Dear Arielle & Brian,

I totally resonated with The Soulmate Secret and did 100%, of all the processes, working authentically on loving myself in a way I had never done before. I was happily savoring my time while waiting for my true love to walk into my life until I irrationally and aggressively and in an angry way contacted an ex-love interest. I now feel like I sabotaged everything I was trying to create and I am now having a really hard time forgiving myself. What I did was very ineffective and just made me feel like a fool. What kind of healing or books would you suggest for me? Thank you so much for any words of advice.
Lots of Love & Appreciation,
Leslie

Hi Leslie:

Before we get started please know we have lots of “love and appreciation” for YOU! Your honesty, courage and vulnerability needs to be acknowledged and if we were with you right now we’d shower you with infinite amounts of comfort hugs and hopefully provide you a “soft place” to land. So please reach out to your friends and family for that infusion of love and support—we all deserve that Leslie!! And then begin to REMEMBER that YOU will get through this but you will want to invest all the time you need to nurture yourself and really “feel” the full range of your feelings you’re experiencing which might be; fear, guilt, anger, sadness, anxiety, whatever might show up but please be patient with that process.

When your love and light begins to dissolve some of those darker moments and you’re beginning to feel a sense of joy and gratitude again please go back to your processes of building on that unconditional love for yourself. Then once again you will start to celebrate your life and your opportunities for a loving relationship—you will be “in the flow.” Leslie, YOU WILL get to that beautiful place you mentioned where you were “happily savoring” your own authenticity and knowing that a man would be very fortunate if he were to meet you at this time and place in your life. What a delicious and deserving intention and one we know you will manifest!!

Leslie, our response to your questions are just a reminder of how beautiful you are and that you were so successful with your earlier work and preparation you did to prepare for your soulmate. That time spent was not lost and in fact it serves as a wonderful foundation to build on and your spirit is even stronger for what you just went through. So with continued heart intention, a daily celebration of how beautiful you are (inside and out) and a open heart and mind to your infinite possibilities you will manifest the love you desire and absolutely deserve!!

Wishing you love, laughter and magical kisses,

Arielle & Brian
P.S. We would recommend you consider reading The Conscious Heart by Gay and Kathlyn Hendricks. They are the Masters of creating conscious loving relationships. We’d also suggest The Dark Side of the Light Chasers by Debbie Ford and any books from the Institute of HeartMath.

Arielle Ford has spent the past 25 years living and promoting consciousness through all forms of media. She is one of the founding partners of the Spiritual Cinema Circle, a DVD club dedicated to providing movies about love and compassion. She is the author of seven books including the HOT CHOCOLATE FOR THE MYSTICAL SOUL series and her newest book THE SOULMATE SECRET: Manifest The Love of Your Life With The Law of Attraction. Her husband and soulmate Brian Hilliard is a business consultant with a life-long interest in spirituality and the practice of compassion. They live in La Jolla, CA www.soulmatesecret.com

Disclaimer: Arielle Ford, Brian Hilliard, the Big Love column and its publishers assume no responsibility for any consequence relating directly or indirectly to any action or inaction you take based on the information, services or other material related to this column.

Dear Arielle and Brian,
I keep visualizing my soul mate and feel really open to him, and nothing is happening. What am I doing wrong?
Thanks for your help,
Isabel

Dear Isabel,
Why would you assume you are doing something wrong? Opening your heart and life to manifesting a soulmate requires patience because when your will and God’s will align that is what we call Divine Timing. In preparing to manifest your soulmate, an element of willful effort as well as big elements of faith and destiny is involved. It’s that powerfully synergistic combination of the three that will get you where you want to go. As your heart opens and you begin to feel totally ready for your beloved, your soulmate might be in the process of coming to you but still has to work through some details or issues. When you eventually do get together you will discover that you really did meet at the exact divine or magical time for both of you. Until then, we suggest that you ask yourself these questions:
*Do I believe that I am deserving of a soulmate and do I believe he is also looking for me?
*Am I clear about the nature of the persona and relationship that I now wish to manifest?
*Have I healed the baggage (issues or wounds) of my past relationships?
*Do I love myself and sincerely enjoy the pleasure of my own company?
*Do I have the true dedication, time, energy and resources to nurture another?
*Am I living as if my soulmate were already with me while I savor the waiting of his arrival?
You may see areas in which to invest some of your time, energy, attention and intention or you may be 100% ready and just need to savor the waiting.
Either way you choose Isabel, please know we support you 1000% and we’re sending you tons and tons of love, care and prayers for the outcome your heart and soul desires.
Love,
Arielle and Brian

