Do This When He Needs Space

Today I am excited to share with you a very special guest blog from relationship expert, Carol Allen, who will explain, in great detail, how to deal with your guy when he needs “space.”   Her wisdom and guidance are sure to enlighten you!

When it comes to love between men and women, there’s a dynamic that is very painful for both genders…

When men get close, they tend to pull back after a point to “replenish” their male hormones. But being close actually increases women’s hormones, so we don’t need to ever do this.

The closer we are, the better we feel.

In fact, estrogen is the super connector hormone that makes women naturally want to connect with everyone.

While men can be awesome connectors, even the most heart-centered guy will need his “alone” or “guy” time.

So they’ll withdraw. (Which – if you ask any relationship coach or expert – is the #1 complaint women have about men!)

If there’s a conflict, this need to withdraw is even greater.

Why? Because men get more overwhelmed by their emotions when there’s drama, and have higher heart rate, higher blood pressure, and become unable to reason or communicate well (this isn’t my opinion – this has been proven in the most rigorous, long-term relationship study).

They essentially get “flooded” by their own neurology, and this reeeeeeeally makes a guy shut down and go cold.

And then – the dynamic I mentioned kicks in: women get upset.

When women get upset, we tend to respond in one of two ways – we become either needy or angry. (Turning into a Bambi or a Banshee.)

And guess what? These are the two biggest complaints that men have about women – that WE are too emotional!

And so they shut down even more…making us even more desperate or ticked off.

So what’s a girl to do?

How you navigate this “Gap” between you and a man (which will come up – even with the happiest of soulmates) determines if you’ll ever get to your “happily ever after” or not.

Here are my favorite key tips to not let a temporary disconnection lead to a permanent one!

1.  Don’t Freak Out…

Many studies have found women to be more verbally aggressive than men. If a man has already indicated he needs space, it’s imperative you not push your agenda or attack him now. But this will make even your soulmate will RUN for the nearest exits.

2.  Turn to Support…

The best remedy for disconnection is connection. But don’t look to your guy to provide it now. If they need space, it’s loving and healthy to let them have it. Call on friends and loved ones to fill the gap.

3.  Take Care of Your Body…

Eat right, get a good night’s sleep, and exercise. As simple as it sounds, making sure you get proper nutrition (avoid caffeine!), rest, and exercise can make a massive difference. There are holistic sleep aids (supplements and teas you can get at any health food store), and breathing techniques to calm your mind and restore your sanity.

4.  Be a Pleasure Pig… (I learned this term in Arielle’s recent book, Turn Your Mate Into Your Soulmate, and just love it!)

Do nice things for yourself that will have the added benefit of releasing “happy” hormones and neurotransmitters in your brain. Take a bath, get a massage, hug a cat. (Just don’t do all three at once…) Making yourself happy will act as a “love magnet” to your mate, taking the pressure off the situation, and allowing them the room to have their process. They’ll thank you for it later!

5.  Be Assertive, But Not Passive or Aggressive…

The hardest thing in times of disconnection is not knowing what’s happening, causing us to fear the worst. Thoughts like, “When will we be close again?” “Is he coming back?” can be just agonizing. It’s okay to let the other person know that you need some kind of reassurance or feedback, just be sure to do so in a respectful, loving way.

6.  Have Faith…

Feelings are contagious. Believe in your love, and your partner will, too. Do one of Arielle’s “Feelingizations” and visualize the positive reconnection you long for with the outcome you want, while conjuring the feeling of joy in your heart. This will make you believe it all the more, making it much more likely to happen.

If you follow these simple steps, soon your soulmate will no longer be distant, and your challenges will instead be a distant memory… Ahh.

If you could use some support and making sure you don’t let your emotions ruin your relationship, then check out Carol’s upcoming free call tomorrow night, Navigating the Gap – Be Happy Anyway & Lure Him Back. She’ll share more tips and tools for avoiding this painful, sometimes tragic dynamic… and a free ebook, “Return to YOURSELF” she wrote on how to climb out of the Gap if you’ve fallen down into one.

