Maybe it’s just me, but when someone does something mean or upsetting (to me or anyone I know and love), I find getting to real forgiveness is super hard.
I just want to dig in and make them bad and wrong, and I find myself thinking of ways to get revenge. And yes, I know better, and in spite of “not wanting to,” I do make myself forgive… even if it sometimes takes me a while to get there.
At its essence, forgiveness is the willingness to let go of the hurt and give up suffering.
It’s a decision to no longer find value in anger or blame and it’s a letting go of the desire to judge another or ourselves because of something that happened in the past.
It’s a choice to feel love rather than to judge or condemn, and it’s often not easy… and it doesn’t mean that we forget… but we do let go.
Forgiveness is something we do for ourselves so we no longer have to carry negativity.
It releases us from the past and allows us to heal and let go and be more at peace in the present moment.
When I am stuck in “I’ve been done wrong,” one of the practices that works well for me is to sit down and write a letter to the one I need to forgive. This is not a letter that will ever be sent, but a chance to write down and FULLY express how hurt and wronged I feel… to write down what happened from my perspective.
Once I’ve written it all down… I add to the end of the letter, “I forgive, you, I bless you and I set you free.”
Then, I write a second letter from them to me. I actually channel them and have them tell ME the story of what happened from their perspective… which usually results in finding out that they never really meant to cause harm… and then, I end that letter with “I forgive, you, I bless you and I set you free.”
When it comes to love, I know that being able and willing to learn to forgive is essential to all healthy relationships. And sometimes, it’s necessary to forgive and to also eliminate certain people from your life if they are toxic or detrimental to your core happiness.
Wishing you love & freedom,