Arielle Ford has spent the past 25 years living and promoting consciousness through all forms of media. She is one of the founding partners of the Spiritual Cinema Circle, a DVD club dedicated to providing movies about love and compassion. She is the author of seven books including the HOT CHOCOLATE FOR THE MYSTICAL SOUL series and her newest book THE SOULMATE SECRET: Manifest The Love of Your Life With The Law of Attraction. Her husband and soulmate Brian Hilliard is a business consultant with a life-long interest in spirituality and the practice of compassion. They live in La Jolla, CA www.soulmatesecret.com

Dear Arielle & Brian,

I am reading The Soulmate Secret and doing the exercises you suggest. Now I am wondering, how many soulmates can we have in this life because I am feeling connection and seeing more than one person as a potential soulmate? The bottom line here is: how am I going to know who is the one? Any advice is greatly appreciated!!

Thanks,
Maria

Dear Maria,
You are right, we do have the possibility of many soulmates in a lifetime. How much fun is that?? There is no set number just a nourished soul—YOU! If you have made your soulmate wish list that will help you in determining who the right person might be for you. They should definitely match the most important elements on your list and there should be powerful chemistry and mutual, shared visions for a healthy and loving life together. Once you align your list with someone and actually meet them—you probably will get severe “goose bumps” and from the deepest depths of your heart and soul there will be a loud and courageous “YES” that this is the one, this is how it happens!! “YES” I’m going to TRUST this voice and acknowledgement from source and “YES” I’m going to discern from my heart and soul as I move forward that this inner voice will assist me in determining if this brand new relationship blossoms and flourishes or maybe just settles into a wonderful friendship. Maria, It doesn’t get any better than that does it???
Best wishes and please know we’re sending you lots of love and support in your amazing quest for Big Love.
Love,
Arielle & Brian

Arielle Ford, author of The Soulmate Secret: Manifest The Love of Your Life With The Law of Attraction and her husband Brian Hilliard, a business consultant, answer your questions about life, love and relationships. They believe that whether you are eighteen or eighty years old finding Big Love is always possible. Email your questions to: soulmatesecret@nullyahoo.com

I was interviewed recently on The MatchMatrix show by my friend Larry Michel and his partner Frank Seifert. Off the air Larry shared with me a remarkable love story about he and his romantic partner Cindy. I asked if he would write about it for us.

When I met my love Cindy she was dating another man. We had a very powerful and instant connection that was almost frightening. Most women and men I talk to can relate. Can you remember when you were so captivated and taken by a person that you felt instantly in love? Do you also remember totally doubting the intensity or depth of your feelings?

That was Cindy. Our hearts opened to each other instantly. It was much more than just good conversation and a physical appeal. There was a vibration that told me someone very special had come into my life. She loved it and doubted it at the same time.

I knew with certainty that this was a woman I wanted to spend time with. I was ready to expose my life and my heart and I started to do so.

There was one small challenge. Cindy was dating another man when we met. He was very interested in her. She was also very attracted to him. That attraction was so strong she decided to get serious and date only the “other guy”. We remained friends, but did not date.

This is where our story gets interesting. By running a MatchMatrix Relationship Report Cindy and I found out she has False Attractions. That means whenever she feels strong chemistry to a person and decides to follow that attraction she ends up in a relationship that doesn’t work.

We also found out she and I were perfectly energetically matched. When a couple is aligned like we are magic happens and soulmates are discovered!

I have been involved with MatchMatrix for years and know how powerful and misleading False Attractions are. Cindy needed to find out for herself.

