Are You Easy to Please?

My fabulous men, feel free to read this, but know that this message is intended for the ladies.

As part of The Love Codes online course I am currently teaching with the fabulous Claire Zammit, I’ve been reading a lot of online profiles from our students. And I continuously see a pattern that got me thinking about the vast differences between the way men and women think and process love.

Whether you are single and seeking love or partnered up and working on keeping love, it’s critical to remember a few basic facts about most straight men:

  1.  They crave respect more than sex.
  2. They can’t be happy unless you are happy and they are not mind readers, so knowing how to gracefully communicate your needs is a necessary skill.
  3. They love to “win” and they have to feel that they can win with you. They need to genuinely feel they possess what it takes to provide happiness.
  4. They aren’t great at multi-tasking, so offering them one question or one request at a time is the way to go.
  5. They choose a life-partner not based on looks or money, but rather on how she makes him “feel.”

It’s great to know all the things you desire for your soulmate to do and be for you, but listing them all, in great detail, in your online profile (or asking or demanding more than one or two at a time), is a set up for failure.

No matter how “reasonable” you think your requests are, it’s likely you will show up in a way that will have him think he can’t please you, or you may even appear “high maintenance.”

Now, I’m not saying you can’t eventually have all of your desires met; you just have to be strategic in your communication.  And, it’s also important that it’s a two-way street…. asking and/or figuring out what he wants (If you haven’t yet read The Five Languages of Love, do that asap).

As you navigate the path of love, try focusing on how to be “easy to please,” which includes offering high praise to your beloved on a regular basis.

Wishing you love, laughter, and magical kisses,

Arielle

Making Magic: It’s easier than you think

I was blessed to learn about the powers and magic of manifesting on September 12, 1984.  My life changed that day and since then I have devoted my life to mastering the art and science of what we now call The Law of Attraction.

 

Every time I manifest something (which is usually at least once a day) I am still delighted and surprised that it worked!

 

Sometimes my desires are met in mere minutes, other times it can take weeks or even months, but eventually, always, my desires are almost always met with what I asked for, or I get something better.

 

The fastest thing I ever manifested was a gluten-free chocolate chip cookie.  I was at a conference, it was during lunch, and I got up to go to the buffet, hunting for this specific cookie.  There wasn’t one, and there had never been one on the buffet.

 

When I got back to my seat, my friend Lisa Nichols, walked up to me and said “Arielle, would you like this gluten free chocolate chip cookie?” (Of course, I said yes.)

 

The longest it ever took me to manifest something was when I wanted to change jobs. I had a great job, it paid well, and it wasn’t overly demanding but I was totally bored with it.

 

And, I didn’t know what I wanted to do next.

 

What I did know was this:

 

I desired to wake up every day feeling excited and happy to have a new position that was creative, fulfilling, that I could do from home, that was well-paying with excellent company benefits, and that I would be using all my skill sets and working with like-minded people.

 

I had no idea of where this position could be found since I didn’t even know what the position was.

 

However, I completely trusted that not only did the perfect job exist, but that IT would find ME.

 

Every day, for more than a year, I sat at my desk for several minutes while I held on to my old giant Rolodex filled with the names and phone numbers of the thousands of people I had met over the years.  Using my imagination, while focused on my heart and deep feelings of gratitude for my new career path, I thanked the Universe for arranging my new work.

 

I never doubted that this job would appear and I continued to work at my old job, and provided the highest quality creativity and results to my employers.

 

One day, more than a year into this daily practice, I got a call asking me to appear on an interview show to discuss The Soulmate Secret. The interviewer and I became friendly and had several other calls.  I pitched her an idea for a free web event, she said yes, the event was a stunning success and the next day her company offered me the most amazing position!

 

I could have never dreamed up the things that happened from there.  And, and here’s the BIGGEST take away:

 

I didn’t need to know the HOW or the WHY for it to happen.  I simply practiced Law of Attraction 101:

  • I had total clarity on the result I was seeking.
  • I completely trusted that what I asked for was already mine.
  • I did a daily gratitude practice and perhaps most importantly, I was detached from the WHEN it would happen.

This process works and it requires your participation. Simply wishing, hoping, dreaming, or fantasizing won’t get you where you want to go, but when you’re willing to put in a little time, energy, intention and attention, all things are possible.