This is the number one challenge couples face – but you really do have the power to avoid this in the first place, or turn it all around and become close again. Carol can help.

Wishing you love, laughter, and magical kisses,

Arielle

 

Possible Love Turbulence Coming

I was talking to my dear friend Carol Allen, Vedic astrologer extraordinaire, the other day and she shared with me about upcoming planetary conditions that will be affecting a lot of love lives…. I invited her to write this guest blog to shed some light on what to expect:

carol_closeup_400Celestial Storms Ahead – What To Do…

Have you ever been excited to know what astrology can tell you, but scared at the same time?

Your chart might say that guy you like is all wrong for you…

Or that this isn’t your year to find love…

Or that trouble is headed your way…

Who wants to hear that? But it’s exactly for that very reason you SHOULD consult the stars.

It can be incredibly helpful to know!

You like knowing when it’s going to rain so you can bring an umbrella.

You get medical tests to find out as early as possible if something is wrong, so you can FIX it and avoid MUCH BIGGER problems later.

Astrology works like that.

Which is why I feel I should warn you about what’s going on this month, and into September…

TOUGH “CELESTIAL MOJO” IN AUGUST AND SEPTEMBER…

In the next month a stressful “celestial storm,” and all of our patience and goodwill, will be tested – both at the personal level, and on the world stage…

The most difficult indicators (the planets Mars and Saturn, and the “nodes of the Moon” called Rahu and Ketu – eclipse points that bring incredible impact) are all activating one another to their highest degree, in dramatic, intense signs, starting this week and lasting into mid-September, causing incredible stress and tension.

Not only that, but at the end of the month Mercury, the planet of communication, goes retrograde.

Then on September 1st, the Sun will be partially eclipsed in the sign of Leo… followed by a lunar eclipse a couple of weeks later, making us all extra sensitive.

As if that weren’t enough, the planet of love, grace, and diplomacy – Venus – goes into its weakest sign (Virgo) on the 24th of August where it stays until September 19th, making it hard for many of us to face the strain with our best behavior.

WITH EVERY STORM COMES A GIFT  

So, should we all draw the shades and hide under the covers for the next few weeks?

Of course not… but we FOR SURE need to be more loving and patient with ourselves and everyone else…

Each of us will personally be affected differently – some more than others.

These combinations – especially all happening at once – can be very rough on our relationships, and make it a difficult time to meet someone new.

This is when misunderstandings abound, patience runs thin, and tempers flare.

The good news? This is a powerful time to realize what needs to be changed or healed in our lives and hearts (as our “weak links” become more pronounced, giving us greater insight).

And this is a perfect time to REALLY see what you need to know about yourself and others, and get clarity about your love life. (This is when everyone’s mask comes off, so you get to see who they REALLY are.)

And astrology can help!

You see, we all come “preloaded at the factory” with weaknesses and strengths in our “capacity” to love – and knowing what you most need to feel your best, can help you navigate challenging times (and people!) with much less drama, and far more joy.

Amazingly, the ancient texts of Vedic astrology reveal simple techniques to uncover just this – strengths and weaknesses in LOVE CAPACITY…

If you’d like to know JUST what you need to do to feel your best at all times (even during a stressful “stellar stack up”), or just what you need to know about the “special someone” you’ve been seeing or thinking about, check out a report (The “Chart Your Heart” or “Chart HIS Heart” report) that can tell you what you need to know…

Is he too independent, angry, sensitive, workaholic, unconventional for a full relationship, or should you give it more time?

Are you accepting yourself and building yourself up to be your best, or do you keep thinking you should be someone else (someone stronger, more easy-going, and more fun than you)?

