During the dating process we are often on high alert for “red flags,” the things they say or do that trigger fear that they could be trouble. We’re looking for our deal-breakers in a fierce need to protect our tender hearts from potential heartbreak.
While it’s smart to be paying attention, and when you see or hear something un-settling or disturbing, be SURE to do these two things:
- Never make assumptions.
- Ask clarifying questions before coming to any conclusions that will have you throwing out the baby with the bath water.
I recently came across a wonderful list of “relationship green flags” from therapist Sara Kuburic.
This list clearly outlines the traits and qualities of an emotionally intelligent person that has potential capacity for a healthy, long term, loving relationship:
- They apologize then they are wrong.
- Their words and behaviors align.
- They encourage your connections with friends and family.
- They speak about their ex-partners with respect.
- They communicate clearly and honestly.
- They set, honor and respect boundaries.
- They show up authentically and offer you space to do the same.
- They are intentional about resolving conflict.
- They are actively working on growth and healing.
- They share compatible goals for the relationship.
- They make you feel seen, heard, and appreciated.
So often I’m asked, “how do I know if he/she is the one?”
Using the above list along with Having connection, compatibility, chemistry and a shared vision for the future is a strong indication you have found “The One.”
Wishing you love, laughter, and magical kisses,