Balm For A Grieving Soul

It’s now been nearly four months since my sister Debbie made her transition….and the reality that she isn’t “here” is beginning to sink in.  Although my intellect understands that she is still here in spirit and that we never really die, it doesn’t make a difference to the fact that I miss her like crazy.

I have been doing everything I can think of to heal my body, mind, soul and heart….and in that process I haven’t had any energy or bandwidth to support anyone else.

Between my insanely busy work schedule, coupled with limited energy, I find myself powering through my days and heading for the couch at 6pm where I stay for the rest of the night.

But, the other day I started thinking about Debbie’s friends…she had a lot of very close friends. A ton.

And most of them don’t really know each other.

I realized that they are all going through their own grieving process and may not have anyone to share it with.

With that in mind, I had this idea……why not create a gathering (via the web) as a way to share the process and the healing?

I asked my friend and world-renowned grief expert (and therapist), Dr. Ken Druck, if he would participate and he was a big YES!

So, last week I hosted “Missing Debbie: A Healing Call.”  Ken shared his years of experience and amazing wisdom with us on the grieving process.  This call was so deeply healing that I couldn’t resist sharing it with all of you.

You can listen to the call here:



Also, Ken led us through some group work that was not recorded. If you want to do what we did on the call, here are the questions to ask yourself:

  1. Reflect on how you knew the person you are grieving, the impact they had on your life, and what you miss most about them.
  2. Let yourself see one thing that you could do that in some way that might lighten your heart. What is a way you support yourself? What kindness could you show yourself? What could you say no to or yes to? It could be anything. What do you believe would help you on your grief journey?
  3. From what you came up with, identify the action step you’re willing to take in the spirit of taking better care of yourself. What concrete action are willing to take to affirm your commitment to your own sense of well-being?

If you are touched by Ken’s wisdom and his contribution to your grief journey, if you feel so moved, we encourage you to make a donation to his non-profit which is currently raising funds to support grieving families. To support this important work, visit

You can leave a comment by clicking here.

6 Responses to Balm For A Grieving Soul

  1. Lost my everything Feb. 2, my companion Gary died of a massive stroke at the age of 59.
    I totally relate to it just starting to really sink in. The shock part is over. He is truly gone.
    I have been reading all the books, searching/googling after life info. but the fact remains that he is not going to walk in that door, not call me on my cell. I finally let his cell go as i was listening to his voice on it. I had to let that go.
    his unconditional love has forever graced me. I am so sorry about your sister…I have no family support and went through this virtually alone with strangers. it has been one of the greatest lessons of my life. thank you for affirming that my lack of energy even in launching my modest patient advocacy group in boston is normal. I hope that what i learned at his side in hospitals will help another family in this way. much gratitude for your sharing all thisl.

  2. Helena Cogan says:

    Arielle & Ken,
    Thank you both for your kindness and generosity in sharing this call!! Debbie would be so proud of you!!!!!!!!
    Blessings always!

  3. Shiana Seitz says:

    Thank you so much Arielle. What you shared is powerful, indeed, and so real. It thoroughly demonstrates your authenticity, your genuine humanness! Authors, speakers, and facilitators are people too. They suffer with the challenges of life just like the rest of us. However some tend to allow their prestige, and ego, to dictate how they should be. They are distracted with the concept that their shared experiences, feelings, and guidance must remain a means of making an income, that somehow they would lose credibility and/or future income if they offered their insights for free.
    With this email you shared, I so easily see that you are honoring what pulled you into the public eye in the beginning – when you learned you had a way that actually helped. You have been following your desire, and your intuitive guide, to help as many as you can in whatever way possible.
    With this email, you went beyond that, and provided this information without any charge or link to some specific event that costs money, from which you would benefit. Thank you, thank you! There are so many of us who are consciously involved with personal growth, who are consciously thinking, speaking, and doing what is optimum for our well being…who just do not have the funds for one more workshop, one more teleclass, one more mp3 download. Thank you for staying true and authentic to your Self! May your journey with and through grief guide you into the place of greater peace.

    With love and appreciation of who you are,
    Shiana Seitz
    (She who has words and experiences to share, but who hasn’t yet found the way…)

  4. gina dantorio says:

    Hi Arielle!

    I have soo much respect for you and your sister. I was deeply saddened when I learned of Debbie’s death. In April 22, I lost my former husband to pancreatic cancer . We were married for 10 years. I took care of him for 3 years. WOW!!!! There are no words to express of my sadness. I MISS HIM TREMENDOUSLY. I do pray each day and read the bible WHICH HAS HELPED ME VERY MUCH!!!

  5. Rita Massey says:

    Dear Arielle,
    My condolences to you. I too have had a lot of loss in the last few years so I understand completely! Yes, we may know intellectually and spiritually that they are near but it doesn’t keep us from missing them in the physical realm. Thank you from sharing from your heart and the gift of bringing people together to heal.

  6. Claudia says:

    It was only on Monday of ths week (July 29) that I discovered that Debbie had made her transition. I was so shocked and deeply saddened for I loved her work so as a light chaser myself. Feeling that I somehow had to find her her, or keep her perhaps I spent the entire afternoon online listening and reading. I even posted how i was feeling on Facebook. My continuing hunger, grief guess is what led me to your website today. God bless all of you. Know that in due season, you will adjust to the absence of her body. Thank you for sharing.