Is Self Love A Prerequisite To Soulmate Love?

Self-love seems to be the hot topic in the personal growth movement these days and when it comes to finding soulmate love, there are a lot of myths that until you love yourself first, you won’t be able to get anyone else to love you.  Can this really be true?

My experience has been that most women (at least in the Northern hemisphere) live with a negative, critical voice in their heads that is often filled with ugly, shaming thoughts, self-doubt, and brings with it feelings of never being “good enough.”

And, I began to wonder, do you really have to eliminate that persistent voice in order to find true love?

Do we really need to be 100% in love with ourselves to experience Big Love?

I don’t think so.

What is required is to learn how to “talk back” to that voice and create strategies to love yourself more and better.  This includes a big dose of self-awareness so that when the “voice surfaces” you kick its butt!

For instance, you walk past a mirror and immediately react by thinking “God, you look like a total piece of $#it today.” Immediately stop. Walk back to the mirror, give yourself a big smile and blow yourself a kiss and say something warm and loving to your reflection.  This is called self-care and self-soothing.  Over time, you can change your habitual negative thinking by in-putting loving and uplifting thoughts and beliefs about yourself. And, please, never forget that just because you have a thought does not make it true!

Now, as for soulmate love, one of the greatest, most awesome things about living your life with your soulmate, is that you begin to heal each other in unimaginable ways. When you spend time with someone who loves all of you – the good, the bad and the ugly – you begin to love yourself even more.

So many women are “waiting“ to actively seek their soulmate because they feel stuck in how they feel about themselves.  This is a very selfish thing to do.

Why?  Because, just as you desire to spend your life with your soulmate, they are also seeking you.  And if you are holed up at home, on the couch, watching the Kardashians or the Property Brothers, they can’t find you!

Now, while learning to love yourself a little bit more and more, it’s also important to know that once you do manifest the love of your life, you teach them how to treat you by the way they witness how you treat yourself.  I learned this from my husband Brian. Once we got married and began living together, I noticed how he always prioritized his health and well-being.  At first, I made up stories about how selfish he was because he wasn’t always flexible about the time he took to meditate and exercise.  When I finally asked him about it his response floored me.  He explained that by sticking to his personal care schedule, he was able to fill himself up so that the rest of the day he had more love and more energy to give to me and the rest of the world.

Wow.  What an insight that was for me.  I soon began to follow in his footsteps.

Self-love is important and please know that if your soul is calling for a soulmate, the voice in your head shouldn’t be a barrier to love.

Wishing you love, laughter and magical kisses,

Arielle

The Beauty of Your Cracks

This Chinese proverb speaks to the power of loving all of yourself, even the parts you perceive as damaged or broken:

An elderly Chinese woman had two large pots, each hung on the ends of a pole which she carried across her neck. One of the pots had a crack in it while the other pot was perfect and always delivered a full portion of water.

At the end of the long walks from the stream to the house, the cracked pot arrived only half full. For a full two years this went on daily, with the woman bringing home only one and a half pots of water.

Of course, the perfect pot was proud of its accomplishments. But the poor cracked pot was ashamed of its own imperfection, and miserable that it could only do half of what it had been made to do. After two years of what it perceived to be bitter failure, it spoke to the woman one day by the stream.

‘I am ashamed of myself because this crack in my side causes water to leak out all the way back to your house.’

The old woman smiled, ‘Did you notice that there are flowers on your side of the path, but not on the other pot’s side?’

‘That’s because I have always known about your flaw, so I planted flower seeds on your side of the path, and every day while we walk back, you water them.’ ‘For two years I have been able to pick these beautiful flowers to decorate the table. Without you being just the way you are, there would not be this beauty to grace the house.’

What parts of you having you been finding fault with? Take some time today to love 100% of you, exactly as you are, because YOU bring love, beauty and value to the world.

My new book Wabi Sabi Love is now available!  Finding your Soulmate is just the beginning.  Read how successful couples keep the soulmate fire burning.  Receive a priceless bonus bundle of advanced love attraction resources and techniques when you order your copy right here:   Wabi Sabi Love

Steps to Installing Love on the Human Computer

I am thrilled to share with you this very insightful piece on: Instructions for Installing Love on the Human Computer.

Tech Support: Yes, how can I help you?

Customer: Well, after much consideration, I’ve decided to install Love. Can you guide me through the process?

Tech Support: Yes. I can help you. Are you ready to proceed?

Customer: Well, I’m not very technical, but I think I’m ready. What do I do first?

Tech Support: The first step is to open your Heart. Have you located your Heart?

Customer: Yes, but there are several other programs running now. Is it okay to install Love while they are running?

Tech Support: What programs are running?

Customer: Let’s see, I have Past Hurt, Low Self-Esteem, Grudge and Resentment running right now.

Tech Support: No problem, Love will gradually erase Past Hurt from your current operating system. It may remain in your permanent memory but it will no longer disrupt other programs. Love will eventually override Low Self-Esteem with a module of its own called High Self-Esteem. However, you have to completely turn off Grudge and Resentment. Those programs prevent Love from being properly installed. Can you turn those off?

Customer: I don’t know how to. Can you tell me how?

Tech Support: With pleasure. Go to your start menu and invoke Forgiveness. Do this as many times as necessary until Grudge and Resentment have been completely erased.

Customer: Okay, done! Love has started installing itself. Is that normal?

Tech Support: Yes, but remember that you have only the base program. You need to begin connecting to other Hearts in order to get the upgrades.

Customer: Oops! I have an error message already. It says, “Error – Program not run on external components.” What should I do?

Tech Support: Don’t worry. It means that the Love program is set up to run on Internal Hearts, but has not yet been run on your Heart. In non-technical terms, it simply means you have to Love yourself before you can Love others.

Customer: So, what should I do?

Tech Support: Pull down Self-Acceptance; then click on the following files: Forgive-Self; Realize Your Worth; and Acknowledge your Limitations.

Customer: Okay, done.

Tech Support: Now, copy them to the “My Heart” directory. The system will overwrite any conflicting files and begin patching faulty programming. Also, you need to delete Verbose Self-Criticism from all directories and empty your Recycle Bin to make sure it is completely gone and never comes back.

Customer: Got it. Hey! My heart is filling up with new files. Smile is playing on my monitor and Peace and Contentment are copying themselves all over My Heart. Is this normal?

Tech Support: Sometimes. For others it takes awhile, but eventually everything gets it at the proper time. So Love is installed and running.

One more thing before we hang up.

Love is Freeware.

Be sure to give it and its various modules to everyone you meet. They will in turn share it with others and return some cool modules back to you.

Customer: Thank you, God.

CREATOR, aka, Tech Support: You’re Welcome, Anytime.

Special thanks to the unknown author who wrote this and to Monte and Amy, authors of The Soulmate Path for sending this beautiful piece of wisdom to me. Visit them at TheEnchantedWorld.com.

My new book Wabi Sabi Love is now available!  Finding your Soulmate is just the beginning.  Read how successful couples keep the soulmate fire burning.  Receive a priceless bonus bundle of advanced love attraction resources and techniques when you order your copy right here:   Wabi Sabi Love