A few months later that’s exactly what happened. She realized the relationship with the “other guy” was not going to work and we started to date again. We have been together ever since. She moved into my home and I adore her, as do my children.

Cindy will tell you that if she did not know about MatchMatrix she never would have come back. She would have followed her old patterns of meeting a guy and when it didn’t work, move on.

She realized two things she never knew before. She must not ever follow her False Attractions, and the amazing connection she experienced with me from the day we met was very real. Our hearts have been open and joyfully blossoming together ever since.

I feel blessed. Through MatchMatrix I have been able to guide thousands of men and women to loving and fulfilling relationships. And I get to crawl into bed every night with a woman I love and connect with in more ways than I have with anyone before.

Larry’s story illustrates the power of finding tools that can make a difference in love. Match Matrix can assist you in knowing if a relationship has true potential. www.matchmatrix.com

Wishing you love, laughter, and magical kisses,

Arielle

When my nephew Beau was a little boy (he’s about to turn 15!) he would often announce to those around him that he was “busy playing with his imagination.” This was his way of telling us not to disturb him. We can all learn something from Beau: playing with your imagination is a powerful way to activate the Law of Attraction. Here’s a fun way to bring some new juice to your soulmate manifestation process:

Take 15 minutes and find a place where you can be completely undisturbed. Find a comfortable place to sit and close your eyes.

Breathe deeply and slowly for a minute or two. Let your shoulders drop, let the tension in your body drift away and then thank yourself for taking this time to have a little fun.I want you to use your imagination to go into the future.

First pick a year and a season…for instance you could use Fall 2011 (two years from now or go further out in the future).Now imagine that it is a Saturday morning. You are asleep but you can observe yourself. What do the sheets look like? What are you wearing? What time of morning is it? You are about to wake up (Don’t open your eyes yet) but you know that your soulmate is sleeping next to you with his or her back toward you.
Allow yourself to simply feel the presence of another in the bed with you. What are you feeling? Where in your body are you feeling it? Savor these feelings as you continue to breathe slowly.

Your soulmate is sound asleep, but you are beginning to wake up.Now, with your imagination, begin to remember the plans the two of you have for the weekend. You can’t see the face of your beloved, simply use your imagination to remember one of the events for the weekend that you are looking forward to. As you see this event, give it details. What will you be wearing? Where will you two be going? What is the weather like? What will be the most memorable part of the event? This can be any part of the weekend – from breakfast in bed, to lunch on the patio, to a walk on the beach, a hike in the woods, a bike ride, grocery shopping, painting the spare room….whatever event your imagination serves up to you is just perfect.

As you are observing you & your beloved (you can either see the back of their head or feel them behind you but no need to try and see their face) in this event, pick out three details to remember: maybe a color of something around you, a scent in the air, and most importantly an enjoyable feeling. Now notice where in your body that feeling is located and take a moment to spread that feeling throughout your body. Continue to breathe deeply and slowly and see yourself in this event closing your eyes.It’s now time to come back to the present moment. Feel your body sitting in the chair, feel your feet on the ground. Notice the temperature of the room. And when you are ready, open your eyes.

You have played with your imagination to reach into your future. The important thing to take away from this exercise is the feelings you experienced. You can tap into them at any time as a reminder that your soulmate exists.

Wishing you love, laughter and magical kisses!

Arielle

Carol Allen and I were chatting about the nature of divine timing recently and I asked her to guest blog this week. Here’s what she has to share with you on the topic of Divine Timing & Love:

I spoke with a client yesterday with an amazing story…

When she was in college, she fell in love with a guy her age. They were together for a couple of years and everything was great. There was just one little problem…

He was a guy in college. And after they graduated, he was a guy FRESH out of college. He didn’t have a career, didn’t own a home, and still liked to drink and hang out with his buddies. (I believe the scientific term for a man at this stage of life is DUDE.)

So my client (let’s call her Jennifer) thought, “He doesn’t feel like he’s ready to be a husband. I guess that means he’s not MY husband. I guess that means I should let him go and find someone who’s ready…”

So Jennifer broke up with him. Soon she met an older man who had all the things her boyfriend did not. So even though she didn’t love him as much, she went off with this MAN to “have a good life.”

