What Are You Waiting For?

When my nephew Beau was around three years old, I was driving him somewhere while he was safely strapped in his car seat. I asked him a question and he quickly said to me, “Don’t talk to me now, I’m playing with my imagination.”

Wow. What an answer!

I was truly taken aback by his response – both by the sophistication of it as
well as the reality that he could clearly identify what he was doing.

I love my overactive imagination and I play with it often.

Sometimes it begins when I ask myself “wouldn’t it be lovely if_______.”

And then, depending of the desire that arises, if I see that it is something I am willing to commit to, then I go about doing my manifesting magic.

Part of this requires creating goals and action steps while simultaneously staying detached and surrendered from the outcome (not easy but doable and necessary).

Recently I’ve come across many people who keep telling me about a “dream” they have, but dreams generally don’t come true until you make a plan for them to happen. The fuel to make dreams a reality requires making action steps, getting an accountability partner, commitment and knowingness that “what you have asked for is already yours.”

What dream are you willing to go for NOW? Here’s one suggestion for you from my friend and “Dreambuilder” expert, Mary Morrissey:

A Dream-Building Expert’s Key to Success

Mar, who has been over helping people achieve more abundance and freedom in their lives for more than 40 years, says she has discovered that most people aren’t really clear on what their dream is.

They think they know exactly what it is…but they really don’t

This might not seem like that big of a deal, but that lack of clarity prevents
them from moving into that better life that they desire.

It makes total sense if you think about it. It’s hard to get somewhere if you
don’t know where you’re going, right?

Mary digs deep into this problem in her free video, DreamBuilder Masterclass. You’ll learn how to blueprint your dreams.

Watch it here so that you aren’t stuck wandering around aimlessly trying to
find your dream:
https://lifemasteryinstitute.com/go/aff.php?p=A31SC1019&w=AFLNC19_DBPvideo2EM

Brian, me, Mary Morrissey & her soulmate Joe

Wishing you love, laughter and magical kisses,

Arielle

Dancing with Hope (So Love Can Have More Love)

You are in for a treat today. My friend, Dr. Gary Sayler, has written a game-changing book, Safe To Love Again How to Release the Pain of Past Relationships and Create the Love You Deserve. 

In this book he skillfully illuminates the origins of the blocks to love so many suffer with, whether its around finding love or keeping love. This magnificent work offers practical, healing solutions that will put you on the path to deep and lasting love.  Today. Dr. Sayler has written a special blog for us that shares a big piece of his wisdom:

“If it’s not one stunt, it’s another!” Amy exclaimed in a defeated tone. “Every time I turn around, I’m being ghosted or stood up. What’s up with these guys? Why do I have to meet someone new every two weeks? Since when did two months become a long term relationship?” Then Amy voiced the real heartbreak beneath the tears—“Maybe it’s just better not looking for love . . .” With a heavy sigh, she continued, “I’m just going through the motions when it comes to finding my dream man. I feel empty—like I’ve lost all of my passion. Living for my kids seems to be my only option when it comes to feeling loved.” So how do we find love when hope is gone?

Over the years, I’ve learned that clients must dance with hope if they’re going to waltz love into their lives. Nothing is more debilitating than feeling like we’re never going to be loved. Our generation is filled with people who no longer believe they can find love. Many don’t feel like they deserve love anymore. If they hope at all, they’re resigned to finding someone who won’t give them the deep connection they deserve. What’s the answer to such hopelessness?

We can take a big clue from Attachment Theory—the science of how brains are wired to love and be loved. There are three styles in which people typically create relationships; secure, anxious, or avoidant. Those with a secure love style feel really safe in a relationship. The anxious, however, are constantly worried that love will go away. These types constantly ask, “Do you still love me?” And last, but not least, avoidant people run from intimate, close relationships. You will know them as Mr. or Ms. Unavailable.

Most love styles are created by the time we’re a year old. Something told us as babies whether we were loved or not. Whatever tells a baby’s brain that someone loves them surely can’t be as complex as dating site algorithms suggest. A secure brain uses four key feelings to know when it’s loved. Moreover, these feelings remain your brain’s GPS for love for life. If your brain is using other feelings like unworthy or un-cherished, you change them at some point. Love doesn’t have to be as complex as we imagine.

It’s only when we don’t use our brain’s natural GPS for love that things get hopeless. One client, Rachel, described it like this—“I think love is impossible for me to find because I misread the signs. It’s like I’m distracted from seeing love the way it is. I get flooded by feelings like excitement or passion. It’s as if true love gets hidden behind all of my emotional clutter.” When you are uncluttered, these feelings tell your brain when it’s loved: Welcomed with Joy, Worthy and Nourished, Cherished and Protected, and Empowered with Choice. These are your original love GPS!

