Be A Pleasure Pig – Part Two


A few weeks ago I introduced you to the concept of living life like our cat Yoda does, as a Pleasure Pig.


We talked about all the ways to give yourself more pleasure in order to build oxytocin in your brain (while reducing stress).  Oxytocin is known as the “cuddling hormone” and having more of it makes life more pleasurable.


Many of you instantly decided the way to more pleasure is eating more of your favorite foods….and while I think indulging in treats is super pleasurable, we also want to stay mindful of being healthy and doing it in moderation.


Food trayA daily pig out on chocolate or ice cream or diet coke is not what I was suggesting.  It’s up to you to decide just how often (and how much) of these tasty treats, makes sense for you.


And, while we are on the topic of pleasure and food, here are some suggestions:

  • Make every meal and snack special.  Rather than stand at the kitchen sink eating cereal out of a box, or crunching on an apple, try this: On a pretty tray, or placemat, use a beautiful china dish or bowl, slice the apple, sprinkle a little cinnamon on it, get out the nice silverware and a cloth napkin, put a flower in a little vase, and create an atmosphere of delight, ALL FOR YOU, all the time.
  • Take the time to really taste your food. Use all of your senses and make eating a true experience.  Savor every bite!
  • When grocery shopping, rather than speeding through aisles, take your time in the produce section…when you pick up the fruit and veggies, smell them, feel their vibration before gently placing them in your shopping cart.  (And you singles, I have two girlfriends who met their husbands in the produce section of markets while they were doing this because the men were enchanted with how sensuously and carefully they selected their veggies!)


Brian wine sunset

Brian is a lover of fine wine and craft beer.  One of his favorite activities is to go to the local specialty shop to discuss the newest and greatest wines with the owner. After he selects his bottle, he comes home and then pours it into his favorite crystal, oversized wine glass.  (When we go to dinner parties, he not only brings his own wine, he also travels with his favorite glass to drink it from!)  When he decides to have a beer, he goes to the freezer to pull out his cold and frosty favorite schooner to drink it from.   He has mastered the art of being a pleasure pig!


Please share with me how you are becoming a pleasure pig by posting comments and photos at


Wishing you love, laughter and magical kisses,


5 Ways to Heal Your Broken Heart

My good friend and colleague, licensed psychotherapist Katherine Woodward Thomas, MA, MFT is like me – devoted to helping people find the love of their lives…


And in her work with thousands of women and men, Katherine has found that sometimes it’s a breakup that allows us to do just that.


She pioneered this new and healing way to navigate the ending of a relationship, a way to consciously uncouple with the kind of compassion, kindness and courage that will not only heal your heart, but open you up to creating deeper love in the future.


CU affiliate_300x250Katherine developed the Conscious Uncoupling Process five years ago and has refined it every year until it has become the most powerful, proven and effective approach to parting ways more and more people are discovering every day.


And today she’s letting me share with you the 5 core steps that make Conscious Uncoupling possible, so that you or someone you know can begin to heal from past or present heartbreak:


  • Don’t Give in to Hate: Instead, find or create a safe space for you to deeply feel, witness, and stop fighting challenging emotions so that you can begin to shift them and use their energy for good.
  • Take Responsibility for Your Part in the End of Your Relationship: When you uncover disempowering scripts you hold inside you that have caused your suffering, then you can learn to reframe them into empowered self-reflection, aligning yourself with your deepest truth and power.
  • Heal the Original Hurt in Your Heart: Identify the initial wounding you experienced, and the underlying beliefs you adopted to cope with that wounding. These beliefs have probably been cropping up in your current relationships, sabotaging your chance at true happiness.
  • Clear the Air: It’s powerfully healing to clear the air between you and your former partner. By simply talking-even over the phone-and listening openly to how each of you felt impacted by the other, and not being reactive, you can actually clear away the hurts and resentments.
  • Be Proactive: Rather than waiting for time to heal your broken heart, know that you can be proactive in your own healing, transforming your pain into grace, happiness and the power to reinvent your life.


