Beware of False Attractions!

I was interviewed recently on The MatchMatrix show by my friend Larry Michel and his partner Frank Seifert. Off the air Larry shared with me a remarkable love story about he and his romantic partner Cindy. I asked if he would write about it for us.

When I met my love Cindy she was dating another man. We had a very powerful and instant connection that was almost frightening. Most women and men I talk to can relate. Can you remember when you were so captivated and taken by a person that you felt instantly in love? Do you also remember totally doubting the intensity or depth of your feelings?

That was Cindy. Our hearts opened to each other instantly. It was much more than just good conversation and a physical appeal. There was a vibration that told me someone very special had come into my life. She loved it and doubted it at the same time.

I knew with certainty that this was a woman I wanted to spend time with. I was ready to expose my life and my heart and I started to do so.

There was one small challenge. Cindy was dating another man when we met. He was very interested in her. She was also very attracted to him. That attraction was so strong she decided to get serious and date only the “other guy”. We remained friends, but did not date.

This is where our story gets interesting. By running a MatchMatrix Relationship Report Cindy and I found out she has False Attractions. That means whenever she feels strong chemistry to a person and decides to follow that attraction she ends up in a relationship that doesn’t work.

We also found out she and I were perfectly energetically matched. When a couple is aligned like we are magic happens and soulmates are discovered!

I have been involved with MatchMatrix for years and know how powerful and misleading False Attractions are. Cindy needed to find out for herself.

A few months later that’s exactly what happened. She realized the relationship with the “other guy” was not going to work and we started to date again. We have been together ever since. She moved into my home and I adore her, as do my children.

Cindy will tell you that if she did not know about MatchMatrix she never would have come back. She would have followed her old patterns of meeting a guy and when it didn’t work, move on.

She realized two things she never knew before. She must not ever follow her False Attractions, and the amazing connection she experienced with me from the day we met was very real. Our hearts have been open and joyfully blossoming together ever since.

I feel blessed. Through MatchMatrix I have been able to guide thousands of men and women to loving and fulfilling relationships. And I get to crawl into bed every night with a woman I love and connect with in more ways than I have with anyone before.

Larry’s story illustrates the power of finding tools that can make a difference in love. Match Matrix can assist you in knowing if a relationship has true potential. www.matchmatrix.com

Wishing you love, laughter, and magical kisses,

Arielle

My new book Wabi Sabi Love is now available!  Finding your Soulmate is just the beginning.  Read how successful couples keep the soulmate fire burning.  Receive a priceless bonus bundle of advanced love attraction resources and techniques when you order your copy right here:   Wabi Sabi Love

Imagine If…

When my nephew Beau was a little boy (he’s about to turn 15!) he would often announce to those around him that he was “busy playing with his imagination.” This was his way of telling us not to disturb him. We can all learn something from Beau: playing with your imagination is a powerful way to activate the Law of Attraction. Here’s a fun way to bring some new juice to your soulmate manifestation process:

Take 15 minutes and find a place where you can be completely undisturbed. Find a comfortable place to sit and close your eyes.

Breathe deeply and slowly for a minute or two. Let your shoulders drop, let the tension in your body drift away and then thank yourself for taking this time to have a little fun.I want you to use your imagination to go into the future.

First pick a year and a season…for instance you could use Fall 2011 (two years from now or go further out in the future).Now imagine that it is a Saturday morning. You are asleep but you can observe yourself. What do the sheets look like? What are you wearing? What time of morning is it? You are about to wake up (Don’t open your eyes yet) but you know that your soulmate is sleeping next to you with his or her back toward you.
Allow yourself to simply feel the presence of another in the bed with you. What are you feeling? Where in your body are you feeling it? Savor these feelings as you continue to breathe slowly.

Your soulmate is sound asleep, but you are beginning to wake up.Now, with your imagination, begin to remember the plans the two of you have for the weekend. You can’t see the face of your beloved, simply use your imagination to remember one of the events for the weekend that you are looking forward to. As you see this event, give it details. What will you be wearing? Where will you two be going? What is the weather like? What will be the most memorable part of the event? This can be any part of the weekend – from breakfast in bed, to lunch on the patio, to a walk on the beach, a hike in the woods, a bike ride, grocery shopping, painting the spare room….whatever event your imagination serves up to you is just perfect.

