How’s Your Love Life? (& other annoying questions)

With the holiday season just hours away, it’s likely at the family gatherings someone (or many someone’s) will be asking you, “how’s your love life?”

If you don’t have exciting news to share or you are absolutely dreading this question, I have some fun responses. Here are a few ideas:

Polite response: Not as well as I’m hoping for, so please light a candle and say some prayers for me.

Shocking response: Great! I’m crazy in love with an inmate at Florence Supermax. He’s a reformed drug smuggler with the best sense of humor and he says I’m the most gorgeous thing on the planet. He’s up for parole in 2038. He writes me every day and I think he just might be the One.

Acceptable response: I’m signed up on five dating apps and in between desperately flirting online and Facetime, I’m trying to keep up with my day job. Do you think I need a Vampire facial?

Woo-Woo response: I signed up with a psychic who paints portraits of your soulmate and I’m using Google to search for him based on the image I now have. I’m also doing daily affirmations, visualizations, taking aromatherapy baths with a specially made concoction and offering a cash reward to whoever finds him (or her) for me.”

Realistic (for some) response: I’ve started a Go Fund Me page to freeze my eggs, can I send you a link to donate?

Smartass Response: I’m thinking about trying out for some reality shows like Married at First Sight and I’m buying a six month pass to Speed Dating at the local Sports Bar.

Try to remember that your family and loved ones want what’s best for you. Figure out in advance what your answer to this question is and then quickly change the subject and ask them how their life is going.

Wishing you love, laughter, and magical kisses,

Arielle

P.S. Don’t spend 2023 alone. If you are ready to put down the “hopium pipe” thinking love will find you organically, and you desire to manifest Big Love, give yourself an early Christmas present. Check out my online course. When you invest a little time, energy, intention, and attention to making love happen, the Universe delivers.

All the details are here: The Love Codes.

The Simple Trick to Feel Happy Fast

I’ll bet you’ve heard the phrase “turn your frown upside down.” When your frown becomes a smile, research has proven that a smile, even if we are faking it, reacts by releasing hormones such as dopamine and serotonin which increase feelings of happiness.

Being happy, or tricking your brain into happiness by smiling, has a ton of benefits including reducing stress, lowering blood pressure, reducing pain, boosts your immune system and contributes to longevity.

Children smile 400 times day. The average happy adult smiles 40-50 times a day and the typical adult only smiles 20 times a day. There are many more reasons to start smiling more frequently including:

Smiling increases feelings of positivity and studies show that people who smile often are more productive at work and earn more money. This is because they appear more likeable, courteous, more attractive and competent as well as seeming more approachable.

Studies have shown that having an attractive smile makes you more alluring to others, 58% of men and 71% of women rate a smile as the most desirable feature that a potential partner can have. When remembering new faces, 24% of Americans said that a smile is the number one feature they recall first, good or bad.

And check this out: A study performed by a group at the University of Cardiff in Wales found that people who could not frown due to Botox injections were happier on average than those who could frown.

Wishing you love, laughter, and magical kisses,

Arielle

P.S. If you are ready to manifest Big Love, give yourself an early Christmas present. Check out my online course, The Love Codes.

Is Self-Love A Pre- Requisite Too Soulmate Love?

Self-Love is the hot topic in the personal growth movement these days and when it comes to finding soulmate love, there are a lot of myths including this one:

“Until you love yourself first, you won’t be able to get anyone else to love you.”

Can this really be true?

My experience has been that most women and some men (at least in the Northern hemisphere) live with a negative, critical voice in their head that is often filled with ugly, shaming thoughts, self-doubt, and brings with it feelings of never being “good enough.”

And, I began to wonder, do you really have to eliminate that persistent voice in order to find true love?

Do we really need to be 100% in love with ourselves to experience Big Love?

I don’t think so.

What is required is to learn how to “talk back” to that voice and create strategies to love yourself more and better. This includes a big dose of self-awareness so that when the “voice surfaces” you kick its butt!

For instance, you walk past a mirror and immediately react by thinking “God, you look like a total piece of $#it today.”

Immediately stop.

Walk back to the mirror, give yourself a big smile and blow yourself a kiss and say something warm and loving to your reflection.

This is being self-soothing.

Over time, you can change your habitual negative thinking by in-putting loving and uplifting thoughts and beliefs about yourself.

(And please, never forget that just because you have a thought does not make it true!)

Now, as for soulmate love, one of the greatest, most awesome things about living your life with your soulmate is that you begin to heal each other in unimaginable ways.

When you spend time with someone who loves all of you – the good, the bad and the ugly, you begin to love yourself even more.

When you witness the love they have for you, you begin to feel more love for yourself.

And the truth is, even when you are with your soulmate/life-partner, there will still be days when that negative voice appears. If you are “waiting“ to actively seek your soulmate until you are madly in love with yourself, you could be waiting a very long time.

