Big Love: Secrets from Soulmates Arielle & Brian

Dear Arielle and Brian:
Three years ago I met someone who I strongly believe in my heart is my soulmate. We are engaged and have lived together for the past three years. I discovered he cheated on me and I told him to leave the house. He has grovelled, begged for me to take him back and acknowledged that it was a terrible mistake.

My question is how can a soulmate cause so much pain? How can someone I love so dearly do this? Part of me wants him to come back, but the hurting part of me wants to let go. I have been honest with my thoughts and let him know where he stands. He asked me today what can he do to regain my trust and have me back?
Hope you can clear my mind a bit. Totally confused here.
Betsy


Dear Betsy,

Thank you for sharing your feelings regarding your love relationship. It takes a tremendous amount of courage and heart vulnerability to ask the difficult questions and process these important issues. If we may, we would love to ask you a few more questions in hopes of you gaining more insight instead of assuming we have the answers.
You said that in your heart and intuitive guidance he is your soulmate, but do you feel a soulmate would cause you so much pain? Do you feel a soulmate would have to expend so much energy defending his or her actions? Do you feel like he has provided you a “soft place” to land? Has the relationship been healing and nurturing for you? Were you inspired by his devotion and unconditional love for you? Has he helped to remove your fears or support your aspirations?
These are important questions for you to answer from your heart. Your answers will help you determine if he has served you and your relationship at the “Soul” level. We have always honored and respected loving relationships that can work through these very difficult issues with integrity, forgiveness and the most important ingredient– trust.
Every one of us deserves a healthy and vibrant relationship with the one we love but you specifically asked us to reflect on your questions from a soulmate perspective. Hopefully our response will help you with your confusion We will be sending lots of love and prayers to you and your partner no matter what road you take for the two of you.
Betsy, just know you have most likely helped many people who are in a similar situation you currently find yourself in and maybe this can assist them in gaining some clarity and insight into their own loving relationship.

Wishing you love, laughter and magical kisses,

Arielle & Brian


Arielle Ford, author of The Soulmate Secret: Manifest The Love of Your Life With The Law of Attraction and her husband Brian Hilliard, a business consultant, answer your questions about life, love and relationships. They believe that whether you are eighteen or eighty years old finding Big Love is always possible. Email your questions to: soulmatesecret@nullyahoo.com

My new book Wabi Sabi Love is now available!  Finding your Soulmate is just the beginning.  Read how successful couples keep the soulmate fire burning.  Receive a priceless bonus bundle of advanced love attraction resources and techniques when you order your copy right here:   Wabi Sabi Love

Big Love: Secrets from Soulmates Arielle & Brian

Arielle Ford, author of The Soulmate Secret:  Manifest The Love of Your Life With The Law of Attraction and her husband Brian Hilliard, a business consultant, answer your questions about life, love and relationships. They believe that whether you are eighteen or eighty years old finding Big Love is always possible. Email your questions to:  soulmatesecret@nullyahoo.com

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Dear Arielle and Brian:
I have been in a relationship for nearly five years. I feel very safe, comfortable and care deeply for this person. He loves me unconditionally and he is there for me more than anyone I have ever been with. The problem is that I don’t feel like he is my “soul mate”. How do I know if he is the ONE?

Thanks,
Virginia

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First of all Virginia, we would like to take this moment to really honor what you’ve manifested in your relationship over the last five years with your partner. Those wonderful attributes of safety and comfort are extremely nourishing and extremely rewarding. And for you to care for somebody as much as you do and to have somebody LOVE you unconditionally are a blessing and certainly a solid foundation for a LOVING relationship.

To assist you with your question, “How do I know if he is the ONE?“, we would ask you to please shift your attention and feelings to your heart regarding yourself and your partner. If it helps focus your breath and the experience of something or someone you feel infinite love for into your heart for 10 seconds or so and then send that love, care and appreciation to yourself and your partner (The Institute Of HeartMath refers to this effective technique as Heart Lock-ins). This will add buoyancy and regenerative energy to your entire system as well as to allow you to get in touch with a perspective of greater clarity and expanded awareness. Now, if you’re comfortable, please look and “feel into” your partner as “Soul” or as some might refer to as “essence.” With this deeper recognition we have a unique opportunity to realize (and feel) that our relationship can potentially be unconditional and limitless. Connecting with each other’s Soul or essence gives us the sacred opportunity to reveal our deeper selves and therefore communicate our deepest fears and insecurities to each other. Communicating those vulnerabilities from our hearts feeds us, supports us and nurtures our ability to love our partners and ourselves more than we ever imagined. It will also help you (with honesty and courage) to look at the possibility that you have projected your own fears, judgments and unfair demands and expectations onto the relationship. If you have found this to be true please be easy and gentle with yourself but use that reservoir of love you have been building up through your Heart Lock-ins and direct that frequency of love to dissolve those energies around your fears and anxieties as well as “take out” some of the significance of those judgments and any feelings of anger and despair if that might be weighing you down. You might begin to see the issues and dynamics impacting your relationship in a different light and therefore respond quite differently to each interaction or potential conflict. There is a good chance you could even see your partner in an entirely different light as well—-maybe even as THE ONE!!!!

