MORE of You Are Enough, I Am Enough

Of all the newsletters I’ve ever written, the recent one about “being enough” has gotten the most response.  I was so surprised to learn that this is such a big issue for so many people (including me).

Did you know that this is an actual “phobia”?  It’s called Atelophobia – it’s the fear of imperfection and of not being good enough. There are now drugs to deal with the anxiety caused by this – oy vey!

This craving to be “enough” stems from the stories we make up about ourselves and the messages we get from society.  Early on we learn that if we act a particular way, get  good grades in school, win at sports, or give hugs to crazy Aunt Sophie, we receive praise from those around us.  We get “attention” and we begin to connect “love” with “actions.”

I Am Enough

Many of us have learned to believe that “I am enough when I do ___________.”

And, really, the truth is just our very beingness makes us more than enough.

Now, it’s up to us, as mature adults, to begin to make this a practice when the negative chatter in our head preaches that we need to do more, do better, etc. When I look at my cat, I never think, “If only Yoda would do ______ then I would love him more.” I love Yoda just because he is alive and with us (and it’s possible Yoda doesn’t share this point of view and he might love me more if I spoiled him as much as Brian does…ha ha!).

Writer/blogger Alexandra Hope Flood offers 11 steps to reminding us all that we are ENOUGH:

1. You are a miracle. Never forget this fact. Just the science alone is mind blowing.

2. You are unique. No one will ever be as good at being you as you are. Seriously.

3. You are enough. Always. Never doubt this. There is nothing to add, but feel free to expand.

4. There is always more to learn, but that is not failure, it is a gift. It can be fun too.

5. Every obstacle is an opportunity to fall further into the miracle that is you.

6. Commit to being the best version of you every day. Recalibrate the definition of “best” as needed.

7. Leave room for others when they fall off the wagon of their own miracle.

8. Forgive. Forgive. Forgive. Forgive every which way. Forgive him. Forgive her. Forgive you.

9. Compassion is the key to forgiveness. Compassion means you feel the humanity in others.

10. The more you forgive, the more you’ll enjoy being you, because the lighter your load will be.

11. In the end, as in the beginning: You. Are. Amazing.

One of my favorite lines is from the classic film, The Help (starring Viola Davis, Octavia Spencer & Jessica Chastain).  Everyday, the maid tells the little girl in her care:

“You is kind. You is smart. You is important.”

Remember this!

Wishing you love, laughter and magical kisses,

 Arielle

It’s TONIGHT!!!!

I never intended to become a love and relationship expert.

 

If you had told me ten years ago I would end up here, I would have said you were crazy!

 

And yet, the Universe had a plan for me and I am super-grateful on how my life has unfolded.

 

My mission is simply to provide all those who are seeking a soulmate, and also give to those who want to grow and sustain a relationship, all of the best available information on the planet. Besides writing books and teaching workshops, every year I have the awesome pleasure of creating a free, online event!

 

My 6th annual Art of Love Series starts today at 5 pm PT / 8 pm ETand I couldn’t be more excited. This year the Series is targeted for SINGLES and it’s a free event bringing together the world’s top love, dating & mating experts who share EVERYTHING about how and where to find all the great, conscious people out there who are also looking for you!

 

I promise you there is content here you have NEVER heard before, the knowing of which will skyrocket you into love. Claire Zammit and I will kick it off LIVE today (with Marianne Williamson!) at 5 pm PT / 8 pm ET. 

 

Sign up now!

1200x628 Banner-Arielle Ford

 

 

MEN – while the target audience is women, below are just some of the sessions that apply to BOTH men & women:

  • Deepak Chopra – Activating Synchrodestiny To Attract Soul Love
  • Attached! With Dr. Amir Levine who has groundbreaking work on attachment styles…learn how to “spot” the ones who can truly commit, quickly!
  • Orna and Matthew Walters on now to Become Magnetic to Your Soulmate
  • How To Release Your Love Blocks & Burn Your Baggage
  • Two workshops on online dating that supply the secrets to success and making it a fun & sacred process. (1 in 3 marriages now start online).
  • Marci Shimoff on “Unlocking the Magnetic Power of Self-Love and Happiness”
  • Accessing Mystical Love with your Angels and Numerology with Sunny Dawn Johnston and Glynis McCants….AND MORE!

