Why Writing a Book Is an Act of Self Love

As someone who has written 12 books, had a big career as a book publicist and a literary agent, I’ve been deep in the publishing world for most of my life.

Yesterday I was talking an old friend who was interviewing me for an article she is writing for a major publication about becoming an author in your later years, and I had an epiphany:

I realized that sharing my life experience (whether in fiction or non-fiction) was and is an act of self-love.

Through the simple act of telling my stories I re-enforce so many things such as:

I have learned and earned a great deal of wisdom.

I’m a survivor and a thriver.

My ups and downs can provide inspiration, motivation, and education.

With each book I’ve written I’ve healed dark and broken places in myself and shown a light on the good I’ve received.

I’ve shared transformational processes that can deeply improve your life.

And, most importantly, with the completion of every book (whether it was successful in the marketplace or not), I have felt satisfied, fulfilled, and accomplished.

While the act of writing is mostly solitary, the process of creating a book takes a village.

All writers need (and crave) input from friendly and trustable people for assistance and feedback. ALL WRITERS need this.

If you are part of the 82% of Americans who plan to write a book someday, and you are ready to get started, I’m excited to introduce you to one of my friends, Christine Kloser, who is a true gem in the author space.

She’s a best-selling author, award-winning publisher and transformational author coach who has trained nearly 80,000 authors in 127 countries.

She’s endorsed by top thought leaders like Neale Donald Walsch, Lisa Nichols, Gay Hendricks, SARK, Michael Gerber and more… plus top publishers and literary agents. She’s as “real deal” as it gets.

Christine is hosting a phenomenal, free, five-day author training starting May 17th called the Book Breakthrough Quest.

Based on her 17-year track record of success, and my personal relationship with her, I fully trust Christine to guide you with integrity, ethics, care, skill and knowledge. Whether the book you write is read by 100 people or one million (or more!), you will never regret having spent the time and energy reminding yourself of all that you have become.

Do yourself a favor and register now.

Wishing you love, laughter, and magical kisses,

Arielle

How To be the BEST Grandparent

On Saturday I organized a Celebration of Life for my mother with more than 70 family and close friends in attendance at the Catamaran resort overlooking the water.

We had a decadent buffet, face-painters, temporary tattoos, and butterfly wings for the kids, a musical performance by our dear friends Ron Bohmer and Sandra Joseph (they starred in Phantom of the Opera for 10 years as the Phantom and Christine) along with many heart opening and funny tributes.

(At the end of blog is a link to see one of the songs)

Mom was a true feminine badass kicking down doors and breaking glass ceilings with a smile and a sweet disposition winning over everyone, everywhere she went.

Before “women’s lib” was a thing, she launched her own commercial insurance agency and became the first woman in the world to have her own Lloyds of London syndicate. When she went to London for meetings, they sent a Rolls Royce to pick her up at the airport, treating her like the royalty she was.

She had a wicked sense of humor and loved a dirty joke with a dirty martini.

Her favorite things in life included, first and foremost her family and friends, especially her soulmate Howard. She excelled at throwing and attending parties, was crazy about art, Broadway musicals, playing piano, attending performances of the symphony and Opera, travel, especially cruising (she went on 49 cruises!), she loved to fly and was a multi-rated pilot, and she loved hanging out and kibbitzing.

On March 25, 1981, she became a grandmother to Ashley, the first of 10, and her motto became “spoil your grandchildren.”

She shared with me that she planned to have one-on-one time and travel with each grandkid and that is what she did.

She felt it was her role to teach them how to appreciate the good life and allow them to have unique experiences.

Ashley shared this:

“As the grandmother of the century and giver of all good fun, I know she would want me to drive home her core values:

  1. Forgiveness – she loved to share the stories of her prodigal children and encouraged us all to engage in heroic acts of forgiving.
  2. Kindness – the kindness she bestowed on her ex-daughters-in-law, and any honorary family member adopted in was the model for inclusion.
  3. Gathering – as evidenced by her opening ask on every phone call: when are you coming to visit? No one appreciated gatherings more than she did and all absences were noted.
  4. Enjoy it Now: you can’t take it with you. Spoil your grandchildren.”

Granddaughter Sarah shared this:

“Maya Angelou said, “I’ve learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel”.