There’s no one more skilled or experienced than Katherine in being able to guide you through this process and take these steps, and if you or a loved one could benefit from exploring them more deeply with her, then I can’t recommend her free mini-course highly enough:

The Conscious Uncoupling Introductory Course

How to Avoid the 5 Most-Common Breakup Mistakes that

Cause Suffering, Steal Joy, and Prevent Future Love


Wishing you all the love and joy in the world!



Why Your Dream Is Already A Reality

The core basis of my belief and understanding about manifestation (whether you are manifesting love, a car, a new career, or a new little black dress) is this:


There is no “time.” The past, present, and future all happen simultaneously.


When we have a desire for something, it’s because some part of us “already knows that this is possible for us,” on an unseen level.

Your dream is not some random thing out there some where, it is already in existence, calling upon you to dream it into your existence.


To do this, we must be willing to own and embrace the dream or desire and then take the necessary, appropriate action steps to bring it into 3-D reality.


The secret sauce for this is what I call feelingizations, a process to get out of your head and into your heart to deeply feel that what you have asked for IS already yours.


In 1944, Max Planck, the father of quantum theory, explained that there is a Universal field of energy that connects everything and everyone and he called this the Divine Matrix.


According to my amazing friend, Gregg Braden, author of The Divine Matrix: Bridging Time, Space, Miracles and Belief:


“The Divine Matrix is our world.

It is also everything in our world.

It is us and all that we love, hate, create and experience.

Living in the Divine Matrix, we are as artists expressing our innermost passions, fears, dreams and desires through the essence of a mysterious quantum canvas.

But we are the canvas, as well as the images upon the canvas.

We’re the paints, as well as the brushes.

In the Divine Matrix, we are the container

Within which all things exist, the bridge between

The creations of our inner and outer worlds,

And the mirror that shows us what we have created.

In the Divine Matrix, you are the seed of the miracle as well as the miracle itself.”


Remember the key to manifesting is to feel as though your dream or desire is accomplished and your prayers are already answered.


Wishing you love, laughter and magical kisses,



Are You In A Season of Love Or Loneliness? What To Do…

I have always found Vedic Astrology to be a useful tool in understanding how the planets are impacting my life and helpful in making decisions.  More often than not, it provides a good explanation from what I am intuitively feeling about how things are going.  One of my favorite astrologers is my dear friend and love expert, Carol Allen.  She recently sent out a newsletter about the impact that Saturn is currently having on love relationships (whether you are in one or seeking one!)  I invited her to share her wisdom with you today.  Please enjoy:


CarolAllenAs an astrologer, two kinds of clients seek my services: singles wanting to know exactly WHEN, WHERE and HOW they’ll meet their soulmate.


(And their name and phone number…)


And couples frustrated with their relationship, wondering how to make it better (or if they should run…).


Usually it’s not their fault – the singles are astrologically “blocked” from finding true love and the couples are feeling especially challenged – for the time being – by the most notorious of all planets, SATURN.


When Saturn takes “center stage” in your stars it creates a “lonely, loveless” phase, wrongly causing you to feel defective or even cursed…


If you’re thinking, “That’s how I feel! Doomed to suffer in love forever – like the Universe HATES me!”


Let me be so brazen as to speak on behalf of the Universe…


It doesn’t hate you – in fact, you’ll look back on this time as one of the most important, powerful of your life…


When you grow the most, and become the best partner you can, ensuring that when love DOES come, you’ll be truly ready – or take your current relationship to the “next level.”


There’s a bigger “plan” you just can’t see yet…


These are clues you’re in a “Cycle of Saturn”:


  1. You’re running in place financially and socially – or going into debt
  2. You’re unusually burdened by responsibilities and losses
  3. You’re feeling rejected by or separated from those you love most


Saturn teaches us we aren’t super-human; we need to ask for help and grow up and “correct” anything not working in our lives.


Giving up bad habits, improving our skills, and seeking out expert support are all things that make these cycles some of the most life-changing and helpful ever.


Turning to spiritual practices (like those in Arielle’s awesome books!) and self-care can actually make this a very meaningful, positive time.


Especially cultivating healthy spiritual detachment (this, too, shall pass!) and gratitude are key – and honoring yourself and what you need.


