Romance, Food & Your Appetite for Love & Life

Dating, whether you love it or loathe it, is an indispensable part of the soulmate manifestation process (and regular date nights are essential once you are a couple). Eventually, there will be a “first dinner date.” What you order will let him or her know if you have a healthy appetite for love and life.

On these early dates, we want to let our large appetite for life, our enthusiasm for life, really shine through as much as possible.

For those of you with gluten or other sensitivities (I fall into this category), it might be best just to order something you know is “safe” for you to eat rather than engage in a big conversation with the server, which will lead to a talk about your various ailments which might make you appear “high maintenance.”

If you are vegan or vegetarian, no problem, as long as you aren’t sitting in judgment if your date orders a steak. If you are a strident vegan, and you can’t watch anyone eat meat products, that is something to figure out BEFORE you go out on a dinner date.

For those of you “foodies” out there…be adventurous and let your date know that you love trying new things.  Foodies need to find each other!

One other thought:  Judging how someone else eats, even if you believe they are harming themselves, is toxic to you, not them.

What got me thinking about all of this was a blog I recently read by Katie Oldenburg at www.thefrisky.com on this topic.  Here’s what she thinks your first date food order says about you…you decide for yourself!

Anything With Garlic: I have no self-awareness or foresight … or I don’t like you.

Tacos: I’m impulsive and a short-term thinker.

Burger And Fries: I want something delicious because I’m hungry. It’s not glamorous and you may judge me for it, so go ahead.

Buffalo Wings: I’m adventurous and not afraid of getting down and dirty.

Pasta: I’m a romantic. There’s something seductive about a savory plate of pasta, as long as sauce isn’t dripping all over the place.

Steak: I’m dominant and powerful. Anybody who wants to slice into a big filet with a steak knife says “I’m in control” (and maybe that attitude will spill into the bedroom later on).

Chicken: I play it safe. May be perceived as boring.

Pizza: I’m down-to-earth. I’m not too uppity, but I also might not be very adventurous.

Meatloaf: I’m not here to impress you. There’s nothing impressive or sexy about meatloaf, therefore there’s nothing impressive or sexy about this date.

Quesadilla: I’m fun, easy going and playful.

Surf And Turf: I’m fancy, sort of materialistic and don’t care about money, because you’re paying.

Salmon: I like you and consider your feelings. I chose a lean piece of fish that’s not too smelly or hearty, tastes good and is classy.

Chicken Fingers: I am a child trapped in an adult’s body and am unaware that you’re probably judging me.

One last thought.  When I was dating, I would generally eat something before going out to dinner, because I didn’t want anyone to see just how ravenous I can become when I get hungry and I am a super sloppy, messy eater.  I would generally order something that I liked ”enough” that wouldn’t end up all over me or them.

Wishing you love, laughter, and magical kisses,

Arielle

7 Steps to have MORE LOVE in your life in 2018

Love is quite simply the most precious possession in existence. And my mission is to share the best insights I know to bring more love into each of your lives. Today, I want to share the most powerful way to create MORE LOVE in your life in 2018.

This beautiful insight comes from my dear friend Ken Page’s game-changing best seller Deeper Dating: How to Drop the Games of Seduction and Discover the Power of Intimacy.

If you want more love in 2018, try this life-changing exercise from Ken:

Think about all the people you know, from your nearest and dearest to people you may not have thought about for years. And just ask yourself these three questions:

  • Who truly loves me?
  • Who sees and treasures me for who I really am?
  • Whom do I trust to have my best interests at heart?

Each of the people you picked is gold. They are your personal dream-team in life. The very wisest path to love is to nurture these relationships – by doing three things:

Practice giving more to each one of these precious people.

Practice asking for more from each of them as well (yes, it’s true, asking for more is an act of intimacy!)

And most of all: enjoy them. This last suggestion is perhaps the greatest act of life wisdom that I know.

Follow these 3 steps and watch 2018 blossom into the most love-filled year of your life.

In Deeper Dating, Ken teaches “micro-meditations;” small practices that take less than three minutes, but have the power to enrich your entire intimacy journey. This micro-meditation can be your foundation for a love-filled 2018.

Micro-Meditation: The Love that’s Already Yours

Pick the person who stood out for you most as you reflected on your relationships. Now try the following:

  • Think about what you love most about this person.
  • Think about the quality of this person’s love for you.
  • Remember one time that you deeply felt the bond between the two of you.
  • Hold this person to your heart for a moment, and say “Thank you.”
  • And now, just let your love quietly ripple through you.

