Be A Love Philanthropist

One of my favorite lines from A Course In Miracles is:

 

The only thing that can be lacking in any situation is that which you are not giving.

 

I think of this often, especially when I am out of sorts….and then I quickly figure out that was is missing is: giving and receiving love.

 

I just simply forget to love myself, or I forget just how fortunate I am to have so much love in my life.

 

LOVE fivingThat’s when I remind myself that perhaps my most important reason for being is to be LOVE.

 

For many years, one of the goals I set out for myself was to be a philanthropist and in my own small way, I am.

 

A few years ago I learned the term  “Love Philanthropist” from my dear friend, Marci Shimoff, bestselling author of Happy For No Reason.

 

I realized that being a “Love Philanthropist” is even more important than writing checks to worthy causes. I am grateful that I can do both.

 

Just like we all have enough fresh air to breath and clean water to drink, there is more than enough love for all of us to give and receive.

 

I want to remind you (and me) to love yourself, especially during the potential stresses of the holiday season.  Make sure to create lots of “me time” and feed yourself well, take naps, get lots of quality sleep and make plans to be with like-minded, fun people.

 

Why?

 

Because when you are filled up, you have more love to share with the world.

 

Wishing you love, laughter and Magical kisses,

 

Arielle

When Law of Attraction Fails

Have you ever noticed that the Law of Attraction works for you in some areas of your life, but not all? People often ask me “If the Law of Attraction actually works, why doesn’t it work for all of us all of the time?”

There’s only one answer to that question:

limitless headIt is what is in our unconscious mind that has the power — all the stuff that you wish wasn’t there, that you want to get rid of, that you’re still pissed off about or ashamed of, all the beliefs you’re still limited by.

Our unconscious is holding 80% of our power to magnetize our life experiences to us. So if our conscious mind has only 20% of the power, this is the time to get to work on uncovering, owning and embracing our unconscious by truly understanding and transforming what’s no longer wanted or needed.

One fruitful place to start this exploration is to look at what my sister, Debbie Ford, called underlying commitments. These are commitments that exist at an unconscious level that, if not made conscious, will override any other desires we have. Our underlying commitments drive our thoughts, our beliefs and — most importantly — our choices. They are the unseen forces that shape our realities. They are responsible for the discrepancy between what we say we want and what we’re actually experiencing.

These underlying commitments are formed by unconscious decisions we’ve made in the past. In the dark recesses of your unconscious, for example, you may have decided that you can’t trust anyone and that it’s easier to be alone. So even though you want love and intimacy in your life, you always choose the wrong mate because your first commitment is to being by yourself. You become a magnet, but instead of attracting what you think you desire, you are a magnet for failure, for missed opportunities, for being less of a success than you strive for. You continually make choices that are in direct conflict with what you say you want and you find yourself baffled by the choices you are making. Sound familiar? Our underlying commitments become self-fulfilling prophecies. And our unconscious becomes the driver of our lives.

Transformational Action Step

We must expose our underlying commitments before we have the power to shift them.

  • Write down a goal or desire that you’ve been unable to attain.
  • Make a list of the actions you have taken or not taken in the past year that are in direct opposition to this goal.
  • Now take your list and imagine that these choices that have taken you away from your desired goal and not brought you any closer to it are an expression of a deeper commitment, your first commitment.
  • Close your eyes and ask yourself “What commitment are these choices in direct alignment with?” There you will discover your underlying commitment.When you reveal the underlying commitments that prevent you from achieving your goals, you are beginning to turn your life around. You can now replace your old commitments with new, powerful commitments that are in alignment with your highest vision for the future.
  • Write down a new commitment you can make this week that will move you toward the future you desire.

Take some time this week to do these steps and begin to make progress on unraveling your underlying commitments.

Wishing you love, laughter and Magical kisses,

Arielle

Creating Miracles

As we enter into the last month of the year, I thought this would be a great time to encourage you to create miracles in your life.

 

The word “miracle” comes from a Latin word meaning “something wonderful.”

 

The common definitions of miracles include:

 

“…a surprising and welcome event that is not explicable by natural or scientific laws and is therefore considered to be the work of a divine agency.”

 

And also

 

“…a highly improbable or extraordinary event, development, or accomplishment that brings very welcome consequences.”

 

imagesMy favorite definitions come from A Course in Miracles which states that a miracle is simply ” a shift in perception” and “miracles occur naturally as expressions of love.” It also says that there is “no order of difficulty in miracles.”