To determine if and when YOU are in a love-blocking “Cycle of Saturn” check out a personalized, 30-year report to tell you all of this and more, including:

  • How to make the most of the many different phases and versions of these cycles so you can prepare and avoid problems.
  • What to do in a particularly bad cycle of Saturn so that you don’t expose yourself to even MORE heartache and disappointment.
  • When Saturn is on your side, helping to foster more love, abundance, and good fortune.

You can find out in mere minutes when you order your custom, guaranteed “Cycle of Saturn” report right now at this link.


Don’t sit around wondering if there’s something wrong with you, and when you’ll FINALLY feel better about your life, your romantic prospects, or relationship…


Wishing you love, laughter and magical kisses,



Prayers for Love & Resolution

UnknownEven in the best relationships, there are days when the you-know-what hits the fan and communication breakdowns and hurt feelings seem overwhelming. For times like this I pray for clarity and guidance.  I’ve often wished I had a book full of prayers for every conceivable situation and finally one has appeared!


My dear friend, Sonia Choquette, has written the exact book I have been wishing for.  It called: Uplifting Prayers to Light Your Way, 200 Invocations for Difficult Times.  This book is a powerfully soothing companion when facing challenging moments in life. Each beautiful prayer immediately calms inner storms, awakens the light within, and reconnects you with the ever-loving presence of God. It is a gift of light and love to own, to share, and to reach for any time you feel lost or uncertain.


Here are just two of the two hundred prayers:


Loving Fully

Holy Mother-Father God,
Divine Loving Light and Heart of the Universe,
I humbly ask for the healing power of your grace
to keep my heart fully open, even though I know it
may be broken if I do. Grant me the grace to love with
the entirety of my being, even if my love is not returned.
Grant me the courage to love fully, even when
my beloveds do not receive my love. Please send in
your angels to help me love myself through it all, no
matter what. I thank you in advance, with my whole
heart and soul, for answering my prayer and offering
these blessings.
Amen and with infinite gratitude.


Resolving Differences

Holy Mother-Father God,
Divine Loving Light and Heart of the Universe,
I humbly ask for the healing power of your grace
to help me find peace with those people in my life
with whom I can’t seem to get along. I pray that we
can let go of our differences and find understanding
and acceptance in place of the strife and animosity we
now have between us. Please send in your angels to
help pave a bridge of mutual respect so that we may
meet in the middle and come to a place of peaceful
cooperation. I thank you in advance, with my whole
heart and soul, for this healing.
Amen and with infinite gratitude.


This book is filled with deeply healing invocations that calm your spirit, re-connect you to God, and lead you to inner peace and strength, no matter what difficulties you may be facing right now. Reach for it at any time you feel uncertain, ungrounded, afraid, or unloved and it will immediately soothe and reassure your soul. You can buy it here!


Wishing you love, laughter and magical kisses,



Be A Pleasure Pig

Our cat Yoda is nicknamed “the pleasure pig.” Yoda demands massive amounts of attention, belly rubs, cheek scratches, and snacks of his favorite baby food, which we called “Yoda’s Crack.” The other day I was watching Brian give Yoda his yoga stretching massage and was silently wishing that I was as good at demanding pleasure as Yoda is!

Yoda Bri

I think it’s safe to say that there is always room in life for more love and more pleasure. And, whether you have a partner or not, there are lots of ways to activate and create more loving and pleasurable feelings.

Here’s how:

When you want to feel more love, you can consciously do it by actively releasing the hormone oxytocin into your brain. Known as the “bonding” chemical, oxytocin is really good for you. According to love master Dr. John Gray, women need to constantly rebuild their “oxytocin” levels. Oxytocin is the bonding hormone essential for women in their ability to give and receive love.

Taking time for mani-pedi’s, getting your hair done, receiving massages, taking long, warm bubble baths, listening to music, dancing, walking in nature, a quiet cup of tea, a perfect piece of chocolate (or your favorite treat)….these are a few ways to add pleasure to your daily life that also rebuild oxytocin.

Oxytocin can be generated lots of ways and the more you have, the better you will feel. Not surprisingly, it plays a big role in producing orgasms.

Stress is one of the main reasons we become depleted in oxytocin, so taking simple steps to rebuild it is necessary to maintain a happy, healthy lifestyle.

