{"id":249,"date":"2011-10-26T17:50:01","date_gmt":"2011-10-26T17:50:01","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/www.soulmatesecret.com\/wabisabilove\/?p=249"},"modified":"2014-06-22T19:18:30","modified_gmt":"2014-06-22T19:18:30","slug":"the-wabi-sabi-of-conflict","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.arielleford.com\/wabisabilove\/2011\/10\/26\/the-wabi-sabi-of-conflict\/","title":{"rendered":"The Wabi Sabi of Conflict"},"content":{"rendered":"

Did you know that a certain amount of conflict and tension is actually NORMAL and good \"\"<\/a>for your relationship?<\/strong> \u00a0Many of us grew up thinking \u201chappily ever after\u201d meant no conflict. \u00a0Guess what?<\/p>\n

New research released by the University of Minnesota shows it\u2019s not conflict that\u2019s the problem, it\u2019s how we resolve the issues and how quickly we recoup after a spat.<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n

According to lead researcher Jessica Salvatore of the university\u2019s College of Education and Human Development’s Institute of Child Development, \u00a0\u201crecovering from conflict well predicts higher satisfaction and you perceive the relationship more positively.”<\/p>\n

What\u2019s really interesting is, you don’t have to be the one who recovers well from conflict for your relationship to benefit.<\/strong> A partner who recovers well doesn’t let remnants of the conflict spill over into other parts of the relationship, Salvatore said. He or she is able to separate conflict from other types of interactions, such as deciding how to parent or support one another.<\/p>\n

<Note: At this point, I\u2019m waiting to hear more about how I don\u2019t have to be the one to recover well\u2014maybe something from the study about how my partner can recover better than I and our relationship still benefits?><\/p>\n

I was so intrigued by these study findings that I decided to spend a few weeks interviewing some of the world\u2019s top relationship experts, including Harvelle Hendrix and Helen LaKelly Hunt, Gay & Kathlyn Hendricks, John Gray, Deepak Chopra, Alison Armstrong and many others for a f.r.e.e online event I\u2019m hosting. It\u2019s called The Art of Love Series<\/a>, and it begins on November 1st http:\/\/lovesummit.com<\/a><\/p>\n

After doing these interviews, I\u2019ve discovered that conflict and creative tension is not only good for your relationship, it\u2019s normal, necessary and even creates excitement. Imagine that.<\/strong><\/p>\n

Conflict allows you to improve your relationship<\/a> by sharpening your listening and communication skills. \u00a0Experts say that conflict not only strengthens bonds, it allows you to show how much you care for each other.<\/p>\n

Many of the experts in The Art of Love series will be sharing their best tips and solutions for consciously resolving conflicts. \u00a0When you listen in you will discover:<\/p>\n

Are you a turtle or a hailstorm?<\/strong><\/p>\n

Are you prone to \u201cwargasms?\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n

Why it\u2019s \u201cok\u201d to have irreconcilable differences.<\/strong><\/p>\n

How a bowl full of beads will insure an abundant sex life.<\/strong><\/p>\n

The steps to regaining love and trust after betrayal.<\/strong><\/p>\n

How to ask for what you truly want and need from your partner.<\/strong>
\n(and so much more)<\/strong><\/p>\n

Until The Art of Love series begins on November 1st here are some of my favorite solutions for resolving arguments:<\/p>\n

1.\u00a0 Genuinely consider the other person\u2019s point of view.<\/strong> First,\"\"<\/a> never say \u201cyou\u2019re wrong\u201d to your partner. Try hard to find areas of agreement and build on them.<\/p>\n

2.\u00a0 Do say to them, \u201cYes, yes, I see exactly what you\u2019re saying. You mean\u2026\u2026.\u201d<\/strong> This way they know that you heard them and they are validated.<\/p>\n

3.\u00a0 If you are wrong, quickly admit it and take responsibility.<\/strong> \u201cYou\u2019re absolutely right, it is my fault and here is what I\u2019ll do to fix it.\u201d Even if you\u2019re NOT wrong, at least give them the benefit of the doubt, \u201cI may be wrong, let\u2019s look at the facts together.\u201d It\u2019s hard to argue with that!<\/p>\n

Wabi Sabi Principle to live by: Forgiveness and sincere apologies for wrong-doing are the foundation of a healthy and lasting relationship.<\/a><\/strong>
\n
\nReserve Your Spot for the Art of LOVE Series!<\/a><\/p>","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Did you know that a certain amount of conflict and tension is actually NORMAL and good for your relationship? \u00a0Many of us grew up thinking \u201chappily ever after\u201d meant no conflict. \u00a0Guess what? New research released by the University of Minnesota shows it\u2019s not conflict that\u2019s the problem, it\u2019s how we resolve the issues and […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":"","_links_to":"","_links_to_target":""},"categories":[25,4],"tags":[30,26,29,31,27,28],"class_list":["post-249","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-conflict","category-happiness","tag-alison-armstrong","tag-art-of-love","tag-deepak-chopra","tag-gay-and-kathlyn-hendricks","tag-harville-hendrix","tag-john-gray"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.arielleford.com\/wabisabilove\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/249","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.arielleford.com\/wabisabilove\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.arielleford.com\/wabisabilove\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.arielleford.com\/wabisabilove\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.arielleford.com\/wabisabilove\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=249"}],"version-history":[{"count":10,"href":"https:\/\/www.arielleford.com\/wabisabilove\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/249\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":262,"href":"https:\/\/www.arielleford.com\/wabisabilove\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/249\/revisions\/262"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.arielleford.com\/wabisabilove\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=249"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.arielleford.com\/wabisabilove\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=249"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.arielleford.com\/wabisabilove\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=249"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}