 

I accept and embrace all of these definitions and believe that we have an innate super-power to co-create miracles in our lives.

 

Here are the simple steps to conjure up a miracle:

 

Ask – Get clear about what your miracle is. Then close your eyes and with an open heart, connect to the Divine and say a prayer of gratitude thanking the Divine for delivering your miracle to you with effortless ease.

 

Believe and Expect – Believe, trust and expect that this miracle IS already yours. Put a smile on your face and exude joy to the world as you live in the knowingness that what you’ve asked for IS already yours.

 

Surrender – Let go of any fear, doubt, anxiety or need to know when the miracle is coming. Being detached from the “need” shows the Universe that you trust your miracle is on the way.

 

Wishing you love, laughter and MIRACLES,

Arielle

Gratitude, Turkey & Choosing Love

The great spiritual teacher, Ram Dass (“Be Here Now“) once famously
said:

 

“If you think you’re enlightened, go spend a week with your family.”

 

great magician stills 2 - lcw3For those of us who consider ourselves to be loving, conscious people on a spiritual path, we are sometimes confounded by just how easily being with our family can trigger negative emotions and old patterns.

 

Ok. Just breathe.

 

I’ve got good news.

 

This is pretty normal. You are not the only one.

 

Some of these DNA-related folks have the playbook and intuitively know how to push our buttons.

 

If you plan to spend Thanksgiving with relatives, here are a few things to remember:

 

Begin your day with a few minutes to write a gratitude list of all the people and things you are grateful for.

 

Set the intention for how you would like the day to go.

 

Share that intention with at least one other person who will be at the table and ask them to help you “hold the space” for a loving, fun, enjoyable event.

 

Also, make this person your ally, have a game plan of how to handle certain situations that always seem to come up. For instance, if cousin Billy and cousin Bob always get into a disagreement, be sure to seat them at opposite ends of the table.

 

Consider this: No one is showing up to the gathering with the intention to deliberately try to piss you (or anyone else) off.

 

As much as possible, use humor to deflect conflict.

 

Do a Google search for stupid, silly Thanksgiving jokes and write them down and have them handy.

 

Finally, remember that it’s always a good idea to avoid controversial topics at the dinner table. If you, or someone else, beings up a topic that is sure to get folks riled up, be the adult in the room who speaks up and suggest that in the spirit of fun and harmony, it’s time to change the subject, and then guide them into another subject.

 

Wishing you love, laughter and magical kisses,

Arielle

Monkey Mind Management 101

We’ve all been there…..the days when we spiral down, convinced that life just isn’t going our way… that we are undeserving of love, or the new job, or the thing we are most wishing for.

 

Our mind goes into overdrive, some would call it a negative feedback loop, and we keep replaying the negativity over and over again, convinced our mind is telling us the truth.

 

monkeyBUT….just because you have a thought does not mean it’s true!

 

It’s up to us to begin to manage our thoughts and emotions and there are ways to do this, but it requires a little time and attention.

 

When you find yourself having negative thoughts, try these techniques:

  • Stop what you are doing and acknowledge to yourself what you are thinking…internally (or out loud) say “cancel-cancel.”
  • Then take time to do a feelingization (go to http://www.arielleford.com/feelingizations/ and scroll down to the Love Magnet video) to move from your monkey mind to your heart and begin to feel love, appreciation and gratitude. Remember, you attract MORE of what you are grateful for!
  • Now create a positive affirmation that FEELS GOOD IN YOUR BODY. Statements such as: I am a kind and loving being or I am grateful for all the love in my life right now. Whatever statement feels most natural to you. Write these on post-it notes and place where you can look at them daily.

 

I want to suggest that those of you who truly, deeply desire BIG LOVE that you begin to let go of your doubts of what is possible for you…..remember that the word “impossible” is really “I’m possible.”

 

One of my favorite quotes in Wayne Dyer’s book, WISHES FULFILLED, is from the great teacher, Neville, who said “Make your future dream a present fact by assuming the feeling of the wish fulfilled.”

 

I strongly encourage you to write this down and look at it daily. You deserve love and the one you are seeking is ALSO seeking you.

 

Wishing you love, laughter and magical kisses,

Arielle

 

P.S. SINGLE WOMEN: With one “magic question,” you can know for sure when you’ve truly found the kind of guy who pays attention to you, appreciates you for exactly who you are, and makes you feel like the most cherished woman in the world. Get the answer to the “magic question”HERE!