It’s well known that a simple hug, gazing into the eyes of someone you care about or petting your dog or cat will also boost your oxytocin level. And, going shopping also does the trick. Even if you don’t buy anything, just looking and touching beautiful items makes a difference.

My personal “pleasure recipe” includes a daily bath with aromatherapy, an early morning walk with my husband, and one-on-one time with my cat. If I have a particularly stressful day, I have a special CD of favorite dance tunes that I crank up in my office and I dance and sing (all by myself) until I feel the endorphins surging through me.

If consciously adding pleasure to your daily life doesn’t come naturally to you, I would suggest a little experiment: For the next 7 days, decide to add at least 15-20 minutes of pleasure…all for you. By taking the time to add pleasure to your life, you will be calmer, happier, and more receptive to enjoying and attracting love at every level.

And, as you create your To-Do list, put YOU on the top of that list, then let me know what happens!

Remember, what you put your attention on grows. Add more pleasure and oxytocin to your brain and your life to add more love on every level and become a pleasure pig like Yoda!

Wishing you love, laughter and magical kisses,


3 Keys To Being a GREAT Soulmate

We all know that nurturing and growing Big Love requires us to be present with our partner and to consciously provide them with our love, time, affection, appreciation, and heaps of kindness. And in order to do that, it’s necessary to remember that we first need to fill up our own tank.

Big LoveToday is a gentle reminder that self-love and self-care are essential components of Big Love.

Here are 3 golden keys to consider:

1)     Write yourself a lavish love letter. Acknowledge all your goodness and thank your body, mind and spirit for all the ways it supports your life and your soul.

2)     Take plenty of “me” time, then go and do fun, new, playful activities with yourself. Anything that brings you happiness!

3)     Build your oxytocin levels (the bonding hormone) by giving and getting more hugs, getting mani/pedi’s, going shopping (you don’t have to buy, just touching and feeling beautiful things works), getting a massage, having your hair done, or hanging out with friends, all of these work!

When you put yourself and your partner FIRST, nobody comes in second!

Wishing you love, laughter and magical kisses,


It’s OK to go to bed angry

imagesI’ve just returned from a fabulous five-day visit to Rancho La Puerta in Tecate, Mexico where I attended a meeting of the Transformational Leadership Council with about 100 friends. We spent our days hiking, exercising, having spa treatments, eating healthy organic food and listening to presentations from some amazing experts in the personal growth field.

One of our speakers, Dr. Pepper Schwartz, author of Snap Strategies for Couples: 40 Fast Fixes for Everyday Relationship Pitfalls, shared some really useful relationship tips including her belief about the old myth “couples should never go to bed angry.”

Now this probably sounds counter intuitive, but Pepper says that fighting when we are exhausted and tired can (and often does) lead to what she calls “escalating.” This is when you say extreme things and make decisions that can ultimately destroy your relationship. She says it’s better to go to bed mad, get a good night’s sleep and revisit the issue the next day when you are both rested and thinking more clearly.

Pepper is a well-known and highly respected Professor of Sociology at the University of Washington, where she teaches classes on human sexuality and intimate relationships and she is also the author of 22 books.

One of the other “myths” she busted for couples is the honesty is the best policy one. She believes that “confessions” are for criminals and priests and that complete honesty is both cruel and destructive. If you have done something that you feel must be “confessed” she recommends doing it with a professional.

One of the most important components of a long and happy relationship is kindness. While this may seem obvious, it’s the daily practice of kindness that must be remembered. Before the words leave your mouth, ask yourself, “Is what I am about to say true? Is it kind? Is it necessary?”


Because once you say something, it can never be “unsaid.”

Wishing you love, laughter and magical kisses,


Love Will Find You

The first time I met Alex Garrett, he was seven years old and chatting me up during my book signing in NY’s east village. He very articulately explained his plans to become a sports broadcaster and I quickly learned what a remarkable human being he is. Today, at age 23, he indeed works in the radio biz on AM 970 and AM 570.