The intensity of the next few weeks could bring us all “make or break” moments… and this report can help you navigate them with as much awareness and ease as possible…

Of course, if you find you’re never your best self with someone (and neither are they) in spite of your strong feelings or attachment to them, the ancient techniques of Vedic astrology when it comes to relationship compatibility are astonishing… going WAY beyond whether or not you’ll “like” each other, but actually revealing if you can FEEL good together, and energetically bring forward each other’s best…

This is the perfect time to discover this as well!

 

Wishing you love, laughter and magical kisses,

Arielle

 

P.S. LAST CHANCE this year to spend the weekend with me….If your heart’s desire is to manifest the love of your life, and you are willing to dedicate your time, attention and intention to making it happen, then I invite you to join me August 19-21 at the beautiful Omega Institute to discover how to quickly and easily make it happen! Special powerful rituals will be done.

Are You In A Season of Love Or Loneliness? What To Do…

I have always found Vedic Astrology to be a useful tool in understanding how the planets are impacting my life and helpful in making decisions.  More often than not, it provides a good explanation from what I am intuitively feeling about how things are going.  One of my favorite astrologers is my dear friend and love expert, Carol Allen.  She recently sent out a newsletter about the impact that Saturn is currently having on love relationships (whether you are in one or seeking one!)  I invited her to share her wisdom with you today.  Please enjoy:

 

CarolAllenAs an astrologer, two kinds of clients seek my services: singles wanting to know exactly WHEN, WHERE and HOW they’ll meet their soulmate.

 

(And their name and phone number…)

 

And couples frustrated with their relationship, wondering how to make it better (or if they should run…).

 

Usually it’s not their fault – the singles are astrologically “blocked” from finding true love and the couples are feeling especially challenged – for the time being – by the most notorious of all planets, SATURN.

 

When Saturn takes “center stage” in your stars it creates a “lonely, loveless” phase, wrongly causing you to feel defective or even cursed…

 

If you’re thinking, “That’s how I feel! Doomed to suffer in love forever – like the Universe HATES me!”

 

Let me be so brazen as to speak on behalf of the Universe…

 

It doesn’t hate you – in fact, you’ll look back on this time as one of the most important, powerful of your life…

 

When you grow the most, and become the best partner you can, ensuring that when love DOES come, you’ll be truly ready – or take your current relationship to the “next level.”

 

There’s a bigger “plan” you just can’t see yet…

 

These are clues you’re in a “Cycle of Saturn”:

 

  1. You’re running in place financially and socially – or going into debt
  2. You’re unusually burdened by responsibilities and losses
  3. You’re feeling rejected by or separated from those you love most

 

Saturn teaches us we aren’t super-human; we need to ask for help and grow up and “correct” anything not working in our lives.

 

Giving up bad habits, improving our skills, and seeking out expert support are all things that make these cycles some of the most life-changing and helpful ever.

 

Turning to spiritual practices (like those in Arielle’s awesome books!) and self-care can actually make this a very meaningful, positive time.

 

Especially cultivating healthy spiritual detachment (this, too, shall pass!) and gratitude are key – and honoring yourself and what you need.

 

To determine if and when YOU are in a love-blocking “Cycle of Saturn” check out a personalized, 30-year report to tell you all of this and more, including:

  • How to make the most of the many different phases and versions of these cycles so you can prepare and avoid problems.
  • What to do in a particularly bad cycle of Saturn so that you don’t expose yourself to even MORE heartache and disappointment.
  • When Saturn is on your side, helping to foster more love, abundance, and good fortune.

You can find out in mere minutes when you order your custom, guaranteed “Cycle of Saturn” report right now at this link.

 

Don’t sit around wondering if there’s something wrong with you, and when you’ll FINALLY feel better about your life, your romantic prospects, or relationship…

 

Wishing you love, laughter and magical kisses,

 

Arielle

God’s Cosmic Joke On Men and Women…

I’m constantly amazed at how little men and women understand each other… and at how much needless pain and suffering that causes.

Our differences are downright comical – as though God is playing a cosmic joke on all of us.

Don’t believe me?

