I believe we are all perfectly imperfect beings doing the best we can, most of the time.
And yet, we are now living in an era where cancel culture has become de rigueur, second chances are few and far between, and the art of forgiveness appears to have vanished.
We all have said and done stupid, regrettable things and I believe that if we own what we’ve done, and give a proper apology, and make amends, shouldn’t we be forgiven?
I see this as an issue in our personal relationships as well as in our culture.
Your significant other may be the greatest person on the planet but that doesn’t mean they aren’t going to make you crazy from time to time.
When your “annoyance” button has been pressed, take an immediate time out and calm yourself by sitting down, closing your eyes, and taking some deep breaths. Breathe in slowly to the count of 4, hold for the count of 4, breathe out for the count of 6. Repeat 10x.
Then, try this: Imagine you are both in a Courtroom, in front of a judge and jury, and you are the defense attorney. It’s your job to argue on behalf of your spouse (or whoever) and explain to the judge and jury why they are behaving this way and what caused them to do it.
Argue like their life depends upon it.
Chances are you will dissipate your annoyance and reach a deeper understanding of their behavior.
What if we all agreed to have a statute of limitations on just how long we are going to hold minor offenses against humans being human?
I think it’s time we come to a collective agreement and have “love amnesty” for ourselves, our friends and family, and our fellow imperfect humans.
Life is hard enough these days without holding grudges and judging people for relatively minor offenses.
I admit I sometimes get perverse pleasure in being angry and self-righteous when I feel offended by someone’s behavior but the only one getting hurt is me and my nervous system.
When I notice I am doing this, I do my mindful breathing and then I channel my inner Dalai Lama. I see him in my heart laughing and exuding love and compassion and then I consciously choose to embrace his frequency of love.
It works every time.
Wishing you love, laughter, and magical kisses,