 

Sign up for free right now at THE ART OF LOVE!

 

Wishing you love, laughter and magical kisses,

Arielle

 

P.S. If you are ‘waiting” for the right time to start dating, please remember that who you are RIGHT NOW is enough!  AND, if you miss us LIVE, register anyway and we will send you the replay link.

Love As An Art Form

Love is an art and you are the artist.

How, when, and where you express your love is your medium.

Your words and deeds can light up someone’s day or toss them into the depths of despair.

Love is much more than just a feeling.

Original art by www.sharronkatz.com

Original art by www.sharronkatz.com

So many of us depend on our feelings to tell us if we are “loving” someone.

The truth about love is that it is an action.

Love is a choice.

Love is a connection.

Love is a decision.

Love is a practice.

Love is a behavior.

Love is the juiciest part of life.

Love opens our hearts, expands our world and brings a smile to our lips.

For love, we make commitments and agreements to share our life with another.

When we pledge our love to another we say to them:

I will love you on your good days and your bad days.

 I will be your safe place to land.

 I will share with you my attention, affection, and appreciation.

Love is as much about giving as it is about receiving.

It’s about being willing to forgive and love is also about truth-telling.

And it’s about loving yourself.

Love is God.

Love is WHO we are.

Love is why we are here.

And in the end, love is an art and you are the artist.

How, where, and when you express, share, and shower your love onto the world (and yourself) will be your legacy and your masterpiece.

Wishing you love, laughter, and magical kisses,

 Arielle

You Are Enough. I am Enough.

It seems like nearly everyone I know is in the midst of a physical and emotional transformation, myself included. Symptoms range from serious challenges (cancer, Lyme disease, etc.) to very annoying (but not life-threatening) things like chronic headaches, vertigo, reflux, food sensitivities, parasites, blood flow, sleeplessness, etc.).

 

As I deal with my own issues, while having spent thousands of dollars during the past five years on western, eastern medical treatments, woo-woo energetic healings, medical intuitives, EFT release techniques, herbs, aromatherapy, homeopathic remedies, flower remedies, cleanses, acupuncture, vitamins, consultants and just about anything else you can dream up, my chronic conditions are still there.  Every treatment helps a little, but is not a cure.

 

Looking into my own psyche and observing my friends in the same boat, I see a pattern:  We are all very driven creatives who enjoy producing results, making a difference in the world. That is the “outer” part of it.

 

findloveGoing deeper, it’s clear that we are also trying, sometimes desperately, to fill up parts of our soul.  Seeking love in the form of our success.  The way we fill these holes is different with each of us.  Certainly ego plays a big role.  My identity is still tied to my outer abilities.

 

Busyness is also a big piece of this.  I recently diagnosed myself with what I call “chronic shpilkes.”   Shpilkes is a Yiddish word that means having “ants in your pants.” It also means impatience and agitation. You might also call it an “adrenalin addiction.”

 

While my soul is clearly screaming for a kinder, gentler, more peaceful day-to-day existence, and while my mind knows, believes, and understands that I can “do less and accomplish more,” the reality is that I often am still in overdoing mode.

 

As are my friends.

 

Here’s what I know for sure about this:

 

It’s not about having “more.”

 

It’s not about having more organic juices, more yoga classes, more money, more results, more success, more books, more sex, more this or more that.

 

It’s about really, truly getting to enough.

 

I am enough.

 

You are enough.

 

I now see that nobody out there has the “cure” to my issue because nothing is wrong. This is my journey to figure out.

 

The question that I am now sitting with is:

 

What will it take for me to get to knowing and being that I am enough?

 

Wishing you love, laughter and magical kisses,

 

Arielle

A Love Manifesto

More than 25 years ago, my therapist held a mirror in front of my face and asked me to look into my own eyes and say the words “I Love You.”

I was instantly engulfed in a wave of sadness and despair and whispered, “I can’t do that, it would be a lie.” He was kind and patient and urged me just to try it. Every time I tried to say it, I just cried harder. Eventually, I managed to mouth the words, but still it felt inauthentic….

imagesThat began a long, slow process of learning to love myself. The process of letting go of decades of self-loathing and self-doubt was hard. Painful, and yet totally worth it.

