only in your mind are the mists of “yours” and “mine.”
Yet only with your mind can you know Me and experience Me.
Empty your heart of empty fears.
When you get yourself out of the way, I am there.
You can of yourself do nothing, but I can do all.
And I am in all.
Though you may not see the good, good is there, for I am there.
I am there because I have to be, because I am.
Only in Me does the world have meaning; only out of Me does the world take form; only because of Me does the world go forward.
I am the law on which the movement of the stars and the growth of living cells are founded.
I am the love that is the law’s fulfilling.
I am assurance.
I am peace.
I am oneness.
I am the law that you can live by.
I am the love that you can cling to.
I am your assurance.
I am your peace.
I am one with you.
I am.
Though you fail to find Me, I do not fail you.
Though your faith in Me is unsure, My faith in you never wavers, because I know you, because I love you.
Beloved, I am there.

Wishing you love, laughter, and magical kisses,


P.S. On August 7, 1971, this poem was famously carried to the moon by Apollo 15 astronauts James B. Irwin, David R. Scott, and Alfred M. Worden. Stored in a microfilm file, the poem was intended to be left there for future space explorations.