The Big Benefits of Doing NOTHING!

Did you know that the secret to more creativity, innovation, good health and happiness depends upon your ability to do nothing?

Wow. This is great news.

Neuroscientists have recently proven that not only does “busyness” exhaust our nervous system (which I think we all know), it actually kills our ability to be productive and creative.

It turns out that unstructured time for daydreaming allows our brain to rest, meander, and reboot in a way that creates the space for solutions and new ideas to emerge! It’s what the scientists call “incubation” and leads to innovation.

In research from The Energy Project, it was revealed that a certain amount of inactivity is essential to creativity and that employees who take time out during the day have a 50 percent greater capacity to think creatively.

These same workers see a 46 per cent higher level of health and wellbeing.

Businesses benefit from allowing workers to chill out.

And it turns out that idleness is also great for your health resulting in a reduced heart rate, good digestion and better moods.

So, what are effective ways to chill out?

Watching TV isn’t it.

Nor is listening to music while you walk.

Why? All of these require your mind to be active.

The key to chilling out is to be aware of your intention going into empty time.

You need to choose to allow your mind and body to rest.

You need to be silent and just BE.

For most of us, doing nothing takes practice.

Next time you are doing the dishes or standing in line, allow your mind just to drift. Take five minutes a day to stare out the window.

Or lie in the grass and stare up into the clouds.

Simply allow your body to relax and allow your thoughts and feelings to unfold and watch what happens.

Wishing you love, laughter, and magical kisses,

Arielle

My favorite books of the summer

One of the things I most love about reading fiction is that for me it’s like taking a vacation without having to buy a ticket, pack a bag, or stand in a TSA line. I simply stretch out on my back deck couch, open my book, and dive into another world.

My current obsession is The Henna Artist by Alka Joshi.

This book is a beautifully crafted, captivating story about Lakshmi who was married off to a violent man when she was fifteen.

Two years later, with little education and no money, she escapes to Jaipur, India, capital of Rajasthan also known as the “Pink City,” a beautiful place filled with forts, palaces, and purveyors of rare gemstones.

Set in the mid-1950’s, Lakshmi becomes the favorite henna artist, herbalist, and confidant to her wealthy women clients as she pursues her goal of ultimate independence: owning her own home.

While on the verge of meeting the Maharani of Jaipur and perhaps elevating her position in business and society, a younger sister, Radha, whom she never knew about appears. Radha unfortunately is nicknamed “the bad luck girl” and has arrived in her one and only tattered outfit.

Her lack of social skills become a big heap of baggage for Lakshmi to manage.

Lakshmi feels responsible and wants to nurture her little sister and thus tries to train her to obey the expectations of society, where one misstep could put Lakshmi out of business.

The Henna Artist welcomes us into a colorful, bygone world where caste still rules, secrets cling to brocade laden walls, and wit, wisdom, cunning, and patience provide Lakshmi with lessons about love, devotion, and purpose.

I don’t know if the author actually knows how to apply henna, but I can tell you she is a true literary artist who uses words to paint magical pages that must be turned continuously.

Warning: Don’t start reading late at night unless you are prepared to give up sleep.

Buy the book here!

Of course, we couldn’t luxuriate in the pleasure of reading without writers which is why I am crazy in love with my dear friend Linda Sivertsen’s new book, Beautiful Writers: A Journey of Big Dreams & Messy Manuscripts with Tricks of the Trade from Bestselling Authors.

This book gives aspiring writers and seasoned literary veterans a look into the lives of iconic authors and answers the burning question “How did they do it?!”

Wrapped around wonderfully relatable stories of the highs and lows of her own career writing bestselling, award-winning books for herself and others, these tales from the trenches are packed with laugh-out-loud humor, and raw honesty.

Linda’s wide circle of famous author friends share their personal highs and lows including Terry McMillian, Cheryl Strayed, Elizabeth Gilbert, Anne Lamott, Seth Godin and so many more. If you are a writer or hope to become a writer, this book is a must read.

Buy the book here!