I will never forget how my Grandma made me feel. She made me feel loved, wanted, worthy, and special. On the days where I doubted myself or my abilities, a phone call with Grandma made me stronger. She was always encouraging and believed in me more than I believe in myself. She was also quick to tell me when I was just being dumb about something or when it was time to move on… and that is a valuable person to have in your life.

A few of the things I’m going to miss:

  • the way my name sounded with her Brooklyn accent, or how she called me “her little Sarah” even at the age of 36.
  • how blunt and direct she was with me when I was whining.
  • how when I visited her, we could get a pedicure, go to lunch, see a movie, and call it a productive day, deserving of a nap.”

Granddaughter Eve, shared this:

“For my fifth-grade graduation I got to go all the way to Florida BY MYSELF to stay with Grandma and Grandpa. I was over the moon. It was like being an only child for a whole week – choosing what we did, what we ate, where we went, shopping for clothes that weren’t hand me downs or matching sets with my sisters… it was amazing.

Then after several days of Heaven, Grandma gave me the big surprise. We were going… on… a cruise!!!! 4 nights in the Caribbean. A sail away party, mocktails, live shows, kids club, dessert anytime I wanted, karaoke… THIS was what enjoying yourself looked like!

As someone, who even as a small child took everything in life too seriously, this kind of fun was eye opening. It was one of the most important lessons I learned from Grandma. Life is to be enjoyed with the people you love.

In honor of Grandma, I vow to always take that trip, relax at the spa, make opportunities to gather the people I love, and to always go to the lengths that she did to make my children, family, and friends feel as wanted and special as she did for me.”

I hope you enjoyed this Masterclass in grandparenting. Also, to see a very special performance by Ron & Sandra click below. My late sister Debbie came to Sandra in a dream and specifically requested they sing this for Mom.

Watch Here!

Wishing you love, laughter, and magical kisses,

Arielle

Why Your Desire Is Already a Reality

The core basis of my belief and understanding about manifestation (whether you are manifesting love, a car, a new career, or a new little black dress) is this:

There is no “time.” The past, present, and future all happen simultaneously.

When we have a desire for something, it’s because some part of us “already knows that this is possible for us,” on an unseen level.

Your dream is not some random thing out there somewhere; it is already in existence, calling upon you to dream it into your existence.

To do this, we must be willing to own and embrace the dream or desire and then take the necessary, appropriate action steps to bring it into 3-D reality.

The secret sauce for this is what I call Feelingizations™ – a process to get out of your head and into your heart to deeply feel that what you have asked for IS already yours.

In 1944, Max Planck, the father of quantum theory, explained that there is a Universal field of energy that connects everything and everyone and he called this the Divine Matrix.

According to my amazing friend, Gregg Braden, author of The Divine Matrix: Bridging Time, Space, Miracles and Belief:

“The Divine Matrix is our world.

It is also everything in our world.

It is us and all that we love, hate, create and experience.

Living in the Divine Matrix, we are as artists expressing our innermost passions, fears, dreams and desires through the essence of a mysterious quantum canvas.

But we are the canvas, as well as the images upon the canvas.

We’re the paints, as well as the brushes.

In the Divine Matrix, we are the container

Within which all things exist, the bridge between

The creations of our inner and outer worlds,

And the mirror that shows us what we have created.

In the Divine Matrix, you are the seed of the miracle as well as the miracle itself.”

Remember, the key to manifesting is to feel as though your dream or desire is accomplished and your prayers are already answered.

Wishing you love, laughter, and magical kisses,

Arielle

Access to Your FREE Feelingizations™!

My BEST Survive and Thrive Mantras

I spent the weekend with a tribe of 80+ like-minded, conscious souls that I hadn’t seen in two years.

Upon arrival we were all tested for Covid before receiving our color-coded name badges in an effort to keep all of us feeling safe.

Green meant yes, lets hug.

Yellow meant you can come close enough to easily talk but no touching.

Red meant stay at least seven feet away from me.

During our many interactive group activities we discussed how we fared during the Pandemic, on all levels: spiritually, emotionally, physically, and with our businesses.

We had many heart-opening, vulnerable shares about all that we had experienced and witnessed, along with the things we did to keep ourselves healthy, sane, and connected.

