You are bad, wrong, and broken

Yep.  That’s a message many of us are giving ourselves every day.

We have a negative voice in our head that is constantly judging, criticizing, shaming and blaming and “shoulding” on us.

I stopped fighting with this voice a long time ago.

Now when she speaks, I laugh at her and say: “Yes, you are right.  I am a total mess. A complete f$#k up. and you know, what? I love myself anyway.”

My friend, the late, great Wayne Dyer always said: “Don’t believe every thought that you have.”

He is 100% right.

Just because you have a thought, doesn’t make it so.

The negative voice(s) in your head will probably never totally disappear no matter how high you elevate your self-esteem, no matter how many personal growth workshops you take, or how much therapy you have – our core wounds never truly disappear 100%.

So, I suggest we just learn to have fun with this part of ourselves.

My sister, Debbie, would have told you to give this part of yourself a name – maybe call her “Nasty Nellie ” or “Critical Carl” or “Negative Nancy” and when they show up, laugh in their face, tell them they are wrong and then give yourself a big hug and find a mirror in which to blow yourself a kiss!

And, remember what Al Franken’s character, Stuart Smalley, always said on Saturday Night Live:  “I’m good enough. I’m smart enough, and doggone it, people like me!

Wishing you love, laughter and magical kisses,


See Something, Say Something!

People are suffering.

All around us, there are loved ones, friends, co-workers, neighbors who are suffering in silence.

They don’t know how, can’t, or won’t ask for help.

If you ask them how they are, they will smile and tell you they are “fine,” or “great,” or “getting by.”

And, in your gut, you know something is off.

We have been trained to look out for unattended or suspicious packages or luggage and when we do, we know to “say something.”

I think we need to extend this to people.

It could be a life-saving gesture to simply respond to the statement, “I’m great,”

It could be a life-saving gesture to simply respond to the statement, “I’m great,” with a little love and compassion in your voice saying:

“Well, if things aren’t totally great or you need something, or if you want someone to talk to, please know I am here for you. I love you, I care about you and I’m your friend.”

And, if you know for sure they need help, take it to the next level and tell them what you see and make a stronger offer.

You don’t have to be an expert on their problem, but you can be an advocate for their well-being.

The world is experiencing massive stress right now, individually and collectively.

We need to be more “inter-dependent” and lean on each other for support.

Remember, if you see something, say something.  It could save a life.

Wishing you love, laughter, and magical kisses,


P.S. For those of you with a deep desire to manifest a soulmate…I want to remind you that your soulmate is ALSO seeking you! Come spend the weekend with me for my workshop at the beautiful spiritual retreat center, Omega Institute, in Rhinebeck New York August 25-27.  All the details are here!

Powerful Affirmations for Manifesting

If you want to amp up and enhance your manifesting powers, I suggest having a daily practice of affirmations. Your thoughts and words are literally declarations of who you think you are and how you perceive the world to be.

Every time you think a negative thought or you make a self-deprecating comment, you’re actually affirming those negativities as your personal truth, because your subconscious mind doesn’t know the difference between what you think or tell it or what has actually occurred.

Our subconscious minds accept our commands, what we’re thinking and saying. They accept it as reality.

The amazing Louise Hay really sums it up perfectly when she says, “No matter what the problem is, our experiences are just outer effects of inner thoughts.”

So, to put it another way:

Your beliefs are your blueprint for the world. If you’re having a negative thought such as, “I’m not good enough,” it’s not possible for you to experience happiness or pleasure because you are believing that you’re not good enough or that you’re not lovable enough or that you’re not beautiful, smart, strong enough. This is like giving yourself a life sentence. It gives you no room for any other possibility. Remember to NOT believe every thought that you have and to uplift and change your thoughts with positive affirmations.

I have affirmations on post it notes around my home and office and I look at them often.

Below is a sampling of some affirmations that you can customize for yourself:

  • I always enjoy being vibrant, healthy, energetic, and strong.
  • My life is abundant in every way.
  • I am enjoying living in my ocean view home in La Jolla or somewhere better.
  • I am so grateful and excited that $20,000 has landed in my lap; this or something better.
  • I am celebrating feeling sexy and gorgeous at my perfect body weight of 135.
  • I am attracting more _______ into my life with love, ease and gratitude.

And, each week my accountability partner, Peggy McColl, and I exchange our affirmations for the week.  I always begin my note to her with: “Dear Peggy, I’m so excited and grateful to share with you that this week I manifested…” and then I list these things as if they have already happened.

We’ve been doing this for years and it is an awesome process!

Wishing you love, laughter, and magical kisses,


P.S. For those of you with a deep desire to manifest a soulmate…I want to remind you that your soulmate is ALSO seeking you! Come spend the weekend with me for my workshop at the beautiful spiritual retreat center, Omega Institute, in Rhinebeck New York August 25-27.  All the details are here.

