When Being Right Is SO Wrong!

I am a recovered “need to be right” person.

I grew up in an era and a home where “being right” was highly valued.

From my first days in school, I saw that raising your hand and having the “right” answer meant you were smart.

At home “being right” meant being loved for being smart.

I was brainwashed into believing that when I was “right” I was good enough to be loved.  Quite the ego boost!

Wow, was I wrong.

As I grew up and matured, I found out there is something so much more important than being “right.”

Art by www.sharronkatz.com
Art by www.sharronkatz.com

It’s being “loved.”

I discovered that when I was committed to being “right” it always meant making someone else “wrong.”

So many of us like to assume a rigid stance and “dig in our heels” to fight for our point of view, and prove how “right” we are (often about some pretty stupid stuff).

The cost of needing to be right is hurting, harassing or humiliating the ones we claim to love the most.

Over the years, I have finally learned to manage my mind and my mouth.

I’ve learned that most of the time it’s not necessary to “correct” anyone on what I think is right or wrong unless it’s really pertinent to someone’s well-being.

Now, when I am smart enough to “catch” myself, and I am about to blurt out something in order to be “right,” I slap some imaginary masking tape over my mouth and choose love instead.

Wishing you love, laughter and magical kisses,


Someone To Grow Old With

In the movie, Shall We Dance, starring Richard Gere, Jennifer Lopez and Susan Sarandon, there is a terrific scene where Sarandon ‘s character is sitting at a bar explaining to a stranger why being married is important.  She says,

“We need a witness to our lives.  There are billions of people on the planet…I mean, what does any one life really mean?  But in a marriage, you’re promising to care about everything – the good things, the bad things, the terrible things, the mundane things – all of it, all the time, every day.

You’re saying, “Your life will not go unnoticed because I will notice it.  Your life will not go un-witnessed because I will be your witness.”

For the 65% of Baby Boomers who are married, this ideal of marriage probably resonates. We DO want someone to share ourselves with and to eventually grow old with.  Even for those Boomers who have divorced, most seek to remarry… to find a new lover, best friends, and partner for life.

But things are changing.

There is a disturbing trend happening today around marriage and commitment. One study shows that 39% of Americans say that marriage is becoming obsolete. It appears that marriage has lost its appeal for the younger generations, especially the Millennials (the 18-29-year-olds).  They are pro-parenthood but anti-marriage.

According to Pew Research Center, right now 61% of births to women 20-24 are out of wedlock while one in three births for women 25-29 are to unwed mothers.


According to Dr. Jennifer Roback Morse, president of the Ruth Institute for Marriage and Family:

“Women don’t think men are necessary.  Therefore, they are unwilling to go to the effort required to be in a relationship with a man.”

Clearly these are women who have not experienced the beauty and magic of a relationship that works.  A relationship where two people choose to share a life together and to make a commitment to work through all the ups and downs, good days and bad days.

What will it take to convince the younger generation that marriage isn’t obsolete? I think they need to hear from those who are happily married all the reasons why they find marriage valuable.  Role models are needed and necessary, and clearly at this point in time, missing….

We’ve become a disposable society, not just with our trash, but also with the people in our lives.  If a relationship becomes difficult we declare, “this isn’t working for me” and move on.  We treat our cars better than people.  At least with our cars we know and expect that they need regular maintenance – the oil needs changing, the tires rotating and brakes need replacing.  And yet, even with the people closest to us, so many of us seem unwilling to put in a little time, energy and effort into working through our issues.

I believe a big part of this problem is that we aren’t born with the innate knowledge on how to make a relationship work and our partners don’t come with an “owner’s manual.”

Here’s the bottom line….we’re all going to get old someday.

We can do it alone or we can make the effort to manifest a soulmate and then nurture them and have a best friend to share our golden years with.  Even if you haven’t met “the one” yet, it’s never too early to learn the needed skills so that you can experience Big Love.

As that commercial says, this is an experience that is “priceless.”

Wishing you love, laughter and magical kisses,


P.S. The good news is that all the tools and tips we need to create an extraordinary, deep, loving, juicy relationship ALREADY EXISTS!

I spent the last six months researching and interviewing the top love and relationship experts on the planet for my Art of Love Series, which recently concluded.  These powerful love luminaries included John Gray, don Miguel Ruiz, Alison Armstrong, Neale Donald Walsch, Jack Canfield, Marianne Williamson, Harville Hendrix, Dr. Helen Fisher, Katherine Woodward Thomas, Gay & Katie Hendricks, Jean Houston and more.

If you didn’t have a chance to tune in for this, don’t despair.  You can own the entire series for a special 50% off price ($97 or four payments of $25) that is in effect until Midnight pacific time on March 7th.  Click here for all the details

Monkey Mind Management 101

We’ve all been there…..the days when we spiral down convinced that life just isn’t going our way… that we are undeserving of love, or the new job, or the thing we are most wishing for.

Our mind goes into overdrive, some would call it a negative feedback loop, and we keep replaying the negativity over and over again, convinced our mind is telling us the truth.
BUT….just because you have a thought does not mean it’s true!

It’s up to us to begin to manage our thoughts and emotions and there are ways to do this but it requires a little time and attention.

When you find yourself having negative thoughts, try these techniques:

1)    Stop what you are doing and acknowledge to yourself what you are thinking…internally (or out loud) say “cancel-cancel.”

2)    Then take time to do a feelingization (go to www.soulmatesecret.com and scroll down to the Love Magnet video) to move from your monkey mind to your heart and begin to feel love, appreciation and gratitude.  Remember, you attract MORE of what you are grateful for!