Learning to live with and accept “uncertainty” was the #1 common denominator for all of us as well as the various ways we managed our monkey minds.

Today I thought I would share with you some of the personal “mantras” I would repeat to myself when finding myself in various states of upset.

These “reminders” helped me stay present, release fear, embrace joy and pleasure.

Here are a few of my favorites:

“You’ll figure it out, I promise.”

I found this so soothing when stuff would come up that felt like a huge, unfixable burden and I quickly fell into a pool of despair until I reminded myself I would figure it out.

“In this moment I have everything that I need.”

~ from A Course in Miracles

When feeling like I was I a state of lack I would remember this truth and know that it is always true – I have enough food to eat, water to drink, and a home to sleep on so in this moment I do have everything that I need.

“Your body is not a temple. It’s an amusement park, enjoy the ride!”

~ Anthony Bourdain

No explanation needed!

“It’s a both/and world. It’s both the way you say it is and the way I say it is.”

This is something I say almost every day, mostly when I am on social media and coming across opposing points of view and I’m on the verge of “unfriending” someone.

“In this moment the only thing lacking in any situation is that which you are not giving.”

~ A Course in Miracles

“Just because I can doesn’t mean I should.”

My tendency is to take on too much. For instance: Yes, I can do 10 zoom meeting in a day, but just because I can it’s not good for me. So now, as I make my schedule for the day, I remind myself to do less even though I can always do more.

Most of us are still adjusting and integrating the changes that have been forced upon us these past two years, so remember to be kind and gentle with yourself.

Wishing you love, laughter, and magical kisses,

Arielle

Got Triggers? Get Glimmers!

Many of us suffer from deep childhood wounds, others of us are scarred from life in general. Given the state of the world, we’ve all been traumatized on various levels.

And, we all have individual things that “trigger” us into feelings that impact our mental stability where we are reminded of past trauma or previous negative experiences and we suddenly feel unsafe, endangered, frightened, overwhelmed, etc.

Whether it’s conflict or unkind words from another, worry about money or a bad health diagnosis, being confronted with a growling barking dog (or nasty person), the smell of ozone in the air before a storm, or the flash of lightening or crack of thunder, or being stuck in traffic, missing your train, there are myriad daily occurrences that can set up your triggers leading to more stress, more anxiety and panic attacks. Often being triggered will put us into a state of fight or flight, known as survival state.

So, what is the opposite of a trigger?

Glimmers.

Glimmers are small moments that spark joy or peace, which can help cue our nervous system to feel safe or calm.

According to psychotherapist and author Deb Dana, who coined the use of the term’s triggers and glimmers, “trauma reshapes our system so that we are more prone to pathways of protection than to pathways of connection.” This keeps us in a survival state instead of a thriving state.

When trauma is triggered, we are trapped in an unhealthy, hyper-vigilant state but when we are guided by our “glimmers,” we redirect our nervous system to feeing safe, connected to ourselves and other people. Glimmers are cues’ that signal safety and once you figure out what your “glimmers” are they can act an antidote to the triggers.

For me, when I’m triggered, the glimmers I use include:

  • Getting a long hug from my husband Brian.
  • Imagining that I am wrapped in the arms of the hugging saint, Amma, while she whispers loving words in my ear.
  • Walking on the beach, deeply breathing in the salty sea air.
  • Listening to my favorite soothing music.
  • Calling a good friend and laughing.
  • Taking an aromatherapy bath with lavender.
  • Having a cuddle session with my cat Max.
  • Unfriending disagreeable or nasty people on social media.

What are the people, places, feelings, smells, sensations that glimmer you back into feeling safe and connected?

Arielle

The Rainbow Effect

This morning, before I got out of bed, I looked out the window and was delighted to see a magnificent, vibrant, and very wide rainbow.

As I enjoyed the magic of the moment, it reminded me that our deepest desires are a lot like rainbows – just because we can’t always see them, doesn’t mean they are not there.

I believe that our desires are signs, clues from our souls, that what we are asking for IS already ours, even when we can’t immediately see it.

Desire is our souls’ way of letting know what our possibilities and probabilities are – otherwise the desire would never arise.

As Rumi once said: what you are seeking is seeking you.