As you are observing you & your beloved (you can either see the back of their head or feel them behind you but no need to try and see their face) in this event, pick out three details to remember: maybe a color of something around you, a scent in the air, and most importantly an enjoyable feeling. Now notice where in your body that feeling is located and take a moment to spread that feeling throughout your body. Continue to breathe deeply and slowly and see yourself in this event closing your eyes.It’s now time to come back to the present moment. Feel your body sitting in the chair, feel your feet on the ground. Notice the temperature of the room. And when you are ready, open your eyes.

You have played with your imagination to reach into your future. The important thing to take away from this exercise is the feelings you experienced. You can tap into them at any time as a reminder that your soulmate exists.

Wishing you love, laughter and magical kisses!

Arielle

My new book Wabi Sabi Love is now available!  Finding your Soulmate is just the beginning.  Read how successful couples keep the soulmate fire burning.  Receive a priceless bonus bundle of advanced love attraction resources and techniques when you order your copy right here:   Wabi Sabi Love

The Divine Timing of Love

Carol Allen and I were chatting about the nature of divine timing recently and I asked her to guest blog this week. Here’s what she has to share with you on the topic of Divine Timing & Love:

I spoke with a client yesterday with an amazing story…

When she was in college, she fell in love with a guy her age. They were together for a couple of years and everything was great. There was just one little problem…

He was a guy in college. And after they graduated, he was a guy FRESH out of college. He didn’t have a career, didn’t own a home, and still liked to drink and hang out with his buddies. (I believe the scientific term for a man at this stage of life is DUDE.)

So my client (let’s call her Jennifer) thought, “He doesn’t feel like he’s ready to be a husband. I guess that means he’s not MY husband. I guess that means I should let him go and find someone who’s ready…”

So Jennifer broke up with him. Soon she met an older man who had all the things her boyfriend did not. So even though she didn’t love him as much, she went off with this MAN to “have a good life.”

(Cue the scratching needle on the record player about now…)

You can probably guess what happened.

The DUDE grew up. He went to graduate school, became a lawyer and made a name for himself.

And Jennifer?

She was in a loveless, “stable” marriage for fifteen years, dreaming of her ex.

Yikes…

Now, here’s the amazing part. Jennifer was lucky that her ex. had stayed single. They picked up right where they left off and are now married with two children, blissfully happy…

Have you ever been like Jennifer – in a relationship that was good but the timing wasn’t right? You cared about each other but some problem got in the way, making it impossible to be together… so you went your separate ways? Maybe it was the “right” guy at the “wrong” time…

The #1 reason women come to see me as an astrologer is to find out: WHEN will love come and last? Your chart really can show when your “prince” will come and when he WON’T no matter how hard you try.

I’ve created a personalized, thirty-year report to help you know when you’re in a painful “love-blocking” cycle and when you’re not. It’s called “Cycles Of Saturn – Charting The Ups And Downs Of Your Life And How To Make The Most Of Them.” (Jennifer was in a “love-blocking” time when she married the wrong man, and the report would have warned against it…)

Now you can know how to spend your energy. Is this the time to look for love, or not? Should you keep your guy or let him go? It’s such a relief to know when the right love can come – and when it CAN’T – and what to do in the meantime…

My new book Wabi Sabi Love is now available!  Finding your Soulmate is just the beginning.  Read how successful couples keep the soulmate fire burning.  Receive a priceless bonus bundle of advanced love attraction resources and techniques when you order your copy right here:   Wabi Sabi Love

How Do You Know When You’ve Found the ONE?

On the day that I met Brian I knew that he was the ONE. I knew because I heard a voice that keep telling he was the One. I knew because I had been given clues in a dream. It was completely clear to me that he was the One. Lately I have received many emails asking me “how do I know if he/she is the One?” I decided to ask several of my friends who are happily married to their soulmates “how they knew.”

