You are bad, wrong, and broken

Yep.  That’s a message many of us are giving ourselves every day.

We have a negative voice in our head that is constantly judging, criticizing, shaming and blaming and “shoulding” on us.

I stopped fighting with this voice a long time ago.

Now when she speaks, I laugh at her and say: “Yes, you are right.  I am a total mess. A complete f$#k up. and you know, what? I love myself anyway.”

My friend, the late, great Wayne Dyer always said: “Don’t believe every thought that you have.”

He is 100% right.

Just because you have a thought, doesn’t make it so.

The negative voice(s) in your head will probably never totally disappear no matter how high you elevate your self-esteem, no matter how many personal growth workshops you take, or how much therapy you have – our core wounds never truly disappear 100%.

So, I suggest we just learn to have fun with this part of ourselves.

My sister, Debbie, would have told you to give this part of yourself a name – maybe call her “Nasty Nellie ” or “Critical Carl” or “Negative Nancy” and when they show up, laugh in their face, tell them they are wrong and then give yourself a big hug and find a mirror in which to blow yourself a kiss!

And, remember what Al Franken’s character, Stuart Smalley, always said on Saturday Night Live:  “I’m good enough. I’m smart enough, and doggone it, people like me!

Wishing you love, laughter and magical kisses,

Arielle

The Beauty of Your Cracks

This Chinese proverb speaks to the power of loving all of yourself, even the parts you perceive as damaged or broken:

An elderly Chinese woman had two large pots, each hung on the ends of a pole which she carried across her neck. One of the pots had a crack in it while the other pot was perfect and always delivered a full portion of water.

At the end of the long walks from the stream to the house, the cracked pot arrived only half full. For a full two years this went on daily, with the woman bringing home only one and a half pots of water.

Of course, the perfect pot was proud of its accomplishments. But the poor cracked pot was ashamed of its own imperfection, and miserable that it could only do half of what it had been made to do. After two years of what it perceived to be bitter failure, it spoke to the woman one day by the stream.

‘I am ashamed of myself because this crack in my side causes water to leak out all the way back to your house.’

The old woman smiled, ‘Did you notice that there are flowers on your side of the path, but not on the other pot’s side?’

‘That’s because I have always known about your flaw, so I planted flower seeds on your side of the path, and every day while we walk back, you water them.’ ‘For two years I have been able to pick these beautiful flowers to decorate the table. Without you being just the way you are, there would not be this beauty to grace the house.’

What parts of you having you been finding fault with? Take some time today to love 100% of you, exactly as you are, because YOU bring love, beauty and value to the world.

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