So often people ask me “Do I have to love myself in order to have soulmate love?” It’s a tricky question because nearly everyone I know (with or without a soulmate) has levels of self-doubt and insecurity about their worthiness to have love.

Here’s what I know to be absolutely true: 

We all have people that love us, we all have qualities that are very loveable. Even murderers and rapists have redeeming qualities, and yes, we are happy they are behind bars and no longer pose a threat to society.

Learning to love ourselves requires commitment.

A commitment to be an emotionally mature adult so that when we catch ourselves beating ourselves up, we stop, take notice, say “cancel-cancel” and replace those negative thoughts with a true, positive statement about ourselves.

Most of us are living under levels of stress and chaos that are often overwhelming because we allow ourselves to exist with out proper levels of self-care and self-love. I believe the first step to self-care is leaning how to “self-soothe.”

Another important piece of this is to finally stop “shoulding” on your self. You know what I mean, “I should do this and I should do that.” “Shoulding” on your self just creates more dread and stress on an already busy life.

One suggestion I have for you is this:

Create your own emotional tool kit of things you can do to regain your sanity when things go haywire. Figure out what are your best “time-outs” that will get you from crazy to neutral to happy again. My kit contains EFT Tapping, the Sedona Method, doing heart lock-in’s, long aromatherapy baths, walks in nature, and foot rubs. I do some or all of these things nearly every day.

Here’s what I know for sure: You are loved. You are loveable. You are deserving of Big Love, every day. And it all begins with you.

Wishing you love, laughter, and magical kisses,

Arielle

P.S.If you are a single, successful woman seeking a conscious man (or if you have friends that are), then I have a special Spring gift for you – my annual Art of Love Series is coming up. This free, online series is bringing together the world’s top love, dating & mating experts who share EVERYTHING about how and where to find all the great, conscious guys out there who are also looking for you! Sign up for free right now at THE ART OF LOVE!

Be A LOVE Junkie (naturally)

Artwork by www.sharronkatz.com

Artwork by www.sharronkatz.com

Yes, it’s finally Spring – the happy season of birds singing, bees buzzing and people falling madly in love.

Every April your brain unwittingly becomes a dopamine factory, turning you into a love junkie. In fact, brain scans of people flooded with dopamine look a lot like brain scans of drug addicts. Which makes sense, since being high on dopamine feels, as many lovers would put it, euphoric.

My friend, Helen Fisher, a neuroscientist, professor at Rutgers University, and author of five books on the science of love, explains it this way:

“Dopamine is a naturally occurring chemical your brain uses to make you want things. There are other systems involved in love, but when it comes to new love, dopamine is the main culprit. And with enough of it swirling around your system, you’re prone to fall in love — and fall hard.”

So what does this have to do with Spring?

According to Fisher, “dopamine is triggered by novel experiences and there’s so much novelty in the spring…so much more color, new smells, people take their clothes off and you can see more of them. And so there is a lot of new stimuli that triggers the brain and drives up dopamine, and makes you more susceptible to love.”

For those of you lucky enough to already be with your soulmate, use the energy of Spring to try some new and novel things together and take advantage of the Spring dopamine rush! (I am hoping for a hot air balloon experience!)

If you are a single, successful woman seeking a conscious man (or it you have friends that are), then I have a special Spring gift for you – my annual Art of Love Series is coming up. This free, online series is bringing together the world’s top love, dating & mating experts who share EVERYTHING about how and where to find all the great, conscious guys out there who are also looking for you! Sign up for free right now at THE ART OF LOVE.

Wishing you love, laughter and magical kisses,

Arielle

Dreams really DO come true

I want for you what YOU want for you.

Want more money, a new career, better health?  I want that for you too!

If you desire a soulmate, YES, I want that for you as well.

Some people have generously referred to me as the Fairy Godmother of Love.

And I do have a magic wand, but it only works when I am manifesting for myself.

Since I can’t personally grant your wishes (if only I could!), what I can do is consistently share with you what I know works for me and many of my friends when it comes to manifesting desires.