Gay Hendricks shares: It felt very natural and organic that I found Katie, because it happened right after I’d had a powerful transformation experience where I found “the one” inside myself. I remember the writer Tom Robbins saying “We waste time looking for the perfect lover, instead of creating the perfect love.” That’s essentially the realization I had in December 1979, that I needed to love myself deeply, and attract a lover out of that unconditional love for me. Next month I met Katie!

www.hendricks.com

Kathlyn Hendricks said: When I first saw Gay in 1980 at a seminar and we locked eyes for a timeless moment, I had the experience of recognizing and being deeply recognized in layers upon layers of delicious expansion. That’s how I knew he was “the one.”

Shannon Peck (married to Scott Peck) said: I used to ask my mom this question when I was growing up at home. She and my dad had a truly soulmate relationship (they just celebrated their 69th wedding anniversary!). Mom said, “You’ll know because you’ll want to be with him all the time.” That was one of the “check in points” I referred to when I found myself growing very strong with love for Scott while we were dating.I also evaluated from other points too, such as: we were spiritually in sync, we had so much fun being together, even while doing nothing, we got along beautifully. I felt treated with great love, respect, and adoration, I felt I could trust Scott with fidelity because of how he lived with integrity and he would never hurt me, and I felt a deep, intimate, lasting, sense of “belonging” connection with him.

www.thelovecenter.com

Rev. Cynthia James (married to Carl Studna) said: “When a friend asked me, can I imagine my life without him? I said that I couldn’t.”

www.whatwillsetyoufree.com

Monte Farber reveals: I knew Amy Zerner was “The One” when I noticed that watching her live was my supreme enjoyment. I didn’t want her to be anything other than who she was and wanted to be and that is as true today, 35 years later, as it was when our romance first bloomed into love.

www.theenchantedworld.com

As you can see, it’s different from everyone. If you are currently with someone that you “think” might be your soulmate, enjoy the process of getting to know them in all types of situations. Meet their friends and family. Travel with them (one of the best ways I know to get to know someone on the deepest level). Don’t feel as if you have to “know” right now. At the right moment in time, you will become crystal clear.

Wishing you love, laughter, and magical kisses,

Arielle

My new book Wabi Sabi Love is now available!  Finding your Soulmate is just the beginning.  Read how successful couples keep the soulmate fire burning.  Receive a priceless bonus bundle of advanced love attraction resources and techniques when you order your copy right here:   Wabi Sabi Love

LIVING AS IF SUCCESS STORY…

I recently spoke at an event and met a man named Brandon who was very excited to share his “soulmate success story” with me. Please enjoy his personal account:

“Several years ago after my divorce, I wrote out the characteristics and traits my “soulmate” would have. After listening to the audio book, The Soulmate Secret: Manifest the Love of Your Life with the Law of Attraction , I decided to revisit that list, refine it, and release it to the Universe. As I re-read my list, I really got into the feeling of what each characteristic and trait meant and why it was important to me. I burned my list and watched the light breeze carry it into the ethers. I remember visualizing the Universe orchestrating every fiber of that list to bring her into my experience.

Shortly after that, I receive an invitation to a wedding for a friend of mine. Since I was now fully “living as if” I replied for “two” to the RSVP. My friend called, excited, and said, “You have a new girlfriend?” I laughed and said “No, but I will, and I need you to reserve a space for her.” My friend was dumbfounded and didn’t understand.

About a month later, one of my good friends suggested I join a dating website because he had just become engaged. I resisted his suggestion, telling him all the reasons why I didn’t want to. He simply said, “It works!” So, I decided that I would give it a shot and told myself I wouldn’t put much effort into it. I went out on a few dates and everything was confirming “why” I didn’t like online dating! After nearly calling it all but quits on the site, I decided to do a search. In my search, a very familiar and beautiful lady appeared. I looked closely, looked even closer, and thought “no, this can’t be that girl.” So, I sent an email, telling her she looked familiar and more. You see, I had already met this lady, on two brief occasions, and we talked each time, but that was it. She replied back, excitedly, and remembered who I was.