Welcomed with Joy happens when someone lights up in your presence. Your partner wakes up in the morning saying, “Good morning, Gorgeous!” At night, they’ll notice your mood and offer to hold you in their arms—just because you’re home again. You’re invited to share your feelings and your thoughts. This makes your relationship a cozy oyster, and your beloved a warm, comfy sanctuary for life. Welcome creates regular rituals of connection, like the kiss goodbye and the passionate caress when you get home. When you feel welcomed, your relationship feels warm and inviting.

Worthy and Nourished means it’s okay to reach out with your needs and to have them bountifully met. When you’re loved, you feel esteemed and deserving by your partner. This empowers you to ask for your needs to be met. What’s more, your beloved will actively notice your needs and keep track of your requests. Lasting love knows your patterns, preferences, and dreams in depth. You will feel special, heard, and felt.

You feel Cherished and Protected when your partner wants to fully support you. You get to be your best me in a mutually supportive We. There’s a feeling of freedom without any sense that you must go it alone. You’re emboldened to explore the outermost edges of who you were meant to be. Independence is not an end unto itself. There’s no thought that you must sacrifice your me to be a We. You feel celebrated, honored, valued, and sheltered by your partner. There’s a home port in your beloved’s heart for you. Notice, too, that there must be a We for couples to feel truly loved. Noticing if someone is capable of creating a deep partnership will make you feel wiser and safer.

Empowered with Choice is the fourth signpost. It’s okay to speak up and express your full self when you’re loved. There’s a sense of confidence that you can craft what you most want. You’re able to explore the possibilities of life and co-create an inner reality together. You get a say in things. You can be decisive because they share influence with you. Both partners get to have their wins in the relationship.

Imagine going into a date using these secure feelings as your new compass for love, rather than the list. Just because a date is a certain height or has a good career doesn’t mean you hit the jackpot. The lottery of love is always these four wonderful feelings that create real, lasting love. Once you become the master of noticing and creating the feelings of secure love, you’ll naturally pick better dates, get out of bad relationships sooner, and know the secret for keeping love strong. That’s the day hope becomes authentic and empowering.

This new way of attracting and keeping love—and actually creating real hope—I call Safe to Love Again. You can know deep in your heart that you’re both worthy and able to find the love you want—and keep it! When you experience that, you know there’s HOPE! Best of all, lasting love can waltz its way into your life sooner rather than never.

Anyone ready to dance with hope and find real love?

If you have trouble finding love or keeping love, this book, Safe to Love Again: How to Release the Pain of Past Relationships and Create the Love You Deserve, by Dr. Gary Sayler, is worth reading: BUY IT HERE!

 

Who’s The Man In Your Relationship?

I am a very “bottom-line” person. I speak my mind. I call it as I see it, without all that flowery talk. While this communication style may be very useful in the workplace, I discovered it’s not a quality most men find endearing or attractive.

One evening, when I was in my early thirties, I had been on a date with a man I found rather obnoxious, superficial and patronizing. Admittedly, it was a really bad date. Completely unintentionally, Dirk said something that changed my life:

“You are one tough and powerful woman and I’ll bet you scare the shit out of most men.”

At that moment, Dirk stopped the car in front of my apartment building and leaned over to kiss me goodnight. I dodged him, slipped out of the door and ran for home, hoping to never see him again.

His final words to me became an audio loop in my head, playing over and over again.

“You are one tough and powerful woman and I’ll bet you scare the shit out of most men.”

Oy. Big fat hairy oy!

Until that moment I had never, ever thought of myself as tough or powerful. But the thought wouldn’t leave my mind. What if Dirk was right? What if that was exactly how I was showing up? Speechless, I was too embarrassed to discuss this new revelation with anyone.

A few weeks later, a girlfriend invited me to a lecture by Dr. Pat Allen, a psychologist with a reputation for providing women with “strict dating rules” that would, if followed precisely, lead to commitment and marriage. That was the promise that got me in the door of the auditorium in Westwood near the UCLA campus. What kept me coming back was Dr. Pat’s wise and wonderous conversation about “masculine and feminine energies.” It turns out that I was living and playing full out with my masculine energy of being practical, assertive and results-oriented while my receptive, creative and soft feminine energies had been locked away, hiding out in a corner of my heart I had yet to access.