Easy Feng Shui for Fabulous Spring Manifesting

It’s Spring ….yay!

For all of us who love the longer, sunny days, Spring has finally arrived.

This weekend our friend, Shawne Mitchell, came for a visit.  She is an expert who teaches Soul Style – Aligning Your Lifestyle with Your Soul. Part of her amazing books and programs include the art and science of Feng Shui. We were talking about ways to enliven the power places in our homes for Spring in order to boost love, money and health.

Here are a few of the juicy tips she shared:

LOVE – Spring is a great time for new, sensual, luxurious bedding, and for new lingerie and toys.  Why? Because Spring activates our sex hormones! And, consider painting the bedroom a fresh new color.

MONEY – First, place a pot of red geraniums by your front door to really activate abundance! Then, stand in your front door looking into your home, locate the far left corner or the NW quadrant of your home – this is your money corner. Add things such as gold coins, a brass pot for a plant or flowers (fresh, never dried) or a sterling silver tray – these items anchor in the frequency of abundance and money. It’s also a good time to create a money vision board or put up a painting or photograph that represents wealth and place in this section of your home.

HEALTH – Green live plants add vitality to your home and your personal health. You can put them all over the home, but they are especially enlivening in the kitchen and dining room. Then, create a special, sacred space for stretching, yoga, and meditation (and be sure to buy a new yoga mat or meditation pillow) as this will allow you to focus your energy on wellness.  Additionally, be sure to scent this space with lavender to de-stress.  And, if you are currently ill, place photos of yourself from healthier times as a reminder of who you really are.

Spring, the time of rebirth, is an optimum opportunity to rethink, recreate and re-envision what we most desire. Utilizing Feng Shui will help create the frequency of manifestation for you.

Wishing you love, laughter and magical kisses,


Do This When He Needs Space

Today I am excited to share with you a very special guest blog from relationship expert, Carol Allen, who will explain, in great detail, how to deal with your guy when he needs “space.”   Her wisdom and guidance are sure to enlighten you!

When it comes to love between men and women, there’s a dynamic that is very painful for both genders…

When men get close, they tend to pull back after a point to “replenish” their male hormones. But being close actually increases women’s hormones, so we don’t need to ever do this.

The closer we are, the better we feel.

In fact, estrogen is the super connector hormone that makes women naturally want to connect with everyone.

While men can be awesome connectors, even the most heart-centered guy will need his “alone” or “guy” time.

So they’ll withdraw. (Which – if you ask any relationship coach or expert – is the #1 complaint women have about men!)

If there’s a conflict, this need to withdraw is even greater.

Why? Because men get more overwhelmed by their emotions when there’s drama, and have higher heart rate, higher blood pressure, and become unable to reason or communicate well (this isn’t my opinion – this has been proven in the most rigorous, long-term relationship study).

They essentially get “flooded” by their own neurology, and this reeeeeeeally makes a guy shut down and go cold.

And then – the dynamic I mentioned kicks in: women get upset.

When women get upset, we tend to respond in one of two ways – we become either needy or angry. (Turning into a Bambi or a Banshee.)

And guess what? These are the two biggest complaints that men have about women – that WE are too emotional!

And so they shut down even more…making us even more desperate or ticked off.

So what’s a girl to do?

How you navigate this “Gap” between you and a man (which will come up – even with the happiest of soulmates) determines if you’ll ever get to your “happily ever after” or not.

Here are my favorite key tips to not let a temporary disconnection lead to a permanent one!

1.  Don’t Freak Out…

Many studies have found women to be more verbally aggressive than men. If a man has already indicated he needs space, it’s imperative you not push your agenda or attack him now. But this will make even your soulmate will RUN for the nearest exits.

2.  Turn to Support…

The best remedy for disconnection is connection. But don’t look to your guy to provide it now. If they need space, it’s loving and healthy to let them have it. Call on friends and loved ones to fill the gap.

3.  Take Care of Your Body…

Eat right, get a good night’s sleep, and exercise. As simple as it sounds, making sure you get proper nutrition (avoid caffeine!), rest, and exercise can make a massive difference. There are holistic sleep aids (supplements and teas you can get at any health food store), and breathing techniques to calm your mind and restore your sanity.

4.  Be a Pleasure Pig… (I learned this term in Arielle’s recent book, Turn Your Mate Into Your Soulmate, and just love it!)

Do nice things for yourself that will have the added benefit of releasing “happy” hormones and neurotransmitters in your brain. Take a bath, get a massage, hug a cat. (Just don’t do all three at once…) Making yourself happy will act as a “love magnet” to your mate, taking the pressure off the situation, and allowing them the room to have their process. They’ll thank you for it later!