Wishing you love, laughter, and magical kisses,

Arielle

The Power of Ruby Red Slippers and Prayer

Many years ago, I had a career changing meeting set up with a powerful CEO that I was terrified of. I had heard stories, from reliable sources, that he was a master of the dark forces and that he always got his way.

I prepared for the meeting in three ways:

First, I was very clear about the outcome I was desiring.

Second, I bought a pair of dark red patent leather shoes that I named my ruby red slippers and I wore them as a reminder that I had as much or more power than he did.

Third, For the week leading up to the meeting I practiced the technique with a long Hawaiian name, Ho’oponopono.

This is a simple but truly effective method for forgiving, healing, letting go, releasing, recovering, becoming whole, and loving more deeply by silently repeating four phrases:

Please forgive me, I’m sorry, I love you and thank you. As you are repeating these phrases you imagine yourself together with the person or situation surrounded and wrapped by the Divine.

Whether the man I was meeting was really a wicked wizard or just a weird CEO trying to frighten people, the theory is that everything and everyone that comes into your life is a reflection of your own internal state. So, it is actually yourself you must heal no matter where you see the problem.

Did it work?

Absolutely.

I left the meeting with an offer that exceeded all of my expectations and was more than pleased with the outcome. (And, yes, he was definitely a weird wizard with mindboggling talent.)

I have used this technique many times with great success…. if you have something in your life that needs manifesting, forgiveness, healing (and who doesn’t?), give it a try!

Wishing you love, laughter, and magical kisses,

Arielle

For more about this read ZERO LIMITS by the amazing Joe Vitale, bestselling author of more than 40 books.

We Are Never Alone

As so many of us find ourselves praying more often, more fervently than ever as bombs drop on Ukraine, the world economy is in turmoil, the pandemic continues, experiencing inner peace can be a real struggle.

I’ve been on several global prayer webcasts, collectively praying and holding strong intentions for peace, for healings, for miracles, even though at times I couldn’t imagine what kind of miracle to pray for.

As I write this, I am watching the online Celebration of Life for the magnificent Bob Proctor.

Mary Morrissey opened the event by reading the poem below. For me it’s such a beautiful reminder that we are never alone and that we are intricately part of a power, a force, an energy of love that we don’t need to understand but rather a guide to trust that we are always held and wrapped in the arms of God.

I AM THERE
by James Dillet Freeman

Do you need Me?
I am there.
You cannot see Me, yet I am the light you see by.
You cannot hear Me, yet I speak through your voice.
You cannot feel Me, yet I am the power at work in your hands.
I am at work, though you do not understand My ways.
I am at work, though you do not recognize My works.
I am not strange visions. I am not mysteries.
Only in absolute stillness, beyond self, can you know Me as I am, and then but as a feeling and a faith.
Yet I am there. Yet I hear. Yet I answer.
When you need Me, I am there.
Even if you deny Me, I am there.
Even when you feel most alone, I am there.
Even in your fears, I am there.
Even in your pain, I am there.
I am there when you pray and when you do not pray.
I am in you, and you are in Me.
Only in your mind can you feel separate from Me, for only in your mind are the mists of “yours” and “mine.”
Yet only with your mind can you know Me and experience Me.
Empty your heart of empty fears.
When you get yourself out of the way, I am there.
You can of yourself do nothing, but I can do all.
And I am in all.
Though you may not see the good, good is there, for I am there.
I am there because I have to be, because I am.
Only in Me does the world have meaning; only out of Me does the world take form; only because of Me does the world go forward.
I am the law on which the movement of the stars and the growth of living cells are founded.
I am the love that is the law’s fulfilling.
I am assurance.
I am peace.
I am oneness.
I am the law that you can live by.
I am the love that you can cling to.
I am your assurance.
I am your peace.
I am one with you.
I am.
Though you fail to find Me, I do not fail you.
Though your faith in Me is unsure, My faith in you never wavers, because I know you, because I love you.
Beloved, I am there.

Wishing you love, laughter, and magical kisses,

Arielle

P.S. On August 7, 1971, this poem was famously carried to the moon by Apollo 15 astronauts James B. Irwin, David R. Scott, and Alfred M. Worden. Stored in a microfilm file, the poem was intended to be left there for future space explorations.

