Get the Most from Your Single Days

Today’s wisdom is from my dear friend and bestselling author of Calling In the One, Katherine Woodward Thomas who shares how to get the most out of your remaining days as a single!

If you’ve been without a partner for a long time now, living the single life (you know, sleeping in the middle of the bed, falling asleep with the TV on, taking up all the space on the counter of the bathroom), then I’m here to tell you, “Don’t despair!”

These single years can be an extraordinary time of growth, where you can come home to the center of yourself, connect more deeply with your own feelings, needs and desires, discover your own authentic voice, and reflect upon the impact your beliefs and assumptions have had on your past relationships. And do this in a way that supports you to evolve your consciousness to a healthier place from which to create your next relationship.

In short, you actually have the time and the space right now to identify and release your internal barriers to loving partnership, and to prepare yourself to co-create a relationship that reflects the highest possibility you hold of deeply nourishing, inspired, happy, healthy love!

The kinds of shifts that are possible in these precious times of solitude will, however, require much of you. For in order to dramatically transform your relationship patterns, you must be willing to see clearly how you yourself co-created the old ones, as well as take responsibility to begin showing up in completely new ways.

As a mature adult, and not simply a child in a grown-up body who is holding others hostage to your old wounds from childhood.

As a person who is willing to let go of your solo dance in service to becoming ready to be a part of a couple.

And being willing to take full responsibility for those things within yourself that you’ve been blaming others for.

Becoming ready for authentic, happy, healthy love isn’t always easy. But it is always well worth the effort on the other side.

While setting an intention to find love is a good thing, it is really just the beginning of the journey. A reference point for all that you will be focused on transforming in yourself as you become the woman or man you would need to be in order to create a great relationship – one that would represent the fulfillment of your deepest longings.

When you have the courage to say yes to the possibility of love, it will often mean facing things about yourself you’ve not been willing to really look at until now. Such as the part of you that may not actually want to be in a committed relationship. Or maybe the part of you that doesn’t actually want to risk being sexual again. Or the part of you that doesn’t want anyone else’s wants and needs to interfere with getting your own tended to.

Using your single time as a time to prepare for love, often means a radical departure from your old, automatic, and probably pretty comfortable ways of doing things!

I’m talking about those patterns and habits that may identify who you think you are, such as “I am fiercely independent and never ask anyone for help,” or “I’m such a loving person that I always take care of other people before myself.”

Everything you think about yourself is suddenly suspect.

Is it really your nature to be that independent? Or is it a defense against being disappointed again like you were when you were a child? A creative and compensatory response to no one really ever being there for you in the way you needed when you were young?

Is it really loving to self abandon constantly, and to source your value from pleasing other people? Or is it a destructive pattern that keeps you invisible and makes it nearly impossible for you to ever fully commit yourself to someone else because you don’t trust that your authentic self will ever be taken care of?

This time alone grants you the ability to consciously challenge these old ways of seeing yourself, and to begin identifying and practicing new ways of showing up in relationship to yourself and others that are most likely outside of who we’ve known yourself to be.

So, I encourage you to use this time wisely. Moving into a place of stillness for a while and getting into a deeper relationship with yourself can be the most vital and wonderful preparation for receiving a beloved into your life.

If more people took advantage of this time alone, there would be a lot more healthy and happy unions we could point to as role models for what we ourselves are committed to creating.

It all comes down to really doing the work to transform yourself from the inside out while you are still single. To recreate yourself anew, and to focus on becoming the best potential partner you have the capacity to be . . .

So that when you do call in your wonderful, made-for-you soulmate, you’ll actually be worthy of their devotion and their love.

I hope you enjoyed this.  A big thank you to Katherine for sharing this with us.

For those of you who want to experience her genius first hand, there is a no-cost teleseminar coming up. Register here.

Wishing you love, laughter and magical kisses,

Arielle

P.S. Katherine Woodward Thomas, MA, MFT is the national bestselling author of Calling in “The One.” She is a licensed psychotherapist and creator of the Calling in “The One” 7-week Interactive Online Course, which has supported many thousands of people around the globe in finding their soulmate. She is a creative and inspired transformative educator with over 20 years experience designing and facilitating leading-edge seminars that support the emergence of life-altering shifts in consciousness both in individuals and in groups. Register here.

