Dear Soulmate Manifesters,

Whether you love it or not, the road to manifesting Big Love involves dating. A lot of dating. Dating is how we discover and uncover the traits, values, beliefs and potential compatibility in each other. I recently heard about a terrific dating expert named Rori Raye and had a conversation with her about the tools she teaches. Rori describes her marriage as
“amazing" but says it came out of “lots of bad relationships.” She was a crumb taker, always with guys who didn’t want her. Not an uncommon problem. Rori’s light bulb moment came when she realized that she was
“on the hunt,” she was
“wanting,” and she was looking for the wrong kind of man: one who didn’t want her – for her, not being wanted was what love felt like. She realized she was afraid of true intimacy – which required her ability to vulnerable. And vulnerability was completely out of her comfort zone, because she had no idea how to be with her feelings. With this new awareness, she began to work on loving herself and no longer tolerating men who didn’t make her feel good about herself. She now calls this behavior Strong Surrender. She’s strong on the inside (keeps boundaries, doesn’t tolerate crap) and soft on the outside (you allow your feelings to come through). As soon as she got to this point, her future husband, Jeffery showed up. They have now been together 22 years and have one daughter.

Rori & Jeffrey dated for five months before they moved in together in May (not something she currently recommends), with the understanding that by New Years Eve they would be engaged. Rori’s biological clock was ticking and she was clear with Jeffrey that she wanted to have a baby right away. On New Years Eve, she got all dressed up, fully expecting a proposal. What she got from Jeffrey was: “if you really loved me you would give me more time.”

She saw her life pass before her eyes and felt like she had been hit by a brick. She said to him (in what she describes as a soft way…with warmth and a smile), “You can take as much time as you want, except…you can’t have me all to yourself while you are figuring out what you want to do.”

That was an option he’d never considered. She hadn’t gotten angry and told him to “get out,” she hadn’t caved in and said “whatever you want, honey…”

He had no idea what she intended to do.

The next weekend she took off to Santa Barbara by herself and had a great time. Within two months Jeffrey proposed. He later told her, “I just knew I was going to lose you if I didn’t propose.”

Rori believes that her strong, independent energy field (which was in her best interest) sent the signals that made it clear to Jeffrey he was soon to lose the love of his life. By the way, this happened without her having to say anything more. And, if you think this was a strategy or game playing on her part, it wasn’t. Rori wasn’t making him bad or wrong. She was simply keeping her options open. She was clear that she was ready for marriage and a baby and that this is what she planned to manifest.

This has now become her famous “No Boyfriend” speech. This speech (which comes up when the conversation comes around to “are we exclusive?”) says: “I’m not looking for a boyfriend, I want to be married. I feel so good with you and I don’t want to put pressure on our relationship. It feels better to just keep my options open until the man shows up who wants what I want.”

Rori believes this keeps you utterly sane until he proposes. I can hear many of you now thinking, “But, Rori, I don’t want to date anyone else?” And her response is:

Learn to love it. Practice Circular Dating (Rori’s very unique way to use every interaction with every man you meet, no matter how young or old, short or tall, handsome or not, to practice your Rori Raye tools, to use Feeling Messages and shift your vibe so that the right man will show up and want to stay forever.

A Feeling Message is when every single sentence you say (to everyone) begins with “It feels, it felt, I’m feeling – some version of the word feel.” This is a therapeutic tool to get you connected to your feelings, and it works like magic with a man. When a man hears the word feel he has an instantaneous heart level response – and he’ll feel connected to you. Feeling Messages help you learn to be vulnerable. It’s about learning to speak to a man in a way you can be truly heard and a way that will draw him to you. It’s irresistibly attractive. It teaches you how to be vulnerable in small ways. You can learn more about her work by signing up for her free e-newsletter at : Rori Raye

Wishing you love, laughter, and magical kisses,

Arielle

See Arielle on the TODAY SHOW

Signup for our newsletter
Click Here