Love, Life and What Is Most Needed

One day, many years ago, Brian and I were in Tiffany’s, simply browsing all the pretty shiny and sparkling things.  As we looked through the glass cabinet at a diamond bracelet, a very elegant man in a suit, behind the counter, asked if I would like to try it on.  I immediately said to him: “Oh no thanks, I certainly don’t need anything like this.”

His instant reply floored me: “Madam, this is not about “need,” this is all about “want.”

He was right, and in that moment he gave me a distinction I had never thought about: the difference between “need” vs. “want.”

Our basic needs: air, food, water, shelter, security are obviously the most important ones and essential to life.

But, what about everything else?

Some examples:

cars2I want to eat cheesecake, red velvet cupcakes, macadamia nut chocolate chip cookies and gobs of pasta.  I am gluten and sugar sensitive, so I need to eat healthy foods. The choice is up to me.  My “wants” can hurt me.

I want to drive the big, expensive Tesla sedan.  And, I work from home and only need a very small car to get to the market in.

Now, does that mean I can’t ever have my “wants?”

No, of course not, but knowing the difference is very useful when making decisions (And, I indulge my sweet tooth nearly every day, but I limit myself to 3 small bites.)

For those of you seeking your soulmate, it’s often hard to discern between a want and a need.  One way to do it is to ask yourself this question: “Will this want/need contribute to my long-term happiness?”  If this answer is yes, then I would put it in the “need” category.

I have learned over the years that the more I let go of my “wants” and get comfortable and committed to handling my needs, knowing that I always have “enough” makes my life easier, more fun and certainly more peaceful.

Wishing you love, laughter, and magical kisses,

Arielle

 

P.S. If your heart’s desire is to manifest the love of your life, and you are willing to dedicate your time, attention and intention to making it happen, then I invite you to join me August 19-21 at the beautiful Omega Institute to discover how to quickly and easily make it happen! (This is the only time this year I am offering this weekend workshop)

The Art of Kissing

As if we needed a really good reason to kiss the object of our desire, it turns out that some researchers believe that kissing evolved as a way to assess a potential partner’s compatibility because it exchanges a host of information about health and hormonal status.

Dr. Helen Fisher, one of my favorite love researchers and biological anthropologist, says that saliva contains the sex hormone testosterone, which triggers libido,”so the more time you spend kissing, the more primed you’ll be for sex, resulting in a more intense sexual experience.”

To amp up your kissing skills, here are a few tips!

KilmtSexologist Ava Cadell recommends putting on some mint lip balm to engage the senses: “Menthol triggers the body’s cold receptors, and when that’s combined with your warm breath, you’ll feel a tingly sensation from your lips straight down to your genitals.”

Strawberries activate the sweetness receptors in your mouth, so when you kiss, your sense of taste will go into overdrive! Create a little snack of champagne, strawberries and chocolate and then see what happens!

William Cane, author of The Art of Kissing, recommends a move he calls “lip-o-suction.” To try it, softly kiss the upper lip while your partner lightly chews and sucks your lower lip, then switch.

A great kiss is more than lips and tongues….it’s hands and hugs, and whispers in the ear and lightly sucking of the ears and neck. Think about blowing gently onto their skin, maybe lightly biting them here and there, and remember to pay attention to their breathing and any moans of pleasure you may hear. It’s all about the senses …yours AND theirs.

And singles…. be sure to add to your soulmate wish list that your beloved will be a great kisser!

Wishing you love, laughter, and magical kisses,

 Arielle

P.S. If your heart’s desire is to manifest the love of your life, and you are willing to dedicate your time, attention and intention to making it happen, then I invite you to join me August 19-21 at the beautiful Omega Institute to discover how to quickly and easily make it happen! (This is the only time this year I am offering this weekend workshop!)