 

Wishing you love, laughter and magical kisses,

 Arielle

Solar Eclipse + LOVE & YOU

By now you have heard about this crazy month of lunar and solar eclipse activity designed to shake us up, support us, and transform us in positive ways.

 

The Full Moon and Lunar Eclipse that occurred on August 7th was all about letting go of limiting beliefs, as well as people and behaviors that no longer serve us.  It created space for the upcoming Solar Eclipse on August 21 that will magnify all the new things that will best serve us… serve our soul and serve our life expression. Generally, this will include monumental events, meetings and partings, or changes within your career and your relationships, etc.

 

According to astrologer Susan Miller:

 

The job of an eclipse is to shine a glaring ray of truth to the part of your life that is being touched, and truth will likely arrive in a startling way. Eclipses are brilliant illuminators, revealing a truth about a condition that you never in a million years knew existed. Once you are given the information, the news can act as a catalyst to a major decision or action you will take. Most often we are shocked or surprised by the information that comes to us, for the eclipse is one of the most dramatic tools the universe uses to get you to sit up, pay attention, and take action. Eclipses are always your friends, for they are there to help to protect you. Always be grateful for truth.

 

Most importantly, both of these eclipses are a wake-up call to be more loving and kind to ourselves, and to those around us. They give us the opportunity to enlarge our capacity to love more deeply.

 

No matter what occurs, it will become evident that the universe is intent on moving you forward.

 

I like to think of it as this: a big, wet, sloppy kiss from God.

 

Wishing you love, laughter. and magical kisses,

Arielle

 

P.S. FED UP with being SINGLE? Please join me for a brand-new FREE Online Seminar to reveal 6 Love Codes that enable you to unlock the power to attract the love of your life.

 

Amazing, True Story of the SONG that brings in Soulmate

Seventeen years ago, Rebekah Eden had finally had enough of romantic relationships. She was sick and tired of disappointment, heartache and betrayal, not to mention the sense that she was constantly losing herself and her larger mission along the way.

Here’s what she did to manifest her soulmate:

I declared to the Universe, ‘The next man I date is going to have to be my husband, because I am officially not doing this anymore.’ I took a year and a half break from seeing anyone.

But in November 2002, I felt a reawakening desire to find my soulmate. A friend who had remarried in her 50’s gave me a poem she’d written, entitled “My Beloved”. Her soulmate had shown up within 6 months of writing it. The poem so moved me, I cried. I set “My Beloved” to music and sang it over and over again, first with elation, then with despair as my heart’s old hurt set in. But I persisted – to my utter amazement, my wonderful husband Michael showed up two weeks later! I had used the song to move through the pain, and as a homing beacon to guide me to the love of my life. Michael and I have now been together for 15 years.

I never shared the song. But recently when a friend complained of her loneliness, I sent “My Beloved” to her. Within one day of listening, her beloved arrived! This ignited a wildfire within our larger circle; after listening to the song, they were suddenly attracting the attention of numerous prospective partners, and those already married experienced an elevation in their relationships. I don’t consider the song to be magic – rather, it is a tool I and others have used to open up the door to the manifestation of our hearts’ desires.

Today, Rebekah is a singer, composer, and mother of four. She lives in Washington, DC with her husband and soulmate, Michael Weisskopf.

I am excited to tell you that it’s Rebekah’s delight to share “My Beloved” with you – for FREE!  Download the song here (and then let me know what happens!)

Wishing you love, laughter & magical kisses

Arielle

How To Ask A Guy Out (by text!)

One of the big debates I hear from single women is whether or not it’s “ok” to make the first move and ask a guy out, especially if you are seeking a “masculine alpha male” type.  So, I decided to ask my dear friend and awesome love expert, Mat Boggs, to write today’s newsletter and give you his advice on this hot topic.  I think what he has to say makes perfect sense.  Enjoy!

mat-boggs-webinarjam-headshotHave you ever wanted to ask a guy out, but you weren’t sure how to do it while still remaining in your feminine energy?

A client of mine named Kelli had this exact challenge.

Kelli wanted to ask her friend, Rich (whom she’d had a secret crush on for months) to be her date at her company party.  Kelli and Rich were just friends (not romantic…yet!) but Kelli wanted to move the relationship out of the “friend zone”.