Wishing you love, laughter, and magical kisses,

Arielle

Manifesting Through Surrender

What do you think of when you hear the word surrender?

Do you think it means giving up? Or being passive?

What if in surrendering, you got more instead of less?

What if surrender is strong and courageous?

What if the real power of manifesting has a big element of surrender to it?

These are the topics I discussed with my dear friend, Kute Blackson recently.

Kute, if you don’t already know him, is one of the most unique transformational leaders and visionaries for the younger generation.

His mission is to help people reach liberation and freedom, to assist them to get what they want, and to live their inspired destiny, all from a place of love.

We spent an hour engaged in one of the deepest and richest interviews I’ve done in years.

Our conversation ranged from how surrender can help you live out your deepest destiny to finding love and keeping love, to busting the myths and misconceptions about what real, adult, mature love really is.

You can watch the full hour here for FREE!

Wishing you love, laughter, and magical kisses,

Arielle

P.S. If you want to see more interviews with Kute on surrender please visit www.thesurrendersummit.com.

Where to Meet a Conscious Partner OFFLINE!

Ok my beautiful singles…. in addition to holding your nose and doing the online dating thing (I know you don’t like it, but it often works), here are some true stories of women who met their match IRL:

Every morning Jessica (a commercial airline pilot) rode her Harley to her favorite outdoor café for coffee. Eventually she shared a table and became friendly with a married man who was on her same schedule. One day the man brought his mother to coffee. Mom instantly warmed up to Jessica and berated her son for not fixing Jessica up with his twin brother. Mom was right. Voila, it was a love match and Jessica is now married with great in-laws.

Mia loves everything about energetic healing and signed up for a zoom online Course with one of her favorite teachers. There were more than 60 students on the weekly calls. The students were sometimes put in small breakout groups. Mia began to take notice of Lisa, whose energy she found very appealing. Not knowing if Lisa was gay or straight, Mia boldly sent Lisa a private message in the chat box complimenting her on her great energy and warm smile. That led to more chats. Then video dates. Today they are happily married. (and the energy teacher was their wedding officiant!)

Laurie Sue and Victor, both successful professionals, met and fell in love at “night school.”

In their late forties, divorced, each with one child, they both felt a calling to enroll and study to become part-time interfaith ministers.

Their love of the divine led them to a divine soulmate marriage and a beautiful, blended family.

Volunteer! Find a cause you really believe in and participate and meet other singles who share your passion. When there are fundraisers and events, be sure to volunteer to work the “Sign in” desk, it’s the best way to see and meet everyone!

(My friend, love expert Mat Boggs, met his wife building a house for Habitat for Humanity.)

Linda was studying the melons at Whole Foods when she noticed Greg who seemed to be struggling trying to figure out how to choose a melon. With a big smile and some flirty helpful tips, a coffee date let to a walk down the aisle.

Kevin struggled to find his one true love. He felt as ready as can be.

He even had the honeymoon planned out…. they would go to the San Juan Islands in Washington and kayak to see the whales.

He was always talking about his dream honeymoon.

Finally, I suggested that he take this trip now, and then he could do it again on his honeymoon. (I just had this feeling he needed to go NOW). Fortunately, he listened to me and went.

While kayaking, and gawking over the whales, he met Susie who was in the kayak next to his.

They fell in love, married, and now take their kids kayaking with the whales each year on their anniversary.

Divorced and pushing 60, Carrie had always wanted to take ballroom dancing lessons.

Even though she was concerned that she was too old to do this, she began a weekly class.

Over the course of a year, she got to know and dance with Colin.

Sparks flew and soon they waltzed into each other’s hearts and danced at their wedding three years ago.

There is no shortage of love in the world and no lack of great, conscious beings seeking a healthy, loving, committed partnership.

Open your heart, your mind and your calendar and get out there!

Wishing you love, laughter, and magical kisses,

Arielle

P.S. MANIFEST YOUR SOULMATE – If you haven’t met your soulmate yet, it may be that old thoughts, beliefs, or patterns are sabotaging your efforts.

