Ask Arielle: Junk Food King vs Health Nut Queen

Dear Arielle,

Wabi Sabi Eating Habits? Why Not?

Last year I manifested my soulmate at age 59!  He’s a terrific guy and I’m crazy about him except for one big issue that I just can’t seem to figure out the Wabi Sabi Solution too.

His health and his eating. He has diabetes and high blood pressure, which he takes meds for, but he eats as if he doesn’t have a weight issue or these life threatening diseases.

I work to overlook his bad eating (french fries, pizza, over eating) but this is so difficult for me. I am very, very healthy (which he loves and I am in great shape).

He tells me that I am helping him to be more conscious and he is making tiny baby steps (he has given up sodas and is eating less bread) but I don’t want him to stroke out or loose eyesight or a limb.

We read Wabi Sabi Love together and we discussed this but I am finding this issue really difficult to overcome.

Cheryl Ann

Dear Cheryl Ann,

As his best friend, lover, partner for life, it’s clear why you would be so concerned about his health. And, you can’t be his mother or a nag him non-stop because, as you know, that won’t work. Also, don’t forget, that by stressing out about his bad habits, you are suppressing your own immune system, which isn’t good for your health.

I think it’s great that he is taking tiny baby steps….that is so encouraging! And, even if he were a total health-nut, there’s no promise that some random illness would befall him (or any of us).

Why don’t you ask him if he is willing to make one small change each week and also get his OWN life coach to work one-on-one with him.

The best role for you is to praise him (wildly) for all the little steps he is taking. And, at the right time its ok to share with him the truth about how you feel, including the fear of him becoming an invalid, but do it with some humor: tell him you are sure you will end up as Nurse Ratchet from One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest!

You might also want to suggest that he buy long-term health care insurance so if he does fall ill he doesn’t end up in a nursing home but can have in-home care-givers.

One last thought. Last week I went to a funeral of a dear friend who died of cancer…despite a lifetime of meditating twice a day, eating a vegetarian diet, exercising and doing everything “right.” He was only 61.

Life is short…grab the good stuff where and whenever you can.

Wishing you a lifetime of Wabi Sabi Love,


PS Do you have a Wabi Sabi Love question?  Click here, I would love to hear from you!

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4 Responses to Ask Arielle: Junk Food King vs Health Nut Queen

  1. Sam says:

    I would also figure out, with him, if he is an abstainer or one a moderater. Some people can do find with their diet if they are permitted to moderate their intake, in that they still have a cookie a day but can stop at one cookie (that’s me). Other people faced with a bag of cookies will eat the whole bag (that is my husband) so he prefers to abstain.

    So how do a moderater and an abstainer get along. I’ll buy snack size cookies packages or single serve ice cream scoop container or I leave my bag of cookies at work and I have my cookies at work. Snack size products are obviously more expensive and while I would prefer to leave a bag of cookies in my home I’d rather have a happy and trim husband and he’s not happy when he’s eaten a bag of cookies.

    If he prefers to moderate than trying to get him to go cold turkey won’t work. But if he is an abstainer than having cookies and soda around the house might do him in.

  2. Ruth says:

    You might also figure out what is it he loves about those foods, and start, gradually, making him healthier versions (even restaurants and stores have better versions of the worst food). Sometimes salty-spicy-buttery lean meats and veggies (baked and broiled rather than fried) can be made as mouth-wateringly as the other stuff (like sweet potato fries with cayenne) Use garlic and onions, and other spices, if he likes them. Get an array of hot sauces, if he likes them — then he really won’t be able to tell the difference in what’s underneath! Homemade pizza loaded with lean beef, sneak in soy pepperoni, mix soy cheese with the regular stuff*, skim mozzerella, etc. Make it as flavorful and “loaded” a treat as possible so he doesn’t feel deprived. No reason healthier foods have to be as bland as they often are.

    *If you cook, you can use 1/2 the low-fat alternative and 1/2 the regular foods, and he may not know the difference.

    • Ruth says:

      Oh…and also find ways to fill out the meal so he feels like he’s getting as big a portion as always (see the book Volumetrics).

    • Arielle says:

      Thanks for your ideas. I appreciate you stopping by!