Practice this micro-meditation as many times as you wish, and just watch as your reservoir of love deepens and widens, day after day.

And I promise you, it will. Your heart will become warmer, your life will become richer, and you’ll start meeting new people who also love you for who you are.

Deeper Dating is a life-changing book, written for single people but deeply relevant to absolutely everyone who wants more love in his or her life. You can order it here.

Wishing you love, laughter, and magical kisses,

Arielle

What’s your “word” for 2018?

Every year, I pick a word that is the guiding theme for me. Last year it was “santosha,” which is Sanskrit for contentment. I even had a special rock made to keep on my desk as a constant reminder.

When I selected that word, I had no idea just how important finding contentment would become.  2017 was, in many ways, one of the most difficult years of my life. Both my husband and my mother had multiple hospitalizations and life-threatening illnesses that many times required me to be in two places at once. All of that, on top of the chaos in the world, created a lot of havoc.  Daily reminders to “seek and be contentment” were a lifesaver.

This year my word is “beauty.”

I seek to see, hear, smell, taste, touch and be beauty as much as possible.

What will your word be?

Wishing you love, laughter, and magical kisses,

Arielle

Is Self Love A Prerequisite To Soulmate Love?

Self-love seems to be the hot topic in the personal growth movement these days and when it comes to finding soulmate love, there are a lot of myths that until you love yourself first, you won’t be able to get anyone else to love you.  Can this really be true?

My experience has been that most women (at least in the Northern hemisphere) live with a negative, critical voice in their heads that is often filled with ugly, shaming thoughts, self-doubt, and brings with it feelings of never being “good enough.”

And, I began to wonder, do you really have to eliminate that persistent voice in order to find true love?

Do we really need to be 100% in love with ourselves to experience Big Love?

I don’t think so.

What is required is to learn how to “talk back” to that voice and create strategies to love yourself more and better.  This includes a big dose of self-awareness so that when the “voice surfaces” you kick its butt!

For instance, you walk past a mirror and immediately react by thinking “God, you look like a total piece of $#it today.” Immediately stop. Walk back to the mirror, give yourself a big smile and blow yourself a kiss and say something warm and loving to your reflection.  This is called self-care and self-soothing.  Over time, you can change your habitual negative thinking by in-putting loving and uplifting thoughts and beliefs about yourself. And, please, never forget that just because you have a thought does not make it true!

Now, as for soulmate love, one of the greatest, most awesome things about living your life with your soulmate, is that you begin to heal each other in unimaginable ways. When you spend time with someone who loves all of you – the good, the bad and the ugly – you begin to love yourself even more.

So many women are “waiting“ to actively seek their soulmate because they feel stuck in how they feel about themselves.  This is a very selfish thing to do.

Why?  Because, just as you desire to spend your life with your soulmate, they are also seeking you.  And if you are holed up at home, on the couch, watching the Kardashians or the Property Brothers, they can’t find you!

Now, while learning to love yourself a little bit more and more, it’s also important to know that once you do manifest the love of your life, you teach them how to treat you by the way they witness how you treat yourself.  I learned this from my husband Brian. Once we got married and began living together, I noticed how he always prioritized his health and well-being.  At first, I made up stories about how selfish he was because he wasn’t always flexible about the time he took to meditate and exercise.  When I finally asked him about it his response floored me.  He explained that by sticking to his personal care schedule, he was able to fill himself up so that the rest of the day he had more love and more energy to give to me and the rest of the world.

Wow.  What an insight that was for me.  I soon began to follow in his footsteps.

Self-love is important and please know that if your soul is calling for a soulmate, the voice in your head shouldn’t be a barrier to love.

Wishing you love, laughter and magical kisses,

Arielle

The Sweetness of Giving

More than 25 years ago, my stepfather, Doc, saw me give a homeless man $20 and he asked me why I did it.  The question took me by surprise, partly because I had never thought about the “why.”

After a few moments, I told him “because it makes me feel good.”

My dream job is to be a philanthropist, which I plan to make into a full-time job when I win the lottery (I already have a plan on how to give away millions).

In the meantime, I consider myself a mini-philanthropist with big dreams.

I am celebrating a big birthday on December 29th – it’s hard to imagine, but I am turning 65 and I have already received my Medicare card!

No matter how “youthful” I like to imagine I am, there is no denying that I am entering what Wayne Dyer called “late afternoon.