Here’s what I mean…

Did you know that the more upset a woman is, the more she needs to talk about it? But that the more upset a man is, the less he wants to? (Doesn’t that explain a lot?)

Did you know that when women feel stressed out, they will typically reach out to others? But when men feel stressed out they mostly want to be left alone?

Did you know that women communicate with an average of over 20,000 words and sounds a day, but men use only about 7,000? (Yup – he really is out of words at the end of the day…)

And did you know that if you look at the results of research studies from many branches of knowledge (psychology, sociology, anthropology, neuroscience), they all find that women’s core primary need is connection, while men’s is competition?

Do you see a little, er, problem with each of these examples?

Me, too…

Sadly, they leave many of us baffled. And vowing that we’d rather “call the whole thing off.”

Which is why it’s so helpful to understand what’s really going on, and that it’s not personal. But once we women get past the theories, philosophies and research results, it’s so helpful to know just what to do at critical moments when you’re dealing with a real, live man.

How should you behave when you first meet a guy?

Is it okay to approach, or should you wait to see if he’s interested?

What do you do on first dates? Second dates? And when is it okay to sleep with him?

And once you’re seeing him regularly, how can you be sure he’ll stick around if you want him to?

For answers to such questions, I like to go “straight to the horse’s mouth.”

That’s right – I like to learn from men.

My good friend, Carol Allen, (Vedic astrologer and relationship coach), agrees. Her favorite thing is learning about men from men, too. But not just any men. Carol likes finding out what men want from men who’ve made it their life’s mission to understand other men.

So she sat down with eight of the world’s leading male relationship experts and interviewed them at length about what men are thinking, and what attracts them and wows them in a woman (and what makes them want to commit!), for a program called, “What Men Want.”

What she learned from these amazing men (all of whom are authors, and many of whom have worked with thousands – even hundreds of thousands – of men!) forever changed her understanding of and appreciation for men.

You see, when you know how to give a man what he wants, you’ll get what you want.

And a soulmate relationship ensues.

Here is just a small sampling of the golden nuggets that come from these incredible men:

  • The men said they were THRILLED when a woman made the first move, and that many men DO NOT love the chase as they’ve been hurt or rejected a lot.
  • If you make men feel great about themselves, and that you truly care about them, they’ll WANT to commit. Being needy or clingy, bossy or pushy are the top reasons men withdraw.
  • Thousands of men surveyed said what they want MOST from us in bed is an emotional connection.
  • All of the experts insist that men want to fall in love as much as women do.
  • Despite what you’ve heard, the men swear we SHOULDN’T be dating multiple guys if we really like one as many men find this a turn off, and become intimidated even if they’re strong and confident.

Carol is one of my favorite relationship experts, and the men she’s gathered are among my favorite men! (Seriously, these guys are all great and they really know their stuff – Evan Marc Katz, Christian Carter, David Wygant, Jonathon Aslay, Alex Allman, Larry Michel, Adam Gilad, Dr. Ali Binazir… there’s even a bonus interview with Mat Boggs.)

Don’t ever be needlessly baffled or hurt by a man again. Learn the secrets only men can tell you, and be amazed at how much better life can be. Learn more or order this special, love-life saving program here.

Wishing you love, laughter, and magical kisses!

Arielle

What Men Want (Really!)

According to a recent “Atlantic Monthly” article, not only are there more singles than ever in history, but

Carol Allen

(according to this article) dating and mating have never been tougher especially for women.

I asked my friend and relationship expert, Carol Allen, for her thoughts on this topic and to share with you a remarkable new series she has created on “what men want.” Here’s what she has to say and a preview to what she has discovered on this topic:

In terms of romantic opportunities, it’s more of a “man’s world” than ever, but don’t panic!

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New Moon + Solar Eclipse + Magical Fire Ceremony = Big Love

I’ve learned that some days are more auspicious than others for attracting our heart’s desires. Fourteen years ago when I was actively manifesting my soulmate, Brian, I created a specific fire ceremony to release my “soulmate wish list” and I purposely did it on a Friday when there was also a New Moon.