5.  Be Assertive, But Not Passive or Aggressive…

The hardest thing in times of disconnection is not knowing what’s happening, causing us to fear the worst. Thoughts like, “When will we be close again?” “Is he coming back?” can be just agonizing. It’s okay to let the other person know that you need some kind of reassurance or feedback, just be sure to do so in a respectful, loving way.

6.  Have Faith…

Feelings are contagious. Believe in your love, and your partner will, too. Do one of Arielle’s “Feelingizations” and visualize the positive reconnection you long for with the outcome you want, while conjuring the feeling of joy in your heart. This will make you believe it all the more, making it much more likely to happen.

If you follow these simple steps, soon your soulmate will no longer be distant, and your challenges will instead be a distant memory… Ahh.

If you could use some support and making sure you don’t let your emotions ruin your relationship, then check out Carol’s upcoming free call tomorrow night, Navigating the Gap – Be Happy Anyway & Lure Him Back. She’ll share more tips and tools for avoiding this painful, sometimes tragic dynamic… and a free ebook, “Return to YOURSELF” she wrote on how to climb out of the Gap if you’ve fallen down into one.

This is the number one challenge couples face – but you really do have the power to avoid this in the first place, or turn it all around and become close again. Carol can help.

Wishing you love, laughter, and magical kisses,



Learning to Love The Unlovable

Some people are easier to love than others.

It’s easy to love the people who love, support, and nurture you.

The ones that accept you for who you are.

The ones that will always be there for you.

And then there are the difficult ones.

The judgmental and sometimes downright mean ones.

The ones that drive you crazy and/or make you miserable or both!

I once heard Marianne Williamson describe it this way:

If you saw a small child fall down and skin their knee, you would quickly wrap your arms around them and give them comfort.  But when an adult is acting out and misbehaving or being cruel, we can’t see the wounds that are the source of their pain and actions.

Most of the time, whatever they are doing or saying, has little to do with you, they are acting out of old pain, disappointment, etc., and you have become the unfortunate victim of their history.

The challenge for me (and many of us) is that when these people are related to us, we need to find a way to stay open to loving and accepting them.

And most importantly, forgiving them.

Not an easy task.

One of my favorite processes in my spiritual tool kit, one that harnesses the power of forgiveness while being wonderfully healing, is called Ho’Oponopono.

It can be utilized not only for forgiveness, but all kinds of emotional healing and reconciliation.  I first learned about it from Joe Vitale and his book Zero Limits.

So, what is this miraculous thing, Ho’Oponopono?

It’s crazy easy and simple to do. You begin by taking full responsibility for what is going on.  Then, close your eyes and imagine that you and this difficult person are one and say to yourself:

I love you, please forgive me, I’m sorry, and thank you.

Ho’oponopono is based on the idea that anything that happens to you (or that you perceive) and the entire world where you live, is your own creation and thus, it is entirely your responsibility.

One hundred percent, no exceptions.

What has happened is your responsibility AND, it doesn’t mean it’s your fault – it just means that you are responsible for healing yourself in order to heal whatever or whoever it is that appears to you as a problem.

You simply repeat these four simple phases several times:

I love you, please forgive me, I’m sorry, and thank you.

I find that when I do this (sometimes I do it everyday), it really makes a difference.

Wishing you love, laughter and magical kisses,



What’s Your MISERY set point?

Lately I’ve been thinking a lot about the inevitable “aging and decaying process.”

I witness my own body and mind as I struggle with various aches, pains and wrinkles, as well as that of my friends and family.

There are days when I just hate it.  I cringe, complain, whine and moan….

In spite of knowing that I often do the best I can to offset the reality of time and gravity, I began to ask myself “why do I have so much resistance to what is so?”

I realize there no use in being miserable over things that I don’t have a lot of control over.

The last time I was in this deep of a quandary, I was in my mid-twenties.

I was severely depressed and having suicidal thoughts, I was on medication, and seeing a shrink.

In one of our sessions she said the most dreadful and life-changing thing to me: “I don’t think you are depressed enough.”


I couldn’t imagine being even more depressed than I already was.

Getting out of bed to go to work took every bit of effort I had.

Her words haunted me and as I thought about them I realized that I had to be willing to dive into the deepest, lowest depth of my depression and be willing to see what happened.

So I did.

And I discovered that not only could I survive being at the lowest possible point, allowing myself to go there gave me the motivation to fight my way out of it with everything I could muster.

I committed to figuring out how to heal myself and I realized that I needed to focus on how to be happy instead of focusing on how not to be depressed.

It didn’t happen overnight.

It actually took a few years.

But, what did change, was that I let go of the fantasy of finding the “magic bullet” fix.

I decided to begin to study the happy people that I knew (this was long before the internet or Google) and it worked.