So how can Kelli ask Rich out, while remaining feminine?

Here’s the key…

First, you must know that masculine energy wants to provide and protect.  One way to ignite the masculine is by stepping into your feminine energy by asking for something you want — something that would make you happy.

Here’s the text that I told Kelli to send Rich… and it worked like a charm!

Help! I’m looking for a good-lookin’, fun, sushi-lovin’ guy (who preferably lives in San Diego area) to accompany me to my work holiday party, before someone in accounting asks me to go (yikes!).  Know anyone who would be interested???

Let’s dive into the anatomy of this perfect text and understand why it worked so well:

Help!  I’m looking for a good-lookin’, fun, (insert a quality you know him for) guy (who preferably lives in [insert where you live] area)

This phrasing indirectly references him and compliments him at the same time. This indirect approach is in line with feminine energy, and asking for “Help!” signals him that there’s an opportunity for his masculine energy to fulfill a need.

to accompany me to my work holiday party, before someone in accounting asks me to go (yikes!).  Know anyone who would be interested???

Including the “before someone in accounting asks me to go” is key, because it demonstrates you are an “in-demand” woman who has options.  When he sees other people desire you, his desire naturally increases.

Sure enough, Rich wrote back, asking when the party would be, and they agreed to go together.

He accompanied her to the party. And at the end of the night, he kissed her! Now they are both enjoying a budding new relationship.

Pretty awesome, right?!

There were three keys that helped my client bring this relationship from “just friends” to big chemistry:

  • She had the right mindset, that was action-oriented and feminine at the same time.
  • She had the right heart-set, knowing she was worthy of love.
  • And she had the right skill-set, the right words to say to evoke his masculine energy.

To serve you in learning more about how to have the right mindset, heart-set, skill-set, I’ve put together a complimentary webinar that you’re going to LOVE called: 3 Secrets to Manifesting the Man of your Dreams.

You’ll learn even more about how to ignite a man’s attraction triggers and call in the relationship you desire.

Register HERE. It’s a gift from us to YOU.

Remember, the love you seek is out there seeking you, so get out there and make some moves, girl!

With Love and Light,

Mat

I consider Mat Boggs to be one of my “love teachers” – his depth, wisdom and understanding of the man/woman dynamic never ceases to amaze me.  For those of you who try this out, be sure to let me know how it works for you!

Wishing you love, laughter and magical kisses,

Arielle

Love & The Four Agreements

One of my all time favorite books is The Four Agreements by Don Miguel Ruiz. Living by the agreements has made my life easier and more manageable over the years, in all areas, especially love!

By applying these agreements to your love life, you can avoid the trap of “taking your loved one for granted” while deepening and enriching your relationship.


Here are the basic Four Agreements:

brian-donmiguelruiz

1) Be Impeccable With Your Word: This one is so simple: To me, being impeccable with your word is to keep your promises and to be sure to communicate changes in advance.  Your soulmate should be able to count on you, always.

2) Don’t Take Anything Personally and 3) Never Make Assumptions:  We are all imperfect beings and from time to time say things we don’t really mean. Jumping to conclusions (by making assumptions) isn’t the best way to go.  Rather than let someone’s actions or words ruin our day, don’t run off seething: From a neutral place ask them for clarity, maybe even add some humor such as “I’m pretty sure that you didn’t mean to insult me just now when you said X,Y,Z?”

Most people never intentionally set out to harm you, yet we often overreact to things because we take it personally or make a wrong assumption. Communicating clearly and from the heart, without attack, will keep the love flowing.  And remember, we are all personally responsible for our own happiness.  If we put our happiness into the hands of someone else, they are sure to disappoint us.

4) Always do your best: If we wish to achieve our goals in life, striving to always do our best makes total sense. Make a point to always do your best with and for your partner.

The key to living these truths is to remember that according to Ruiz : “Awareness is always the first step because if you are not aware, there is nothing you can change. Our biggest fear is taking the risk to be alive – the risk to be alive and express what we really are. Just being our self is the biggest fear of humans. We have learned to live our life trying to satisfy other people’s demands.  We have learned to live by other people’s points of view because of the fear of not being accepted and of not being good enough for someone else.