My dear friend and colleague, Claire Zammit, recently turned me on to a short, 4 minute video that explains the real “science” behind manifesting…. not the “woo-woo” stuff, but the actual, what happens in your brain when you begin to shift your thoughts, beliefs and perhaps most importantly, the way you talk to yourself (and others!)

Please check out this video and see for yourself the simple technique to making your own dreams come true.

Wishing you love, laughter and magical kisses,

 

Arielle

Secrets to Lifetime Love

Reagan 2-9Soulmates Nancy and Ronald Reagan shared an adoration for each other that was evident to all those who observed them.

They married in 1952 when he was already in his 40’s, and their romance spanned more than half a century.  During his lifetime, his love for her was captured in more than 700 love letters, including these:

“My darling, I love you so much I don’t even mind that life made me wait so long to find you. The waiting only made the feeling sweeter.”

In a letter to Nancy on their thirty-first wedding anniversary, he wrote:

“I more than love you, I’m not whole without you. You are life itself to me. When you are gone, I’m waiting for you to return so I can start living again.”

ReagansWhat the public saw was a couple intensely devoted to one another. They were always holding hands. Ronald Reagan visibly lit up when Nancy entered the room. And then there was the “gaze” – Nancy would look adoringly at her husband when he spoke, seeming to hang on his every word. Theirs was a genuine love affair. They never took each other for granted, and it has been said that they never stopped courting.

They truly could not bear to be apart. They were always devoted to each other. They were lovers, best friends, partners for life, and in the end, she spent ten years taking care of him with his Alzheimer’s.

Regardless of your political leanings, Nancy & Ronnie were iconic soulmates that demonstrated, for me at least, Big Love.

Wishing you love, laughter and magical kisses,

Arielle

Are YOU Supporting Your Dreams?

We all have dreams and desires that we would just LOVE to come true.

 

Perhaps you have a clear picture of what your dream is.

 

You think about it, wish and hope it’s going to come true…but are you really doing everything you can do co-create your dream with the Universe?

 

imagesWhat we often leave out of the equation is sharing our dreams with our friends.

 

According to Forbes magazine, sharing our goals with friends improves our chances of reaching them!

 

Research indicates that writing down our goals, sharing them with friends, and sending our friends regular updates about our progress boosts our chances of succeeding.

 

Studies show that people who merely thought about their goals and how to reach them succeeded less than 50% of the time, while people who wrote goals down, and enlisted friends to help them by sending regular progress reports succeeded closer to 75% of the timeWOW, that is worth paying attention to!

 

I encourage you to start sharing your dreams and goals today!

 

Wishing you love, laughter and magical kisses,

Arielle

Love Letter From God

If you are single and struggling with love, or have any single friends that are, please read this very special love letter from God:

 

Love Letter From God

Dear One,

Love LetterEveryone longs to give themselves completely to someone, to have a deep soul relationship with another, to be loved thoroughly and exclusively, but I say “No.”  Not until you are satisfied, fulfilled and content with being alone, with giving yourself totally and unreservedly to Me, will you be ready to have the intensely personal and unique relationship that I have planned for you.  You will never be united with anyone or anything else until you are united with Me. I want you to stop planning, stop wishing, and start allowing Me to give you the most thrilling plan in existence – one that you cannot even imagine. I want you to have the best.  Please, allow Me to bring it to you.

You must keep watching Me expecting the greatest of things.  Keep experiencing the satisfaction that I AM.  Keep listening and learning the things that I will tell you.  Just wait.  That’s all.  Don’t be anxious. Don’t worry. Don’t look around at the things others have or that I have given them.  Don’t look at the things you think you want. Just keep looking up to Me or you will miss what I want to show you.  And then, when you are ready, I will surprise you with a love far more wonderful than any you have dreamed of.

 You see, until you are ready and until the one I have for you is ready (I am working even at this moment to have you both ready at the same time), until you are both satisfied exclusively with Me and the life I have prepared for you, you won’t be able to experience the love that exemplifies your relationship with Me. This is Perfect Love.

 And Dear One, I want you to have this most wonderful love. I want to see in the flesh a picture of your relationship with Me, and to enjoy materially and concretely the everlasting union of beauty, perfection, and love that I offer.  Know that I love you utterly.  Believe it and be satisfied.

 Love,

God

 

Wishing you love, laughter and magical kisses,

Arielle



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