You are bad, wrong, and broken

Yep.  That’s a message many of us are giving ourselves every day.

We have a negative voice in our head that is constantly judging, criticizing, shaming and blaming and “shoulding” on us.

I stopped fighting with this voice a long time ago.

Now when she speaks, I laugh at her and say: “Yes, you are right.  I am a total mess. A complete f$#k up. and you know, what? I love myself anyway.”

My friend, the late, great Wayne Dyer always said: “Don’t believe every thought that you have.”

He is 100% right.

Just because you have a thought, doesn’t make it so.

The negative voice(s) in your head will probably never totally disappear no matter how high you elevate your self-esteem, no matter how many personal growth workshops you take, or how much therapy you have – our core wounds never truly disappear 100%.

So, I suggest we just learn to have fun with this part of ourselves.

My sister, Debbie, would have told you to give this part of yourself a name – maybe call her “Nasty Nellie ” or “Critical Carl” or “Negative Nancy” and when they show up, laugh in their face, tell them they are wrong and then give yourself a big hug and find a mirror in which to blow yourself a kiss!

And, remember what Al Franken’s character, Stuart Smalley, always said on Saturday Night Live:  “I’m good enough. I’m smart enough, and doggone it, people like me!

Wishing you love, laughter and magical kisses,

Arielle

Releasing Negativity

We’ve all been there…..the days when we spiral down convinced that life just isn’t going our way… that we are undeserving of love, or the new job, or the thing we are most wishing for.

imagesOur mind goes into overdrive, some would call it a negative feedback loop, and we keep replaying the negativity over and over again, convinced our mind is telling us the truth.

BUT….just because you have a thought does not mean it’s true!

It’s up to us to begin to manage our thoughts and emotions and there are ways to do this but it requires a little time and attention.

When you find yourself having negative thoughts, try these techniques:

1)  Stop what you are doing and acknowledge to yourself what you are thinking…internally (or out loud) say “cancel-cancel.”

2)  Then take time to do a feelingization (go to www.soulmatesecret.com and scroll down to the Love Magnet video) to move from your monkey mind to your heart and begin to feel love, appreciation and gratitude.  Remember, you attract MORE of what you are grateful for!

3)  Now create a positive affirmation that FEELS GOOD IN YOUR BODY.  Statements such as: I am a kind and loving being or I am grateful for all the love in my life right now.  Whatever statement feels most natural to you.  Write these on post-it notes and place where you can look at them daily.

I want to suggest that those of you who truly, deeply desire a soulmate (or a new career or whatever) that you begin to let go of your doubts of what is possible for you…..remember that the word “impossible” is really “I’m possible.”

One of my favorite quotes in Wayne Dyer’s book, WISHES FULFILLED, is from the great teacher, Neville, who said “Make your future dream a present fact by assuming the feeling of the wish fulfilled.”

I strongly encourage you to write this down and look at it daily. You deserve love and the one you are seeking is ALSO seeking you.

Wishing you love, laughter and magical kisses,

Arielle