Becoming Limitless…

Have you ever wanted to feel limitless?

 

I know I have.

 

I love to dream big lofty dreams, just for fun, and as an act of creativity…just to see what I can co-create with the Universe.

 

limitless head

One question I ask myself is this:

Who do I need to be and what do I need to do to feel an expansive sense of beingness?

 

How can I be in a state that allows me to stretch beyond the boundaries I have accepted previously and believe that more is possible?

 

And I always have to remind myself that most of the time, there are no real limits, only those I accept.

 

Sometimes I may imagine myself blending in to the endless expanse of stars and molecules and become aware of my oneness with all that is.

 

I know that when I blend my desires with spirit, and with universal energy, my dreams can be as big as I can imagine them.

 

I understand that our connection to divine infuses all of life, all matter, everything we know.

 

There is no reason to accept less than we know to be possible.

 

Today allow your spirit to stretch beyond your known boundaries, to become one with the creative power of the universe, and experience your biggest dreams and highest goals.

 

Go for it!

 

Wishing you love, laughter and magical kisses,

Arielle

The Art of Detachment (my sad story…)

When manifesting a dream or desire, there is a Universal Law as important and potent as the Law of Attraction. It’s called the Law of Detachment. When we are emotionally attached to “making” our desire happen we set ourselves up for frustration and disappointment and simultaneously keep ourselves at a vibration that can “push away” what we say we want most.

 

Now, being detached does not in any way mean that you’re giving up.

 

It just means that you hold your desire for your dream, and stay as neutral as possible, detached from the outcome, knowing that the Universe is always conspiring in your highest and best good.

 

I know this sounds nearly impossible and it isn’t always easy.

 

Today, I am writing about this to remind myself to remember to practice detachment, as it’s a big issue for me right now.

 

My next book Turn Your Mate Into Your Soulmate comes out at the end of the year and for the first time ever, I find myself VERY attached to getting massive book sales.

 

ariandGodIn the past I have worked hard to market my books but have never held high expectations for them….I just figured I would put out my best efforts and then see what happens. This book is very different for me. It’s a very personal book and it’s filled with highly personal stories about all the amazing love restoring skills I have learned over the years.

 

I know that anyone in a relationship (or anyone who PLANS to be in a relationship) will definitely learn a few things in this book that will substantially improve their connection to their beloved. Thus, my desire to get the book out there in a big way.

 

Here’s how I am dealing with my “attachment.”

 

  • Prayer – each time the thoughts bubble up, I close my eyes and thank the Divine for releasing me. I also call in my angels, guides and ancestors and ask them to restore me to sanity.
  • Tapping – I am tapping through the anxiety the attachment causes me with statements such as “I am happy and satisfied that my book is doing exactly what is in my highest and best good.”
  • Reading – I put myself into a heart-centered state of gratitude and then read through the long list of insanely positive reviews the book has gotten so far, reminding myself that are many levels, my job is done. I can now surrender to divine right order.

 

After 30 years of manifesting, I do know that all it takes to detach is to stay aware and trust that what I have asked for IS already mine. Happy Manifesting!

 

Wishing you love, laughter and magical kisses,

Arielle

 

P.S.  See my interview on Explorer Quest this week.  It’s part of Oprah’s BELIEF Series. Sign up for free at http://beliefexplorerquest.com.  Marianne Williamson, India Arie, Don Miguel Ruiz and Lisa Nichols are also featured.

Meet Us in Paradise – Big Sur, CA

One of our favorite places in the world (besides India, Italy, and Bali) is Esalen, a stunningly beautiful retreat center in Big Sur, CA.

EsalenSitting high above the Pacific Ocean, this lush paradise offers world-class workshops, delicious organic food, (grown on-site) and the most amazing massages. (They actually invented many innovative massage techniques including a 4-hand massage!) Esalen is also famous for the healing hot tubs that are perched on a cliff over the ocean.

If this sounds enticing, then come hang out with Brian and I at Esalen, the weekend of December 4 – 6.

For the first time ever, The Soulmate Secret weekend workshop will be presented there.

If you are single and don’t want to be, join me in the workshop.

And, if you’re already living life with your soulmate, then check out the other workshops offered that same weekend we are there and hangout with Brian.

He will be soaking up the beauty of the land and having deep-dish conversations with everyone he runs into.