(Cue the scratching needle on the record player about now…)

You can probably guess what happened.

The DUDE grew up. He went to graduate school, became a lawyer and made a name for himself.

And Jennifer?

She was in a loveless, “stable” marriage for fifteen years, dreaming of her ex.

Yikes…

Now, here’s the amazing part. Jennifer was lucky that her ex. had stayed single. They picked up right where they left off and are now married with two children, blissfully happy…

Have you ever been like Jennifer – in a relationship that was good but the timing wasn’t right? You cared about each other but some problem got in the way, making it impossible to be together… so you went your separate ways? Maybe it was the “right” guy at the “wrong” time…

The #1 reason women come to see me as an astrologer is to find out: WHEN will love come and last? Your chart really can show when your “prince” will come and when he WON’T no matter how hard you try.

I’ve created a personalized, thirty-year report to help you know when you’re in a painful “love-blocking” cycle and when you’re not. It’s called “Cycles Of Saturn – Charting The Ups And Downs Of Your Life And How To Make The Most Of Them.” (Jennifer was in a “love-blocking” time when she married the wrong man, and the report would have warned against it…)

Now you can know how to spend your energy. Is this the time to look for love, or not? Should you keep your guy or let him go? It’s such a relief to know when the right love can come – and when it CAN’T – and what to do in the meantime…

On the day that I met Brian I knew that he was the ONE. I knew because I heard a voice that keep telling he was the One. I knew because I had been given clues in a dream. It was completely clear to me that he was the One. Lately I have received many emails asking me “how do I know if he/she is the One?” I decided to ask several of my friends who are happily married to their soulmates “how they knew.”

Gay Hendricks shares: It felt very natural and organic that I found Katie, because it happened right after I’d had a powerful transformation experience where I found “the one” inside myself. I remember the writer Tom Robbins saying “We waste time looking for the perfect lover, instead of creating the perfect love.” That’s essentially the realization I had in December 1979, that I needed to love myself deeply, and attract a lover out of that unconditional love for me. Next month I met Katie!

www.hendricks.com

Kathlyn Hendricks said: When I first saw Gay in 1980 at a seminar and we locked eyes for a timeless moment, I had the experience of recognizing and being deeply recognized in layers upon layers of delicious expansion. That’s how I knew he was “the one.”

Shannon Peck (married to Scott Peck) said: I used to ask my mom this question when I was growing up at home. She and my dad had a truly soulmate relationship (they just celebrated their 69th wedding anniversary!). Mom said, “You’ll know because you’ll want to be with him all the time.” That was one of the “check in points” I referred to when I found myself growing very strong with love for Scott while we were dating.I also evaluated from other points too, such as: we were spiritually in sync, we had so much fun being together, even while doing nothing, we got along beautifully. I felt treated with great love, respect, and adoration, I felt I could trust Scott with fidelity because of how he lived with integrity and he would never hurt me, and I felt a deep, intimate, lasting, sense of “belonging” connection with him.

www.thelovecenter.com

Rev. Cynthia James (married to Carl Studna) said: “When a friend asked me, can I imagine my life without him? I said that I couldn’t.”

www.whatwillsetyoufree.com

Monte Farber reveals: I knew Amy Zerner was “The One” when I noticed that watching her live was my supreme enjoyment. I didn’t want her to be anything other than who she was and wanted to be and that is as true today, 35 years later, as it was when our romance first bloomed into love.

www.theenchantedworld.com

As you can see, it’s different from everyone. If you are currently with someone that you “think” might be your soulmate, enjoy the process of getting to know them in all types of situations. Meet their friends and family. Travel with them (one of the best ways I know to get to know someone on the deepest level). Don’t feel as if you have to “know” right now. At the right moment in time, you will become crystal clear.