 

The #1 predictor of relationship Success…

Today I wanted to share with you fascinating research that my friend and licensed relationship expert, Randy Bennett, recently brought to my attention.

It has to do with a remarkable “secret weapon” that researchers discovered can actually transform your relationship from a miserable, stale, boring, emotionally-starved desert into a lush garden full of fun, intimacy and passion.

Sound impossible?  Think again…enjoy!

Imagine the WORST argument you’ve ever had with a man.

You’re yelling, he’s yelling…you’re crying…he doesn’t even seem to care.

He retreats to the garage or turns on the TV, you don’t speak for days, and any look from either of you feels like a poison dart straight to the heart.

You may have thought, “We’re getting close to the end of what was once a promising, loving relationship.”

Instead of living in the love boat…your relationship feels more like it’s trapped in the “kill or be killed” hunger games.

How does that sound?  Familiar?

Every relationship has conflict… but how can a relationship possibly survive with this type of conflict?

Believe it or not it can, and I am going to show you how in this article.

These are skills every man and woman (single, dating, married or committed) should know

Why Fighting Can Actually be Good…

Now, if you’re like most people…you think fighting is bad…bordering-on-evil bad.

Well, that’s not necessarily the case.

Fighting is actually NOT the number one cause – or even a predictor – of relationship failure.

Not even close.  So next time you get into a committed relationship… don’t be afraid to get into a fight.

Actually, fighting can stimulate positive change in a relationship assuming there isn’t a mix of psychological warfare, back-stabbing and needless put-downs added to the fight.

Let me prove my point.

Researchers from the University of Washington were curious why some couples could fight and then within hours be right back in each other’s arms again, seemingly HAPPIER than before they fought, while other couples kept growing closer…to divorce court!

Going into the study, the researchers believed that the words “I’m sorry,” we’re the key to effective relationship repair.

But after analyzing more than 600 couples over a 14-year stretch, the researches were stunned to find out that they were wrong.

They found that, while almost all couples apologized, only a percentage of them effectively repaired the relationship after the argument.

There was something else going on…something the researchers NEVER expected.

What These Researches Found Left Them Stunned…

It wasn’t what the couple was actually saying or doing DURING or immediately after the fight itself…the key was in what the couple was doing the days, weeks, months and years before and after their fights.

After analyzing couples who stick it out, these researchers realized that for every negative event, the couple had at least 5 POSITIVE events.

That means for every negative event, there were 5 positive events.

That was their secret weapon.

We’re not talking big deals here like a weekend away to the tropics or a piece of jewelry or flowers every time there’s a big fight… just simple little things, such as…

  • A little kiss good morning…
  • A long hug and sign of affection when you return home.. 
  • A compliment about your appearance…
  • A love note…
  • A kind word…
  • A thoughtful gesture…

In other words, it’s the “little things” that actually make a HUGE difference.

What does this mean for you?  For a brand new relationship?

The little deposits you make into the love bank on a day-to-day basis overwhelm any withdrawals that are made when you have the periodic all-out-war type of fights.

That means… you want to make a lot of love deposits.

And that’s how those at-each-other’s-throat couples can seem like they’re on the verge of breaking up one day, and then appear to be deeply in love as if they are newly dating the next day-all because they’re using that secret weapon against all of the negativity.

How to Reclaim that Dating Spark in Your Relationship…

The take-away here is that you already hold the secret weapon for once again having a close, loving, emotionally-fulfilling connection with your man (OR a new relationship).

You just have to put that secret weapon to work, starting RIGHT NOW.

It doesn’t mean that you stop fighting – that’s completely unrealistic.

What it means is that the next time you DO get in a fight, keep in mind the concept of outweighing a handful of negatives with a barrel full of positives.

In fact, I challenge the couples I counsel to aim for the Rule of Six: for every negative interaction you have with your man, you have to override it with at least six positive interactions.