The freedom we are looking for is the freedom to be ourselves, to express ourselves. But if we look at our lives, we will see that most of the time we do things just to please others, just to be accepted by others, rather than living our lives to please ourselves. When you transform your whole dream, magic just happens in your life. This is the mastery of intent, the mastery of love, the mastery of gratitude, and the mastery of life. This is the path to personal freedom.”

Wishing you love, laughter and magical kisses,

Arielle

Ripple Effect of LOVE

Everything we do and think affects the people in our lives, and the choices we make have far-reaching consequences. Known as the Ripple Effect, our connections stretch like an incredibly interwoven and complicated tapestry that we are all a part of. Thoughts and actions are like stones dropped in a pond and they create ripples that travel outward.

unknownEach of us carries within us the capacity to change the world in small ways for better or worse. One inspiring example of the ripple effect appeared in The New England Journal of Medicine. It recently published a study that showed how a single altruistic kidney donation set off a domino effect, resulting in 10 successive transplants!

Will you join me his holiday season to collectively and consciously choose to add more love to the world?

10 Ways to share the LOVE:

  • When it’s freezing outside, offer hot chocolate to crossing guards, policeofficersand others.
  • Rescue a wallflower! Strike up a conversation with someone who’s standing alone at a party.
  • Think of the amazing people in your life, then send them a card telling them why they’re awesome.
  • I read about a family out to dinner with a special needs child. The kid was acting up and the waitress brought over a note that said “God only gives special children to special people” from a mystery guest who paid for the family’s meal.
  • If you are artistic, paint small rocks with words like “Believe” or “Have Faith” or “Love Will Find You” and leave in random places.
  • Spend a few minutes on www.freerice.com, a United Nations Food Program, that will donate rice to hungry people for every question you get right on their learningweb site. You can test your vocabulary, geography, chemistry and even answer SAT prep questions. It’s fun!
  • Pay for someone else’s coffee or their meal when you are in the drive through lane, pay the toll for the car behind you, or put coins in the street meters for someone else’s car.
  • Buy gift cards to Subway or McDonald’s and hand out to homeless people.
  • Pack up meals, socks, and goody bags to take to hand out to the homeless on the streets.
  • Help someone do a chore likeyardwork or shoveling snow.

Finally, another great reason for sharing your love and kindness is that it’s an oxytocin booster…this will reduce your stress, lower your blood pressure, and give you more pleasure!

Wishing you love, laughter, and magical kisses,

 Arielle

Elevate Your Happiness – here’s how

Sarah Trimmer, who – after a devastating cancer diagnosis – decided to engage with her own health and recovery in an interesting way. She chose to focus her energy on elevating her own happiness every single day, with a simple and elegant technique. Twice a day (morning and night, no matter what difficulties she was facing) she would take a moment to complete these five sentences:

 

grateful-happiness1) Today I am grateful for….

 

2) Today I helped someone by…

 

3) Something that made me happy today was…

 

4) Today I learned that…

 

5) Tomorrow I will….

 

This simple process turned Sarah’s life around and gave her joy and contentment. While she doesn’t know what the future holds, she is doing well now and is excited about her future.

 

Here’s how I answered these questions:

 

1)    Today I am grateful for my current experience of santosha – utter contentment.  Life isn’t perfect, but I am enjoying it exactly as it is.

 

2)    Today I helped someone potentially reach more than 3 million people to view his passion project.  Doing it was easy as can be and it felt so good to help.

 

3)    Something today that made me happy was completing a writing project that turned out better than I hoped for.

 

4)    Today I sadly learned that a former business associate died of cancer and it reminded me to appreciate every precious moment.

 

5)    Tomorrow I will spend several hours teaching women how to manifest a soulmate knowing that 100% of them can be successful.  I love sharing the excitement and possibilities!

 

What about you?

 

Wishing you love, laughter and magical kisses,

Arielle

The 4 Step Plan to Dating Success!

Today, my friend and dating expert, Damona Hoffman, is sharing her dating formula that worked for her 13 years ago and it can work for you too:

 

damona-hoffman-0014-rt-hi-res-aThe fairy tales and Disney movies I saw as a child brainwashed me, I believed that my Prince Charming was coming. If I was pretty enough, demure enough, and patient enough, one day he’d whisk me off to his castle and we’d live happily ever after.