Dr. Pat explained that both men and women possess both masculine and feminine energy and that it is totally appropriate for a woman to be in her masculine while working. However, when she wants to be with a masculine man, she needs to access her feminine energy to create harmony and desire. Wow. Now I was beginning to understand what Dirk meant, but how in the world did I go from being “me,” the only “me” I knew, to some “feminine” version of me? Did I have to twist myself all around to please men? Or was there a side of me, like the unknown frontier, just dying to be expressed?

I was determined to find out.

For the next several months, Tuesday nights with Dr. Pat became my new-found religion as I began to wrap my mind and heart around allowing the feminine in me to emerge. I have to admit it didn’t come easily. My default position to take control and make things happen didn’t want to “surrender” at the end of the workday and yet I knew that a big piece of my key to happiness was inextricably tied to the ability to surrender to that feminine energy that would complement a man’s. More than anything, I knew I had to learn to love through my deeper, receptive, feminine divine self.

I took up belly-dancing. What could possibly be more rooted in femininity and my own sensuality than that? Soon I could roll my hips and shake and shimmy my booty with the best of them, all the while still making demands and providing my opinions to the men in my life. The path to my inner Goddess seemed to be eluding me, but I felt no pressure to allow Her to emerge immediately. Because I wasn’t seriously involved with anyone at the time, I slowly stopped thinking about the “tough and powerful Arielle who scared men.”

Learning to access my feminine energies was a big leap and I believe also cleared the path for me to manifest my soulmate, Brian.

After we got married, we started a business together and I quickly discovered one thing that he used to do that just made me crazy. He always wanted to talk shop during dinner. The wanna-be Goddess in me had figured out that in order to embrace and exude my feminine energy, I needed to “drop” my masculine energy at the end of the workday. I created a soothing transition to create this transformation. After coming home from work, I would practice my belly-dancing before soaking in a long hot, aroma-infused bubble bath. Then I would put on a little make-up and a dress and we would go out for dinner. (For years, we ate out nearly every night). Often somewhere between soup and dessert Brian would begin discussing one of the books we were selling or negotiating. Generally, the conversation went like this:

Brian: I think the publisher’s offer for John’s next book will end up being close to $150,000, but they’re asking for world rights.

Arielle: That’s great, can we talk about it tomorrow when we are in the office?

Brian: Why? We’re here now and this is fun!

Arielle: Yes, it’s fun, but I really want to be done working for the day and I don’t want to put my brain into work mode.

And, often we would end up having a business conversation because it was easier than trying to explain something that I just couldn’t quite language in a way that Brian could hear. With each dinner conversation that turned to business, the knot in my stomach tightened and I prayed for guidance on how to explain to my super-cool new husband that my inner Goddess was starving for equal time.

After reading a few books and taking a workshop, we learned that to have a healthy relationship, we each can and should express both our masculine and feminine energies, depending on the situation. Outside of the workplace, Brian’s preferred expression is masculine and mine is feminine. Brian came to realize that his desire to talk shop at dinner came from his years in the development business, spending long nights with his partners hashing and re-hashing the finer points of a deal. That was fun for him. He quickly saw the value in nurturing and encouraging my expression of my feminine radiance and was quite willing to give up “shop talk” after hours. Since then, we have both benefited greatly from our choices…if you know what I mean!

So, ladies, look and see if you need to find a way to transition from your masculine workplace mode into feminine mode, and gentleman, be sure to encourage your women to be their most feminine selves with you so you can enjoy your own masculine mode.

Wishing you love, laughter, and magical kisses,

 Arielle

Are You OPEN to Magic & Miracles?

Here’s what I love most about the Law of Attraction: it works!
And nearly every day, since 1984, I have more and more proof that it
works.

Now I know many of you have lots of proof that it hasn’t worked for you in the past and that is no reason to give up on it.
It’s a delicate process that takes time to master and has “laws” that take time to understand…especially the one about Divine Timing which can be the most frustrating because you can’t have what you want as fast as you say you want it.
There are many ways we approach manifesting a desire.

Some of us take the “if it’s meant to be it will just happen” approach.
Others take charge and go into “make it happen” mode.
I believe that it’s a combination of the two that is the winning ticket.
I believe that manifesting your desire has a certain amount of ” meant-to-be-ness to it… AND it requires a big dose of “make-it-happen-ness.”
Practicing intention, surrender, focus, and detachment coupled with trust, belief, knowingness, and patience is the recipe for success.
And I realize that this is a paradox….