We arranged for a date, and I gave her 3 options – 1) dinner, 2) lunch, or 3) Costco Churros (I wanted to see her sense of humor). She went for the Costco Churro option! I arrived at Costco, with a candlestick and a bottle of wine. She arrived, more gorgeous and stunning than I remembered. Imagine, two people, dressed up, sitting on the tables in a parking lot at Costco with candles, wine, and their churro! As the employees left, they were amazed and in awe at how “romantic” and “cute” we were. One lady even said that she was going to tell her husband that he needed to do that! We left after about two hours of just talking and went to Coronado to walk on the beach and have cocktails. The second day we spent it at a friend’s BBQ and the 3rd day we spent the day at a local lake and had our own BBQ. That was three months ago. So far, we have been on trips, are talking about our future together, and been pretty much inseparable. She is everything I could have ever imagined … but then again, I guess I did!”

Brandon is a great example of what can happen when you take the time to make a thoughtful detailed soulmate wish list, create a ritual to release the list, trusted his intuition when it was time to “take action” and, perhaps most importantly, he practiced “living as if.”

Wishing you love, laughter, and magical kisses,

Arielle

My new book Wabi Sabi Love is now available!  Finding your Soulmate is just the beginning.  Read how successful couples keep the soulmate fire burning.  Receive a priceless bonus bundle of advanced love attraction resources and techniques when you order your copy right here:   Wabi Sabi Love

Big Love: “Secrets from Soulmates Arielle & Brian”

Dear Arielle and Brian,

I am 42 and have practiced some sort of metaphysics since my teens. For the past 15 years I have been focused on manifesting my soulmate. I have often felt angry and discouraged because he is still not here.

I have read tons of books, made many wish lists, meditated, you name it. All of this has helped me grow into a person that now (finally) ready for the type of man and type of marriage that I seek.

Everything else in my life is great. I just have this deep longing for my soul mate. I often meet men but I am unwilling to go out on dates just for the sake of going out with someone doesn’t meet my standards.

My question is: what additional work do I need to do within to manifest my soul mate?

Regards,
Suzie


Hi Suzie,

We suggest that you continue to do all the great things you’re doing to explore your deeper self, and continue to do all of the exercises in THE SOULMATE SECRET. And, do this with the intention, ”I’m going to have as much FUN as I possibly can!”

So, the next time you feel discouraged or angered, move into your heart space and send yourself, your friends, and the world more love. This will immediately lift your spirits. You might even consider going out on those dates you’ve turned down in the past just to have more fun and develop more friendships. Maybe after the 3rd or 4th date the sparks might fly and wouldn’t that be fun??? Remember, when it comes to men, it’s always best when you can create a space of love, acceptance and trust for the man to grow into his higher self and allow him to find his way and (most importantly) follow and trust your guidance in this process as well. You’ll most likely limit your opportunities if the checklist is too long or your demands are unrealistic.

Suzie, please “know’ your soulmate is on the way so be as patient as possible because spirit has no timetable. Do your best to detach from any results, expectations or expected outcomes and trust that the Universe will support you in delivering your soulmate to you. Until then, have as much FUN as your heart desires because you obviously deserve Big Love in your life!!

Love,
Arielle and Brian


Arielle Ford has spent the past 25 years living and promoting consciousness through all forms of media. She is one of the founding partners of the Spiritual Cinema Circle, a DVD club dedicated to providing movies about love and compassion. She is the author of seven books including the HOT CHOCOLATE FOR THE MYSTICAL SOUL series and her newest book THE SOULMATE SECRET: Manifest The Love of Your Life With The Law of Attraction. Her husband and soulmate Brian Hilliard is a business consultant with a life-long interest in spirituality and the practice of compassion. They live in La Jolla, CA www.soulmatesecret.com

Disclaimer: Arielle Ford, Brian Hilliard, the Big Love column and its publishers assume no responsibility for any consequence relating directly or indirectly to any action or inaction you take based on the information, services or other material related to this column.

My new book Wabi Sabi Love is now available!  Finding your Soulmate is just the beginning.  Read how successful couples keep the soulmate fire burning.  Receive a priceless bonus bundle of advanced love attraction resources and techniques when you order your copy right here:   Wabi Sabi Love

BIG LOVE: “Secrets from Soulmates Arielle & Brian”

Hi Arielle and Brian,

My name is Sharon. I am 42 years old. I have practiced some sort of metaphysics since I was in my teens. The last 15 years I have been mainly focused on manifesting my soul mate. During these many years, I have felt angry and discouraged many times because he is still not here.