The Funny Side of Love

Love, Dating, Marriage, and all that it entails, can be exhilarating, amazing, awe-inspiring and at times it can also be disappointing, painful or worse. One thing that makes all of it BETTER is laughter, so today, I am sharing some of my favorite relationship jokes:

Wall LaughingWhat is a date, really, but a job interview that lasts all night? The only difference is there aren’t many job interviews where you’ll wind up naked.
— Jerry Seinfeld

I’ve been on so many blind dates I should get a free dog.
–Wendy Liebman

A chicken and an egg are lying in bed. The chicken is smoking a cigarette with a satisfied smile on its face, and the egg is frowning and looking put out. The egg mutters to no one in particular, ‘I guess we answered that question.’
— author unknown

Our courtship was fast and furious. I was fast and she was furious.
— author unknown

My father always said, “Be the kind they marry, not the kind they date.” So on our first date I’d nag the guy for a new dishwasher.
— Kris McGaha

Guy: You’re the prettiest girl I’ve ever seen.
Girl: You just want to have sex with me.
Guy: Wow, you’re smart too, I like that.
— Your Mom@HorribleDancer

Q. Why do they name hurricanes after women?
A. Because when they arrive, they are wet and wild but when they leave, they take your house and car with them.
— author unknown

LAST ONE: That tingly feeling you get when you meet someone you’re really attracted to? That’s common sense leaving your body.
— author unknown

If you have a funny relationship joke to share, please email it to me at arielleford@nullgmail.com

Wishing you love, laughter and magical kisses,

Arielle

P.S. If your heart’s desire is to manifest the love of your life, and you are willing to dedicate your time, attention and intention to making it happen, then I invite you to join me August 19-21 at the beautiful Omega Institute to discover how to quickly and easily make it happen!

Vacations Are Good for the Soul

In Venice the most romantic city in the world

In Venice, the most romantic city in the world

Mega talented Broadway writer/star of the Tony award winning show, Hamilton, Lin Manuel-Miranda has said the show was born when he went on vacation. Having the down time to relax, recharge, and reboot got his creative juices flowing and he is now a true phenomenon.

 

We humans grow and thrive when we are well loved, well rested, well fed and make the time for novelty.

 

 

 

 

New experiences open the heart, expand the mind, and feed the soul….

 

 

 

 

With our amazing God-son Zak Koenigs at the Western Wall

With our amazing God-son Zak Koenigs at the Western Wall

When we allow ourselves the time and space to create new, beautiful moments, there is space for magic to happen.

 

And, when you do this with loved ones, beautiful moments of bonding natually occur.

 

We just had an amazing two weeks of adventure. First we went to Israel for our God-son, Zak’s Bar Mitzvah in Jerusalem at the Western Wall with a small group of family and friends.

 

 

Then we spent a week in Italy with our dear friends who live near Venice. Besides having tons of fun, it was deeply relaxing and also stimulating to my creativity.

 

 

 

Brian and I having a crazy great lunch in Jaffa Israel

Brian and I having a crazy great lunch in Jaffa Israel

…Everywhere we went, our senses were treated to new sights, smells, sounds, textures and expecially tasty, yummy food.

 

 

 

 

Zak, the Bar Mitzvah boy and parents celebrate with the Rabbi. Mazel Tov!

Zak, the Bar Mitzvah boy and parents celebrate with the Rabbi. Mazel Tov!

I will soon return home renewed and ready to adopt a more languid, artistic lifestyle where I can do less yet accomplish more thanks to this break from my go, go, go routine.

 

Even if you can’t take a vacation this summer, please try to find a few hours a week to explore locally and have a mini “stay-cation.”

 

 

 

Wishing you love, laughter, and magical kisses,

Arielle

I’ll Have What She’s Having

As you read this, we are headed to Israel and Italy to celebrate our 18th wedding anniversary.  It’s hard to believe how the years have flown by!

BIG HUGWhat I love most about being married to my soulmate Brian is that every morning I wake up to someone who is SO HAPPY to see me, gives me big hugs and cuddles, tells me how beautiful I am and how much he loves me.

