The Sweetness of Giving

More than 25 years ago, my stepfather, Doc, saw me give a homeless man $20 and he asked me why I did it.  The question took me by surprise, partly because I had never thought about the “why.”

After a few moments, I told him “because it makes me feel good.”

My dream job is to be a philanthropist, which I plan to make into a full-time job when I win the lottery (I already have a plan on how to give away millions).

In the meantime, I consider myself a mini-philanthropist with big dreams.

I am celebrating a big birthday on December 29th – it’s hard to imagine, but I am turning 65 and I have already received my Medicare card!

No matter how “youthful” I like to imagine I am, there is no denying that I am entering what Wayne Dyer called “late afternoon.

Although I may never win the lottery, I plan to increase my “giving” now, especially since I am fortunate enough to have all the ”stuff” anyone needs to live a good life.

I am beginning this today and I hope you will help me by supporting my “birthday project” to send a young girl to medical school. To get all the exciting details, please click here: https://www.justlikemychild.org/arielleford/

Wishing you love, laughter and magical kisses,

Arielle

Are You Easy to Please?

My fabulous men, feel free to read this, but know that this message is intended for the ladies.

As part of The Love Codes online course I am currently teaching with the fabulous Claire Zammit, I’ve been reading a lot of online profiles from our students. And I continuously see a pattern that got me thinking about the vast differences between the way men and women think and process love.

Whether you are single and seeking love or partnered up and working on keeping love, it’s critical to remember a few basic facts about most straight men:

  1.  They crave respect more than sex.
  2. They can’t be happy unless you are happy and they are not mind readers, so knowing how to gracefully communicate your needs is a necessary skill.
  3. They love to “win” and they have to feel that they can win with you. They need to genuinely feel they possess what it takes to provide happiness.
  4. They aren’t great at multi-tasking, so offering them one question or one request at a time is the way to go.
  5. They choose a life-partner not based on looks or money, but rather on how she makes him “feel.”

It’s great to know all the things you desire for your soulmate to do and be for you, but listing them all, in great detail, in your online profile (or asking or demanding more than one or two at a time), is a set up for failure.

No matter how “reasonable” you think your requests are, it’s likely you will show up in a way that will have him think he can’t please you, or you may even appear “high maintenance.”

Now, I’m not saying you can’t eventually have all of your desires met; you just have to be strategic in your communication.  And, it’s also important that it’s a two-way street…. asking and/or figuring out what he wants (If you haven’t yet read The Five Languages of Love, do that asap).

As you navigate the path of love, try focusing on how to be “easy to please,” which includes offering high praise to your beloved on a regular basis.

Wishing you love, laughter, and magical kisses,

Arielle

Permission to INDULGE!

Happy Thanksgiving!

This is a day for gratitude, as well as nourishing ourselves with delightful, tasty foods and nurturing our hearts and souls with those we most love.

When we allow ourselves the joy of indulging all of our senses, we enhance our brain chemistry, especially by increasing the amount of dopamine in our brain.   Dopamine activates our reward center and is a major neurotransmitter that’s a key factor in motivation, productivity, and focus. Dopamine provides your zest for life and it also plays an important role in attention, memory, moods, and sleep.

To build your dopamine levels, I am declaring Thanksgiving an official Pleasure Puppy Indulgence Day! On this day, you have permission to fully, totally, completely enjoy every morsel of food, every drink, and every precious moment with loved ones.

Now, I am not saying that you should binge or gorge yourself to a ridiculous level.

What I am saying is that you can allow yourself to eat all of the things that are most appealing…without going overboard.  For instance, I have a real sweet tooth and when I eat too much sugar, I get a serious headache.  I have learned that I can eat dessert (and I do nearly every day), but I limit myself to three bites.  That way, I can enjoy the treat and not get the headache.

If you approach the dinner table with judgment, guilt, or fear of getting fat, you diminish your capacity for enjoyment.

Brian and I will be with family enjoying the turkey with all the trimmings, sweet potatoes topped with marshmallows and of course, pumpkin pie!

We wish you a fantastic holiday and remind you to savor every bite, every hug and have a fun, and delicious Thanksgiving Feast.

Love,

Arielle

Making “impossible” POSSIBLE

Manifesting our heart’s desire doesn’t always happen instantly, magically, or effortlessly.