The surprising thing is, every time I became angry and discouraged I felt that even though it was not working I had no other choice but to move forward because I had learned a little bit more and it was impossible to live in that place that I passed again. Also, I knew the past was filled with pain and did not see much sense in returning to a place that did not work before.

I have read tons of books, made many, many list that at least 10 years old. I have meditated, you name it and I have done it and is still doing it. I continue to use “new aged” techniques to manifest my soul mate because I do believe they work and have realized just how much they have helped me grow into the person who I know is now ready and deserves the man and type of marriage that I seek.

Everything else in my life is great. I just have this deep longing for my soul mate and the type of marriage I know is right for me even though I did not see any examples around me growing up. I do meet men often but, I am unwilling to go out on dates just for the sake of going out or being in a relationship with a man that I know is not right for me.

I feel comfortable identifying men that I cannot envision having the type of marriage I know I deserve and desire since, I have learned through my practice to be very honest with myself and to look at the not so nice parts of my personality and determine whether I am what I am asking the Universe to bring to me.

My question is, what additional work do I need to do within to manifest my soul mate?

Regards,

Sharon


Hi Sharon,

Before we get started we just want to give you thanks and praise for the commitment and discipline you’ve had over the years to grow as a person and open your heart to all the possibilities this wonderful journey has to offer. We also commend you for the discernment you’ve used as well as relying on your intuition in not jumping into a relationship that didn’t feel right to you. It is a beautiful example so many of us could follow.

Sharon, please consider this suggestion to add to your repertoire—continue to do all the great things you’re doing to explore your deeper self, continue to shine a light on your shadow self and please stick with all the exercises and prescriptions in THE SOULMATE SECRET. But do the work with this intention–”I’m going to have as much FUN as I possibly can!” So the next time you feel discouraged or angered move into your heart space and send yourself, your friends and the world more love. This will lighten your load and immediately lift your spirits. You might even consider going out on those dates you’ve turned down in the past just to have more fun and develop more friendships.. It feels like your intuition is well tuned (for knowing who the “right” guy is for you) so having a good time only benefits you and the world. And who knows maybe after the 3rd or 4th date the sparks might fly!!!!! Wouldn’t that be fun Sharon??? And please honestly reassess your definition of marriage—it might be just right but it might also be that you’ve set the “bar” a little too high for any man to jump over. It always works best when you can create enough space of love, acceptance and trust for the man to grow into his higher self and allow him to find his way and (most importantly) follow your guidance in this process as well. You’ll never have that opportunity if the checklist is too long or your demands are unrealistic.

Sharon-you are an amazing person and just “know’ your Soulmate is close by—so be as patient as possible because spirit has no timetable and do your best to detach from any results, expectations or expected outcomes and trust the Universe will support you in delivering your Soulmate to you…in the meantime have as much FUN as your heart desires!!! You obviously deserve Big Love in your life!!

love,
Arielle and Brian

My new book Wabi Sabi Love is now available!  Finding your Soulmate is just the beginning.  Read how successful couples keep the soulmate fire burning.  Receive a priceless bonus bundle of advanced love attraction resources and techniques when you order your copy right here:   Wabi Sabi Love

What’s on your love altar?

Since Arielle has been on vacation, she asked me to share with you how to utilize feng shui, altars and shrines to help manifest your soulmate. Her book, The Soulmate Secret, touches on these important tools that are available for us to co-create our lives.

As many people know, where intention goes, energy flows. Because of how energy functions, we are each engaged in co-creation with the Life Force. If you want to manifest your soul mate, you need to set the intention for it to be so. Setting an intention is like speaking to the Divine through a megaphone: it gets the message across more clearly.

This is the true magic behind creating an altar or shrine, which are incredible spiritual tools because they anchor our feelings and thoughts so we become very clear and specific about what we want.

