A Wabi Sabi Peaceful Transition

March 4th, 2012 by Arielle

Fun and full of life, my Aunt Pearl was always one of my favorite people. Whenever I would call her she would explode with enthusiasm as if hearing from me was like winning the lottery!

Perpetually cheerful and optimistic, Aunt Pearl had a ton of interests and we nicknamed her the “Culture Queen.” Six nights a week she was out on the town. She loved politics, opera, symphony, theatre, her friends, reading (anything by Tom Friedman was a favorite), traveling, the Miami Dolphins and her job as an assistant to an attorney with a busy practice.

She had married in her twenties only to have her husband killed in a robbery six months after the wedding. She never remarried or had children but she was easily one of the happiest people I’ve ever met.

Ten years ago, in August 2001, for her 80th birthday my brother, sister and I (and several other family members) took her to Aspen, Colorado for the annual music festival. We attended daily concerts, took hikes in the mountains, and sampled the local restaurants. It was a magical time.

A few months later she thought she had the flu. She hadn’t been feeling well and she had noticed that she had been losing a lot of weight. This was something she was very pleased about since she had been dieting most of her life. She went to the doctor and received devastating news. She had pancreatic cancer and was told she had three months or less to live.

Two months earlier we had buried our stepfather of the same disease. We knew what she was in for. It was impossible to believe.

We all took turns flying to Miami Beach to visit with Aunt Pearl and in true form she was still upbeat despite her reality. She began making plans for her funeral and burial. She put her affairs in order, gave me instructions on how to get into her safety deposit box, and lists of who was to get what. This included detailed instructions about the clothes she wanted to be buried in. Because of the weight loss she was finally able to fit into a beautiful gold evening gown that she hadn’t worn in over thirty years.

Before her final trip into the hospital she had taken the gown out and hung it on her bedroom door and carefully placed the matching shoes and handbag on the floor where the gown was hanging.

Aunt Pearl had a tiny size foot, size 5, and a huge appetite for shoes… she had quite a collection. I don’t think she ever threw out a pair!

When our cousin Sara, who also wears a size 5, came for a visit, Aunt Pearl immediately gave Sara the keys to her condo telling her that all of her shoes were now her inheritance.

One Sunday afternoon I was sitting next to her hospital bed and she decided it was time to let her friends know that the end was near. She took out her little black address book and for the next few hours I listened as she called her friends, one by one.

With each friend she shared with them what she loved best about them and her fondest memories of their time together. She encouraged them not to be sad and told them that they would be together again some day on the other side. I never heard any sadness, or self-pity, just pure classic upbeat, optimistic, look-for-the-good-in-everything Aunt Pearl.

The next week she moved into hospice. The one thing she wanted to do every day was to watch her favorite film, Moonstruck starring Cher and Nicholas Cage.

The film is about a beautiful, young widow (played by Cher) who has a passion for opera and finds true love again. Aunt Pearl saw herself as Cher and never tired of the story.

During this entire process I never once heard her complain. She was gracious, and thankful for the caring nurses and content to be surrounded by family and friends. On the last morning of her life she asked me to get her an Advil. She said she was in a bit of pain.

I went to find the hospice nurse who informed my that for the past two weeks Aunt Pearl had been on high dose morphine patches and that an Advil was not going to help her, but they would give her more morphine to ease her pain.

Aunt Pearl passed away peacefully later that day. My brother went to her condo to pick up the gold evening gown and other things needed for her burial.

He called to tell me the shoes were missing.

He had looked everywhere but couldn’t find a single pair of shoes, especially the matching gold ones. That’s when we remembered that cousin Sara had taken all of them.

Fortunately we were able to have the shoes Fed Ex’ed to us and Aunt Pearl was buried exactly as she had planned. Dressed as the culture Queen she was and surrounded by the ones who loved her most.

Today is the 10th anniversary of her passing and I am pretty sure she has big plans to attend a gala event somewhere on the other side.

You Are Invited to My First Ever Virtual Book Tour!

March 4th, 2012 by Arielle

I am excited to announce my first ever Virtual Book Tour Event for my new book Wabi Sabi Love.

The virtual meeting room is really cool and you’ll be one of the first to use it! It’s a large-scale video chat where I will appear live in real time with a room full of people. It’s totally unlike anything you have ever seen before.

I will be talking about Wabi Sabi Love and hosting an interactive Q&A. You can either write in a question or raise your hand to be called on plus video chat with anyone at the event. Cool, huh?

The Wabi Sabi Love Virtual Tour Event will be held next Wednesday, March 7 at 5 pm pst/7 pm cst/8 pm est so mark your calendar.