It rarely happens that way.

It can often be a long, circuitous route.

In fact, it’s normal, to sometimes get to the point where you say to yourself:

“It’s just too hard.”

“It isn’t meant to be.”

Blah. Blah. Blah.

And, then, it’s up to YOU to re-ignite your passion and persistence, to take daily steps to make your dreams come true.

The Universe is supporting you, even when, especially when, you can’t see or feel that.

This is why it’s sooooo important to do daily feelingizations – close your eyes, drop from your head to your heart, re-experience feelings of love, appreciation and gratitude (deeply), remember that on the unseen plane, what you’ve asked for IS already YOURS and luxuriate in the joy of your wish fulfilled.

Every day make sure to take baby steps of action towards your goal.  Don’t get caught up in having to know the HOW it’s all going to come together.

That is not your job.

Your job is to stay in alignment with your soul’s desire and to co-create with the Universe.

Remember that the word “impossible” really means “I’m Possible.”

Now get out there and live like you believe this, and soon you will be jumping for joy as the results roll in.

Wishing you love, laughter & magical kisses,

Arielle

Are You Highly Sensitive?

One of the biggest AHA moments of my life was when I discovered that I wasn’t crazy…. I found out that being super sensitive to loud noises and bright lights (and more) is actually a condition with a name – it’s called being a Highly Sensitive Person (HSP).

What a relief it was to discover not only a name for my peculiar reactions to life, but that there are also solutions. (Some are below!)

About 20% of the population is born with heightened sensitivities. One definition of HSP is described as having hypersensitivity to external stimuli, a greater depth of cognitive processing, and high emotional reactivity.

How do you know if you are an HSP?

  • You become overwhelmed from too much stimulation.
  • You feel drained from emotionally charged situations.
  • You have sensitivity to loud noises, certain smells, or bright lights.
  • You are susceptible to feeling other people’s negative emotions in your body such as anger or stress.

For someone born with heightened sensitivities, your path to creating your dream life can be filled with ease, grace and flow OR it can be a hard journey of struggle, hard work and burnout.

Other signs of being an HSP include:

  • Patterns of behavior that you keep repeating over and over again that prevent you from having what you want.
  • Self-sabotaging success, or finding yourself procrastinating to take action towards a goal even when you have a viable plan.
  • Having a cycle of working really hard and burning out before you reach a goal.

When you are on the path of hard work and burnout, it means that you are subconsciously making decisions and taking actions based on your inner voice of fear and criticism. This voice of fear will alternately tell you to hold back and not take a chance and then tell you that you should be working harder. This leaves you feeling stuck, frustrated and depleted.

Here’s a simple exercise you can do to override this fear-based voice and instead listen to your empowering voice of confidence which will lead you on the path of ease and flow.

Think of someone you really admire and respect, and write down all the qualities you really love and respect about them. Then in detail describe how this person demonstrates the qualities you love about them. You will notice that the qualities that really resonate with you about the person you respect are the qualities people admire most about you and see in YOU.

Now close your eyes and feel these special qualities inside yourself. Think of all the evidence in how you demonstrate them into the world.  THESE special qualities ARE the key to how you get on the path of creating your dream life with ease and flow. When you are resonating the most beautiful qualities of your soul, you make decisions that are empowering and authentic.

If you are a highly sensitive person and want to know the simple four-step formula that creates your dream life with ease and flow, then please join my friend, HSP expert Debbie Lynn Grace, on November 9 for a complimentary webinar. To register, CLICK here.

 

Wishing you love, laughter & magical kisses,

Arielle

Don’t Blame the Victim

A big part of having success with the Law of Attraction is understanding that “thoughts are things” and that our feelings, thoughts, and beliefs help to co-create our reality. Other factors that also influence our lives include karma, divine timing, destiny, free will, and that omnipresent reality of “shit happens.”

When something really bad happens to someone – let’s say a serious diagnosis, losing a job, a big car crash, and then a supposedly well-meaning “spiritual friend” asks them, ” What thoughts were you having that would cause this?”…well, this scenario just makes me crazy.

We would never ask an abused toddler, “Hey kid, what thoughts did you have that created these beatings?”

So, unless someone is sitting around thinking, “Wow, wouldn’t it be cool if I manage to get stage 4 colon cancer so I can scare myself and my family and go on a multi-year journey to fight the cancer and maybe live?”

