The Difference Between Chemistry And A Soul Connection

I asked my dear friend and relationship expert, Carol Allen, to be my guestblogger this week. Please enjoy her remarkable insight and wisdom.

The Difference Between Chemistry And A Soul Connection

Have you ever had a man do that “come here/go away” stuff?

He’s calling and texting all the time, pushing to see you. He tells you he’s never met anyone like you…

He seems so into you. So you let your guard down, and you start to open up You have a great date, a deep conversation, or a hot make-out (or more ­ wink, wink) and suddenly it’s like a switch was thrown.

He stops calling, stops texting, isn’t asking you out again, or becomes distant.

Why do men do this? I’ll tell you exactly why.

He’s not feeling a certain kind of attraction for you – a spiritual attraction.

Spiritual attraction is not the same as “chemistry.”

It’s not about how much you made him laugh or how gorgeous you look in your new $200 shoes or form-fitting dress. It’s not about how hot that make-out was or wasn’t…

Spiritual attraction goes much deeper. It’s a knowing, a feeling of “rightness.” If a man’s not feeling that for you, then no amount of wit, stunning shoes, or sit-ups will change his mind.

And it doesn’t even matter how smoking hot your chemistry is (though that may make him torture you with his mixed messages longer ugh).

Spiritual attraction can’t be manufactured, but you CAN do a few things to help a man feel it for you.

– Access Your Heart Intelligence

Did you know your heart has its own brain? Science has proven you have emotional intelligence in your heart, and that your brain makes important emotional decisions only after getting input from your heart…

How connected you are to your heart’s intelligence, and how aligned your choices are with what your heart wants has everything to do with how happy and peaceful you are.

And this can be felt by everyone around you, whether you intend them to know or not, and determines how comfortable they are with you.

– Have A “Beginner’s Mind”

This idea from Zen Buddhism recommends that no matter how old you become or how much you think you “know” you should approach life as though you have no past, no baggage, and no expectations…

This allows you to interact with a man based on what he’s doing and how he’s being – and not because he’s doing something that reminds you of some other man from before, or because you’re afraid he could hurt you, or that he might upset you…

It allows you to open your heart and be vulnerable. (Men love this!)

– Relate From Your Higher Self

One of the most attractive things you can do is step outside yourself and observe your own behavior so you can see your impact on others – separate from your own needs and desires.

In many spiritual traditions this is called accessing your “higher self” or “witness.”

This allows you to know what you’re doing and why, so you¹re not blindly reacting to life, and can make the best possible choices.

And when a man tells you how you affect him you can make adjustments, and he’ll feel closer to you as a result. Ahh.

True intimacy comes both from what we do and who we are and how our energy connects with a man. And, believe it or not, this can all be seen in the stars. To get my very best “real-world” and “out of this world” insights, check out my FREE astrology and love newsletter (and learn how astrological compatibility ­ way beyond what sign you reveals “spiritual attraction” as well).

And may you never have a man do that “come here/go away” stuff again!

Check out Carol’s Right Man Report.

My new book Wabi Sabi Love is now available!  Finding your Soulmate is just the beginning.  Read how successful couples keep the soulmate fire burning.  Receive a priceless bonus bundle of advanced love attraction resources and techniques when you order your copy right here:   Wabi Sabi Love

Living As If: A Reminder

The period of time when you are waiting for your soulmate to make his or her presence known to you gives you an important opportunity for self-reflection.

Consider this: If your soulmate had the ability to see your life right now, would you (and they) be happy with what they were observing?

Begin to live your life today as if they are already here. This is the secret to activating the Law of Attraction!

Chances are, if you really knew your soulmate was on his or her way to you, you would hold yourself to a higher standard than you do now ­ so why wait for them to arrive to put these things in place?

Think not only about what you do on a given day but also the way that you represent yourself to others. Remember, you will attract someone who energetically “matches” the degree of esteem that you hold towards yourself.

If there are behaviors you’re engaged in that you wouldn’t want your future lover to see, stop them. This might mean giving up obsessing over your ex-lover or having casual sex with your neighbor.

“Living As If” can be fun, easy and simple. Before I met Brian I was buying him birthday cards, and anniversary cards and “just because I love you” cards. (I really like the cards at www.soulebrate.com) I also bought some tickets to concerts and plays that I wanted to attend.

Get creative! One woman I know just finished a “boudoir photo session” and is making an album of sensual photos to hand over to her soulmate when he walks through the door.

Remember, the process of attracting your soulmate is one of magnetism. When you make the choice to live as if your soulmate is already a part of your life, you send out an irresistible signal to the Universe that you are ready now. Not a signal that you’ll be ready someday ­ when you work less and your house is clean and you’ve lost five pounds!

Remember the famous line in the 1989 movie, Field of Dreams starring Kevin Costner? “If you build it, they will come.” Living as if is like flipping on a light switch inside your heart. This is the light your beloved will use to navigate his or her way to your door.

My new book Wabi Sabi Love is now available!  Finding your Soulmate is just the beginning.  Read how successful couples keep the soulmate fire burning.  Receive a priceless bonus bundle of advanced love attraction resources and techniques when you order your copy right here:   Wabi Sabi Love