I love Friday’s because that day belongs to Venus, Goddess of love and beauty. And, I love a New Moon because it’s the best time of the lunar cycle to begin all things “new.” There is a powerful New Moon in Cancer on Friday, July 1st, 2011, and it comes [during?] a Solar Eclipse.

On this day, when the Sun and the Moon are together in the sign of Cancer, it’s symbolic of the joining together of the masculine and feminine energies. According to Vedic astrologer and relationship expert, Carol Allen, this is a highly auspicious time to release your soulmate wish list and it’s a beautiful time to do spiritual practices because “we are more attuned to the more subtle energies, more intuitive and it’s a perfect time to manifest new love.”

On this special New Moon night, I will be leading a special fire ceremony during my Soulmate Secret workshop at Omega as part of my weekend workshop, (for more info Click Here! ) that is designed to bring forth healing as well as calling in the energies for manifesting a life-long partner.

If you have a safe place to make a small fire where you live (with a BBQ grill, a fire pit or some safe container) then you can follow this format and create your own New Moon ritual!  Imagine your intentions included with all those at Omega event in a powerful vortex of Big Love Attraction.  I hope you will join us.

You can do this ceremony by yourself but you will have more fun if you create a mini event yourself. Invite a few friends over and form a circle around the fire. One by one call in support from the Divine, God, Goddess, Source, Spirit, the Universe, the Archangels, Guardian Angels, etc.

Always start with a prayer, and end with a prayer that is coupled with gratitude that your prayers and intentions have already been heard and answered. (Please note that if you are doing this in a group no one is obligated to speak during a Fire Ceremony. Anyone can participate without stating what they are releasing or calling forth.)

The Fire Ceremony is done in three rounds.

Round 1: Begin by making a sacred offering to Mother Earth and to the higher power. This can be as simple as offering some sage to the fire, or some of the food that you ate for dinner that night. Each participant will say a silent prayer of gratitude for all the things they are most grateful and appreciative of in that moment.

Round Two: The focus in on  your prayer for your hearts to be healed of anything that stands in the way of manifesting your soulmate. Write this on a small, clean piece of paper and offer it to the fire. The prayer request will burn, turn to smoke and release into the ethers. This allows the energy of the past to move along to its highest spiritual progression path as we bring in the healing energies.

Round 3: Now is the time for the prayer for “new” love (or if you are already with your soulmate you can use this ceremony to create a new career or new results in some area of life). On a clean sheet of paper write down your desire and then offer it to the fire, knowing, feeling and trusting that the result you have asked for is already yours.

Many find it empowering to recite this prayer during or at the end of your ceremony:

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Do You Believe in Fated Love?

If you’ve read my book, “The Soulmate Secret” you may remember that right after I met Brian I had my Vedic astrologer look at both of our charts. He said that our relationship is “the most fated he’d ever seen,” and he predicted we would get married. Eventually he even selected our wedding dates. (We had three weddings!)

In case you were wondering, what the heck is Vedic astrology? It’s the ancient system of astrology from India and it’s AMAZING for looking at relationships and compatibility. In fact, it’s still used by the majority of the Hindu population to arrange marriages.

They do what I did, call their astrologer to see if a marriage candidate is a good “match” or not. For years I’ve been consulting a friend of mine, Carol Allen. She’s both a Vedic astrologer and a relationship coach. She combines the best “out of this world” advice with the most cutting-edge “real world” advice in a great newsletter you can sign up for at the attached link.

If you’re thinking to yourself, “astrology is silly…” you haven’t seen Vedic astrology. Her newsletter is 90% relationship advice (because even Carol will tell you, it’s more important what you DO in love, than what the stars are doing), and I highly recommend it.