How does one be both intentional and surrendered?
When I am being intentional, I have a clear feeling and picture of what my desire is AND I also am detached from the outcome.
I know and trust that life will continue to be great whether or not my desire is fulfilled.
I surrender to divine timing and to destiny (knowing this or something better is on the way) and my happiness and wellbeing isn’t dependent on having my wishes granted.

This is a daily “conscious” practice that requires emotional maturity and awareness.
It’s worth the effort to master this practice as it will give you freedom to be “with what is” while manifesting your deepest desires!
If you are willing to give a little time, energy, intention and attention to your desires (and many of you already have, but maybe make time for just a little bit more), they will be yours!

Wishing you love, laughter and magical kisses,

Arielle

Lady Gaga Has Changed Me

We recently went to Las Vegas to see Lady Gaga perform her “Jazz” show.

It was a beautiful mix of classic American standards (many she had sung on an album with Tony Bennett) and a medley of her pop hits.

I was fully expecting to be blown away by her voice, & costumes, the orchestra, etc.

What I wasn’t anticipating is this:

We witnessed pure, mind-blowing genius.

She gave more than 100%.  She gave 100% of every song to 100% of the audience.

It was unlike anything I have ever witnessed or experienced.

And it got me thinking…. What if I amped up my output to that level?

What would that look like?

What would that feel like?

How would it impact anyone around me?

When I figure it out I will let you know!

In the meantime, check out this 5 minute clip from the show:

Declare Yourself A LOVE Philanthropist

My dear friend Marci Shimoff taught me the phrase Love Philanthropist, and every time I say it, it makes me smile.

Just as I’ve learned that tithing not only makes me feel good, and does good for others, it also brings me more abundance.

Being a Love Philanthropist brings more love.

There are so many ways to share your love with the world:

Close your eyes and send love and blessings to your nearest and dearest. (including your pets)

Send love notes (do it today!) via email or text or snail mail.

Smile and compliment strangers and beam love from your eyes to theirs.

There is a line in A Course in Miracles that says:

“The only thing that can be lacking in any situation is that which you are not giving.”

To have more love, give more love.

It’s so easy, simple, and doesn’t cost a thing.

Be Love.

Give Love.

Wishing you love, laughter and magical kisses,

 Arielle

The Manifestation Thing You MAY not be doing!

I confess I have never read the Bible cover to cover, however, there is a line in the Bible that is Law of Attraction 101, from Matthew 18:29, and it reads:

“Again I say to you, if two of you agree on earth about anything they ask, it will be done for them by my Father in heaven. For where two or three are gathered in my name, there am I among them.”

When I was manifesting my soulmate Brian, I shared with a trusted friend what I was up to and he said to me “I will hold the space for you to accomplish this.” He explained that there is power in having another hold your vision, your dream with you. This is exactly what I believe this Biblical verse implies. 

You’ve heard me talk about the research that proves having an accountability partner puts a rocket booster on your manifestation abilities, so does having trusted friend share your vision, to hold “space” for you. And you can have one person hold “space” while someone else is your accountability partner.

Whatever your dream, goal, desire, or vision is I encourage you to engage a trusted friend to hold space for you.

And, for those of you who plan to meet your soulmate/lifepartner this year, please meet me at the stunning and serene 1440 Multiversity retreat center (near San Jose THIS WEEKEND) Feb. 8-10, and lets fast track your road to love!

DONT MISS OUT SIGN UP NOW! 

Wishing you love, laughter and magical kisses,

Arielle

p.s. for other LIVE events with me please visit https://www.arielleford.com/events/

Best Ways To Be Your Biggest Cheerleader

They say we teach what we most need to learn and lately that has been true for me. I have decided to tackle a new project…I am calling it my “creative challenge,” and it is SO BIG and so intimidating to me that I am not sharing it with anyone… just yet.
Every day, as I carve out time to work on this project, I am confronted by a ton of thoughts of why I can’t do it, why it’s impossible, etc., and then I spend a bunch of time diving into my spiritual tool kit to off load the negative thinking.
Needless to say, the project is moving at a snail’s pace.

It’s so easy to let the negative monkey mind chatter take over and I’ve had enough of it so here is my new commitment.
Today I am reminding myself of three very important things I seem to have forgotten:
One: I am reinstituting my formerly daily practice of ending each day reviewing something I did really well and acknowledging myself for it.
Second: At least once a week I am going to share the week’s biggest accomplishments with a friend. (I always tell Brian what I am doing, right and wrong, but it will be useful for me to share with someone else as well. If I can’t be proud of what I am up to then who will be?)
Third: I am dreaming up the “push presents” I will give myself as I reach each milestone along the way to making the creative challenge happen.

