Tag Archives: harville hendrix

The REAL Purpose of Marriage

Posted by Jun 26, 2018 , , , Leave a Comment

Someone once said, “Men marry women with the hope they will never change. Women marry men with the hope they will change. Invariably, they’re both disappointed.”

If you’re marrying in the belief that it will make your life significantly better, then things probably aren’t great to begin with. Only you can make yourself happy and when you are happy, and you are with your soulmate/life partner, that is the icing on the cake.

That said, there are always ways to improve your relationship, reignite the fun and passion, and rekindle your commitment, especially when you understand the “real purpose of marriage.”

Oprah calls relationship expert, Harville Hendrix, “the marriage whisperer,” and he is one of my favorite love experts. Harville teaches that the real purpose of marriage is for each of us to heal our childhood wounds. He says that our brain has a built-in “mate-selector” and that we choose someone that has the playbook to push all of our buttons. And…

Harville explains that there will be times when their behavior replicates the worst of our early caregivers.

So the truth about a soulmate marriage is that it’s biggest purpose is for us to heal each other.

Yes, there will be plenty of blissful days and wonderful times and there will also be days where you really don’t like your soulmate at all…in fact you may even hate them temporarily. And this is normal.

And it doesn’t mean you don’t love them.

So, what is true love?

“True love is loving the person for what they love, who they are, for what they stand for. If you go into a marriage loving what you love, not what they love, that is not love. Real love is not finding someone to hold your hand and find common ground with; the institution of marriage is to push you out of your comfort zone, to lift you up above what you need, so you can provide what you’re needed for,” explains Rabbi Baruch Ezagui.

He says “marriage is the highest calling of mankind. It includes the marriage between body and soul, heaven and earth, spirit and matter, one human and another.“

When you are faced with challenging times in your marriage, first remember that this is normal, and then step into the bigger picture and provide what you are most needed for.

Wishing you love, laughter, and magical kisses,

Arielle

Where Did the Love Go?

Posted by Jun 5, 2018 , , , , , Leave a Comment

Seems like the stars and planets have clustered to bring pain to people’s love lives this past week. I’ve gotten many calls and emails from heartbroken people who are baffled and confused by unexpected “love turmoil.”

I don’t know what the celestial answer is, but I do know what to do and what not to do when the “Sh#t” hits the fan:

1) Don’t immediately react. Keep breathing.

2) Don’t automatically assume the relationship is over. Keep breathing.

3) Don’t assume you did anything “wrong” (unless you did, in which case google the best way to make a proper apology and do it). Simply saying I’m sorry is generally not sufficient.

4) Ask for a time when you can sit down and talk (ideally in person) and then be sure to REALLY listen:

One of the best ways to carefully listen to your partner and have them feel really certain that you are “getting” them is to learn a simple and easy five-step technique known as the Imago Dialogue created by Harville Hendrix and Helen LaKelly Hunt.

Step One: Listen without interrupting.

Step Two: Act as a mirror. When your partner stops talking repeat back to him what you heard as accurately as possible. Ask, “Did I get that” and “Is there more?”

Step Three: Summarize, especially if he added “more”. Then ask again “Did I get it all?”

Step Four: Validate. “What you said makes sense to me.” This statement doesn’t mean you have to agree with him; it simply lets him know you understand.

Step Five: Empathize. Let him know that you can imagine, if you were in his position, how he might be feeling such as hurt, scared, angry, disappointed, etc.

By listening in this careful, structured way, your partner will feel seen, heard and understood.

5) When it’s your turn to share, use “I” statement. Be honest, open and vulnerable. No blaming, no shaming and no “constructive criticism.” Hendrix says all criticism is a form of violence. Remember you are a “team,” and even though things are ugly at the moment, the love is most likely still there; you just need to be committed to a dialogue that is kind, respectful and focused on a win/win creative solution.

Wishing you love, laughter, and magical kisses,

Arielle

I’ve Got Something Special for You

Posted by Jun 18, 2013 , , , , , , , , , , , , Leave a Comment

One of the most fun and creative things I get to do in my life is interviewing the world’s top love experts…luminaries like Deepak Chopra, Harville Hendrix and Helen LaKelly Hunt, John Gray, Lisa Nichols, Marianne Williamson, Gay and Katie Hendricks, John Assaraf, Marci Shimoff, and so many more!

It’s all part of the AMAZING and FREE online Series I host called Attract Your Soulmate Now. I honestly feel like I have gotten a Ph.D. in love by interviewing more than 50 of the world’s top authors, thought leaders, and experts, who have shared with me their insights, tips and techniques on attracting powerful love into your life.

During the 9 days of this free online event, these love experts offer you their best teachings and advice, and they’ll share their latest research and discoveries on how to attract and cultivate deep, soulful love.

Here’s the really good news …. there is absolutely no cost to you, the payoff is huge!

Reserve Your Spot For Attract Your Soulmate Now!

You’ll learn proven techniques to:

  • Manifest the love of your life
  • Let go of past hurts and attachments
  • Break-through fears (It can be terrifying to love someone so much!)
  • Master successful dating strategies
  • Communicate and resolve conflicts
  • Ask for (and get!) what you want from a partner
  • Sustain a deeply soulful connection

Plus, master panelists will share their best insights on “dating, mating and flirting,” increasing self-love, changing your limiting beliefs, improving communication in all your relationships, bringing more playfulness to your love life, navigating the world of online dating, surviving a breakup, and using astrology, numerology, and feng shui to find love.

I can hardly believe how much wisdom and insight we have packed into just 9 powerful days!

I even invited some real-life soulmate couples who reveal how they prepared themselves for Big Love and how they manifested each other. They also give an inside look at what soulmate love is all about.

Join me To Attract Your Soulmate Now!

Does this work? Just ask our event director Bevin Lynch who participated in this series in 2011 and is now engaged and planning her Fall wedding!

Previous event participants have said they experienced real break-throughs, resulting in big shifts in their love lives:

“I feel so blessed to have come across these teachings at the place I am now in my life-dating for the first time at the age of 33. Tears of gratitude fill my eyes when I listen to and learn from the talks!” –Melana

“Recently single after being in a relationship for three years, I had been afraid to date again. But this series completely changed my perspective and now I’m so hopeful!” –Cheyenne

“I love the whole series! Especially the messages about self-acceptance and how to connect to our feelings . . . plus, all the fun dating advice. I’m now ready to try online dating with a whole new perspective and ability to attract my soulmate to me!” -Jill

So whether you’re new to dating, just getting back in the game, or wondering if the person you’re with could actually be “the one,” you owe it to yourself to participate in this extraordinary “love-changing” series. And it won’t cost you a penny!

Discover How To Attract Your Soulmate Now!

Wishing you love, laughter, and magical kisses!

Arielle