You may have an unconscious love script that prevents you from being open, willing, and available to love.

You may have a belief that if love is meant to be, it will just magically happen.

Or perhaps you claim to be too busy, or once you lose weight then you’ll be ready, or you live in the wrong city, or you truly don’t trust and know that you are loveable and that you are enough right now!

Whatever limiting beliefs are holding you back, I am excited to share with you that my dear friend, Dr. Claire Zammit, & I have discovered and developed a break-through approach that works. It’s a unique 12-week online Course known as The Love Codes created for conscious, smart women to attract an extraordinary partner and create happy, fulfilling and lasting love.

ON SALE NOW: Take $100 off when you pay in full with the code: SUMMERLOVE

Discover more here!

The Ripple Effect of LOVE

Seeking more love in your life?

A fast, easy way to make it happen is to put your attention on all the love that is already around you (family, friends, pets, etc.) and then actively engage in making love happen and spread by creating a “ripple effect.”

Everything we do and think affects the people in our lives and the choices we make have far-reaching consequences. Like an incredibly interwoven and complicated tapestry, the Ripple Effect, creates connections that we are all a part of. Thoughts and actions are like stones dropped in a pond and they create ripples that travel outward.

Each of us carries within us the capacity to change the world in small ways for better or worse. One inspiring example of the ripple effect was appeared in The New England Journal of Medicine: it recently published a study that showed how a single altruistic kidney donation set off a domino effect, resulting in 10 successive transplants!

10 Ways to share the LOVE:

  • When it’s hot outside, offer lemonade or iced tea to your mail carrier, garbage collectors, police officers and others.
  • Rescue a wallflower! Strike up a conversation with someone who’s standing alone at a party.
  • Send the amazing people in your life an e-card telling them why they’re awesome and how much they mean to you.
  • I once read about a family out to dinner with a special needs child. The child was acting up and the waitress brought over a note that said “God only gives special children to special people” from a mystery guest who paid for the family’s meal.
  • If you are artistic, paint small rocks with words like “Believe” or “Have Faith” or Love Will Find You” and leave in random places.
  • Pay for someone else’s coffee, or their meal when you are in the drive through lane or pay the toll for the car behind you or put coins in the street meters for someone else’s car.
  • Buy gift cards to Subway or McDonalds and hand out to homeless people or pack up meals, socks, and goody bags to hand out to those living on the street.
  • Help someone get recognition for their new business, book or fundraising project by spreading the word for them via your social networks or help an elderly neighbor with chores like yard work raking leaves.

According to a study by Dacher Keltner, PhD, co-director of the Greater Good Science Center at UC Berkley, “being generous is a health booster and has shown to reduce the negative effects of stress and it also slows the heart rate, boosts immune function, and decreases the inflammatory response.”

Finally, another great reason for sharing your love, generosity and kindness is that it’s an oxytocin booster: this is the brain hormone known as the “super glue of love” which is a critical component to experiencing pleasure!

This summer please consider consciously choosing to add more love to the world. And start your own ripple!

Wishing you love, laughter, and magical kisses,

Arielle

Flirting 101 – Come On, Have Some Fun!

Flirting is a time-honored way of signaling interest and attraction in another person. It’s an essential aspect of human interaction and can be an open portal for intimate relationships between two people.

While most people think of flirting as an overt sexual act, it doesn’t have to be.

It can be a simple, playful, and fun way to connect with those around you, men, women, children, it doesn’t matter – just put a smile on your face and make a friendly connection.

It’s easy!

When you are out in public – in the grocery check-out line, getting a coffee, at the bank, a party, an event, wherever, practicing flirting. The idea is to become aware of the people around you and connect with them.

I know one woman who met her husband in the TSA security line at an airport when she complimented him his watch.

Another woman was having coffee at a kiosk and started chatting with the married man next to her. She eventually married his twin brother.