Last year Alex was having a typical day rollerblading through New York City on his one leg, when he was photographed for the website Jordan Farr, a fan of the site, saw Alex’s photo, read his story, tracked him down via Facebook and sent him a message saying, “I can’t even roller blade on two legs.” Intrigued, Alex wrote her back.

“When she responded the second time with a bubbly message and started telling me about herself, I knew that she was what I was looking for in a woman, someone who can be as open with me as I am with her.”

Alex arranged a meeting and discovered a woman who is ‘quirky and fun’ and says “I instantly fell in love with her.”

After their first date he told his friends, “Guys, this girl is truly amazing.”

Upon meeting Alex, Jordan’s response was, “Oh, he’s so cute and such a bad ass! (in a good way).”

They have now been together for nearly a year.

“She is my soulmate and she has it all, brains, beauty and fun,” says Alex.

You never know when, where, or how, you will meet your soulmate, but I promise you this: it won’t be when you are sitting at home alone on the couch watching reality TV.

Get out there.

Get visible.

Pay attention to the ones that are paying attention to you.

And remember this TRUTH I learned from my grandmother:

“There is a lid for every pot!”

Wishing you love, laughter and magical kisses,


3 Ways Menopause CAN improve Your Love Life

My good friend, Ellen Dolgen, is on a mission to educate women about menopause, and today she has graciously shared with us an important message. Please enjoy!


Hand me a microphone, ladies! I’ve got an announcement – menopause can improve your love life!

Ellen DolgenSure, when I entered peri-menopause, I never thought I’d say that. Like many women, I was irritable, sweaty, sleepless, and felt like a permanent fog had taken over my brain. Not to mention my vagina suddenly fled to the Sahara desert. Yes, it was dry and parched! I had no idea what was happening-let alone how to get the help I needed.

I learned that what I was experiencing wasn’t just normal. It was fixable!

Here are three ways to throw your love life into high gear:

1.    Be Confident

My menopausal journey has given me the most attractive quality around: confidence. I love myself. To be the woman I want to be, both for the people I love and for myself, I have learned to put myself at the top of my To-Do List. I take care of myself with the same commitment with which I care for my family and friends!  Confidence is sexy! It has unleashed joy and a renewed sense of self and freedom.

2.   Shed Your Inhibitions

“Women always try to tame themselves as they get older, but the ones that look best are often a bit wilder. Thinking about age all the time is the biggest prison women can make for themselves,” Miuccia Prada once said. Get wild – be free and uninhibited in and out of the bedroom.Explore new places to make love – every room offers new opportunities.   Try out some new positions and sensual stimulation (candles, toys, massage oils, lingerie just to name a few). The sky is the limit! Let loose!

3.   Have A Happy Vagina

I’m not about to stay hush-hush about my vagina. It’s a beautiful part of me and as such I’ve learned to listen to my vagina.If you find that you’re all lubed up and sex is still “meh,” it’s time to find-and treat-the root cause of any pain.

Communication is the key to any healthy relationship, so don’t be embarrassed to tell your partner what you need in and out of the bedroom! Spice it up!

In fact, research published in the American Journal of Medicine shows that women’s sexual satisfaction actually tends to increase with age, even despite the hormonal throws of menopause.

When you are selfish in the sack, your partner doesn’t have to worry that you’re not enjoying yourself-he can see that you are! Be greedy and both of you will have better sex. Yes, please!

Take responsibility for your own orgasm – you are deserving of pleasure! Explore your own body and then tell your partner what feels good for you. BTW faking orgasms will guarantee that your sex life with your partner will not improve. Remember, you are deserving of pleasure, so be honest (not mean!) and you can increase your chances for a fulfilling sex life for both of you.

Ladies, it’s time to take back our bedrooms! During our menopausal years, our sex lives have so much from which they can benefit: a strong sense of self, deep relationships, and bodies we actually know how to use! “The big O” does not mean “the big Ouch.” Nip your vaginal dryness in the bud and you’ll really have something to celebrate. Recapture the rapture in bed.


Be sure to download Ellen’s new FREE eBook, MENOPAUSE MONDAYS: The Girlfriend’s Guide to Surviving and Thriving During Perimenopause and Menopause for more tips!

Wishing you love, laughter and magical kisses,


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