Carol offers an amazing compatibility report called, “The Right Man Report” that will to tell you if your relationships are “fated” and a good match, and what to do if they’re not…the report is only $19.97 (and it¹s 100% money-back guaranteed). You deserve all the support and help you can get on your journey to find and keep lasting love, and Carol can help.

Check it out by visiting CAROL ALLEN

Want to try a Magical Manifesting Tool?  Click Here for the Love Mandala and magnetize yourself to Love: Send My Mandala

My new book Wabi Sabi Love is now available!  Finding your Soulmate is just the beginning.  Read how successful couples keep the soulmate fire burning.  Receive a priceless bonus bundle of advanced love attraction resources and techniques when you order your copy right here:   Wabi Sabi Love

The Difference Between Chemistry And A Soul Connection

I asked my dear friend and relationship expert, Carol Allen, to be my guestblogger this week. Please enjoy her remarkable insight and wisdom.

The Difference Between Chemistry And A Soul Connection

Have you ever had a man do that “come here/go away” stuff?

He’s calling and texting all the time, pushing to see you. He tells you he’s never met anyone like you…

He seems so into you. So you let your guard down, and you start to open up You have a great date, a deep conversation, or a hot make-out (or more ­ wink, wink) and suddenly it’s like a switch was thrown.

He stops calling, stops texting, isn’t asking you out again, or becomes distant.

Why do men do this? I’ll tell you exactly why.

He’s not feeling a certain kind of attraction for you – a spiritual attraction.

Spiritual attraction is not the same as “chemistry.”

It’s not about how much you made him laugh or how gorgeous you look in your new $200 shoes or form-fitting dress. It’s not about how hot that make-out was or wasn’t…

Spiritual attraction goes much deeper. It’s a knowing, a feeling of “rightness.” If a man’s not feeling that for you, then no amount of wit, stunning shoes, or sit-ups will change his mind.

And it doesn’t even matter how smoking hot your chemistry is (though that may make him torture you with his mixed messages longer ugh).

Spiritual attraction can’t be manufactured, but you CAN do a few things to help a man feel it for you.

– Access Your Heart Intelligence

Did you know your heart has its own brain? Science has proven you have emotional intelligence in your heart, and that your brain makes important emotional decisions only after getting input from your heart…

How connected you are to your heart’s intelligence, and how aligned your choices are with what your heart wants has everything to do with how happy and peaceful you are.

And this can be felt by everyone around you, whether you intend them to know or not, and determines how comfortable they are with you.

– Have A “Beginner’s Mind”

This idea from Zen Buddhism recommends that no matter how old you become or how much you think you “know” you should approach life as though you have no past, no baggage, and no expectations…

This allows you to interact with a man based on what he’s doing and how he’s being – and not because he’s doing something that reminds you of some other man from before, or because you’re afraid he could hurt you, or that he might upset you…

It allows you to open your heart and be vulnerable. (Men love this!)

– Relate From Your Higher Self

One of the most attractive things you can do is step outside yourself and observe your own behavior so you can see your impact on others – separate from your own needs and desires.

In many spiritual traditions this is called accessing your “higher self” or “witness.”

This allows you to know what you’re doing and why, so you¹re not blindly reacting to life, and can make the best possible choices.

And when a man tells you how you affect him you can make adjustments, and he’ll feel closer to you as a result. Ahh.

True intimacy comes both from what we do and who we are and how our energy connects with a man. And, believe it or not, this can all be seen in the stars. To get my very best “real-world” and “out of this world” insights, check out my FREE astrology and love newsletter (and learn how astrological compatibility ­ way beyond what sign you reveals “spiritual attraction” as well).

And may you never have a man do that “come here/go away” stuff again!

Check out Carol’s Right Man Report.

My new book Wabi Sabi Love is now available!  Finding your Soulmate is just the beginning.  Read how successful couples keep the soulmate fire burning.  Receive a priceless bonus bundle of advanced love attraction resources and techniques when you order your copy right here:   Wabi Sabi Love