It’s like money in the love bank.

When the overwhelming majority of your interactions are positive ones, the smaller number of negative interactions isn’t powerful enough to take down your relationship.

Positive interactions build a relationship fortress, and they’re your secret weapon for creating emotional intimacy between you and your man.

And that will lay the groundwork for developing a deeply fulfilling, blissful relationship that will flourish for decades to come.

I wish you the best,

Randall E. Bennett, MA, LMFT, LCPC

P.S.  The Rule of Six is one of the simplest, but most effective methods that I teach, but there’s another, even more powerful one that I share in this video.

It has to do with a somewhat unusual way of talking to your man that connects to his “love frequency.” 

It’s shockingly simple and is something that ANY woman can do – it’s natural, it’s easy, and it’s actually fun.

And it’s the best skill to attract men to you, like bees to honey. And best of all, it works extremely quickly as I explain here.

Wishing you love, laughter and magical kisses,

Arielle

LOVE before First Sight!

If you believe that on some level we are all connected… that the “unified field” really does exist (and according to quantum physics it does), then great news – you are already connected to your soulmate on the cosmic level.

When I was manifesting my soulmate, I instinctively knew this and so every day I would take time to meditate and then I would “talk” to my soulmate. I didn’t know his name, or where he was, but I would share my day with him and always let him know that I was ready for him to arrive whenever the time was right for him. I believe that one of the reasons Brian and I “recognized” each other when we finally did meet on the physical plane is because I had already begun the relationship with him.

One of my students, Patricia Arroyo, a Ph.D. psychologist and certified coach, recently emailed me to share the fabulous news that ten months ago she manifested her soulmate and that “talking to her soulmate” was one of the Soulmate Secret tools she used that really supported her in the process. The “feelingizations” were a powerful daily reminder that she is the source of love and that by remembering and re-experiencing love she was able to dispel feelings of desperation and loneliness. She also shared with me that believing and knowing that her soulmate was also “looking for her” was a real eye-opener! (Patricia is available as a coach on how to manifest a soulmate so if you want some extra support. You can email her at drparroyo@nullicloud.com)

Remember, BIG LOVE is possible – you just need to commit to putting in a little time, energy, intention and attention on your love life.

Wishing you love, laughter and magical kisses,

Arielle

Got Faith?

Lately I’ve been thinking a lot about faith and trust… and asking myself, how much of itdo I really have? And, what does it take to have 100% faith and trust that my life is unfolding exactly as it should, whether or not, I choose to apply my “free will” to things?

As someone who has had ongoing success implementing the Law of Attraction, I sometimes wonder if my desires arise because part of me already knows what is coming, or…do I influence what is coming because I create the conditions for it to arise?

Maybe it’s a little of both!

Here’s the part I know for sure: once I drop my desire into the Universal soup, it’s time to surrender and trust that what I have asked for IS ALREADY MINE. So, wherever you are in your manifesting process….don’t forget this piece of the pie.

Mother Nature knows how to do her job. You wouldn’t go pulling on the leaves of your tomato plant at 3:00am saying to it “grow faster, grow faster” now would you?

Here are a few of my favorite quotes on this topic:

“Faith is taking the first step even when you don’t see the whole staircase.” Martin Luther King Jr.

“Faith is to believe what you do not see; the reward of this faith is to see what you believe.” Saint Augustine

“Faith is believing that the outcome will be what it should be, no matter what it is.” Colette Baron-Reid

Wishing you love, laughter and magical kisses,

Arielle

NEW Cosmic Soulmate Ritual for July 22

The Jewish celebration of Tu B’Av, the holiday of love, happens next Monday on July 22. It is a cosmic window in time where the potential of two souls to reunite is greater than any other day of the year. Tu B’Av is the one day in the kabbalistic calendar where there is a complete unification between the spiritual and physical worlds, offering balanced cosmic support perfect for awakening love, discovering soulmates, strengthening relationships and making new beginnings of all kinds.