I live in this near daily feeling of being drenched in love, saturated in love, infused with love, support and devotion… some days it seems almost too good to be true and I just pinch myself!  BUT, it wasn’t always this way….

Like so many people, when we first got married, I really believed that since I was with my “soulmate,” marriage would be easy and effortless.

What I didn’t know then was that part of the purpose of a sacred relationship is to have a partner to learn and grow and heal with, and that doesn’t happen without challenges.

Fortunately, I committed myself to becoming a “student of love” and I was open and willing to figure out how to become a great partner.

If only someone had prepared me for all of this.

For instance….did you know that research has proven that every couple has at least 9 irreconcilable differences?  These are things that you are never going to agree on and yet we have to learn how to love and respect each others’ point of view and then come up with creative solutions.  Discovering that having this many differences was “normal” was such a relief!  One of the biggest differences for many couples revolves around money.  Almost always you get a “spender” and a “saver.”

That was a big one for me.

While at first it seemed like an insurmountable issue, it healed me of my poverty consciousness, something I wasn’t really aware of until confronted with it!

I also didn’t know that men’s brains are wired differently from women’s and that totally impacts the way we need to communicate with each other.

And, communication skills can be easily learned.

While this newsletter doesn’t give me the space to share everything I have learned about “how” to have an amazing marriage, I can tell you that whether you are still seeking your soulmate or you’ve been happily with yours for many decades, everything I have learned is in my book, Turn Your Mate Into Your Soulmate.  I have made this book easy and fun and if you are up for being a “student of love,” be sure to read it. You can get the first few chapters for free at www.arielleford.com.

Or buy it now at Amazon!

All the latest science and research now shows that the very best way to insure a long, healthy life is to have a happy marriage.  I know many of you exercise, eat right, do yoga, meditate, and drink your green drinks, so please also put your attention on manifesting your soulmate and if you already have one, become a “student of love” to create a long-lasting happy marriage.

Wishing you love, laughter and magical kisses,

 

Arielle

Marianne Williamson on love & tears

There’s an old saying that before you meet your prince, you might kiss a lot of frogs. And most of us have.

We might chuckle at that, but the truth is that the “wrong” relationships are not just wrong – they’re painful. Have you ever thought about how many tears you’ve cried over love affairs and marriages that didn’t work?

The pain of heartbreak is some of the deepest pain we experience in life, and that’s why I’m excited that my friend Marianne Williamson has written a book specifically dedicated to that: how to endure our suffering when times are tough, and most importantly how to get ourselves back up again and be even more prepared for life and love than we were before.

Here is an example of Marianne’s wisdom from her new book, Tears to Triumph: The Spiritual Journey from Suffering to Enlightenment:

 

tears-to-triumph-3d-275“The universe itself is intentional, guiding all things to the actualization of their highest potential. This includes not only individuals, but also relationships. Love is always seeking us. The problem is how often we hide from it, scurrying away from the light of love into the darkness of our fearful selves. It wasn’t that love didn’t show up for us; it’s that we didn’t show up for love.

 

A Course in Miracles says that our job is not to seek love, but to seek all the barriers we hold against its coming. Those barriers, those walls in front of our hearts, are the places where we turn our backs on love. We do various things to keep love at bay, from behavior ranging from needy to controlling, dishonest to manipulative, avoidant to addictive, too hot to too cold, self-centered to smothering. These character defects are not where we’re bad, but where we’re wounded. Still, no matter what childhood experience might have caused those defects to begin with, they’re our responsibility now. When we are displaying our rough edges, other people don’t think, ‘Oh poor dear, you’re wounded.’ They’re more apt to think, ‘Oh Lord, get me out of here.’ Which totally makes sense.

 

So, time and time again, we find ourselves blowing it at relationships – with friends, with colleagues, with family, with partners. And once again, the only real problem is our separation from God. The key to fostering soulful relationships with others is fostering our primary relationship with God, for there, we are healed of the pieces of false self with which we so often sabotage our relationships. In my relationship with God lies my relationship with my true self, and only when I’m aligned with the truth of who I am can I align with the truth in you.”