3)    Now create a positive affirmation that FEELS GOOD IN YOUR BODY.  Statements such as: I am a kind and loving being or I am grateful for all the love in my life right now.  Whatever statement feels most natural to you.  Write these on post-it notes and place where you can look at them daily.

I want to suggest that those of you who truly, deeply desire a soulmate that you begin to let go of your doubts of what is possible for you…..remember that the word “impossible” is really “I’m possible.”

One of my favorite quotes in Wayne Dyers book, WISHES FULFILLED, is from the great teacher, Neville, who said “Make your future dream a present fact by assuming the feeling of the wish fulfilled.”

I strongly encourage you to write this down and look at it daily. You deserve love and the one you are seeking is ALSO seeking you.

Wishing you love, laughter and magical kisses,

P.S. Manifesting the soulmate is the first step, learning how to keep and grow the LOVE is step two – get ready now with The Art of Love Relationship Series (no cost to participate). Love luminaries such as John Gray, don Miguel Ruiz, Alison Armstrong, Neale Donald Walsch, Jack Canfield, Marianne Williamson, Harville Hendrix, Dr. Helen Fisher, Katherine Woodward Thomas, Gay & Katie Hendricks, Craig Hamilton, Claire Zammit, Debbie Ford, Jean Houston and more show you how.
The Art of Love Relationship Series <== Join The Love Fest!

Can You Use The Law of Attraction To Attract Your Ex?

One of the most frequently asked requests I get is from people who want to know if they can use the Law of Attraction to make someone fall in love with them or to win back an Ex.

Would that work?

If you are a master at Law of Attraction, very possibly….however, I would caution you not to do this. Why? Karma baby!  The Law of Attraction is very powerful but you don’t want to use it as a form of black magic, or as a way to control, dominate, or manipulate anyone. And, it may not get you what you want in the long run.

Just because you think and feel someone is the “one” for you, that doesn’t make it so.  If it isn’t happening organically, or the circumstances are not right for them (they are already in a relationship, or they are choosing not to be with you) I suggest you focus your attention on attracting someone who is open, willing available to BE with you.

Here’s how to use the desire you are feeling towards the unavailable one:

Ask yourself this: What is it I am really wanting to feel and experience with this person?

Right now you are assuming that “having” this person is your only path to these feelings and experiences but reality is showing you that this is not true.

You don’t need to understand why you can’t have the person, but you do need to understand that the things you desire to feel and experience can be yours when you are willing to let go of what doesn’t serve you.

I know how painful it can be when you are yearning for someone who isn’t yearning for you.

Many years ago I was in a difficult relationship where I was constantly trying to make things work and they never did.  One day my friend said something to me that shocked me into reality.

“Trying to get “John” to love you is like asking a man with no arms to hold you.”

I instantly realized she was right.

It wasn’t even his fault.

He just didn’t have the capacity to love me.

Had I tried to use the Law of Attraction to keep him, I would have ended up miserable.

If you find yourself in this circumstance, take the time to uncover what you most want to feel and experience with a soulmate and then follow The Soulmate Secret (http://tinyurl.com/6tjvw8p) steps to love and make it happen.

My new book Wabi Sabi Love is now available!  Finding your Soulmate is just the beginning.  Read how successful couples keep the soulmate fire burning.  Receive a priceless bonus bundle of advanced love attraction resources and techniques when you order your copy right here:   Wabi Sabi Love

Arielle Recommends: This is Not The Story You Think it Is

This Is Not the Story You Think It Is: A Season of Unlikely Happiness

Everyone in the world should read this book.

Why? Because it’s about relationships.

It’s about communication.

It’s about finding your own bliss.

This book is fabulous.

Laura Munson’s noble quest to become the source of her own happiness will take you by the hand and heart as it guides you through the steps to living a life without suffering. Her story pulls back the curtain on the only magic we ever need to know: how to make the shift from fear to love. Buy it today at:

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Do You Believe in Fated Love?

If you’ve read my book, “The Soulmate Secret” you may remember that right after I met Brian I had my Vedic astrologer look at both of our charts. He said that our relationship is “the most fated he’d ever seen,” and he predicted we would get married. Eventually he even selected our wedding dates. (We had three weddings!)

In case you were wondering, what the heck is Vedic astrology? It’s the ancient system of astrology from India and it’s AMAZING for looking at relationships and compatibility. In fact, it’s still used by the majority of the Hindu population to arrange marriages.

They do what I did, call their astrologer to see if a marriage candidate is a good “match” or not. For years I’ve been consulting a friend of mine, Carol Allen. She’s both a Vedic astrologer and a relationship coach. She combines the best “out of this world” advice with the most cutting-edge “real world” advice in a great newsletter you can sign up for at the attached link.

If you’re thinking to yourself, “astrology is silly…” you haven’t seen Vedic astrology. Her newsletter is 90% relationship advice (because even Carol will tell you, it’s more important what you DO in love, than what the stars are doing), and I highly recommend it.

Carol offers an amazing compatibility report called, “The Right Man Report” that will to tell you if your relationships are “fated” and a good match, and what to do if they’re not…the report is only $19.97 (and it¹s 100% money-back guaranteed). You deserve all the support and help you can get on your journey to find and keep lasting love, and Carol can help.

Check it out by visiting CAROL ALLEN

Want to try a Magical Manifesting Tool?  Click Here for the Love Mandala and magnetize yourself to Love: Send My Mandala

My new book Wabi Sabi Love is now available!  Finding your Soulmate is just the beginning.  Read how successful couples keep the soulmate fire burning.  Receive a priceless bonus bundle of advanced love attraction resources and techniques when you order your copy right here:   Wabi Sabi Love