In this experiential (and fun!) weekend, you learn how to:

  • Utilize proven rituals and processes to attract the soulmate of your dreams
  • Experience healing techniques to let go of past heartbreak and remove blocks to love
  • Clarify your needs and desires to manifest long-term romantic fulfillment
  • Open your heart and connect with the partnership energy of the divine
  • Prepare your body, mind, spirit, and home for the arrival of your perfect life partner

As you come to realize that “the one” is not only out there, but also is looking for you, then true love can be yours.  (And I will teach you how to have “love before first sight!”) Details here!

Wishing you love, laughter and magical kisses,

Arielle

I Was a Lousy Wife (a confession)

Today I am in my 17th year of an amazing, deeply loving, fulfilling marriage to my soulmate Brian… and I almost blew it!

 

Soon after we got married, I made a horrifying discovery: I had no clue how to be a great wife. I was an excellent manifestor, and I was great at being “the boss” of my business, but I had zero partnership skills.

 

bad wifeHere’s just one example: One day, several months after we got married, I walked into the house all excited and started talking a mile-a- minute to Brian…no hello, no kiss, just this:

 

“Hey babe, guess what? We’re having dinner tonight at Deepak and Rita Chopra’s house, we need to be there by 7pm, I haven’t a clue what I’m gonna wear but I have to jump into the tub right now.”

 

I fully expected Brian to say something like, “Hey that’s great, should be lots of fun to catch up with them.”

 

Instead I got this strange look from him, that I immediately felt in the pit of my stomach, so I said, “what’s wrong?”

 

And Brian said, “You didn’t ask me.”

 

“What do you mean? Don’t you want to have dinner with the Chopra’s?”

 

Well, it would have been nice if you had asked me first.”

 

“Why? I knew you would want to go.”

 

Because asking me is the polite and considerate thing to do.”

 

I was really baffled. If I “knew he would want to go, then WHY, WHY, WHY did I have to ask him first?”

 

As a first time bride at 44, I was used to having everything my way, all the time. It never occurred to me that Brian would want anything different from what I wanted. It never occurred to me that we wouldn’t always see things “eye to eye” because we were soulmates.

 

Weren’t we destined to easily and effortlessly live “happily ever after?”

 

It became obvious that I needed to discover new, better ways to listen, to communicate, to be considerate, and most importantly to become a team player.

 

I didn’t know what I didn’t know about making a relationship thrive and grow into a joyous and sacred union.

 

Brian was a natural at most of these things, and most of the time, he was very patient with me when communicating about what was and was not working for him. (And, honestly it took me a L O N G time learn how to be considerate and ask him before committing him to any and all activities.)

 

If only he had arrived with an “Owner’s Manual” that outlined the one-two-three steps to happy and fulfilling marriage.

 

Alas, that book never arrived.

 

Instead, I decided to become a student of love.

 

In my heart and soul I knew that Brian and I were meant to spend our life together and I also knew that I had to take personal responsibility for my role in the partnership. We went to workshops together, I read lots of books, and best of all, I spent more that 130 hours interviewing the world’s top love and relationship experts for Evolving Wisdom’s Art of Love Series that I co-created and hosted for several years – many of them top researchers and social scientists who virtually never do interviews such as these… and I’m blessed that many of them became friends, and spent hours answering my endless questions and forever changing my understanding of love and how to make it last.

 

The result of these years of study (and personally road testing the various techniques and strategies to a happy marriage), are that Brian and I just grow closer and closer, and I’ve got him convinced that I’m the most loving and attentive wife ever!

 

I was so thrilled at the changes in my own relationship (and the peace of mind and security they brought me as well), that I am now sharing the best of the best of my own “light bulb moments” and most effective tools for transformation in my new book:

 

Turn Your Mate Into Your Soulmate: A Practical Guide To Happily Ever After

(It will be published on my birthday, December 29th, by HarperOne.)

 

 

PLEASE KEEP READING, I have special gifts for you.

 

I am beyond excited about the upcoming release of this, my 10th book. I truly believe it’s my best work yet, and I know that the information in it provides myriad ways to create loving, long lasting, soulful relationships.

 

(And if you’re not in a relationship, reading his book will send a big message to the Universe that you are “living as if” and give you great new techniques and tools to use when you are in one.)