Although I may never win the lottery, I plan to increase my “giving” now, especially since I am fortunate enough to have all the ”stuff” anyone needs to live a good life.

I am beginning this today and I hope you will help me by supporting my “birthday project” to send a young girl to medical school. To get all the exciting details, please click here: https://www.justlikemychild.org/arielleford/

Wishing you love, laughter and magical kisses,

Arielle

Are You Easy to Please?

My fabulous men, feel free to read this, but know that this message is intended for the ladies.

As part of The Love Codes online course I am currently teaching with the fabulous Claire Zammit, I’ve been reading a lot of online profiles from our students. And I continuously see a pattern that got me thinking about the vast differences between the way men and women think and process love.

Whether you are single and seeking love or partnered up and working on keeping love, it’s critical to remember a few basic facts about most straight men:

  1.  They crave respect more than sex.
  2. They can’t be happy unless you are happy and they are not mind readers, so knowing how to gracefully communicate your needs is a necessary skill.
  3. They love to “win” and they have to feel that they can win with you. They need to genuinely feel they possess what it takes to provide happiness.
  4. They aren’t great at multi-tasking, so offering them one question or one request at a time is the way to go.
  5. They choose a life-partner not based on looks or money, but rather on how she makes him “feel.”

It’s great to know all the things you desire for your soulmate to do and be for you, but listing them all, in great detail, in your online profile (or asking or demanding more than one or two at a time), is a set up for failure.

No matter how “reasonable” you think your requests are, it’s likely you will show up in a way that will have him think he can’t please you, or you may even appear “high maintenance.”

Now, I’m not saying you can’t eventually have all of your desires met; you just have to be strategic in your communication.  And, it’s also important that it’s a two-way street…. asking and/or figuring out what he wants (If you haven’t yet read The Five Languages of Love, do that asap).

As you navigate the path of love, try focusing on how to be “easy to please,” which includes offering high praise to your beloved on a regular basis.

Wishing you love, laughter, and magical kisses,

Arielle

Permission to INDULGE!

Happy Thanksgiving!

This is a day for gratitude, as well as nourishing ourselves with delightful, tasty foods and nurturing our hearts and souls with those we most love.

When we allow ourselves the joy of indulging all of our senses, we enhance our brain chemistry, especially by increasing the amount of dopamine in our brain.   Dopamine activates our reward center and is a major neurotransmitter that’s a key factor in motivation, productivity, and focus. Dopamine provides your zest for life and it also plays an important role in attention, memory, moods, and sleep.

To build your dopamine levels, I am declaring Thanksgiving an official Pleasure Puppy Indulgence Day! On this day, you have permission to fully, totally, completely enjoy every morsel of food, every drink, and every precious moment with loved ones.

Now, I am not saying that you should binge or gorge yourself to a ridiculous level.

What I am saying is that you can allow yourself to eat all of the things that are most appealing…without going overboard.  For instance, I have a real sweet tooth and when I eat too much sugar, I get a serious headache.  I have learned that I can eat dessert (and I do nearly every day), but I limit myself to three bites.  That way, I can enjoy the treat and not get the headache.

If you approach the dinner table with judgment, guilt, or fear of getting fat, you diminish your capacity for enjoyment.

Brian and I will be with family enjoying the turkey with all the trimmings, sweet potatoes topped with marshmallows and of course, pumpkin pie!

We wish you a fantastic holiday and remind you to savor every bite, every hug and have a fun, and delicious Thanksgiving Feast.

Love,

Arielle

Making “impossible” POSSIBLE

Manifesting our heart’s desire doesn’t always happen instantly, magically, or effortlessly.

It rarely happens that way.

It can often be a long, circuitous route.

In fact, it’s normal, to sometimes get to the point where you say to yourself:

“It’s just too hard.”

“It isn’t meant to be.”

Blah. Blah. Blah.

And, then, it’s up to YOU to re-ignite your passion and persistence, to take daily steps to make your dreams come true.

The Universe is supporting you, even when, especially when, you can’t see or feel that.

This is why it’s sooooo important to do daily feelingizations – close your eyes, drop from your head to your heart, re-experience feelings of love, appreciation and gratitude (deeply), remember that on the unseen plane, what you’ve asked for IS already YOURS and luxuriate in the joy of your wish fulfilled.

Every day make sure to take baby steps of action towards your goal.  Don’t get caught up in having to know the HOW it’s all going to come together.

That is not your job.