Wishing you love, laughter, and magical kisses,

Arielle

I recently spoke at an event and met a man named Brandon who was very excited to share his “soulmate success story” with me. Please enjoy his personal account:

“Several years ago after my divorce, I wrote out the characteristics and traits my “soulmate” would have. After listening to the audio book, The Soulmate Secret: Manifest the Love of Your Life with the Law of Attraction , I decided to revisit that list, refine it, and release it to the Universe. As I re-read my list, I really got into the feeling of what each characteristic and trait meant and why it was important to me. I burned my list and watched the light breeze carry it into the ethers. I remember visualizing the Universe orchestrating every fiber of that list to bring her into my experience.

Shortly after that, I receive an invitation to a wedding for a friend of mine. Since I was now fully “living as if” I replied for “two” to the RSVP. My friend called, excited, and said, “You have a new girlfriend?” I laughed and said “No, but I will, and I need you to reserve a space for her.” My friend was dumbfounded and didn’t understand.

About a month later, one of my good friends suggested I join a dating website because he had just become engaged. I resisted his suggestion, telling him all the reasons why I didn’t want to. He simply said, “It works!” So, I decided that I would give it a shot and told myself I wouldn’t put much effort into it. I went out on a few dates and everything was confirming “why” I didn’t like online dating! After nearly calling it all but quits on the site, I decided to do a search. In my search, a very familiar and beautiful lady appeared. I looked closely, looked even closer, and thought “no, this can’t be that girl.” So, I sent an email, telling her she looked familiar and more. You see, I had already met this lady, on two brief occasions, and we talked each time, but that was it. She replied back, excitedly, and remembered who I was.

We arranged for a date, and I gave her 3 options – 1) dinner, 2) lunch, or 3) Costco Churros (I wanted to see her sense of humor). She went for the Costco Churro option! I arrived at Costco, with a candlestick and a bottle of wine. She arrived, more gorgeous and stunning than I remembered. Imagine, two people, dressed up, sitting on the tables in a parking lot at Costco with candles, wine, and their churro! As the employees left, they were amazed and in awe at how “romantic” and “cute” we were. One lady even said that she was going to tell her husband that he needed to do that! We left after about two hours of just talking and went to Coronado to walk on the beach and have cocktails. The second day we spent it at a friend’s BBQ and the 3rd day we spent the day at a local lake and had our own BBQ. That was three months ago. So far, we have been on trips, are talking about our future together, and been pretty much inseparable. She is everything I could have ever imagined … but then again, I guess I did!”

Brandon is a great example of what can happen when you take the time to make a thoughtful detailed soulmate wish list, create a ritual to release the list, trusted his intuition when it was time to “take action” and, perhaps most importantly, he practiced “living as if.”

Wishing you love, laughter, and magical kisses,

Arielle

Dear Arielle and Brian,

I am 42 and have practiced some sort of metaphysics since my teens. For the past 15 years I have been focused on manifesting my soulmate. I have often felt angry and discouraged because he is still not here.

I have read tons of books, made many wish lists, meditated, you name it. All of this has helped me grow into a person that now (finally) ready for the type of man and type of marriage that I seek.

Everything else in my life is great. I just have this deep longing for my soul mate. I often meet men but I am unwilling to go out on dates just for the sake of going out with someone doesn’t meet my standards.

My question is: what additional work do I need to do within to manifest my soul mate?

Regards,
Suzie

Hi Suzie,

We suggest that you continue to do all the great things you’re doing to explore your deeper self, and continue to do all of the exercises in THE SOULMATE SECRET. And, do this with the intention, ”I’m going to have as much FUN as I possibly can!”

So, the next time you feel discouraged or angered, move into your heart space and send yourself, your friends, and the world more love. This will immediately lift your spirits. You might even consider going out on those dates you’ve turned down in the past just to have more fun and develop more friendships. Maybe after the 3rd or 4th date the sparks might fly and wouldn’t that be fun??? Remember, when it comes to men, it’s always best when you can create a space of love, acceptance and trust for the man to grow into his higher self and allow him to find his way and (most importantly) follow and trust your guidance in this process as well. You’ll most likely limit your opportunities if the checklist is too long or your demands are unrealistic.

Suzie, please “know’ your soulmate is on the way so be as patient as possible because spirit has no timetable. Do your best to detach from any results, expectations or expected outcomes and trust that the Universe will support you in delivering your soulmate to you. Until then, have as much FUN as your heart desires because you obviously deserve Big Love in your life!!