The bedroom is an important sacred space, as it is usually where you spend the most time in your home. This sacred space and how it is decorated and arranged is especially important to manifesting your soul mate. Intentions made here resonate strongly through your personal energy field.

In terms of manifesting your soul mate, what intention do you have for this sacred space? If you want to manifest a more active love life or initiate a romantic relationship, energy enhancements and specifically designed altars can assist you in anchoring these intentions.

This room is an excellent place for an altar or shrine because you will see it first, when rising in the morning, and last, when going to bed at night. To your psyche these are significant moments when the body makes an organic and natural internal shift. In the morning we “start our engines” so to speak. In the evening, we slow down, rest and relax from the day’s activities.

Whether your bedroom is located in the Marriage and Relationship quadrant of the Feng Shui Bagua, or not, it is the preferred location for an altar or shrine dedicated to manifesting your soul mate.

Tips for a simple shrine or altar in your bedroom:

Whether you decide to create a vision board, or want to establish a small altar, it is important to cleanse and sanctify the ambient energy of the surrounding space. Energy and space clearing techniques include: first de-cluttering the space; cleansing yourself; and then utilizing any of the following practices: smudging, bells (and/or drums), holy water, and if you are trained – a pendulum for clearing energies.

Next, gather pictures and items that resonate deeply with your vision of romance and your potential partner. They can be inspirational, practical, decorative, symbolic or all four. You may want to utilize and balance the aspects of the 5 elements of feng shui – water; metal; earth; fire and wood.Balance the qualities of yin and yang (feminine and masculine attributes) with color, sound, and scents.

Other ideas are: talismans, gem stones, totems, inspirational quotes, cards and poems, favorite and natural objects, and sacred-mystical symbols and artifacts that resonate love, partnership and romance to you.

Keep in mind visual reminders of couples and pairs.

Once you have gathered your soul mate manifesting ingredients, assemble and bless them. Chose a piece of material to serve as an altar cloth and drape the fabric over a flat surface to create a consecrated space. Pick colors, patterns and textures that resonate with your intention. Place your objects ‘intentionally’. When you are finished, close your eyes and tune-in to your intention. Do one of Arielle’s feelingizations exercises to anchor your soul mate intention.

Remember that this process does not have to be done in one day. It can be a living altar that you tend to on a daily basis or weekly basis – adding to or removing objects as you like.

You can learn more about the art of shrine and altar crafting in my book: Creating Home Sanctuaries with Feng Shui: Sacred Spaces, Altars, and Shrines . This book will easily guide you through a seven-stage process for building personal retreats, altar and shrines within your home.

Many blessings,

Shawne Mitchell

P.S. For information about a phone consultation please email shawne@nullshawnemitchell.com

My new book Wabi Sabi Love is now available!  Finding your Soulmate is just the beginning.  Read how successful couples keep the soulmate fire burning.  Receive a priceless bonus bundle of advanced love attraction resources and techniques when you order your copy right here:   Wabi Sabi Love

BIG LOVE: “Secrets from Soulmates Arielle & Brian”

ari-bri
Dear Arielle & Brian,

I have been fortunate enough to come across your recent work, The Soulmate Secret. The guidance you provide is sound and amazingly simple. The ideas suggest much of what the Hindu religion teaches, of which I am a faithful follower. I find it very refreshing!

I hope to further seek your insight on a question that may innately seem contrary to what you are trying to teach in your book, but plagues me nonetheless. As I was reading, I kept wondering to myself, why are there individuals whom love seems to elude, but then there are others who–without the use of feng shui, living as if, or any of the other suggestions you offer–just find, with minimal to no effort, what most of us are searching for? At the risk of sounding ungrateful, it is frustrating and unfair to know that without having done anything wrong, someone like myself is put in the position of constantly wanting something that just falls into many others’ laps.

I have discussed the issue at great lengths with a few of my close friends, and while comforting and supportive, there has been little progress in my journey towards coming to terms with this disparity and understanding it for what it is. I am hoping you might be able to find a moment to share with me your thoughts on the matter.

I do appreciate your time and I look forward to hearing from you!