 

Once again, Marianne has hit the nail on the head. She points to the darkness so we can expose it to the light, and in so doing, illuminating the path to love. I highly recommend her book for its extraordinary depth of compassion for the tears we’ve suffered, and its practical wisdom for how to dry them. Even more importantly, says Marianne, we can do even more than dry our tears – we can learn from them, and become even better at love than we were before.

 

Whether you are single, in a relationship, or somewhere in between coupled, Marianne reveals that true healing and transcendence can only come when we finally face our pain and wrestle with what it has to teach us. She offers us a powerful way forward through the pain, to a deeper awareness of our feelings, our lives, and our true selves.

 

Get her new book, Tears to Triumph: The Spiritual Journey from Suffering to Enlightenment today!

 

Wishing you love, laughter, and magical kisses,

Arielle

What’s Your Moon Shot?

In 1969, Apollo 11 landed the first human on the moon – an amazing dream envisioned by President John F. Kennedy, Jr.   It was known as the “moonshot,” which today is a phrase used to describe “ambitious, exploratory and ground-breaking projects undertaken without any expectation of near-term profitability or benefit and also, perhaps, without a full investigation of potential risks and benefits.”

 

imagesAnother example of a “moonshot,” was taken by Peter Diamandis, creator of the X-Prize.  When he announced the $10 million dollar prize for the most innovative winner of the X Prize he didn’t have a clue where the money would come from.   After more than sixty meetings with various wealthy individuals and corporations, he finally secured the $10 million in prize money!  He didn’t know how or when he would succeed, he just decided this was his “moonshot” and he would make it happen.

 

Today the X Prize mission takes on the challenges of our time – the national or global crises, market failures and opportunities where solutions are thought to be either out of reach or just plain impossible – and design and operate incentivized prize competitions to drive radical breakthroughs to solve them.

 

For some of you, finding your soulmate, or re-inventing your career, or moving to Bali is your “moonshot.”  Right now it seems nearly impossible, out of reach, beyond comprehension, and you don’t currently know how it will happen. However, your desire for a fabulous life can become strong enough to make it happen.

 

The winning formula is a desire, faith and taking action. What will bring you all the answers is your willingness to truly go for it.  Go for the life you dream of and completely deserve.  Allow yourself to know, trust and belive that what you have asked for IS already yours. Align yourself with those can help and support.

 

That’s what JFK did.

 

That’s what Peter Diamandis did.

 

That’s what you can do.

 

You don’t have to do it alone.

 

Enlist a friend to “hold the space” for you.

 

Find a coach or mentor to guide you through.

 

Take time each day to feel what it feels like to be living your dream life.

 

Wishing you love, laughter, and magical kisses,

Arielle

How To Trust Your Intuition

It took me years to learn to trust my intuition.  Sometimes it was hard to distinguish between my “wishful thinking” and a real intuitive “hit.”

 

imagesMy friend and intuitive extraordinaire, Colette Baron Reid, shared with me a very simple but powerful technique to use by yourself when you need to access your own intuition. She calls it the YES OR NO technique.

 

To begin you say your name out loud.  For example: “My name is Arielle.”

 

Then notice how that feels in your body. When I say “My name is Arielle” I get this very clear “solid” feeling that YES this is absolutely true.

 

Then make the same statement but with a false name, such as “My name is Violet.”

 

You will notice that this feels both confusing and wrong.

 

The next step is to ask the question you most want the answer to…. if you are trying to figure out if the person you have been dating for awhile is the “one,”  or if a potential opportunity is a good thing try this:

 

“Is ____the one for me?”

 

Or you can say,

 

“Is it in my highest and best good to pursue _____ with ________?”

 

Rev-arms-outIf you feel contracted around your chest area, this is a sign that your body is giving you a “no.” If you are hoping that this person is the right person and you find that you are getting a NO and you see that you are trying to re-work the question to get a “yes” and you are feeling obsessed, or disappointed in how your body is responding, this is how you know the difference between intuition and wishful thinking.