Here are the details:

1, In order to have the easiest possible experience, you will want to download Google Chrome. It is really easy (trust me, if I can do it, you can do it!) Here is the link:

Get Google Chrome

2. Mark your calendar:

Wednesday, March 7:   5 pm pst/7 pm cst/8 pm est

3. Click this link: http://www.shindig.com/demos/wabi-sabi-love-virtual-book-tour/

That’s it! I look forward to seeing you there!

PS This event is produced on a new platform called Shindig and we are most curious about your experience…your feedback is invaluable to us!

PPSS Feel free to share this event with your Facebook, Twitter and Google+ fans. Thanks!


Kute Blackson Video Interview

February 22nd, 2012 by Arielle

Ask Arielle: Junk Food King vs Health Nut Queen

February 20th, 2012 by Arielle

Dear Arielle,

Wabi Sabi Eating Habits? Why Not?

Last year I manifested my soulmate at age 59!  He’s a terrific guy and I’m crazy about him except for one big issue that I just can’t seem to figure out the Wabi Sabi Solution too.

His health and his eating. He has diabetes and high blood pressure, which he takes meds for, but he eats as if he doesn’t have a weight issue or these life threatening diseases.

I work to overlook his bad eating (french fries, pizza, over eating) but this is so difficult for me. I am very, very healthy (which he loves and I am in great shape).

He tells me that I am helping him to be more conscious and he is making tiny baby steps (he has given up sodas and is eating less bread) but I don’t want him to stroke out or loose eyesight or a limb.

We read Wabi Sabi Love together and we discussed this but I am finding this issue really difficult to overcome.

Cheryl Ann

Dear Cheryl Ann,

As his best friend, lover, partner for life, it’s clear why you would be so concerned about his health. And, you can’t be his mother or a nag him non-stop because, as you know, that won’t work. Also, don’t forget, that by stressing out about his bad habits, you are suppressing your own immune system, which isn’t good for your health.

I think it’s great that he is taking tiny baby steps….that is so encouraging! And, even if he were a total health-nut, there’s no promise that some random illness would befall him (or any of us).

Why don’t you ask him if he is willing to make one small change each week and also get his OWN life coach to work one-on-one with him.

The best role for you is to praise him (wildly) for all the little steps he is taking. And, at the right time its ok to share with him the truth about how you feel, including the fear of him becoming an invalid, but do it with some humor: tell him you are sure you will end up as Nurse Ratchet from One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest!

You might also want to suggest that he buy long-term health care insurance so if he does fall ill he doesn’t end up in a nursing home but can have in-home care-givers.

One last thought. Last week I went to a funeral of a dear friend who died of cancer…despite a lifetime of meditating twice a day, eating a vegetarian diet, exercising and doing everything “right.” He was only 61.

Life is short…grab the good stuff where and whenever you can.

Wishing you a lifetime of Wabi Sabi Love,


PS Do you have a Wabi Sabi Love question?  Click here, I would love to hear from you!

Keep That Valentine’s Feeling Going

February 15th, 2012 by Arielle

Now that Valentine’s Day has come and gone, conscious romance does not have end. On the contrary….keep the romance going. Here is one of my fave songs, hope you enjoy it too!

Give Your Mate The Gift of Amnesty For That Annoying Habit

February 7th, 2012 by Arielle

Long stem roses, a box of chocolates, sexy lingerie, promises of hot monkey love, romantic dinners and champagne…these are the stereotypical gifts for your loved one.

As lovely and appreciated as these gifts can be, what if if you gave your beloved something that they never expected, something that will make both of you happy and is totally free?

Here’s what I’m suggesting:

Decide right now to figure out how to create a new story for yourself about that thing your mate does that drives you crazy….find the beauty and perfection in it, and then GIFT them with your vow to finally let it go.

Give your beloved amnesty for the one thing you most complain, argue, or harass them about. Wabi Sabi Amnesty Vow

Whether it’s the wet towels on the floor, the toilet seat left up, the dirty dishes in the sink, the constant texting at the dinner table, squeezing the toothpaste from the middle of the tube, forgetting to take out the trash, interrupting you when you are on the phone, or whatever transgression you have deemed unbearable.

Want to deepen your experience?  Your partner will benefit more than you can possibly understand if you take the time to ask yourself these questions:

How many more times am I willing to allow this situation to annoy me?

What payoff do I get by finding fault in my partner?

What does being “annoyed” keep me from having?

Where did I learn to be annoyed by other people’s behavior?


Imagine that your mate’s annoying behavior exists solely to teach you how to become a more loving and compassionate person. And then, upon reflection, please write down three (or more) gifts of the offending behavior.

Give Your Beloved a Wabi Sabi Amnesty Vow

Looking for the gifts is an invaluable skill in a world in which we can’t control others behavior. While our partners may never change the quirks and idiosyncrasies that we find maddening, we can change our perceptions of them.

This Valentines Day make a shift from “annoyed to enjoyed” and let your beloved know by sharing this free, very special Wabi Sabi Amnesty Vow with them.