Plus, this is a very selfish thing to do.

Why? Because just as you desire to spend your life with your soulmate, they are also seeking you. And, if you are secluded at home, on the couch, watching mindless reality TV, they can’t find you!

Now, while learning to love yourself a little bit more and more, it’s also important to know that once you manifest the love of your life, you teach them how to treat you by the way they witness how you treat yourself.

I learned this from my husband Brian. Once we got married and began living together, I noticed how he always prioritized his health and wellbeing. At first, I made up stories about how selfish he was because he wasn’t always flexible about the time he took to meditate and exercise. When I finally asked him about it his response floored me. He explained that by sticking to his personal care schedule, he was able to fill himself up so that the rest of the day he had more love and more energy to give to me, and the rest of the world.

Wow. What an insight that was for me. I soon began to follow in his footsteps.

Self-love is important but total self-love, all the time, is not a pre-requisite to soulmate love.

If your soul is calling for a soulmate, the voice in your head shouldn’t be a barrier to love.

Wishing you love, laughter, and magical kisses,

Arielle

P.S. If your heart’s desire is sending you signals you are ready for Big Love, get yourself an early Christmas present. Check out my 12 week online course, The Love Codes.

LOVE isn’t always enough – Tom & Giselle

It’s hard to imagine the heartbreak pain one goes through when you discover you will never be your partner’s #1 priority.

I’m not a football fan but I’ve been following the story of the demise of the once storybook 13-year marriage of Tom Brady (45) and Gisele Bundchen. (42)

It’s clear there was a time when they were once madly in love.

Giselle willing gave up her supermodel status (and other career dreams) to raise a family. I’m pretty sure she believed Tom when he told her he was going to finally retire to spend more time with her and the kids. And then he broke his promise. Probably not the first of many promises.

And in spite of still loving him, and he says he loves her, she decided divorce was her only option.

Sometimes love just isn’t enough. When the trust is gone, it’s gone.

Divorce is devastating for most people and research shows that during and after a divorce work productivity decreases by 40%.

This is bad news for both Tom and the Buccaneers (they’ve just lost 3 games in a row), not to mention the 10 businesses he has co-founded or is a shareholder in, and his many endorsement deals.

Yes, he will always live on as the ultimate G.O.A.T. in his sport but I think someday Tom will come to understand that choosing football over his wife and family was a brutal price to pay.

Let’s all send them both a lot of light and love.

Wishing you love, laughter, and magical kisses,

Arielle

Have More Love in Less Than 5 minutes

In biology there is a term called imaginal cells and it explains how a caterpillar transforms into a butterfly.

The metamorphosis begins when the caterpillar hunkers down on a perch and forms a chrysalis. It then dissolves and decomposes into a cosmic ooze.

During this process imaginal cells, which have been lying quietly inside the DNA of the caterpillar, spring to life, igniting new form and structure until a tipping point is hit and the caterpillar emerges as a beautiful butterfly.

For those of you seeking to find love, keep love, or be love, you can create more love in your life by awakening your own imaginal cells of love. The process is easy.

Write down a list of all the people with whom you share love. Parents, kids, siblings, friends, co-workers, pets. etc. This list can be as long as you would like.

Sit in a quiet place, take several slow deep breaths, in through your nose and out through your mouth.

Then move your attention to the area around your heart as you slowly read through your list, taking the time to really focus on each person.

Then close your eyes while keeping your attention on your heart and allow yourself to feel how grateful you are for the abundance of love in your life.

Fill yourself up with love, gratitude and appreciation and re-experience the memories of love as you think of each of these loved ones. Remember to include yourself.

By putting your attention on having and being more love, your heart automatically becomes magnetic to more love.

In just five minutes a day, this simple, daily practice will spark your own imaginal cells to transport you into a world of more love.

Wishing you love, laughter, and magical kisses,

Arielle

Secret Dating Codes for Singles in Supermarkets

I swear I am NOT making this up.

Next time you go to the market to pick up a few items, you can also use some secret signals to potentially pick up a soulmate!

On her recent podcast, former “Bachelor” star Brittany Hockley claims there are “hidden meanings” singles are using which include placing peaches, pineapples, or bananas in your cart.

“You have to get a cart and you go to the fruit aisle. If you pick up a bunch of bananas, if they are upright, so the curve’s facing up in the top cart, this means you are single. Now if you just want to buy bananas but you’re not looking, you turn them the other way, down — so that means you are not available.

Britt also says people in the “singles club” use placing an “upside down” pineapple in your cart.

“If you have a pineapple upside down in your cart, you are telling everybody that you are a swinger and you are open to swinging,” she explained. “But if you’re looking for a relationship, you need to grab a peach, place the fruit in the cart of the person you’re interested in revealing that you’re open to meeting them.”