 

To know the difference between intuition and wishful thinking, pay attention to how you feel and what you’re trying to do with the information. If you’re letting it “be” whatever it is, then you’re getting intuitive guidance. If you’re trying to direct or manipulate the action or outcome with a particular agenda, or if you are afraid or feeling fearful about what you are feeling, then you might be in the realm of wishful thinking. It may take a little practice but developing your inner radar will serve you well.

 

And, if you want to really dive into this, check out Colette’s Daily Oracle Card Reading Course. This is a 3-Lesson online course to help you get in touch with the best adviser you’ll ever have – Spirit. It teaches you the fundamentals of dialoguing with Spirit on a daily basis to help you adjust your actions or interpretations of events, people, and overall challenges. Amazing resource!

 

Wishing you love, laughter, and magical kisses,

Arielle

The Real Purpose of Marriage

 

My sister Debbie loved her rabbi, Baruch Ezagui. One day, the Rabbi and I had a conversation about love and the real meaning of marriage. He told me he believes “marriage is the highest calling of humankind” and that it includes the marriage between the body and soul, heaven and earth, spirit and matter, one human and another.

He further explained:

“This union of beings is reflected in the marriage between men and women. True love is loving the person for what they love, who they are, for what they stand for. If you go into a marriage loving what you love, not what they love, that is not real love.

Real love is not finding someone to hold your hand and find common ground with; the institution of marriage is to push you out of your comfort zone, lift you up and above what you need, so that you can provide what you are needed for.

WOW.

Just ponder that last bit: marriage… lifts you up above what you need, so that you can provide what you are needed for.

For those of you who are wary of marriage or fearful that your past history is a precursor of your future, I urge you to consider the true nature of marriage and a soulmate relationship, which I believe is that it brings us not only great joy, but also the deepest possible level of healing.

Wishing you love, laughter, and magical kisses,

Arielle

Do You TRUST the Universe?

Shit happens.

It just does.

We have good days, bad days, and mediocre days.

One day we feel great…top of the world.

The next day we feel like crap, get in a car accident, or worse.

Life is great. Life sucks.

This is just how it is……one step forward, two steps back.
Keep Calm and Trust the UniverseSo…here’s the BIG question: Why do so many of us live as if feeling bad is so WRONG?

I think there are two answers to this question:

#1 is that we were raised on the old Alka Seltzer jingle “plop, plop, fizz, fizz, oh what a relief it is.” We’re programmed to believe that there is a pill to pop to alleviate every pain or discomfort. (Even though we all know that physical pain is a necessary signal that something is calling for our attention.)

#2 we don’t believe that the Universe always has our back. Quite simply, we don’t trust God. We assume that whatever is happening…whether it’s the loss of a job, heartbreak, illness, betrayal, unexpected money issues, or roadblocks to our heart’s desires… we take it as a sign that we are doomed and more bad is on the way.

While just like everyone else I would rather avoid pain, in six decades on this planet, I’ve discovered that my greatest, most extraordinary “wins” in life have all come as a result of my most painful and difficult experiences. Over time I’ve learned to cultivate trust in the Universe.

As I began to witness in my own life that from the darkest times came the brightest results, I found the ability to trust both God and myself. I consciously sought out proof that the bad times were the soil in which my dreams came to fruition. (And yes, I admit, that I often wished for a genie in a bottle to make it all easier for me.)

If you are having a great day today, take a few moments to close your eyes, drop into your heart and really feel how grateful you are.  Deeply breathe in this gratitude and savor it.

And, if today is a bad day, close your eyes, drop into your heart, and take a few moments to feel what you are truly feeling….and then see if you can conjure up true gratitude for the possibility of the most wonderful thing that will soon come to you as a result of this difficulty.

Wishing you love, laughter, and magical kisses,

Arielle