It’s highly unlikely any of us have consciously had that thought or any thought to choose a bad event. So, while it is true that we cause things with our thoughts, fears, and beliefs, it is also true that there are other factors that are at work here.

We all benefit from being more aware and more mindful of our thoughts and as much as possible, try to keep our thoughts positive, but it’s also not useful to “blame the victim,” and kick them when they’re down by suggesting they caused the problem.

We are not privy to their soul’s purpose and path. We don’t know what trials and tribulations they agreed to before incarnating in this lifetime, so let’s do what we signed up for: to be their friend, cheerleader, support system, safe place to land. Let’s hug them with our arms and provide emotional safety for them.

I often tell my closest friends that I am always there for them when they need a place to rant and rave and vent. I can create a safe place for their expression and then bring them back into a loving frequency (and they do the same for me).

Here’s to a kinder, gentler world of loving support for all.

Wishing you love, laughter & magical kisses,

Arielle

Are You Pushing Away Miracles?

There once was a woman who saw on TV that her neighborhood was about to be flooded and the officials said everyone should evacuate.  

She believed that God would save her and she ignored the warning.  

Then a city worker knocked on her door and told her to leave for higher ground and she said no, “God will save me.”

Then the floods came and she had to run up to the second floor to stay dry.  

A boat soon came to her second-story window to rescue her and she said no, “God will save me.”

Then the second floor flooded and she ended up on the roof of her home.  

A helicopter came and she said no, “God will save me.”

Then she was swept away by the rising water and drowned.

When she got to heaven she yelled at God and said, “Why didn’t you save me?”

God said, “I sent you a warning on TV, a warning to your front door, a rescue boat, and a helicopter, why didn’t you listen?”

 

I share this story with you today because I often see people, in their manifesting process, focused on a very specific outcome, not knowing whether or not that outcome will save them or really make them happy.  It’s important to remember that our ultimate goal is happiness and satisfaction and to allow room for surprises and even miracles to occur.

We must stay open to signs, symbols, and helpful people that cross our path.

The road to manifestation is not always a straight line, and in the end, we may manifest something unexpected, but much more fulfilling.

Make room for surprises… and miracles.

Wishing you love, laughter, and magical kisses,

Arielle

Sexual Harassment – Enough Already (my story)

Bill Cosby, Roger Ailes, Harvey Weinstein, Bill O’Reilly… just a few of the high profile sexual predators who were finally exposed.

Not one of them has really, truly apologized for their horrible behavior and the pain and suffering they have caused.

Weinstein blamed it on the “culture of his time.”  As someone who came of age in this culture, there were many times when my “bosses” came on to me sexually in the workplace.

The first time it happened, I was just out of college, working as a photojournalist for a weekly entertainment paper in Fort Lauderdale.  One day, the boss (whose name I have now forgotten, but I do recall he had a huge beer belly and wore white patent leather shoes) walked into my darkroom which was dimly illuminated by a red safelight.  With a sickening sneer on his face, and while grabbing himself, he asked: “Would you like some of this?” I put my hands in the developer pan and told him he if he took one more step I would throw the acid-based chemicals in his face, which sent him running. (I have no idea if this would have done any damage to him or not). It never occurred to me to quit this job that I loved and there was no one to tell.  It was a small staff, run by his much younger wife.

I thought I handled it pretty well considering….

A few years later, I was working for local government and had a boss who was telling other people that we were sleeping together.  The worst part for me was that he was such a dweeb that I was embarrassed that anyone would think that I had sunk so low to be with a creep like him.  This time, I did tell someone – my Dad (a politician) – and he arranged for me to have lunch with a man in the waste removal business known as Big Frankie, to share my story.  The man spreading the rumors, Tommy, was a well-known civic leader.

Over lunch, in a dark Italian restaurant, I shared my story with Big Frankie.  When I walked into my office later that day, the phone was ringing and Tommy was calling to apologize to me, profusely, promising to never do it again.

Another time it happened was when I had my own business and one of my clients would always proposition me by phone.  He was literally begging me to meet him in a hotel while graphically describing in detail what we would be doing.  I didn’t want to give up the client (my business was new, the money was good, and I was doing a great job getting him PR). There was no one to tell, so I figured out a creative way to make it stop.