To take advantage of this auspicious and magical time I would suggest the following ritual:

Go to the most romantic place in nature you can get to – a place that you want to someday take your soulmate.

Plan to be there either at 12:00noon, at sunrise or at sunset.
Bring a pink or red blanket or pillow to sit on.

Also bring a favorite celebratory beverage and a champagne flute.
And bring, a journal, a container of sea salt and a bell (if you have one).

Find a comfortable place to sit and before you sit, place your blanket or pillow on the ground and then make a wide circle around it with sea salt, then sit down.

Write in your journal what you are most grateful for about the life you now lead, and what you are grateful for that is soon to come with the arrival of your soulmate. Then close your eyes and say a prayer of gratitude and meditate for awhile.

When you are done, open your eyes, pour your drink and raise a toast to your soulmate and tell him or her (in your mind) that the cosmic welcome mat is now out and you look forward to meeting them on the physical plane in the near future.

Then, if you have brought your bell, ring in many times.

If you can, take a photo of yourself in this space to add to your altar.

Finally, if you can attend any gatherings or parties where you are likely to meet someone new, on either July 21 or July 22, be sure to go!

Wishing you love, laughter, and magical kisses!

Arielle

Starts tomorrow 5:30pm… PT Marianne Williamson & me

Have I shared with you lately how much I love my soulmate?

Brian is one of the most loving and easiest people on the planet to be with and what you may not know about him is the incredible amount of nurturing and support he provides for me when I am in crazy work mode.

For the past several months I have been fully immersed in the creation of a big new project… it’s been very creative, fun, time-consuming, and super-inspiring.

And, knowing that Brian is always there to encourage me, feed me, hug me, and rub my shoulders makes it so much easier.

Brian is a daily reminder of how great life can be when you share it with your soulmate which is why my dream, my mission, is to make sure that everyone who desires a soulmate has everything they need to make it happen.

Here’s what I know for SURE:
Everyone (especially you) is deserving of soulmate love and there are many possible soulmates out there (they are looking for you!).

If you are willing to give a little time, energy, intention and attention to your love life (and many of you already have, but maybe make time for just a little bit more), love will be yours!

Beginning tomorrow night, I will be hosting a NO COST online series, Attract Your Soulmate Now, featuring the world’s leading experts on love and relationships for 9 days to share their love manifestation secrets and techniques in ONE powerful place. www.lovesummit.com

Join me for the LIVE KICK OFF call at 5:30pmPT, when Marianne Williamson and I launch this “Virtual Seminar.”

For the next 9 days you will hear all the latest and best from Deepak Chopra, Elizabeth Gilbert, Harville Hendrix & Helen LaKelly Hunt, John Gray, Lisa Nichols, John Assaraf, Laura Day, Alison Armstrong, Gay & Kathlyn Hendricks, Marci Shimoff, Colette Baron Reid, Katherine Woodward Thomas, and many others. ) These are actual workshops that will provide you with cutting edge information on finally manifesting the love of your life.

It’s all f.ree, sign up now at www.lovesummit.com

Wishing you love, laughter, and magical kisses!

Arielle

P.S. When you register right away, you’ll also receive a limited-time gift bag filled with powerful audio and video seminars from Deepak Chopra, Marianne Williamson, Debi Berndt, Carol Allen, and Jonathon Aslay, plus ebooks from Sonia Choquette and me!

Register and receive these gifts now

Fun 4th of July Ideas

Happy Summer! This is my favorite time of year…I love the warm weather, the long days, and spectacular sunsets. Not to mention the BBQ’s, juicy array of peaches, plums and cherries to eat!Are you ready to create some fun for this long 4th of July weekend?