Yes, I know this sounds totally weird and crazy and YET, I know a woman who met (and married) her soulmate when they connected in the produce section of Whole Foods.

Give it a try, it could be lots of fun.

Wishing you love, laughter, and magical kisses,

Arielle

Romance, Food & Your Appetite for Love & Life

Dating, whether you love it or loathe it, is an indispensable part of the soulmate manifestation process (and regular date nights are essential once you are a couple). Eventually, there will be a “first dinner date.” What you order will let him or her know if you have a healthy appetite for love and life.

On these early dates, we want to let our large appetite for life, our enthusiasm for life, really shine through as much as possible.

For those of you with gluten or other sensitivities (I fall into this category), it might be best just to order something you know is “safe” for you to eat rather than engage in a big conversation with the server, which will lead to a talk about your various ailments which might make you appear “high maintenance.”

If you are vegan or vegetarian, no problem, as long as you aren’t sitting in judgment if your date orders a steak. If you are a strident vegan, and you can’t watch anyone eat meat products, that is something to figure out BEFORE you go out on a dinner date.

For those of you “foodies” out there… be adventurous and let your date know that you love trying new things.  Foodies need to find each other!

One other thought:  Judging how someone else eats, even if you believe they are harming themselves, is toxic to you, not them.

What got me thinking about all of this was a blog I recently read by Katie Oldenburg (via The Frisky) on this topic.  Here’s what she thinks your first date food order says about you… you decide for yourself!

Anything With Garlic: I have no self-awareness or foresight … or I don’t like you.

Tacos: I’m impulsive and a short-term thinker.

Burger And Fries: I want something delicious because I’m hungry. It’s not glamorous and you may judge me for it, so go ahead.

Buffalo Wings: I’m adventurous and not afraid of getting down and dirty.

Pasta: I’m a romantic. There’s something seductive about a savory plate of pasta, as long as sauce isn’t dripping all over the place.

Steak: I’m dominant and powerful. Anybody who wants to slice into a big filet with a steak knife says “I’m in control” (and maybe that attitude will spill into the bedroom later on).

Chicken: I play it safe. May be perceived as boring.

Pizza: I’m down-to-earth. I’m not too uppity, but I also might not be very adventurous.

Meatloaf: I’m not here to impress you. There’s nothing impressive or sexy about meatloaf, therefore there’s nothing impressive or sexy about this date.

Quesadilla: I’m fun, easy going and playful.

Surf And Turf: I’m fancy, sort of materialistic and don’t care about money, because you’re paying.

Salmon: I like you and consider your feelings. I chose a lean piece of fish that’s not too smelly or hearty, tastes good and is classy.

Chicken Fingers: I am a child trapped in an adult’s body and am unaware that you’re probably judging me.

One last thought.  When I was dating, I would generally eat something before going out to dinner, because I didn’t want anyone to see just how ravenous I can become when I get hungry and I am a super sloppy, messy eater.  I would generally order something that I liked ”enough” that wouldn’t end up all over me or them.

Wishing you love, laughter, and magical kisses,

Arielle

Don’t Blame the Victim!

A big part of having success with the Law of Attraction is understanding that “thoughts are things” and that our feelings, thoughts, beliefs help to co-create our reality. Other factors that also influence our lives include karma, divine timing, destiny, free will and that omnipresent reality of “shit happens.”

When something really bad happens to someone – let’s say a serious diagnosis, losing a job, a big car crash, and then a supposedly well-meaning “spiritual friend” asks them, “ what thoughts were you having that would cause this?”

Well, this scenario just makes me crazy.

We would never ask an abused toddler, “hey kid, what thoughts did you have that created these beatings?”

So, unless someone is sitting around thinking, “wow, wouldn’t it be cool if I manage to get stage 4 colon cancer so I can scare myself and my family and go on a multi-year journey to fight the cancer and maybe live?”

It’s highly unlikely any of us have consciously had that thought or any thought to choose a bad event. So, while it is true that we cause things with our thoughts, fears and beliefs, it is also true that there are other factors that are at work here.

We all benefit from being more aware and more mindful of our thoughts and as much as possible trying to keep our thoughts positive, but it’s also not useful to “blame the victim,” and kick them when they’re down, by suggesting they caused the problem.

We are not privy to their soul’s purpose and path. We don’t know what trials and tribulations they agreed to before incarnating in this lifetime, so let’s do what we signed up for: to be their friend, cheerleader, support system, safe place to land. Let’s hug them with our arms and provide emotional safety for them.

I often tell my closest friends that I am always there for them when they need a place to rant and rave and vent.

I can create a safe place for their expression and then bring them back into a loving frequency. (and they do the same for me)

Here’s to a kinder, gentler world of loving support for all.