Regards,

Mallika


Hi Mallika,

We think the simple answer is Karma. Please continue to be grateful for your beauty, intuition and intelligence and TRUST that there is good reason why it isn’t “easy” and “know” that YOU DO have the power to manifest the love of your life. Also be patient and know that you are not in charge–SPIRIT is and it does not operate in our time/space dimension.

We would suggest focusing more on your own personal growth, nurture more and more self love and “FEELING’ what it will be like when that Beautiful, Aware, Conscious, Loving Man shows up for you in such a big way that it will immediately dissolve any time to wonder or worry about what other people are doing with their love lives–you will be having too much fun living out your own dreams.

Mallika, please know we’re your biggest fans and that we’re holding a powerful loving intention that your Soulmate is nearby and your hearts will connect soon.

Wishing you love, laughter and magical kisses,
Arielle and Brian

Arielle Ford has spent the past 25 years living and promoting consciousness through all forms of media. She is one of the founding partners of the Spiritual Cinema Circle, a DVD club dedicated to providing movies about love and compassion. She is the author of seven books including the HOT CHOCOLATE FOR THE MYSTICAL SOUL series and her newest book THE SOULMATE SECRET: Manifest The Love of Your Life With The Law of Attraction. Her husband and soulmate Brian Hilliard is a business consultant with a life-long interest in spirituality and the practice of compassion. They live in La Jolla, CA www.soulmatesecret.com

Disclaimer: Arielle Ford, Brian Hilliard, the Big Love column and its publishers assume no responsibility for any consequence relating directly or indirectly to any action or inaction you take based on the information, services or other material related to this column.

My new book Wabi Sabi Love is now available!  Finding your Soulmate is just the beginning.  Read how successful couples keep the soulmate fire burning.  Receive a priceless bonus bundle of advanced love attraction resources and techniques when you order your copy right here:   Wabi Sabi Love

The BIGGEST Mistake Women Make with Men

The BIGGEST Mistake Women Make with Men (without even realizing it!)

Gina is a great coach. She’s smart, beautiful, and successful. She’s well traveled and well respected. She has great friends. Gina’s life is full.

Gina loves to make people feel special. She loves sharing ideas and giving advice.

When Gina meets a man she likes, she gives him phone calls, little gifts, and often her body without asking for anything in return.

Gina is a generous woman.

Gina thinks by giving more, she’ll be more appreciated and loved. (Her friends adore her.)

But guess what?

Gina’s giving is preventing her from getting what she wants most…a successful, intimate romantic relationship.

Gina thinks the more she gives to a man, the more he will appreciate her and want her. Gina is sadly mistaken.

Little boys may appreciate what Gina offers, but a real man does not want a generous woman. No matter how much he says he does.

Oh, he will snack for a while. (Is there a man among us who doesn’t enjoy free treats?)

But he won’t fall in love.

So when Gina gives more by doing for him, performing for him, giving him ideas and advice, he doesn’t love it. He resents it. He finds it disrespectful.

And ultimately, he leaves.

Most men do not wake up in the morning and thank God for sending a woman to tell him what to do.

Men cannot fall in love with women who give too much.

Men fall in love with women who love themselves first and know how to give back in appreciation.

Men must “do good” to “feel good”.

Women must “feel good” to “do good”.

(Think about this for a moment.)

If you are “doing good” for someone without “feeling good” about it, you are giving too much. (Unless of course, you are a man.) (There are many “men” in women’s bodies.)

When we give equally to a man, we neutralize the chemistry.

When we give more, we block intimacy.

When we give less and appreciate what he offers, we fall in love.

So the next time you want to give to a man you like…your date, your husband, your teenage son…

Ask yourself, “Am I giving too much?”

If the answer is “yes”, then stop what you are doing (or saying) and wait for him to give you something. (It could be a compliment, a dinner invitation or a piece of advice, whatever…)

Then say “thank you”.

It can be uncomfortable to receive what a man has to offer. (Especially since it will never be how or what you would give.) (Ever.)

But it is important to acknowledge him and say “thanks”. (At the very least, he is giving you information about who he is.)

When you stop giving too much and learn to appreciate and respect what a man can give…you will be rewarded! (Big time!)

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