Your job is to stay in alignment with your soul’s desire and to co-create with the Universe.

Remember that the word “impossible” really means “I’m Possible.”

Now get out there and live like you believe this, and soon you will be jumping for joy as the results roll in.

Wishing you love, laughter & magical kisses,

Arielle

Are You Highly Sensitive?

One of the biggest AHA moments of my life was when I discovered that I wasn’t crazy…. I found out that being super sensitive to loud noises and bright lights (and more) is actually a condition with a name – it’s called being a Highly Sensitive Person (HSP).

What a relief it was to discover not only a name for my peculiar reactions to life, but that there are also solutions. (Some are below!)

About 20% of the population is born with heightened sensitivities. One definition of HSP is described as having hypersensitivity to external stimuli, a greater depth of cognitive processing, and high emotional reactivity.

How do you know if you are an HSP?

  • You become overwhelmed from too much stimulation.
  • You feel drained from emotionally charged situations.
  • You have sensitivity to loud noises, certain smells, or bright lights.
  • You are susceptible to feeling other people’s negative emotions in your body such as anger or stress.

For someone born with heightened sensitivities, your path to creating your dream life can be filled with ease, grace and flow OR it can be a hard journey of struggle, hard work and burnout.

Other signs of being an HSP include:

  • Patterns of behavior that you keep repeating over and over again that prevent you from having what you want.
  • Self-sabotaging success, or finding yourself procrastinating to take action towards a goal even when you have a viable plan.
  • Having a cycle of working really hard and burning out before you reach a goal.

When you are on the path of hard work and burnout, it means that you are subconsciously making decisions and taking actions based on your inner voice of fear and criticism. This voice of fear will alternately tell you to hold back and not take a chance and then tell you that you should be working harder. This leaves you feeling stuck, frustrated and depleted.

Here’s a simple exercise you can do to override this fear-based voice and instead listen to your empowering voice of confidence which will lead you on the path of ease and flow.

Think of someone you really admire and respect, and write down all the qualities you really love and respect about them. Then in detail describe how this person demonstrates the qualities you love about them. You will notice that the qualities that really resonate with you about the person you respect are the qualities people admire most about you and see in YOU.

Now close your eyes and feel these special qualities inside yourself. Think of all the evidence in how you demonstrate them into the world.  THESE special qualities ARE the key to how you get on the path of creating your dream life with ease and flow. When you are resonating the most beautiful qualities of your soul, you make decisions that are empowering and authentic.

If you are a highly sensitive person and want to know the simple four-step formula that creates your dream life with ease and flow, then please join my friend, HSP expert Debbie Lynn Grace, on November 9 for a complimentary webinar. To register, CLICK here.

 

Wishing you love, laughter & magical kisses,

Arielle

Don’t Blame the Victim

A big part of having success with the Law of Attraction is understanding that “thoughts are things” and that our feelings, thoughts, and beliefs help to co-create our reality. Other factors that also influence our lives include karma, divine timing, destiny, free will, and that omnipresent reality of “shit happens.”

When something really bad happens to someone – let’s say a serious diagnosis, losing a job, a big car crash, and then a supposedly well-meaning “spiritual friend” asks them, ” What thoughts were you having that would cause this?”…well, this scenario just makes me crazy.

We would never ask an abused toddler, “Hey kid, what thoughts did you have that created these beatings?”

So, unless someone is sitting around thinking, “Wow, wouldn’t it be cool if I manage to get stage 4 colon cancer so I can scare myself and my family and go on a multi-year journey to fight the cancer and maybe live?”

It’s highly unlikely any of us have consciously had that thought or any thought to choose a bad event. So, while it is true that we cause things with our thoughts, fears, and beliefs, it is also true that there are other factors that are at work here.

We all benefit from being more aware and more mindful of our thoughts and as much as possible, try to keep our thoughts positive, but it’s also not useful to “blame the victim,” and kick them when they’re down by suggesting they caused the problem.

We are not privy to their soul’s purpose and path. We don’t know what trials and tribulations they agreed to before incarnating in this lifetime, so let’s do what we signed up for: to be their friend, cheerleader, support system, safe place to land. Let’s hug them with our arms and provide emotional safety for them.

I often tell my closest friends that I am always there for them when they need a place to rant and rave and vent. I can create a safe place for their expression and then bring them back into a loving frequency (and they do the same for me).

Here’s to a kinder, gentler world of loving support for all.

Wishing you love, laughter & magical kisses,

Arielle