 

If you don’t already have plans, here are a few ideas to consider:

  • create a pot-luck singles soiree at your home or at a local park where you can see fireworks.
  • invite your favorite single friends over for a movie marathon.
  • take a fun friend or niece to the mall and pick out great “hot-date” outfits for each other – try on things you would never normally reach for and see what happens!
  • host a mini-spa party where you do mani/pedi’s with outlandish colors.
  • be adventurous and go to a singles meet-up – nearly every city has them. You can always take a friend with you.
  • if “fitness” is your thing and you want to find fun folks to go hiking, biking, weight-lifting, canoeing, kayaking, diving with and more, check out this site…they have lots of locations http://www.fitness-singles.com/
  • get onto google and discover at least 3 new things to do for singles in your city.
  • plan your summer vacation. Check out http://www.singlecruises.com and other travel services for singles.

I want to encourage you to get outside your comfort zone and generate some opportunities to meet new people. Your soulmate could be just one new friend away!

Wishing you love, laughter, and magical kisses!

Arielle

This Is A Powerful film about Soulmates!

Exasperating, difficult, painful, frustrating and crazy-making are just a few of the “normal “emotions most couples experience from time to time.  Even soulmates.

What isn’t “normal” is witnessing the dialogue of another couple in the throes of working through their issues….which is the essence of the compelling new film by Richard Linklater, Before Midnight.

In part 3 of this trilogy, we meet up with Celine and Jesse, nine years since the last film.  They now have twin daughters and live in Paris – he is a writer, she an activist. The film takes place while they are on a family vacation in Greece, most of the time in a dialogue that dives deep into a conversation of “what’s next” for them.  She vents, he cajoles, ego’s explode, tensions rise, tears fall, and emotions rollercoaster throughout. And, if I weren’t sitting in a movie theatre with a bucket of popcorn in my lap I would swear I was eavesdropping on a real conversation.

What I loved most about this movie, besides for how very real and authentic the characters were in the midst of their relationship struggles, is how Jesse showed up in the film to love Celine in spite of the things she said (even though at one point he does call her the “Mayor of Crazytown”).

Ultimately, his love and commitment to and for her, his willingness to put his sword in the ground and truly love her unconditionally, could be a training video for any man who wants to know how a woman wants to be loved.

The New York Times review described it this way:

“Before Midnight” is a wonderful paradox: a movie passionately committed to the ideal of imperfection that is itself very close to perfect.

I highly recommend this movie for anyone who wants to be, or is, in a long-term relationship.  Before Midnight allows us to witness the transformative power of courageously staying in the fire of tumult and the weather of all of our emotions in a way that leads to the magic of healing and re-discovering the flames of romance and passion.

Wishing you love, laughter, and magical kisses!

Arielle

I’ve Got Something Special for You

One of the most fun and creative things I get to do in my life is interviewing the world’s top love experts…luminaries like Deepak Chopra, Harville Hendrix and Helen LaKelly Hunt, John Gray, Lisa Nichols, Marianne Williamson, Gay and Katie Hendricks, John Assaraf, Marci Shimoff, and so many more!

It’s all part of the AMAZING and FREE online Series I host called Attract Your Soulmate Now. I honestly feel like I have gotten a Ph.D. in love by interviewing more than 50 of the world’s top authors, thought leaders, and experts, who have shared with me their insights, tips and techniques on attracting powerful love into your life.

During the 9 days of this free online event, these love experts offer you their best teachings and advice, and they’ll share their latest research and discoveries on how to attract and cultivate deep, soulful love.

Here’s the really good news …. there is absolutely no cost to you, the payoff is huge!

Reserve Your Spot For Attract Your Soulmate Now!

You’ll learn proven techniques to:

  • Manifest the love of your life
  • Let go of past hurts and attachments
  • Break-through fears (It can be terrifying to love someone so much!)
  • Master successful dating strategies
  • Communicate and resolve conflicts
  • Ask for (and get!) what you want from a partner
  • Sustain a deeply soulful connection

Plus, master panelists will share their best insights on “dating, mating and flirting,” increasing self-love, changing your limiting beliefs, improving communication in all your relationships, bringing more playfulness to your love life, navigating the world of online dating, surviving a breakup, and using astrology, numerology, and feng shui to find love.

I can hardly believe how much wisdom and insight we have packed into just 9 powerful days!

I even invited some real-life soulmate couples who reveal how they prepared themselves for Big Love and how they manifested each other. They also give an inside look at what soulmate love is all about.