I discovered how to take baby steps.

I learned to appreciate the moments, or hours, and eventually days and months when the depression lifted.

And slowly I transformed.

Whatever level of misery you are experiencing, the way out is through.

Feel it. Heal it. And most importantly focus on how you MOST want to feel – even if it means faking it until you make it.

Wishing you love, laughter and magical kisses,


CUPID is searching for you!

Is it your dream to find a soul mate?

A life-partner who will love, cherish and adore you?

This wonderful Universe of ours is set up to deliver the people and things we draw to us that are consistent with our personal belief system.  If you don’t believe you will ever find the ONE, then, guess what?  You get to be right …you probably won’t. If, however, you learn to believe that the ONE is not only out there, but is ALSO LOOKING FOR YOU, then true love can be yours.

When I was in my early forties, I decided to manifest my soulmate using everything I had ever learned about manifestation, psychology, spirituality, and the Law of Attraction.   And it worked. I met my husband, Brian, who has exceeded all of my desires and expectations. And now, 20 years later, he was and still is everything I ever wished for.

What if I told you that it’s not your job to know HOW your soul mate is going to appear? What if I told you it’s only your job to be ready, willing and open to love. Think about it this way: you really don’t know where air comes from, but you do believe that it’s always there for you, right?

The same is true for love.  It’s there for you.  It’s always been there for you.  You just need to remember the love that you are and once you do, the Universe will deliver to you the perfect soul mate.

The basic Law of Attraction states that you will attract to you those things that match your state of belief. Believing that your soul mate is out there is critical to the preparation of manifestation.

To manifest your soul mate, here are the ten top things to do and remember:

  • Be the loving person that you are. Find ways to express more love to everyone in your life.
  • Live in the knowingness that you are in a loving, committed relationship.
  • Live that truth every day as you savor the waiting for your beloved to arrive.
  • Create a “vision map” of your romantic vision and look at it daily.
  • Write a list of the most important qualities your soul mate will possess.
  • Heal your heart of any past hurts that will prevent you from magnetizing big love.
  • Clear out the clutter in your home and create space for your beloved (especially in your closets).
  • Create an altar in the relationship corner of your home.
  • Listen to your intuition to take action when opportunities present themselves.
  • Fall in love with yourself. Know that you are lovable.

Big love is possible for anyone of any age if you are willing to become a magnet for love.  Continue to live each day in the knowingness that you are in a loving, committed relationship as you savor the waiting for your beloved to arrive.

The “secret sauce” to manifesting everything and anything is to move from your head and into your heart and I have a bunch of new (and free) Feelingizations™ for you at – just click on the “free stuff” tab!

Wishing you love, laughter, and magical kisses,


My Valentine’s Gift to YOU!

Happy Valentines Day – whether you are single, with the love of your life, or somewhere in between, I am waving my magic wand over you and sending blessings for a lifetime of deep, heart-opening, soul-stirring love for you (today and every day).

When I first married my soulmate, Brian, I was pretty clueless about what it takes to make a marriage totally awesome and amazing. What I didn’t know was shocking (!) and I often hoped someone would give me the comprehensive guide for growing and sustaining our soulful connection.

So, I became a student of love, scouring the world for wisdom from Love Masters, determined to create a one-stop resource for deepening communication, navigating common conflicts that come up, and keeping passion sizzling when the ho-hum of life sets in.

Now you can benefit from my findings, because next week I’ll be streaming 25 relationship seminars with the world’s top love experts – at no charge!

Join me February 18 – 20 for The Art of Love Relationship Series and take your relationship from ho-hum to hotter than ever!

It’s totally FREE! Sign Up Here.

Wishing you love, laughter and magical kisses,


Manifesting Magic in 26 mins. (NEW no-cost video from me)

Here is a simple fact:

The Law of Attraction is ALWAYS working, whether you are focusing on it or not. The vibration of your thoughts and beliefs and feelings are constantly co-creating your reality with the Universe…

As a student of the Law of Attraction for more than 30 years, I still need to stay aware of my thoughts & beliefs and “manage” them.  It is easy to let our monkey mind take over and fill us with negative thoughts.

For the launch of my new coloring book, Inkspirations: Love By Design Coloring the Divine Path to Manifest Your SoulmateI created a free 26-minute video (bookmark it when you get there) on how to use the Law of Attraction for the best results and I want you to have access to it here.

On this site, you will see pages from the coloring book and then scroll down to the box to fill in your name to get free access.

Remember, the Universe has your back, and the Law of Attraction works, but not always on the timetable we are hoping for, so never give up!

Wishing you love, laughter, and magical kisses,


P.S. Today is the official publication date of my book… If you buy the book NOW, it will help me reach my goal of being #1 on the Amazon Adult Coloring book list. ☺