Wishing you love, laughter, and magical kisses,

Arielle

How to Make Great Decisions

If you struggle with making decisions, large or small, whether it’s what to eat for dinner or which new car to buy, or is it time to change jobs, you are not alone. Decision making can be tough! Today’s gest blog from expert Sarah Ramsey offers helpful advice on how to do it.

As a child I thought grownups had a map of how to make great decisions. If I followed the map and followed the rules I would have the white fence, the 2.5 kids, a golden retriever named Lucy, and a husband who adored me. Instead, I got two great kids, a messy divorce, and a bunny named Snuggles who pooped all over my house. Life did not turn out the way I wanted and apparently there is no secret map for grown-ups that helps you know the next right decision.

As a people pleaser I made decisions based on how to avoid making people upset. This was a terrible strategy and did NOT get me the life of my dreams. Success leaves clues and great decision makers know the three secrets of successful decision making.

1. Indecision is a decision: If you are one of those “I will decide tomorrow” type of people, then it’s crucial to get honest with yourself and acknowledge that your decision-making process is not to decide. If choosing not to decide has landed you the perfect guy, the perfect job and the perfect confidence, then keep choosing indecision. If indecision has not gotten you the life you want, then the obvious solution is to try something else.

2. Problem solving partners: If I want to play cello, then my first step is probably going to be to try to learn the cello on my own through watching YouTube videos. If I still can’t play the cello within 6 months, then it’s only logical to hire a teacher. If trying it on my own doesn’t work, then the logical solution is to get help. Self-confidence comes from telling yourself the truth! The truth is if I put time and thought into playing the cello, but never actually learn to play, then I’m not doing it on my own. If I could figure things out on my own, then I already would have. If trying to solve the problem on your own isn’t working, then it’s time to try something else.

3. Become a process princess: You probably have a process for making coffee and paying your bills. If you don’t have a process for making decisions, then you are going to be stuck in overthinking. Thinking and talking about your problems is not the same as solving your problems. Moving isn’t the same as moving forward. Successful people think about how they make decisions and ensure they are not doing the same things over and over again while expecting to get different results!

When you get clear about how to make a great decision, then the decision doesn’t feel so scary.

You live with less fear and the confidence to build the life and relationships you want!

If you haven’t had formal training in how to make a decision and want to move forward faster, then check out Problem Solved: Simple Habits For Complex Decisions by Sarah K. Ramsey on Amazon, Audible and Barnes and Noble.

Wishing you love, laughter, and magical kisses,

Arielle

Meghan, Harry, Will and Kate

With the recent passing of Queen Elizabeth, I found myself thinking a lot about the rift in the royal family.

We don’t always get along with our siblings and in-laws but fortunately for most of us, our family drama isn’t played out on the world stage. The Royals couldn’t be on a bigger stage and it’s not going away, so time to rewrite the script.

I think it’s safe to assume that they are all guilty of something (or many things) and they could all make a case for why they should be angry and hold a grudge against each other.

But I’m pretty sure not one of them ever woke up in the morning thinking “what could I do to create chaos and havoc in our family.”

So, in spite of the hurt feelings and wrongdoings, how do they get to forgiveness?

At its essence, forgiveness is the willingness to let go of the hurt and give up suffering.

It’s a decision to no longer find value in anger or blame and it’s a letting go of the desire to judge another or our self because of something that happened in the past.

It’s a choice to feel love rather than to judge or condemn and, it’s often not easy…. and it doesn’t mean that we forget… but we do let go.

Forgiveness is something we do for our self so we no longer have to carry negativity.

It releases us from the past and allows us to heal and let go and be more at peace in the present moment.

When I am stuck in “I’ve been done wrong,” one of the practices that works well for me is to sit down and write a letter to the one I need to forgive. This is not a letter than will ever be sent, but a chance to write down and FULLY express how hurt and wronged I feel…. to write down what happened from my perspective.

Once I’ve written it all down… I add to the end of the letter, I forgive, you, I bless you and I set you free.”

Then, I write a second letter from them to me. Using my imagination, I channel them and have them tell ME the story of what happened from their perspective… which usually results in finding out that they never really meant to cause harm…. and then, I end that letter with I forgive, you, I bless you and I set you free.”

When it comes to love, I know that being able and willing to learn to forgive is essential to all healthy relationships. (And sometimes, it’s necessary to forgive and to also eliminate certain people from your life if they are toxic or detrimental to your core happiness.)

With the loss of their beloved matriarch, Queen Elizabeth, the Royals need each other more than ever.

Meghan and Harry’s kids deserve to have the love of their Grandparents (King Charles II and Queen Consort Camilla), their Aunt and Uncle, Princess Kate and Prince William, and their first cousins. I would urge all of them to dig deep and forgive the past and move on.

Wouldn’t it be great if they could all go to family therapy together, hash it out, and then kiss and make up?

Now, that would be a reality show I would want to watch.

Wishing you love, laughter, and magical kisses,

Arielle