Are They Your Soulmate?

Happily. Ever. After.

These are the three most dangerous words for women in love.

Even the smartest women fall into a love trance thinking that now that they have found their soulmate, the love of their life, he/she will naturally know how to make them happy, satisfied and content.

Sure, you’ve heard that relationships take work, and yet you believe that your “soulmate love” will be effortless.

You’ve found a love that is rare and precious, an unimaginable love.

A love that will conquer everything.

And then a year, or ten, or twenty later you may find yourself restless, or worse, angry, frustrated, disappointed and ready to give up and head for divorce court.

One of the most common questions I am asked is:

“How do I know if he/she is my soulmate?”

It’s a great question because there are so many myths and misconceptions about this one word.

I believe a soul mate is someone we feel a deep and profound connection to. Someone with whom we can completely be ourselves with. Someone that we love unconditionally and they love us unconditionally.

A soulmate is someone who will often be our greatest teacher, our greatest source of growth.

So, how do I know if he/she is my soulmate?

First and foremost, you feel emotionally and physically safe with them. You love each other in spite of all the inherent quirkiness.

When you are with your soulmate you feel that you are becoming a better person, a better version of “you.”

And, while all relationships go through rocky periods, when you believe he/she is your soulmate, you are willing to work through issues.

It’s important to understand that your soulmate not only knows how to push all your buttons, on an unconscious level it’s part of the reason you’ve chosen them as it provides a unique opportunity for growth.

(If the majority of what you feel with your lover is hot, hot chemistry, but not much else, this isn’t a soulmate connection, it’s lust, which only lasts for so long, at most two years.)

As you go through the dating process, remember that modern day society has conditioned us to look for and seek perfection, and we all know that perfection is not possible.

In choosing a lifetime partner, look for someone with whom you share unconditional love, along with connection, compatibility, good communication, chemistry, and most importantly, a shared vision for the future.

Ultimately, successful soulmate love is all about this:

“We come to love not to find a perfect person but to learn to love an imperfect person perfectly.” ~Sam Keen

Wishing you love, laughter, and a magical New Year,


p.s. For more on this topic read Turn Your Mate into Your Soulmate in which there are 16 steps to guide you into passion, connection and a lifetime of soulmate love.

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