Givers, Takers and Emotional Vampires

Over the years I have observed that most people fall into one of three categories that I have named Givers, Takers, and Emotional Vampires. It’s pretty easy to figure out that Givers are heart -entered lovers who’s first consideration is the other person. They provide love, comfort, support, care, compassion and empathy. Givers make any room they walk into, and the world, a better place. Takers walk into most situations thinking, “what’s in this for me?” They are not necessarily bad people, they are just me-centric. Takers are also very capable of giving, it’s just not their starting place. (I confess that I fall into this category, my beloved Brian is a Giver to the max!)

There are a lot of takers who believe they are primarily givers….they want to see themselves as these great, compassionate folks but they operate out of unconscious needs and self interest hoping we won’t see what they are really up to. Generally their requests come with a super sweet tone of voice and they preface things by telling you how much they love you, care for you and “oh by the way can you do X,Y, Z for me?” And, some part of you ends of feeling slimed but you don’t know why.

And then, there are the emotional vampires. These folks are predatory, parasitic, and bad for your health. They want to feed off your energy by demanding your attention. They are quite often Drama Kings and Drama Queens and while it can be interesting or amusing to listen to their tales of woe (and maybe even have you feeling like your life is pretty good compared to theirs) this is a one-sided relationship and there are no goodies in it for you.

I am bringing this to your attention because it is now officially Spring and it’s a great time of year to clear out the clutter in your home and in your life.

Spend a little time looking to see if you are inadvertently feeding any emotional vampires and if you are, are you willing to banish them from your life???

And then, look and see who the Givers are in your life, and is there any thing special you would like to do for them to show your love, gratitude and appreciation?

And finally, look and see how you are showing up in your world? Where and with whom are you a Giver?

A Taker?

Maybe even an emotional vampire?

For me, I am committing to be more like Brian….I want to stretch myself and find new ways to be more of a Giver and less of a Taker. And for sure there are a few emotional vampires I plan to banish instantly!

Wishing you love, laughter and magical kisses,


Love Begets Love

I woke up this morning with an open heart and a ton of gratitude for all of the soulmates in my life. Yes, I said ALL the soulmates in my life. I have so many! Brian, of course, is my best friend, lover, husband, romantic partner in life and I have soulmate friends, soulmate business partners and soulmate pets.

This past weekend Mike Koenigs and I hosted our 2nd annual 21st Century Book Marketing event (370 authors in one room!) and it was a massive, exciting, exhilarating, content explosion of fun and information in a package of love and friendship.

The participants really connected with each other and the speakers and panelists. One journalist described the event as a “cross between a love-in and a trip to Tomorrowland.”

Whether I was onstage leading a panel discussion or walking through the room, everywhere I looked I saw happy, friendly, smiling faces. The legendary Harvey Mackay, author of the New York Times #1 bestseller Swim With The Sharks Without Being Eaten Alive, reminded us that one of his secrets to success is to always ask others how we can serve them without expecting anything in return.

While I am sure he was thinking in business terms, I was reminded that it’s also stellar relationship advice. So many people think about relationship as a 50/50 partnership and what I have discovered is this:

Give 110% all the time and don’t keep score.

Just give from your soul, from the bottom of your heart because you want to….Because you love them.

Make a list right now of all the soulmates in your life and think of a way to show them how much you love them.

If it is hard for you to FEEL your way into your future wedding, be sure to check out The Soul Mate Kit, you will find countless exercises to help you get over the obstacles and find your soulmate.

My new book Wabi Sabi Love is now available!  Finding your Soulmate is just the beginning.  Read how successful couples keep the soulmate fire burning.  Receive a priceless bonus bundle of advanced love attraction resources and techniques when you order your copy right here:   Wabi Sabi Love