Love,
Arielle and Brian

Arielle Ford has spent the past 25 years living and promoting consciousness through all forms of media. She is one of the founding partners of the Spiritual Cinema Circle, a DVD club dedicated to providing movies about love and compassion. She is the author of seven books including the HOT CHOCOLATE FOR THE MYSTICAL SOUL series and her newest book THE SOULMATE SECRET: Manifest The Love of Your Life With The Law of Attraction. Her husband and soulmate Brian Hilliard is a business consultant with a life-long interest in spirituality and the practice of compassion. They live in La Jolla, CA www.soulmatesecret.com

Disclaimer: Arielle Ford, Brian Hilliard, the Big Love column and its publishers assume no responsibility for any consequence relating directly or indirectly to any action or inaction you take based on the information, services or other material related to this column.

Hi Arielle and Brian,

My name is Sharon. I am 42 years old. I have practiced some sort of metaphysics since I was in my teens. The last 15 years I have been mainly focused on manifesting my soul mate. During these many years, I have felt angry and discouraged many times because he is still not here.

The surprising thing is, every time I became angry and discouraged I felt that even though it was not working I had no other choice but to move forward because I had learned a little bit more and it was impossible to live in that place that I passed again. Also, I knew the past was filled with pain and did not see much sense in returning to a place that did not work before.

I have read tons of books, made many, many list that at least 10 years old. I have meditated, you name it and I have done it and is still doing it. I continue to use “new aged” techniques to manifest my soul mate because I do believe they work and have realized just how much they have helped me grow into the person who I know is now ready and deserves the man and type of marriage that I seek.

Everything else in my life is great. I just have this deep longing for my soul mate and the type of marriage I know is right for me even though I did not see any examples around me growing up. I do meet men often but, I am unwilling to go out on dates just for the sake of going out or being in a relationship with a man that I know is not right for me.

I feel comfortable identifying men that I cannot envision having the type of marriage I know I deserve and desire since, I have learned through my practice to be very honest with myself and to look at the not so nice parts of my personality and determine whether I am what I am asking the Universe to bring to me.

My question is, what additional work do I need to do within to manifest my soul mate?

Regards,

Sharon

Hi Sharon,

Before we get started we just want to give you thanks and praise for the commitment and discipline you’ve had over the years to grow as a person and open your heart to all the possibilities this wonderful journey has to offer. We also commend you for the discernment you’ve used as well as relying on your intuition in not jumping into a relationship that didn’t feel right to you. It is a beautiful example so many of us could follow.

Sharon, please consider this suggestion to add to your repertoire—continue to do all the great things you’re doing to explore your deeper self, continue to shine a light on your shadow self and please stick with all the exercises and prescriptions in THE SOULMATE SECRET. But do the work with this intention–”I’m going to have as much FUN as I possibly can!” So the next time you feel discouraged or angered move into your heart space and send yourself, your friends and the world more love. This will lighten your load and immediately lift your spirits. You might even consider going out on those dates you’ve turned down in the past just to have more fun and develop more friendships.. It feels like your intuition is well tuned (for knowing who the “right” guy is for you) so having a good time only benefits you and the world. And who knows maybe after the 3rd or 4th date the sparks might fly!!!!! Wouldn’t that be fun Sharon??? And please honestly reassess your definition of marriage—it might be just right but it might also be that you’ve set the “bar” a little too high for any man to jump over. It always works best when you can create enough space of love, acceptance and trust for the man to grow into his higher self and allow him to find his way and (most importantly) follow your guidance in this process as well. You’ll never have that opportunity if the checklist is too long or your demands are unrealistic.

Sharon-you are an amazing person and just “know’ your Soulmate is close by—so be as patient as possible because spirit has no timetable and do your best to detach from any results, expectations or expected outcomes and trust the Universe will support you in delivering your Soulmate to you…in the meantime have as much FUN as your heart desires!!! You obviously deserve Big Love in your life!!

love,
Arielle and Brian