Virginia, Romantic Soul Love is the doorway through which we can become bigger-our lives, our laughter, and most definitely the LOVE the two of you will share. But wherever this sacred journey takes you we only wish for you Big, Big Love. Every once in a while take your wonderful guy by the hand and let loose with some big FUN—-you might even consider “Dancing Under The Stars” or “Taking a Walk in the Rain”–however daring you want to be just hold onto each other’s hands and dive into the infinite “Ocean of Love and Mercy” with this beautiful guy and commit to open up your heart a little more every step of the way and see what happens!!! Something in the process might just shift and you could find yourself in the grips of “BIG LOVE.”

Arielle & Brian

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Arielle Ford has spent the past 25 years living and promoting consciousness through all forms of media. She is one of the founding partners of the Spiritual Cinema Circle, a DVD club dedicated to providing movies about love and compassion.  She is the author of seven books including the HOT CHOCOLATE FOR THE MYSTICAL SOUL series and her newest book THE SOULMATE SECRET: Manifest The Love of Your Life With The Law of Attraction. Her husband and soulmate Brian Hilliard is a business consultant with a life-long interest in spirituality and the practice of compassion.  They live in La Jolla, CA  www.soulmatesecret.com

Disclaimer: Arielle Ford, Brian Hilliard, the Big Love column and its publishers assume no responsibility for any consequence relating directly or indirectly to any action or inaction you take based on the information, services or other material related to this column.

My new book Wabi Sabi Love is now available!  Finding your Soulmate is just the beginning.  Read how successful couples keep the soulmate fire burning.  Receive a priceless bonus bundle of advanced love attraction resources and techniques when you order your copy right here:   Wabi Sabi Love

Big Love –Secrets from Soulmates Arielle & Brian

Dear Arielle & Brian,
Since I read the Soulmate Secret and did the exercises to heal my past relationships and cut the energetic cords to past lovers, four of my old boyfriends and my former husband have called wanting to reconnect with me.  What’s up with that?
Thanks for your help,
Cindy

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Dear Cindy,
Congratulations!  The inner healing you are doing is working and the energetic dynamic is shifting.  The art and majesty of your rituals and powerful intentions is literally transmuting the energetic density that was weighing down the possibility of unconditional sacred love and abundance in your previous relationships.  These men are now actually feeling different about themselves and something new and different about their earlier union with you.  This doesn’t mean that you are totally free to re-engage in these relationships (unless you suddenly realize that one of them is your soulmate) but it does mean that you are freed up to seriously discern, from your deepest heart, and gain clarity on the issues that previously impacted these relationships.  As you continue to do the inner and outer work of manifesting a soulmate, opportunities foe more and more healing will spontaneously arise. Enjoy the process!

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Dear Arielle & Brian,

I have been married for ten years.  Three years ago I began a serious spiritual path to discovering the awesome abundance of possibilities in the spiritual world.  I have asked my husband to join me on this journey.  I have told him that I love him and  I long for more romance and spontaneity.  His response was very negative and he says I am forcing him into something he is not comfortable with.  He surfs, windsurfs and plays guitar and he says that this is way of connecting to Spirit.  Do you think a marriage can survive if one partner embraces the spiritual journey and the other does not?

With love,
Vivienne

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Dear Vivienne,
We can feel your pain. So many couples face this challenge.  First we want to ask you to do your best to honor your husband’s spiritual path of surfing, windsurfing and playing guitar.  Connecting to Mother Nature and all its beauty is a powerful and direct path to God. (or whatever you wish to call it. Remember, we are all riding different vehicles but hopefully arriving at the same destination.) If you honor his path with devotion and respect then it will be easier for him to come around to your request for abundant intimacy and playful spontaneity.  As you know, we come into a marriage with different histories, wounds and tools to navigate this wonderful thing we call sacred union.  The path is daily opportunity to practice love, compassion, gratitude and fierce grace.  Our sense is that the deeper issue for you is not the so much one of shared spiritual path, but some other disconnect that you may want to explore, as a couple, with a therapist or counselor. .
Sending you prayers for deep healing,

Arielle  & Brian

My new book Wabi Sabi Love is now available!  Finding your Soulmate is just the beginning.  Read how successful couples keep the soulmate fire burning.  Receive a priceless bonus bundle of advanced love attraction resources and techniques when you order your copy right here:   Wabi Sabi Love