One day I said to him, “When your wife calls and tells me I have her permission to F$*K your brains out, then I’ll be a yes.”

That was the end of that. He never asked again.

My hope is that the era of women being sexually harassed will be over and the new culture will be one of safety, equality, justice, and fairness.

I am also hoping that these sick men get psychological counseling, mend their ways, and sincerely apologize to all those who have been harmed by their appalling behavior.

Wishing you love, laughter, and magical kisses,

Arielle

OMG, you won’t believe this!

My friend (and my sister Debbie’s dear friend), world-famous medium James Van Praagh called last December to invite me, Bri, and my Mom to visit his new home here in San Diego and he offered us a reading with my sister in heaven, Debbie.  This was an irresistible offer, as it’s now impossible to get private readings with James.

During the reading, Debbie kept asking me if I would write a prayer book with her.  I politely declined.  How in the world would he do that?  We couldn’t possibly impose on James to be a daily intermediary and I didn’t have any desire to figure it out.

During the “reading” lots and lots of relatives from the other side came through and in between these lovely visits, Debbie would pop in, insisting we write a prayer book together.

Eventually, I gave in and said yes, clueless as to how this would happen.

On the drive home, Brian mentioned that he recalled Debbie talking about some prayers she had written and suggested I contact the amazing Julie Stroud, (who to this day runs The Ford Institute along with Kelly Kosow) to see if she had any of these prayers.

Julie, who was Debbie’s right hand everything for years, immediately wrote back and said not only did she have the prayers, she had an entire unpublished manuscript entitled Your Holiness: Discover the Light Within, and it was attached to the email.

What?

Debbie wrote a prayer book and I never knew?

How was that possible?

I immediately read the book – astounded at the wisdom, the beauty, and the brilliance of it.

And, then I called her editor at Harper One, who admitted that he had been feeling guilty for the past several years because he knew that she always wanted to write a prayer book but he talked her out of it.

Well, guess what?

He bought the book and it will be published on March 6th with an introduction from Marianne Williamson.

Here’s what Deepak Chopra has to say about Your Holiness:

Debbie Ford was a spiritual sister, colleague, and teacher to me. This book, discovered as her writings after her passing is an extraordinary journey to higher consciousness. Read it, absorb her insights and you may see the world fresh, vibrant and holy and as if for the first time.”

In two days, this Thursday ONLY, for 24 hours, the e-book version will be on sale for $4.99 as a pre-order.

I will be sending out an email on Thursday with the subject line: Debbie Ford’s Lost Manuscript if you would like to take advantage of it.  (The normal retail price of the e-book will be $11.99.)

Wishing you love, laughter and magical kisses,

Arielle

New, Fast, Fun Ways to MORE Pleasure, Less Stress

I don’t know about you, but lately, it seems that everyone I know is totally stressed out, not just from their own lives, but from the “frequency in the field” – hurricane disasters, political nightmares, money worries, illness, etc.

Even if you are safe, dry, and your life is peachy right now, chances are you are picking up on the energies of those around you.

It’s almost unavoidable.

This is why I’m such a big advocate for all of us to become daily “pleasure puppies” and find ways each day to consciously choose to reduce our stress levels and add more pleasure.

For women, this means doing things that build oxytocin (the cuddling/bonding hormone), and for men, this means ways to build testosterone.

I’ve been doing more research and here are some new ways to do both:

To rebuild oxytocin, ladies, try this:

  • Tell someone you love them.
  • Share a meal.
  • Pray and/or meditate.
  • Volunteer and donate to charity.
  • Cuddle your pets.
  • Get and give 8 hugs a day.
  • Share an adrenaline rush (roller coaster anyone?)
  • Get onto social media – YES – Facebook is good for you!

Men, to rebuild testosterone try this:

  • Exercise, especially weight lifting, and high-intensity interval training.
  • Play or watch your favorite sport on TV.
  • Do the Power Pose: Stand with legs shoulder-width apart. Put your hands into fists on your waist (Like Superman), tilt your chin up and look at the ceiling and for two solid minutes shout out empowering phrases such as: I am strong, I am courageous, I am powerful, I am energized, I am on purpose, etc.

And one activity that builds both oxytocin and testosterone is to have sex with someone you love!

Wishing you love, laughter and magical kisses,

Arielle