One man asked a woman in a department store for her opinion of a gift he was buying for his Mom and voila, magic happened.” Try this:

Set an intention to make three people smile. Take a deep breath and open your heart then:

  • Make strong eye contact, and ideally look into their left eye, because that’s connected to the attractiveness part of their brain.
  • Have a nice smile on your face.
  • Have open, friendly, approachable body language
  • Touching someone lightly is a form of flirting.
  • Making conversation and laughing at their jokes.
  • Give them a compliment or ask them a question (even if you know the answer).

“That blue shirt really accentuates your beautiful eyes.”

“Those red sneakers are awesome, where did you get them?”

*With a child, tell them a dumb joke such as “How does a camel hide in the desert?” Camouflage!

*Or if it’s an adult, my favorite joke is “Did you hear about the zoo that only had one dog? It was a Shitzu!”

All of these are forms of flirting. Dating expert Greg Behrendt suggests if you’re at a restaurant and you see someone cute that you are interested in, walk over to them, ask to borrow the ketchup, and after they hand it to you, ask to borrow a French fry!”

While flirting doesn’t come naturally to some people, practicing on lots of people, of all ages, is the fastest way to build some memory muscle. The idea is to be present and playful.

Flirting is a way to be a “Daymaker,” a term coined and spread by my dear friend David Wagner – it means to be a person who performs intentional acts of kindness with the intention of making the world a better place. Doing small things with great love.

I believe flirting defiantly is a form of this so go out there, be bold, be brave, and spread some fairy dust on the world!

Wishing you love, laughter, and magical kisses,

Arielle

Traits of Successful Women Who Manifested Their Conscious Partner

You’ve heard the cliché, “success leaves a trail of breadcrumbs,” and having met and interviewed tons of smart, super-successful women who went from alone and dateless to happily married to their conscious soulmate, I have compiled a list (in no particular order) of the qualities they brought forward in themselves to make it happen.

~ They made “finding the One” their biggest priority and made a big commitment to it.

~ They took personal responsibility for their own happiness.

~ They gave up the “story” that they are “too busy” to date and made the necessary time.

~ They soul-searched to discover the traits and qualities they most desired and needed in a soulmate and let go of unrealistic or unnecessary requirements (Brad Pitt looks with a Trump-sized bank account)

~ They learned to understand how and why to shift into their feminine energy when spending time with a conscious, masculine man (as well as how to dance in both their feminine and masculine energies in the world)

~ They prioritized self-care, self-love, and pleasure into their daily routine.

~ They invested time into clearing their limiting beliefs about themselves, men, dating, marriage and online dating.

~ They consciously enlisted the support of friends and ancestors (on the other side) for their “love team.”

~ They created ways to “self-soothe” for the times when they were disappointed, frustrated or ready to give up.

~ They were brave and courageous, were willing to “feel the fear and do it anyway” when it comes to dating.

~ They understood that 98% of the time they would “not know” if he was even a strong potential candidate on the first date and would give “good guys” 3 -5 dates to learn more about them. (Most women don’t feel strong chemistry till date #5!)

~ They made a strong commitment to not waste time with men who quickly raised “red flags.” They did not “smoke the hopium pipe” thinking they could invest in his “potential” be the one to convince a never married 50 year old to make a commitment he has no track record (or likely capacity) of making in the past.

~ They are open-minded, open-hearted, curious and understand that they are not perfect, nor will their beloved be perfect, but they are willing to learn how to perfectly love an imperfect human being.

~ They understand that there will be many disappointing dates, but they do not give up, knowing and trusting that their soulmate is also looking for them.

~ They are willing to get comfortable with the paradox of manifestation—that we must be in strong intention and action while simultaneously being surrendered and detached from outcome.

For some women manifesting a soulmate only took a few months, for others it took three years, all of them said it was worth the effort and they are now happily connected to the conscious partner of their dreams.

Discover how to successfully date online with my FREE Online Dating Guide!

Wishing you love, laughter, and magical kisses,

Arielle

Are you growing spiritually?