 

Turn Your Mate into Your Soulmate explores and reveals:

  • How to make your own grass greener, and save everyone tons of heartache and why changing partners may not be the answer and why re-envisioning the partner you have can be that path to happiness
  • What love really is and is not and how to stop being confused from now on
  • Why we yearn to be connected to another person (hint: you’re not needy or insecure – it’s healthy and almost universal to want that level of connection with another…)
  • Our soul and our sacred contracts around love
  • Why giving up perfectionism is the key to happiness (and so much easier for YOU!)
  • The purpose and benefits of marriage (science has proven it’s so much more than “just a piece of paper”)
  • Moving beyond ourselves to infuse our relationship with God/Spirit/devotion (no matter your beliefs or religion)
  • Breathing new life into old love by kick-starting the fun (you really can “get back that spark” – quickly and without embarrassing yourself)

 

“Arielle Ford is a priestess of love, bringing forth the highest wisdom and placing it down on earth where it belongs. She has lived the love drama, learned from the love drama, and succeeded at the love drama. She has a lot of information to deliver, and in this book she does so compassionately and wisely.”

~Marianne Williamson, author A Return To Love

 

I consider you, dear reader, one of my friends and I have a special offer for you:

 

When you pre-order the book, you will instantly receive a free bonus package that includes special gifts from resources I consider to be among the “best of the best”.

 

Five part Video series (instant access) featuring:

John Gray

“How Women Can Get Their Needs and Desires Met by Their Mate”

Dr. Pepper Schwartz

“How Sex Can Save Your Life”

Iyanla Van Zant

“The best way to apologize and how to forgive “

Gay & Katie Hendricks

“You’re Too Fat” (and other hard conversations to have)

Dr. Laura Berman

“How to Affair Proof Your Relationship”

 

Plus there are two great bonus audios (on sex and intimacy) and The Everything Book, an e-Book for you & your mate to fill out an exchange that shares juicy details of what you both most want!

 

Now here is the offer for YOU only (I’m not making this offer to anyone who is not on my newsletter list)

 

If you pre-order Turn Your Mate Into Your Soulmate online you will get instant access to all the bonuses – click here (www.matetosoulmate.com)

 

And will be on your way to take your relationship go from ho-hum to happy, happy to ecstatic, and ecstatic to EXALTED – for life.

 

Wishing you love, laughter and magical kisses,

Arielle

Are You Leaking Negative Energy and Turning Off Men?

Have you ever considered that the signals you send out (involuntarily) every day may be turning off the very men you’re living with or trying to attract?

 

Marni_HeadshotMy good friend and colleague, Marni Battista, calls this “negative energy.”

 

And it’s the #1 chemistry killing mistake that keeps men from asking you out, keeps men from committing to you, and for those of you in a relationship, keeps men from adoring you and treating you like a queen…his queen.

 

What are the signs that you’re leaking negative energy?

 

  • If you’re tired of being single, but struggle to attract a really great guy.
  • You’re in a relationship, but it has lost a little bit of that passion or intimate connection that it once had.
  • You feel helpless and frustrated because the men you date don’t want to commit.
  • You keep attracting and falling for guys who turn out to be emotionally unavailable or not into you … and when he is into you, he’s “not your type.”

 

A great example of where negative energy can come from is actually from the “masculine” energy you have to tap into to be a success at work, which can diminish the “feminine” energy that men are naturally drawn to and attracted to.

 

A few great tips on how to overcome this that Marni offers are:

 

  • “Receive” – let a man “do” things for you – and make sure to tap into your feminine and say “thank you”.
  • Give up the need to “be right” – look at how many times you need to be right.  Become adept at knowing sometimes it is better to be “smart” than to be right.
  • Make sure to communicate that you are active and not “busy” – a man who thinks you are too busy, will think you are too busy for him.

 

In Marni’s new book, Becoming Irresistible (which is FREE to you for the next few days), she leads you through her proven 3-step process and you will discover exactly how to get a great man to pursue you, adore you and commit to you for life.

 

Here’s a quick peek at of what Marni shares with you in her FREE book:

  • Stop making the #1 attraction-killing mistake all women make, so that you attract the men you want instead of the ones you can get.
  • Learn to trigger an undeniable magnetic attraction between you and any man so that you effortlessly attract ‘the one’ you desire.
  • Discover the secret quality that drives smart, successful men wild (that has nothing to do with SEX) so that you become the woman these men desire for a relationship.

 

I urge you to get this important book for FREE right now!

 

Wishing you love, laughter and magical kisses,

 

Arielle