Join me To Attract Your Soulmate Now!

Does this work? Just ask our event director Bevin Lynch who participated in this series in 2011 and is now engaged and planning her Fall wedding!

Previous event participants have said they experienced real break-throughs, resulting in big shifts in their love lives:

“I feel so blessed to have come across these teachings at the place I am now in my life-dating for the first time at the age of 33. Tears of gratitude fill my eyes when I listen to and learn from the talks!” –Melana

“Recently single after being in a relationship for three years, I had been afraid to date again. But this series completely changed my perspective and now I’m so hopeful!” –Cheyenne

“I love the whole series! Especially the messages about self-acceptance and how to connect to our feelings . . . plus, all the fun dating advice. I’m now ready to try online dating with a whole new perspective and ability to attract my soulmate to me!” -Jill

So whether you’re new to dating, just getting back in the game, or wondering if the person you’re with could actually be “the one,” you owe it to yourself to participate in this extraordinary “love-changing” series. And it won’t cost you a penny!

Discover How To Attract Your Soulmate Now!

Wishing you love, laughter, and magical kisses!

Arielle

 

Survey Says: Online Dating leads to marriage!

Did you know that more than one-third of marriages now begin via online dating sites?

Did you know that couples that meet online are twice as likely to marry than those who meet offline?

And, did you know that couples that met online are happier than those who didn’t? These are just some of the most recent statistics from surveys (including a really important one from eHarmony) and studies about online dating that ran in a recent USA Today article.

My friend, Jeannie Assimos, is the Director of Content at eHarmony and has some really interesting tips (from interviews she did with eHarmony success couples) to share about online dating:

1. Make sure you are ready to commit. If you are, then you need to commit to eHarmony (or other online dating site) as well. Translation: Be patient with the process, and it will pay off. You are looking for lifetime love, and this isn’t something that usually happens overnight.

The amount of time it took before these couples met really varied – for some it was only two weeks, for others, two or four months. One guy even stayed on the site for two years until he met his now-wife. And he told me it was absolutely worth it. But every single one of them mentioned patience as an absolute must.

2. Be completely honest when filling out the questionnaire and profile. One woman told Jeannie she wasn’t getting matches she thought were a fit for her initially. She remembered that when she filled out the questionnaire, she wasn’t in a great mood. So she called customer care at eHarmony and requested that she take it over again. She did, and met her now-husband a month later on the site.

3. Know what you are looking for. One man said he considered all of his past relationships and actually wrote down the things he liked about the women he had dated, and what qualities were not a fit for him. This helped him clarify what he wanted. He then made a list of the values and character he wanted in his partner. The key here is that he got totally clear about what was going to work for him and created his intention. He met his now-wife on eHarmony about four months later.

4. Look at what you have to offer and make sure you feel good about yourself.Norman shared that he went onto eHarmony twice. The first time he wasn’t really in a good place – not happy with himself in many areas, emotionally or physically. When he asked himself what he had to offer someone else and the answer was, “not much,” he left the site and took about two years to get his life together and achieve some personal goals. He then returned and was connected with his gorgeous wife.

5. Keep coming back! As one guy put it, “Sometimes it’s just the wrong time of year, the wrong season, or you have hit a dry spell. Come back to it later. I just put it down and came back to it.” His third time on eHarmony turned out to, in fact, be the charm – he finally met his wife.

The overall takeaway for Jeannie was that all of these couples were absolutely ready to find a lifelong partner. They didn’t half-ass it. They all put a lot of thought, time and energy into the whole process, and understood that being patient and having a positive attitude was necessary. They were also self-reflective and aware of what they were looking for, wanting to be sure that they had something to bring to the table as well. It wasn’t all about what someone else had to offer them.

Now, I realize that some of you are a little apprehensive about online dating, or have had bad experiences in the past, but think of it this way….we’ve all had some really negative experiences at work but that doesn’t stop us from finding another job and being productive. Maybe now is the time to try again….

Wishing you love, laughter, and magical kisses!

Arielle