My dear friend and soul brother, Kute Blackson, is a beloved inspirational speaker and transformational teacher and he is widely considered a next generation leader in the field of personal development.

Today I’m excited to share with you Kute’s amazing deep dive into what spiritually is.

How can you know if you are growing spiritually?

Is it because you are able to meditate for hours at a time?

Or only eat certain kinds of foods?

Or able to do special yoga postures?

Or are able to recite sacred texts?

Acting spiritual is one thing but truly growing spiritually is another.

Here are a few signs that you are growing spiritually:

1. You start losing interest in “yourself.” You find yourself less and less interested in your story.

You know who you really are, you know that you are NOT your story. And as a result your taste for the drama that comes along with it starts falling away.

You lose interest in drama. Drama simply gives you a false sense of aliveness. When you are in tune with your real self, you are connected to the source of aliveness, thus you are fulfilled. You no longer need drama as a superficial way to try and feel alive.

2. You become less judgmental. The world we live in is a realm of duality. As you grow spiritually you begin seeing beyond right and wrong. Right and wrong is a perception based on your ego’s conditioning. It’s subjective based on the collective cultural agreement. As you grow spiritually you free yourself from the prison of your identity and you move beyond duality. You start seeing life from a higher perspective.

As a result, you are more able to see the whole picture and able to honor each person’s soul evolution.

You realize that EVERYTHING is perfect for your own soul’s evolution even if it doesn’t seem that way at first. You may still feel the feelings that arise but are able to see the inherent perfection and not get stuck there.

3. You stop resisting what is. You stop fighting reality. And you are much more able to accept situations as they are.

When you resist life you suffer. When you resist reality it’s misery. When you accept what is, you bring yourself into a relationship with what is and are then able to choose how to respond.

4. You realize the inherent interconnectedness of all things. You see beyond the illusion of separation. You move into a level of oneness and feel the sense that we are all being lived by the one intelligence. You become more loving as a natural by-product. And you become aware of the impact of your choices and how they affect all humanity.

So you move from a life focused on just yourself. You move beyond a life of just getting to one of giving. As you grow spiritually, service becomes a natural motivation and expression of your life focus.

Love is the fruit of your spiritual growth.

At first, your love may involve mainly yourself. Then it expands beyond yourself to those around you. Then it expands beyond those around you to all humanity.

Spirituality isn’t just chanting mantras and saying nice prayers but is love in action. It’s how you live your life each moment.

You grow spiritually when you don’t just recognize God only in church, or the temple but in everyone, everything, and everywhere you go.

You are love.

And every moment is your opportunity to live it.

Love. Now.

Kute’s mission is to awaken and inspire people across the planet to access inner freedom, live authentically and fulfill their true life’s purpose.

You can join here for his upcoming FREE Surrender Summit!

Wishing you love, laughter, and magical kisses,

Arielle

The Simple Way to Change Your Destiny

In today’s guest blog, my dear friend and holy woman, Sadhviji, simply and elegantly explains a simple way to change your destiny.

A Stanford graduate who was raised in Los Angeles and moved to India 25 years ago, Sadhviji is recognized as one of the world’s leading female spiritual leaders.

Thoughts are tickets to our destiny.

Our thoughts literally create our destinies.

I always used to think that thoughts were just things I had no control over which happened in my brain and I always thought they were true.

As though somehow sitting in my brain was the Knower-Of-It-All and this Knower-Of-It-All would tell me when to feel happy, when sad, when frustrated, when satisfied, when I was okay and good, when I was awful.

So, in response to my thoughts sometimes I’d feel happy. Other times I’d feel sad. Other ones so many other emotions. But I always thought

a) that which was spoken in my brain was absolute truth and

b) that there was nothing I could do about it. But then I learned, here in the lap of the Himalayas, that actually our thoughts are NOT that which is correct about the present or the past, but they ARE determining our future.

And, I learned, I have a choice what to think. I can control, with love, what I think and therefore how I feel. And also, by watching and changing our thoughts we change not only our experience of the present, but also we change our future.