 

After years of kissing frogs that never became princes, I came to the realization that this fairy tale was a BIG FAT LIE. At first, I was angry that I’d been tricked. I had achieved so much in my life, but finding love always seemed so elusive. It occurred to me that every time I felt stuck before – like when I wanted to get promoted at work or when I wanted to lose those annoying last 20 lbs – I had a plan. So, I created a dating plan for myself called Operation Date Nice Guys (no joke, I called it Operation DNG for short.) Here are the basic steps:

 

Step 1: GET CLEAR – The definition of insanity is to do the same thing and expect different results, so you first have to get clear on who you want to meet. For me, I always became attached to emotionally unavailable men who made me feel worthless in a relationship. To me, a “nice guy” was someone who was respectful and thoughtful who would lift me up, not of erode my self-esteem.

 

Step 2: FIND A NEW POND TO FISH IN – If you go to the same places and talk to the same people, how do you expect to meet someone new? Online dating opened up hundreds of options to me (and this was 13 years ago) – now the possibilities are endless.

 

Step 3: BE PROACTIVE – This is the biggest dating challenge that I find with women today. We are so tied to the idea of chivalry that we were sold as kids, that we become stuck in a state of inaction. Just waiting for messages to come to you online means you’re missing out on the upper echelon of men. The men who are worth your time aren’t sending form letters to dozens of women. The high-caliber men are impressed by a confident woman who makes the first move. You also have to remember that in the first phase of online dating, you are dealing with computer algorithms, not chivalry. By initiating contact, you are programming the site to feature you more prominently and exponentially increasing your chances of making a match.

 

Step 4: TAKE YOUR TIME – We are in such a hurry to determine if someone is a match or not on the first date that many women are overlooking quality men because they didn’t feel that nebulous thing called chemistry. If you really want to know what someone is like, you have to get past the first date.

 

One night, I had a first date with a man whose profile name was Mr. Pandemonium (sounds delightfully dangerous, right?) Then, in walks a guy wearing Banana Republic, grey, wool pants and a conservative, black sweater with the collar of a green, button down shirt neatly placed over it and I wanted to run the other way. This man was distinctly not my type. “But he’s cute,” I thought. “Maybe I can set him up with someone else?”

 

Then, I remembered my plan – Operation Date Nice Guys. If I wanted a different result, I would have to do something different, feel something different, give a different kind of guy a chance. I didn’t get butterflies that first date, but what I got was so much better. I got my dream guy and we’re about to celebrate our 10th wedding anniversary.

 

Had I met him before my dating plan, I would have overlooked him because he wasn’t “my type”. In fact, I might not have even met him at all because he definitely wasn’t lurking in the same bogs as those frogs I’d been kissing.

 

If you’re ready to meet your Prince Charming too, you need a dating plan that works for you. The first step on that journey is the First Date Starter Kit which will offer you surefire solutions to meet more quality men and it will give you the tangible steps to take to prepare yourself for flawless first dates that lead to something more. If you’re ready to take control of your dating destiny, click here.

 

Wishing you love, laughter and magical kisses,

Arielle

Are you “All In” When It Comes To Your Dream?

Sometimes we say we desire something, and then, when we examine our progress (or lack there of) it quickly becomes clear that our desire isn’t necessarily a priority.  It’s more like a hope, or wish, or fantasy.

 

We rely on magical thinking rather than “working our personal magic.”

 

I know I am, at times, certainly guilty of this.

 

imagesThere are things I think about…a lot…but never really take action on…except to make up more excuses as to when I will begin or why I won’t be successful in attaining my desire.

 

What I know for sure is that, when I do turn my focus and attention on something really important to me, and I willing to make some effort, eventually I attain success.

 

But, until I get to the point of “going all in” and truly committing, I try to give myself a break and stop “shoulding” on myself, and allow myself to experience as much happiness and peace as possible with how things are right now.

 

And, often the best way to BEGIN is with a baby step.

 

One.

 

Then another.

 

Going slowly, rather than trying to figure it all out at once.

 

Wishing you love, laughter and magical kisses,

 Arielle