When Life Sucks

Whether you’ve lost your job,

Been dumped by a lover,

Had a family member or friend (or you) get seriously ill,

Or someone has died…

There are days, even months or years, when life sucks.

Surviving these times with grace isn’t easy, but it is possible.

When this happens to me, the first thing I do is allow myself to feel as upset and miserable as I do.

Trying to suppress my true feelings, ignore them, or pretend they aren’t there is just a set up for more bad feelings.

Next, I share my feelings with someone I really trust. Someone who won’t automatically try to “fix” me but has enough emotional intelligence just to sit and listen and hold the space for me. Someone who can be with me in all my misery. (These are rare people, choose wisely.)

 

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Then I go into research mode and look for solutions that might make the situation better or more tolerable. And, if I find solutions, I don’t try to do everything at once but rather take baby steps.

And, I also take time to chill out and give myself a break by eliminating responsibilities that can wait while I sort things out.

I take time to remember that even though things suck right now, it won’t always be this way. In fact, most of the best things that have ever happened to me were initiated or a result of the worst things that have ever happened. (Really!)

Most importantly, I make a daily gratitude list of all the good in my life.

Wishing you love, laughter and magical kisses,

Arielle

Single and Blue at Christmas? Here’s What to Do….

Single for the holidays?

Feeling down about it?

Trying to talk yourself out of your feelings?

We live in a world that is forever preaching to us to be upbeat, optimistic and have positive thoughts.

I disagree.

Some times we have to allow ourselves to simply feel what we are feeling. To deny, ignore, or suppress our true feelings doesn’t make these feelings go away and can actually make us sick on some level.

Here’s what I do when I am experiencing negative emotions.

First, identify the feeling. Is it sadness? anger? resentment? disappointment? Then I give myself full permission, for 3 minutes, to completely dive into my thoughts and feelings and I do my best to stay totally focused on the emotion. (no happy thoughts allowed!)

Next, I take out my journal and write down in detail my experience, including a description of my expectations that aren’t currently being met. I then check to see if there are any other feelings bubbling up that are asking to be felt, and if so, I repeat the process.

Finally, I make a gratitude list of all the things, large and small, that I am grateful for. My list often begins with items such as:

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