How are you going to be your own biggest cheerleader?

Wishing you love, laughter and magical kisses,

Arielle

p.s. LAST CHANCE:  If meeting your soulmate/lifepartner is a priority for 2019, then I invite you to come spend the weekend with me at the stunning and serene 1440 Multiversity retreat center (near San Jose, CA) Feb. 8-10, and lets fast track your road to love!

The Soulmate Secret

When Your Dream ISN’T Happening

We’ve all been there. We’ve got a big dream, a desire, or a goal.
We feel pretty sure it’s meant to be.

We do all the right things: we take our inspired action steps, we pray, meditate, dance naked under the full moon.
We re excited. We anticipate. We tell ourselves to be patient.

We read a book or two or three. Take a workshop. Make the effort.

And nothing happens. Not one thing. Ugh!

When this happens to me, the first thing I do is immediately create something fun and pleasurable for myself. I give myself a big dose of love and yumminess.

Then I take a few minutes to go for a walk or take a bath while I reflect on WHY.

Why do I desire this?

What will it give me that I don’t have now and most importantly, how did I imagine I would FEEL when I got my dream?

When I get to the part about how do I expect I will feel, I then can ask myself, is there, perhaps, another way to get to that feeling?

Or, do I believe this dream is on the way and I have to patiently wait upon Divine Timing?

Since I believe in going with the flow, when I find that things aren’t moving, I sit back and surrender and go into “this or something better” mode, knowing and trusting that the Universe always has my best interests at heart.

Lately, I have discovered that the best manifesting I do is happening without focusing on a particular dream of a goal. I find myself just staying open to all the good I already have and all the good that is coming and then magic happens, things and experiences appear, and when they do I realize they are exactly what is most needed in the moment.

Right now I can only attribute this “grace” to my ongoing faith and trust in the Universe. And, maybe someday I will figure out how to bottle it!

Until then, remember when your dreams seem to be evading you, don’t take it personally, try not to get frustrated and allow yourself to open and receive all the good that is coming your way.

Wishing you love, laughter and magical kisses,

Arielle

Is Self Love A Pre- Requisite To Soulmate Love?

Self Love is the hot topic in the personal growth movement these days and when it comes to finding soulmate love, there are a lot of myths that until you love yourself first, you won’t be able to get anyone else to love you. Can this really be true?

My experience has been that most women and some men (at least in the Northern hemisphere) live with a negative, critical voice in their heads that is often filled with ugly, shaming thoughts, self-doubt, and brings with it feelings of never being “good enough.”

And, I began to wonder, do you really have to eliminate that persistent voice in order to find true love? Do we really need to be 100% in love with ourselves to experience Big Love?

I don’t think so.

What is required is to learn how to “talk back” to that voice and create strategies to love yourself more and better. This includes a big dose of self-awareness so that when the “voice surfaces” you kick its butt!

For instance, you walk past a mirror and immediately react by thinking “God, you look like a total piece of $#it today.” Immediately stop. Walk back to the mirror, give yourself a big smile and blow yourself a kiss and say something warm and loving to your reflection. This is called self-care and self-soothing. Over time, you can change your habitual negative thinking by in-putting loving and uplifting thoughts and beliefs about yourself. And, please, never forget that just because you have a thought does not make it true!

Now, as for soulmate love, one of the greatest, most awesome things about living your life with your soulmate, is that you begin to heal each other in unimaginable ways. When you spend time with someone who loves all of you – the good, the bad and the ugly, you begin to love yourself even more.

So many are “waiting“ to actively seek their soulmate because they feel stuck in how they feel about themselves. This is a very selfish thing to do.

Why? Because just as you desire to spend your life with your soulmate, they are also seeking you. And, if you are holed up at home, on the couch, watching mindless reality TV, they can’t find you!

Now, while learning to love yourself a little bit, more and more, it’s also important to know that once you do manifest the love of your life, you teach them how to treat you by the way they witness how you treat yourself. I learned this from my husband Brian. Once we got married and began living together, I noticed how he always prioritized his health and well-being. At first, I made up stories about how selfish he was because he wasn’t always flexible about the time he took to mediate and exercise. When I finally asked him about it his response floored me. He explained that by sticking to his personal care schedule, he was able to fill himself up so that the rest of the day he had more love and more energy to give to me and the rest of the world.

Wow. What an insight that was for me. I soon began to follow in his footsteps.

Self-love is important and please know that if your soul is calling for a soulmate, the voice in your head shouldn’t be a barrier to love.

Wishing you love, laughter and magical kisses,

Arielle