Wabi Sabi Listening

February 3rd, 2012 by Arielle

Listening is more than getting ready to squawk your opinion.

I am not always the world’s greatest listener.

I often drift. It’s not intentional. It’s just that there are so many thoughts and ideas in my head, my attention gets diverted.

And, I have a bad habit of multi-tasking.

This doesn’t go unnoticed.

Early on in my marriage to Brian, he would often say to me “you’re not listening.” I would get defensive, disagree and most of the time would be able to repeat back to him his last sentence….but he was right.

I may have heard him but my attention was divided between whatever he was saying and the words in my head. Brian is about as easy going as a human being can be, but my “not listening” was a real challenge for both of us.

One day, as I caught a look of disappointment on his face when he caught me (again) drifting, I suddenly realized, “if I don’t learn to really listen to him, he will find someone who will.”

I began to really look at my issue and realized my drifting was not only a bad habit that needed to be corrected, but that active listening is an act of love, something I wasn’t giving.

I wish I could tell you that I am now the world’s greatest listener.  I’ve gotten much better and even though there is always room for improvement I can tell by Brian’s demeanor that he feels heard and loved.

Recently, my friend Dave Ellis gave a talk to a bunch of us attending the Transformational Leadership Council meeting in Hawaii on “Listening for Brilliance.”  He challenged us to first write down our own ideas of what “listening for brilliance” could possibly be. Here’s what I (and others) came up with:

Listen like they are the most important person in the world to you.

The gift of Soulful Listening brings abundant reward. Who can you listen to today?

Listen so they feel totally seen and heard.

Listen for and from love.

Listen for a message from God.

Listen like it matters.

Listen like it will save my life.

Listen like a lover on a first date.

Listen without an agenda.

I began to imagine how I would feel if every time I spoke, my words were received like this! This conversation about listening really opened my heart and my ears to greater possibilities to become a better listener in all of my relationships.

How will being a better listener transform your relationships?

Here’s an inspiring video from Dave on Soulful Listening



A Wabi Sabi Chuckle: How To Pick The Perfect Wine

January 20th, 2012 by Arielle


Everyone Carries Something Into A Relationship – Be Gentle

January 15th, 2012 by Arielle

A Confession and a Secret Revealed…..

January 5th, 2012 by Arielle



After Brian and I got married I discovered that “manifesting a soulmate” was the easy part.

The hard part was just beginning.

I was totally clueless about creating a great relationship. After 44 years of being single, I was used to having my own way (all of the time) and since I managed skip over having a “starter marriage” I had zero experience in “partnership.”

One day I found myself being particularly pushy.  I witnessed myself pointing my right index finger in Brian’s face (left hand on left hip) ragging him out about something…..and I was shocked!  OMG….what was I doing?

I quickly apologized and then in a flash of insight said to him, “the next time I get like this, and unfortunately there will be a next time, you have my permission to ask me “when did Sheila enter the room?” (Sheila is my brilliant, amazing, and some times overbearing Mom)

Brian instantly got it and said to me, “And the next time I am getting too patronizing, you can call me Wayne.” (his much beloved Dad.) This was the amazing beginning of our dedication to practicing Wabi Sabi Love in our relationship…a way to offset problems and allow in more love.

Now you may be thinking….what the heck is Wabi Sabi?

Wabi Sabi is an ancient Japanese art form that honors all things old, worn, weathered, imperfect, and impermanent.  In fact, it seeks to find “beauty and perfection in the imperfections.”  For instance, if you had a large vase with a big crack down the middle of it, a Japanese art museum would put the vase on a pedestal and shine a spotlight on the crack!

My new book, Wabi Sabi Love shows you exactly how to see your partner in a whole new light, so you begin to appreciate, even celebrate  your partner’s imperfections. It transforms “tired” relationships so they feel new, fresh, and exciting-like you’re on your honeymoon again! AND….even if you are not yet with your soulmate, this is a skill worth learning now.

The best way to discover Wabi Sabi Love is through stories and fun, simple exercises, and that’s exactly what you’ll find in the book. Wabi SabiLove reveals secrets that create a passionate, joyful, and loving relationship.

If you are ready for more love, fun, harmony, and passion in your relationship, I encourage you to order my book today. It comes with several terrific free bonuses including audio workshops from John Gray, Harville Hendrix, Alison Armstrong, guided practices, a higher love visioning video and more!

To More Love and Light in Your Relationship,


P.S: You’ll be particularly inspired by the story on page 211, which shows how Michelle Obama accomplished a Wabi Sabi Love transformation faster than she ever thought possible. You can do it too, but you have to buy the book to get this kind of transformation in your relationship, so hurry before the first printing sells out.

Get your copy of Wabi Sabi Love now!