Are You a Good Lover?

Being a great lover is more than mastering the Kama Sutra. On the deepest level it’s not so much about sex, it’s about leading (and loving) with an open, generous, and flexible heart.

As much as most of us resist change, we must accept that we change, our partners change, and circumstances change.

“To love someone long-term is to attend a thousand funerals of the people they used to be. The people they’re too exhausted to be any longer. The people they grew out of, the people they never ended up growing into. We so badly want the people we love to get their spark back when it burns out, to become speedily found when they are lost. But it is not our job to hold anyone accountable to the people they used to be. It is our job to travel with them between each version and to honor what emerges along the way. Sometimes it will be an even more luminescent flame. Sometimes it will be a flicker that temporarily floods the room with a perfect and necessary darkness.”

– Author Heidi Priebe

We all want to be loved and accepted for who we are.

We want to be loved on our good days and our bad.

We want to feel emotionally and physically safe with our partners.

So, let’s BE that which we say we most desire. Let’s be great lovers.

Wishing you love, laughter, and magical kisses,

Arielle

Raise Your Love Frequency to Manifest Your Soulmate

Love has also been described as an intangible connection between two people that feels exceptionally good and yet, the word and experience of love, cannot be easily defined.

There is wild, crazy “being in love,” and there is the love of a child, friends, family, pets, co-workers, neighbors, community, etc. Then there is “divine love” and connection to God, Goddess or whatever higher power you subscribe to. I think we can all agree that having and being love is a good thing.The entire Universe is made up of energy and we impact this energy field with our thoughts, feelings, emotions, beliefs and actions. All of us our vibrating, all the time, at various frequencies.

When we are in fear, self-doubt, judgment or anger, we are vibrating at a low frequency. When we are focused on love, inspiration, doing good for others, we are vibrating at a higher frequency…. the frequency of love.

Think of yourself as a radio tuner with many stations. Do you want to stay tuned into the FEAR channel of the BLISS channel? You have the power to change channels at any time and it requires that you stay aware of your thoughts, feelings and emotions and rise up to the challenge of being an emotionally mature adult and turn the dial from the negative channel to the happy channel.

Many of you have heard the saying, what you put your attention on grows. When your attention is on love, you magnetize even more love. Conversely, when your attention is on not having love, or you are focused on how lonely you are, or any area of lack, you inadvertently draw this experience to you, and you are actually repelling that which you desire.

One of the fastest ways to raise your love frequency is by doing a very simple daily practice. First, make a list of all the people that you love that you know also love you. Then each day, look at this list and as you do put your attention on your heart as you allow yourself to feel the love you have for each person and from your heart send them a wave of love.

By spending a few minutes each day filling yourself with the experience of love and cosmically sharing that love, you not only raise your love frequency but also make your heart magnetic to more love. When you are consciously tune into the higher love frequencies you not only become magnetic to love you also radiate your essence and become much more attractive.

Another big benefit comes from the scientific research from the Institute of Heartmath which has proven that when you are focused on feelings of love, appreciation and gratitude you boost your immune system for up to 8 hours which means you will be healthier and happier!

Additional sure-fire ways to raise your love frequency:

  • Be kind to yourself and others
  • Fill yourself with feelings of love, appreciation and gratitude.
  • Practice forgiveness.
  • Practice receiving.
  • Practice knowing and trusting that you’re co-creating with the Universe; and remember that if you have a desire, the desire is proof for the seeds for its fulfillment.

If your deepest desire is to manifest a soulmate so that you can spend the rest of your life with someone who is your lover, playmate, best friend and safe place to land….

One last thought: Deepak Chopra says that if you have the desire for something that in itself is proof of its potential! Just as you are seeking your soulmate, he or she is also seeking you… discover how to remove your blocks to love and become visible to your beloved.

The entire Universe is made up of energy and we impact this energy field with our thoughts, feelings, emotions, beliefs and actions. All of us our vibrating, all the time, at various frequencies. When we are in fear, self-doubt, judgment or anger, we are vibrating at a low frequency. When we are focused on love, inspiration, doing good for others, we are vibrating at a higher frequency…. the frequency of love.

Wishing you love, laughter and magical kisses,

Arielle