Dear Soulmate Manifesters,
It was the Fall of 1991 and I remember looking into his big brown eyes and feeling my heart expand to the far reaches of the Universe. My body was tingling and I was filled with the yummiest sensations. My mind was filled with the thoughts such as “he must be my twin-soul,” “finally I’ve found my One,” “this is so amazing.” It was like the best possible drug and I was willing to become an addict.
The problem was that (a) I didn’t know a thing about him (b) I was completely delusional (c) he was ALREADY married (d) even though my body was saying YES there was a sane voice in the back of my head saying “hey, hello, hellloooooo, anyone home? Wake up!”
I spent a few weeks in this delirious state of stolen moments (he would fly into town for a few hours and fly home to be with his family), hours on the phone, fantasies that somehow all these feelings MUST mean this is meant to be, right? Wrong.
There was nothing right about this situation. (one obvious clue: I wasn’t talking about this with anyone, especially my closest friends)
I was compromising my values on so many levels.
Did I really want a guy who would behave this way? No.
Did I want to spend any part of my life being the other woman? No.
How long was I willing to be swept away with these dramatic feelings and make up all kinds of crazy stories that somehow we must be meant to be together?
Luckily not long at all.
In a moment of searing clarity I decided to tell him that we were through. We would not be friends. We would not stay in touch. He offered to leave his wife and move 500 miles to be near me but I just said no. I didn’t trust someone who was willing to throw away their life to be with someone that they truly didn’t know.
Were there moments when I thought “how can something that feels this good be so wrong?” YES and I let the thoughts and the feelings float by as I stayed anchored in my heart of hearts that chose to do the right thing.
Was it hard? Making the decision was the hardest part. Was it the right decision? Absolutely, one million percent.
This experience led me to get very clear about the type of man and the kind of relationship my heart truly desired. And as most of you know, that all came to fruition a few years later when I manifested Brian.
True love is never about compromising your values or morals. Learn to trust that at the right time and with the right circumstances love (not just hormonal frenzy) will be yours.
Wishing you love, laughter, and magical kisses,