My thought in this moment dictates how I will act, my action then leads to my habits, my character, my karmic package and therefore my destiny. So many of us want to change our life path and our destiny, but we don’t realize the key is with us, and it’s just in a thought.

I know it seems overwhelming. But start by watching your thoughts. Simply become aware of what you’re thinking. Then realize that before each thought, as you watch it arise, you have a choice. You can jump on it like a vehicle taking you somewhere you DON’T want to go, or you can simply NOT jump on it. You can return your awareness to your breath, to your mantra, to the beautiful sun shining or rain falling or moon rising.

Slowly, slowly you will learn that your mind goes where you direct it. And therefore, so does your destiny!

For more wisdom from Sadhviji, please read her book Hollywood to the Himalayas!

“Vivid and poetic…her journey is a river of love, compelling in its authenticity and unflinching honesty.… a must for anyone who is interested in exploring different paths to fulfilment and to the Creator.”

— Jane Goodall

“Sadhvi Bhagawati Saraswati is a great teacher of spirituality and consciousness. Her inspiring wisdom illuminates the path to healing, happiness, and inner peace.”

— Deepak Chopra

Wishing you love, laughter, and magical kisses,

Arielle

Getting Comfortable with Uncertainty

And Just Like That, the title of the new Sex and The City series, comes from Carrie watching Mr. Big suddenly die in the first episode and then, just like that, her life is changed forever.

Since the beginning of the pandemic, nearly all of us have had our own (maybe many) life altering experiences throwing us into the deep end of the pool of uncertainty.

From having to worry about if we would run out of toilet paper, to catching a life-threatening virus, to changes in every aspect of daily life, life as we once knew it has changed. And NO ONE knows anything for certain anymore, in spite of the constant speculation by cable TV hosts trying to figure it out.

According to Dr Christine Carter, “Living with so much uncertainty is hard. Human beings crave information about the future in the same way we crave food, sex, and other primary rewards. Our brains perceive ambiguity as a threat, and they try to protect us by diminishing our ability to focus on anything other than creating certainty.”

It’s time to make peace and learn how to accept uncertainty and to “be with not knowing.”

My 10 Steps to Getting Comfortable with Uncertainty:

1) Accept that normal is not coming back. Right now, there are no reliable answers, and no one is coming to “save us.” Choose to accept the reality of where I am today.

2) Believe and trust that I can have a good life without having the certainty of how things will turn out.

3) Know that I have the resilience, tools, and support to figure out what to do next.

4) When I go down the rabbit hole of worry, doubt, and fear, I remember not to believe every thought that I have. Just because I am having a thought doesn’t make it true.

5) Notice what my “worry/fear” triggers are and smooth them out and comfort myself with self-care (and I love EFT tapping!)

6) Stop doing the behavior that is triggering my fear/worry – whether it’s scrolling through social media or obsessing over the future, become the adult that you are and choose to stop it.

7) Practice playing with my imagination – when I’m having negative thoughts, I turn them around with positive daydreaming beginning with the phrase, “wouldn’t it be lovely if…”

8) Stay present and live in the moment. Rather than catastrophizing about the future, I will ask myself, what’s the next thing I can do (for 5 or 10 minutes) that will ground me and bring me joy? And then go do it.

9) Create and stick to a healthy living routine. Knowing that I am solely responsible for my emotional management, I have created a daily routine for myself that includes healthy eating, a twice daily practice on my Heartmath Inner Balance app, physical exercise, journaling, aromatherapy baths, and practicing being a Pleasure Puppy (see short video here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WoUtJp3zF7Q&t=3s)

10) Reminding myself of my favorite line from A Course in Miracles: “In this moment I have everything that I need.”

While I admit that I find it highly annoying that my life is no longer predictable, I have come to the conclusion that I can still have a great life, it just looks a lot different that I excepted.

Perhaps Lori Deschene sums it up best: “Peace is accepting today, releasing yesterday, and giving up the need to control tomorrow.”

Wishing you love, laughter, and magical kisses,

Arielle